“I hope so. I’m going back to work on Monday.”
“But you’re not well enough!” Eunice cried. “The doctor said to give your ribs six weeks to mend properly.”
“I can’t sit around doing nothing any longer,” Raymond insisted. “Besides, I need the money.”
Eunice jumped to her feet. “But that’s ridiculous!”
“I’ve got to start saving again soon, sis!” Raymond insisted. “I don’t mind. I want to go back to work. Don’t worry, though.” He turned to Hazel. “Your dad will go easy on me, Hazel. He’s a good boss.”
“I should hope so!” Hazel smiled at the injured young man. “He knows what you’ve been through.”
Eunice was staring out of the bedroom window. “Did you tell our mam you’re going back to work too soon?”
“Not yet,” Raymond admitted.
“Well, they’ll be walking back from church soon. You’d better tell her this afternoon.”
“That’s my cue to leave, then!” Kenny got to his feet. “I don’t want to hang around for the family fireworks.”
“I’ll walk you to the end of the street.” Eunice took her sweetheart’s hand and turned to Hazel. “Are you coming?”
“In a minute.” Hazel had decided to confide her suspicions about Glenn to Raymond, but so far, hadn’t had the courage to do it. Now would be the ideal opportunity, if she could find the nerve to confess her unsettling thoughts.
When they were alone, she cleared her throat. “I have something to tell you, Ray.”
“You don’t have to, Hazel.” Raymond’s voice was low. “I think I know what you’re going to say.”
“Do you?” Hazel was surprised.
“It was Glenn’s pals, wasn’t it?”
“I’m not sure who it was,” she began, but dropped her head and continued, “But I know Glenn made some threats to me about what might happen to anyone who danced with me at the Parish Hall.”
“Don’t tell me you’re still seeing that man!”
Hazel didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know whether she wanted to continue seeing Glenn, but she was carrying the man’s baby. She didn’t have a choice. She would have to make it up to Glenn and confess everything soon before she started to show. Then she would have to marry the man she once hoped she would spend the rest of her life with. Did she still want that, she asked herself? What if she were wrong about him? If Glenn was innocent, then she’d done him a huge injustice.
“What is it, Hazel? You’ve been quiet all morning. I have all the time in the world if you want to tell me what’s on your mind. Is it all this upset and suspicion about Glenn?”
She looked into Raymond’s bruised face and couldn’t help seeing the love he held in his eyes. She knew he cared for her, and knowing how he felt made it more difficult for her to tell him what was in her heart, but she knew he deserved to know the truth, as hurtful as that might be for each of them.
“It’s just as you thought, at least I think you’re right about Glenn’s pals. I believe Glenn might know who beat you up. He won’t confess, but then, he wouldn’t, would he? But there is still a chance he might know nothing about it.” She shrugged. “I don’t want to condemn him when I can’t be sure.”
Raymond shuffled to sit upright on the bed, holding his ribcage gingerly. “You should tell the police and let them get to the bottom of this. They’ll soon make Bradshaw talk if he had anything to do with this.”
“I can’t, Ray.” She hated herself for being weak. “I can’t get Glenn into trouble, and we might be wrong. Perhaps his pals did it, thinking they were sticking up for Glenn or something by warning you off. Even if it was them, maybe Glenn knew nothing about their plans. Did any of them tell you why they attacked you? It might have been random thugs who just wanted to steal your savings, couldn’t it?”
“I don’t believe what I’m hearing!” Raymond thumped the eiderdown cover on his bed. “Look at me, will you? See what that man has done to me!”
“I’m sorry, Ray.” Hazel had tears in her eyes. “I know how much you’ve suffered, and there isn’t a day goes by that I wish I could completely believe Glenn when he tells me he had nothing to do with it.”
“Then why are you still seeing him?” Raymond asked. “Is it because you’re afraid? Has he threatened to do something to you if you leave him?” He looked concerned and reached for her hand. “Is that it, Hazel?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know whether he will want to see me again because I didn’t go to meet him last night.”
“Well, I’d see that as a good thing, wouldn’t you?”
She shook her head again. “You don’t understand. I can’t break up with Glenn.”
“Why not?”
Hazel couldn’t bring herself to say the words. She touched her stomach and pressed her lips together. “I’ve been stupid, Ray. I made a mistake, and I know I could end up regretting it for the rest of my life, but I can’t change it. I tried to, but I couldn’t go through with it and—.”
“Wait! Stop!” He shuffled to the edge of the bed and gripped her hand tightly. His face was full of sympathy as he looked into her eyes. “Are you saying you’re having that man’s baby?”
Hazel had to look away from his eyes. She nodded. “I’m so ashamed, Ray. I was foolish, and he turned my head. You know what he’s like! He had all this sweet talk, and he said he loved me, and I fell for him. I wish I hadn’t, but I can’t lie.”
“Do you still love him?”
