by Eva Ashwood
Right now, they look like they want to fucking kill each other.
Declan still has a grip on my arms, and he uses that hold on me to tug me behind him, as if he’s trying to physically shield me from Gray. Does he really think his onetime friend would do that?
Fuck. Do I?
I honestly don’t know what to think of Gray anymore. What to put past him. If I thought he was hot and cold last semester, this semester he just seems fucking insane.
The area around us is beginning to fill with people, passersby drawn by the obvious confrontation happening between the Sinners. But despite the small crowd that’s gathered, everything is quiet. Dead fucking silent, like a tomb.
Gray doesn’t even look at our audience, keeping his gaze trained on the two men who were his best friends less than two weeks ago, before everything blew up between all of us.
“I have to do this,” Gray says through gritted teeth. He’s trying to keep his voice calm, but he’s barely managing it. “You don’t understand.”
“I don’t fucking understand?” Declan finally explodes, and I’m not at all surprised that between him and Elias, he’s the one who lost his cool first. “You selfish asshole. You’re using Beth’s death as an excuse to act like a dick, and I’m fucking done with it. Fuck you.”
If I thought things couldn’t get any quieter before, I was wrong. Everyone here knows what happened to Beth. Everyone here knows how close Gray and Beth were, and how her death at the beginning of last summer wrecked him. Everyone also knows that you don’t talk about Beth unless you want your head chopped off, and if it wasn’t clear that the Sinners were over a few minutes ago, it’s sure as hell fucking clear now.
“I made a mistake, Gray,” Declan continues, his voice firm. “I made the biggest fucking mistake of my life by backing up all of your bullshit last semester and hurting Sophie for no reason other than the fact that she’s the scholarship student who is here in honor of your sister’s life.”
My heart is racing in my chest, crawling up my throat as Declan continues. “You were so determined to torture her. Bully her. Make her pay for something that wasn’t her fucking fault. And we helped you because we saw how much pain you were in. Maybe we thought if you just got it out of your system, you’d be able to move on. But I’m fucking tired of cutting you slack.”
Declan takes a step forward, and the crowd around us almost takes an involuntary step back, as if they’re preparing for something to happen. He stops so close to Gray that their shoes practically touch, and everyone seems to strain a little more, listening even harder when Declan speaks again.
“You know what the worst part is?” he says, his voice rough with emotion, his eyes dark. I get the feeling he hates this as much as he hates what his friend is doing, and it’s not easy for him. “The worst of it is that Beth would be fucking ashamed of you, Gray. She loved you. She looked up to you. And she’d hate to see how much of a prick her brother actually is.”
One second passes.
Then two.
Then three.
I’m holding my breath. Gray’s face goes blank. Absolutely fucking blank, a void. Just a face. No emotion, no human expression. He could be a wax statue, nothing underneath that skin—no heart, no mind, no pulse, no blood.
My chest constricts. Just a tiny, painful squeeze of my heart. As much as I hate that I ever shared any connection with Gray, I can’t deny that I did. And enough of that connection still exists that I can feel how much Declan’s words have hurt him.
Two more seconds pass.
Then, without warning, Gray’s fist shoots through the air.
He moves before Declan has time to dodge or even block the blow, and his knuckles connect with Declan’s jaw with a loud crack.
The silence of the crowd breaks in an instant, like someone turned the volume back on. A roar of shouts and cheers and whistles rise up like a symphony from hell around us as Declan shakes off the blow and throws a punch of his own at Gray.
Gray takes the hit, barely stumbling back from where he stands.
Hurt, rage, fear, burning anger: it flickers through his gaze in milliseconds, and he raises a fist again, fully ready to fight his friend in front of the entire school.
No.
I don’t know why, but I can’t fucking stand to watch this. Maybe I should enjoy seeing them fight, but something about it makes my skin crawl and my stomach twist unpleasantly. And I’m sure as hell not going to smirk like Caitlin is right now, her shiny little iPhone pointed at the scene, gloating over the fact that people are ready to tear each other apart.
Elias curses under his breath, and we both move before I even have time to think about it.
Just as Declan winds up to throw another punch, I shove my way between him and Gray, pushing at his chest.
“Stop it!” I yell as Elias joins me, yanking Declan away from Gray as I shove at him again. The two of us are barely able to hold him back. “Stop it Declan. He’s not fucking worth it!”
I didn’t ask for any of this.
I didn’t ask for them to fight over me.
I fucking hate it.
Gray’s jaw is already bruising, his eyes dark and stormy as his gaze flickers between me and Declan. I swear I can see the bridge between them burning right before my eyes.
It hits me, just like that. More than any of the shit that happened before, it hits me like a load of bricks being thrown at my chest that Declan and Elias mean it.
They’re on my side.
“Stay the fuck away from Sophie!” Declan yells, his voice hoarse. His whole body is shaking, the rage vibrating off of him. “I’m not kidding, you asshole. If you fuck with her again, you’ll pay for it.”
Declan and Elias are on my side.
They’re doing exactly what they said they would, and I’d be an idiot to pretend they didn’t just prove they meant what they said on the first day of the semester.
More than prove it.