Raymond kept hold of her hand. She felt the strength and warmth in his fingers and was grateful he hadn’t already asked her to leave. She wouldn’t have blamed him.
“I don’t know what I feel now. I know I don’t want to see him in trouble, even though I think he probably deserves some kind of punishment for what happened to you.” She couldn’t bring herself to look into Raymond’s eyes. “I do still care for him,” she admitted. “But I wanted what Mam and Dad have, you know? They’ve always had a close marriage, and I know me and Norman are lucky to have them. I thought I could have the same kind of happiness with Glenn, but that’s not going to happen now. He’s more interested in the, you know, the physical side of things.” Heat flushed her cheeks, but she felt she owed it to Raymond to be completely honest with him.
“And you want more than passion from your sweetheart, is that it?”
Hazel nodded. “I want him to take an interest in what I do and who I am. I want him to be my friend. Mam and Dad have always been like best friends, do you know what I mean?”
Raymond nodded. “Not many people have that kind of love, Hazel. What your mam and dad have is special. Anyone who knows them can see that.”
“I know, and I sometimes think I’m asking too much to want the same. Perhaps I should be happy that Glenn loves me at all, even if his way is different to what I expected.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Hazel.” Raymond kept her hand in his as his voice dropped to a whisper. “But I have to ask you. Do you enjoy what Glenn can give you?”
Hazel’s chin lifted as she shook her head. “I, I, I can’t say that because that makes me sound like a, like a, well, you know what!”
“You’re not a tart, Hazel.” Raymond smiled and touched her cheek. “I’m sure you think you are in love, and people in love do stupid things sometimes.”
“You sound as if you understand.” She dared to look into his eyes again and was glad to see his expression was still one of compassion.
“Does Glenn know about the baby?” Raymond’s voice was still low. “If he does and he won’t stand by you, I’ll be the one arranging an attack on him!”
“No!” She grabbed his hand. “Promise me you won’t do anything, Ray. He doesn’t know. I haven’t told him yet. I didn’t know how and I haven’t had the chance since you were attacked.”
“I see. So he doesn’t know?”
She shook her head.
“How far along are you? Do you know?”
“I missed
my second monthly.” She blushed. It didn’t seem proper to be discussing this with Raymond. “I went to see somebody about getting rid of it, but I couldn’t go through with it.”
He looked shocked. “Are you talking about abortion?”
She nodded again. “One of the models took me to see a woman who said she could do it. I went to the appointment, but I couldn’t go through with it. I changed my mind. But now, after everything that’s happened, a small part of me wishes I had done it. I wouldn’t be in this pickle now, would I?” Tears began to roll down her face. “But I couldn’t kill my baby, Ray. It’s not the baby’s fault I was stupid! Now I’ll have to marry Glenn and make the best of things, won’t I?”
Ray carefully swung his legs over the side of the bed, put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. “Do you want to marry Glenn Bradshaw?”
“I don’t know! A few weeks ago I would have said yes in a flash, but now, after all this, I’m not sure.” She drew away from Ray. “But what choice do I have?”
Ray wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “You could marry me.”
Hazel stared into Raymond’s eyes, unable to comprehend what she’d heard.
“Did you hear me?” His warm smile broke through her shock.
She could see the love in his eyes, and more fat tears rolled down her cheeks. “You can’t mean that, Ray. It’s very sweet of you, but you know I don’t love you like that. You’re like a big brother to me.”
“I could take care of you, Hazel, if you let me.” His fingers pressed hers, and his eyes held hers steadily. “I wouldn’t ask you to do anything you weren’t happy with. I mean, err…” he lowered his eyes. “In the bedroom department, I mean.”
“I couldn’t let you do that, Ray. It wouldn’t be fair on you.” She took her hand from his and got to her feet. “No!” She made a decision. “This is my mistake, and I have to face the consequences.”
“Wait!” Raymond struggled to stand, holding his ribcage as he straightened. “I mean it, Hazel. You can’t marry that thug. Think about it. This will be for the rest of your life!” He took a step closer to her. “You’re only nineteen. The rest of your life will be a long time to live with someone who doesn’t come up to your expectations.” He grasped her shoulders. “If you marry me, at least you know we will be friends. If that’s all we ever are, I’ll be happy.”
She looked up into his eyes and knew he was sincere. He was offering her an easy solution. She wouldn’t have to face the shame of admitting her affair with Glenn.
“But how could we get married, Ray?” Her mind was spinning in circles trying to work out what was happening. “We’d need to marry quickly because of the baby, but we haven’t even been seeing each other in that way. How could we explain things to our parents?”
“Leave that to me.” Raymond folded her into his arms and began stroking her back gently.
She was aware of his injuries and was careful not to press against him. “You’re too good for me, Ray. I don’t deserve you.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” He kissed the top of her head. “Will you let me help you?”