They’re choosing me over Gray.
“Fuck off, Gray,” Elias mutters, and before I know it, I’m practically pinned between Elias and Declan as they drag me away, protecting me from the crowd with their bodies.
I barely get one glance back at Gray as we go. He’s still standing with people surrounding him, his fists hanging by his sides, an inscrutable look on his face that makes my heart twist in my chest.
No. I can’t feel sorry for him.
I can’t feel sorry for him, because he did this to himself. He’s my enemy, not my friend anymore, and he’s made that very fucking clear.
We keep walking until we’re almost all the way across campus, away from the school buildings and closer to the dorms. There are fewer people over here, and Declan finally stops and turns to me, his eyes scanning my body as if I was the one who just got into a fist-fight with Gray.
“Are you okay?” he asks, searching me with his gaze. There’s something in his eyes that makes my heart do a funny squeeze in my chest that I’m not sure I like. His hands press into my forearms, almost desperately, like he needs me to be okay.
“Why…” I try to find my voice, but it feels small, hoarse. “Why did you do that?”
I know why they did it. They’ve already told me why they did it, they told me a week ago in that little alcove they pulled me into. They told me they were on my side, but I didn’t believe it.
I still almost don’t believe it, but I should, shouldn’t I? How could I not believe it after what I just witnessed?
Declan’s hand skims up my arm, his eyes stormy. “We said we’d have your back, Soph. We meant it.”
“Even though we know you can stand up for yourself.” Elias chuckles, although his expression is as serious as Declan’s. “We actually had a bet last semester,” he tells me. “A bet we lost. We bet Taylor that you’d get into a fist-fight with Caitlin before the end of the semester.”
“A bet…”
My brows pull together. I think I remember something like that from the night of the party.
I remember Taylor calling to them from across the kitchen, telling them to pay up.
“That’s what your bet was about?” I ask, turning my head to catch his gaze.
“Yeah.” He rolls his eyes. “It was stupid. Although if you ever decide you do want to fight Caitlin, I’ll be there to cheer you on all the way.” His smile falls, and he takes a step closer, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Declan in front of me. “But if anyone’s going to fight Gray, it’s going to be one of us. Not you. We won’t let him hurt you.”
My heart gives a hard thud, like a motor trying to start, like a dead thing wanting to come to life. Wanting to resurrect itself from the grave I buried it in a long time ago. Wanting to step out of the dark where it’s safe and into a strange world of feelings and trust and need that I’m so fucking scared of.
My gaze flicks to Declan. He’s serious. So fucking serious. He’s got a bruise on his face from where Gray punched him, and I brush my fingers over it without thinking, as if feeling it will be the last piece of proof that finally allows me to let go and trust.
He leans into my touch, taking another step toward me so that his thighs brush up against my thighs, and before I can stop to think about what I’m doing, I lean in and I kiss him.
His response is instant, knee weakening, and deep. Like he’s searching for something I have, something only I can give him, something he needs. He steals the breath from my lungs, and the ache in my heart is banished by the hungry press of his lips.
When we break apart for air, I don’t think about it. I can’t think about it as my hands find Elias and pull him to me, crushing him with a kiss that’s just as deep and desperate and hot as Declan’s, just as soul-destroying. Elias is confident with his kiss, his tongue sliding across the seam of my mouth, silently demanding that I give him everything.
When I let him in, Declan makes a noise in the back of his throat as his fingers brush up against the back of my arm. Not because he’s jealous of his friend, but because he already needs me again. He already needs the touch, the taste, the connection. He needs me in the same way Elias is kissing me—with a hunger that seems unending.
Heat flares in the pit of my stomach before sliding even lower, and I tear myself away and take a step back, sucking in a breath as I look between Elias and Declan. My heart beats loud, steady, so fast I think it’s going to fall out of me, but it’s not fear I’m feeling.
It’s not confusion or guilt.
My heart races because I suddenly know exactly what I want.
And they seem to know too.
The air between us changes, charging with the sort of electric energy that precedes a storm. I could probably stand here for another hour debating the wisdom of what I’m about to do, but I don’t really care anymore whether it’s wise or not.
Declan and Elias are on my side. They’ve chosen me.
That’s all I need to know right now.
Without a word, I step between them and begin to stride across campus, heading toward my dorm building. I don’t even have to look back to know that they’ve fallen into step just behind me. I can feel them. The energy between us crackles like lightning, making us feel connected somehow even though we’re no longer touching.
None of us speak as I use my key card to get inside the building and lead them up the stairs to my floor, but every step we take seems to speak for us.
This is real.
Every bit of it.
The way I feel about them.
And the way they feel about me.
I slip my card into the lock on my dorm room door, and it opens with a soft whir and a click. Still silent, Declan and Elias follow me inside. The door closes, and they turn around in my small living room to look at me as I lean my back against the heavy wood.
This is where I kissed Declan for the first time, I realize. The day the three Sinners came to my room for that impromptu and totally bullshit “inspection.” That was the first time I realized that something existed between us, a spark that just needed a little oxygen to turn into a roaring flame.
My attention flicks from Declan to Elias. Both men are watching me with careful gazes, like they’re trying to read my mind and figure out if I really mean what they think I mean by bringing them back here.
A small smile tugs at my lips as I drop my backpack on the floor. Then I reach down and grab the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head.
11
“Oh, fuck.”
Declan’s voice is a little strangled, and my smile widens as I drop my shirt on the floor near the door. My nipples harden beneath the thin material of my bra, and neither of the men misses it. Elias’s eyes darken, his gaze moving down to my chest before snapping up to my face.
For half a second, nobody moves. Then Declan and Elias both stride forward at the same time, closing the space between us. Declan catches my wrist and pulls me away from the door as his lips crash down on mine, and I feel Elias slip around behind me, closing me in between the two of them.
My heart rate spikes as Declan’s kiss deepens. But before I can drown in it, he’s pulling back, letting Elias turn my head to kiss me too. It reminds me of the time all three men brought me down from a panic attack by touching and kissing me, working as a team to bring me to one of the best orgasms of my life.
We’re missing a person. What was once four is now three.
I try not to let thoughts of Gray invade my head as I groan into Elias’s mouth, squirming a little as Declan palms my breasts and plays with my nipples.
It’s better this way.
Even though I know Declan and Elias can feel Gray’s absence too, even though I know it hurts us all in a way, I want them to know how much having them on my side means to me.
Determined to make them feel as taken care of as I do, I reach down and palm them both through their jeans, rubbing the heel of my hand over their stiffening dicks. As another groan rumbles in Declan’s chest, I let any thoughts of Gray fall away.
I have everything I need right here in this room.
I have two men who care about me.
Who won’t betray me.
“Oh, fuck, Blue.” Elias releases my chin, letting me turn my face back toward Declan. “You feel so damn good.”
I hold back a grin as both men thrust into my hands, touching and kissing me everywhere they can reach. “We’re still almost fully clothed. If you think this feels good, just fucking wait.”
He growls against my skin, and the next thing I know, I’ve got his strong arms around me and am being physically lifted and carried toward the bedroom. Declan is only a half step behind us, and when Elias tosses me down on my mattress, both men crawl up beside me quickly. My breasts bounce a little as I land, and the hungry look on Declan’s face makes my thighs clench. I reach behind me to unclasp the band before tossing my bra aside.
“Jesus,” Declan mutters. Then his head drops, his mouth finding one of my nipples as he palms my other breast, rolling that nipple between his finger and thumb.
I writhe beneath him, arching off the bed as sensations explode inside of me. Elias slips between my legs and starts undoing my pants, and I lift my hips off the bed to help him pull them down my legs.
We’re all still blazing with the adrenaline and high emotions of the confrontation with Gray, and I can feel it infecting everything we do, adding an edge of desperation to each movement. Elias tugs my pants and panties off at the same moment Declan bites down on my nipple, and I let out a gasping sort of grunt as I grab Declan’s head in both hands. Instead of trying to push him away, I hold him firmly in place, and I can feel his smile against my skin before he begins attacking my nipple in earnest. His tongue lashes against it as he clamps his fingers around my other nipple and tugs, drawing another strangled noise out of me.
When Elias drops his head between my legs and draws a line up my slit with his tongue, I almost jump off the bed. My back arches like a bow, thrusting my breast deeper into Declan’s mouth as the number of nerve endings firing in my b
ody reaches max capacity. He teases my clit with his tongue, and I’m writhing and panting when he pulls away a moment later.
“What are—”
My gasp sounds outraged even to my own ears, and Elias chuckles as he sits back on his heels.
“Don’t worry, Blue. I’m not done.”
With that promise, he lies back on the bed. Declan releases my breast from his mouth as Elias grabs my hand and tugs me toward him, urging me up.
He licks his lips, his light brown eyes flashing with heat and sinful amusement. “Come sit over here.”
As soon as I understand what he’s asking, I scramble to comply. My body is humming, buzzing, demanding more of the incredible feelings they’re bringing out in me, and if Elias wants me to sit on his face, there’s no fucking way I’m turning him down.
I swing one knee over, and he bites at my inner thigh as I settle into place, making a jolt of sensation shoot through me. He hooks his arms around my legs, his fingers finding my pussy and spreading me wide, giving him complete and total access to everything.
A long, heavy groan falls from my mouth as he laps at me, the tip of his tongue finding my clit and riding the hard nub until I’m squirming on his face. My breath is coming in choppy gasps, and I’m surprised Elias can still breathe at all as I roll my hips against the brush of his tongue.
“Holy shit. I think that’s just about the sexiest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.”
Declan’s voice is husky with lust, and when I look up, I see that he’s kneeling on the bed watching his friend eat me out with hooded eyes. His words make arousal curl up my spine, and I cup my breasts, plucking at my nipples as I watch him right back.
I don’t know if they’ve ever done this before—if they’ve ever shared a girl beyond what happened in Gray’s room that night. But the thought that it’s turning Declan on so much fills my veins with liquid heat.
“This isn’t a party for two, you know,” I say. It’s more of a gasp, really, because just as I speak, Elias stiffens his tongue and starts fucking me with it, and my eyes practically roll back in my head.