Hazel took a deep breath. How did she feel about Raymond? Could she see herself married to him? Being married to him would solve all her problems. She would have to relinquish all feelings she had for Glenn. He would be shut out of her life, and her baby would be born into a legitimate relationship with a man who, who what? Raymond hadn’t said anything much about her baby. She had to ask him.
“What about the baby, Ray? How would you feel about bringing up Glenn’s child?”
“The child will be yours, Hazel. Bradshaw doesn’t need to know anything about it.” He smiled down into her eyes. “I know I can love your child just as much as I have always loved you.”
“Oh, Ray.” She leant against him as gently as she could. “Are you sure?”
“When will we tell your dad?”
“Oh, Lord!” Hazel realised she didn’t have the faintest idea how they would arrange everything.
“Don’t panic.” Raymond kept her close while whispering to the top of her head. “I can tell them we’ve been seeing each other in secret for months,” he suggested. “They’ll understand when I say we didn’t want to tell them before we were sure of our feelings, eh? You know what our families are like. They would have teased us, wouldn’t they?”
“Do you think they’ll believe you?”
“They’ll have to, won’t they?” Raymond took her hand. “Are you sure you want to do this, Hazel?”
“Are you?” she asked him with her heart pounding.
“I never thought I would be actually saying these words to you.” He placed her at arms’ length but kept hold of her hands. “Will you marry me, Hazel Harris?”
She nibbled her lower lip and hesitated. Raymond would make a good husband and father. She wasn’t sure Glenn would agree to marry her, let alone want to bring up the baby. Raymond was offering to love the baby. She couldn’t turn down this opportunity. She nodded. “If you’ll have me, Raymond Simpson.” She smiled and expected him to kiss her, but he didn’t. “What do we do now,” she asked, feeling a little embarrassed.
“Go home. I’ll come over when they all get back from church. I’ll ask your dad first. Then I’ll tell my mam and dad.”
“Oh, Lord! I can’t believe this is happening! What will they say?”
“Don’t you worry about a thing, love. I’ll make sure they understand.”
“Will you tell them about the baby?”
“Only if I have to.” His smile was full of sympathy. “What about this? I’ll say we are mad about each other and if we don’t get married soon, it might be a mistake because we’re finding it difficult to keep our hands off each other.”
“You wouldn’t!” Hazel put her hand to her mouth and giggled nervously.
“Only if I have to.”
“Oh, Ray. Are you really sure?”
“Stop asking! I’m sure.”
Chapter 20 – Unexplained Anger
When Raymond called later that afternoon and asked to speak to her parents, Hazel waited in the kitchen with her brother.
“Does Ray want to go to the pub with our dad again?” Norman asked. “Is that why he’s here?”
“Shush!” Hazel shook her head and tried to listen to the conversation in the parlour.
Her father’s shout was like a bomb exploding in the house. He bellowed at the top of his voice, his words incomprehensible with fury. Hazel reached for her brother and clung to Norman’s hand as she felt the blood draining from her face.
“Over my dead body!” her father yelled. “What do you think you are asking? It’s impossible! Never!”
“I thought our dad liked Ray.” Norman glanced nervously at Hazel. “What’s he said to upset him like that?”
“He’s asked to marry me, Norman,” Hazel explained in a shaking voice.
Norman’s eyes widened in surprise. “I didn’t know you were walking out with Ray.”
“We kept it secret, so you kids wouldn’t tease us,” she lied.
“Well, Mam and Dad don’t like secrets, so I suppose that’s why he’ll be angry.”
They could hear Raymond pleading with their father but couldn’t hear the words.
“Get out!” Mr Harris yelled, and the parlour door flew open. “I can’t listen to this!”
“But, Mr Harris, you don’t understand,” Raymond pleaded as the older man pushed him down the hallway. “We love each other, and we just have to get married as soon as possible.”
Hazel watched her father as the two men reached the front door. He seemed to shrink as he lowered his head and wrapped his arms around his chest.
“Uncle Donald.” Ray put out a hand to Hazel’s father. “What is it?”
Her dad took Raymond’s arm and with a supreme effort, shoved him to the door. Then his shoulders drooped again, and he shook his head. “I’m sorry, lad. It’s not your fault, but it will never happen, Raymond. Just go
home.”
“But why?” Raymond looked through to the kitchen and his eyes locked with Hazel’s. “I don’t understand why you object to us getting married. Our families have been friends for years. You know me! What’s wrong with Hazel and me getting married?”
Hazel watched her father’s red face screw into a mask of rage, and he bellowed once again, “Go home, Raymond!”
The young man looked at Hazel and lifted his shoulders. His confused expression echoed her own. What was her father thinking of? Why was he so angry? She watched Raymond leave and knew her hopes of reaching an easy solution to her problem were dissolving quickly.
She ran to her father. “Dad! What’s wrong? Why won’t you let me marry Ray?”
Her father wouldn’t answer her. He leant against the wall clutching his arms across his chest.
She heard a noise and turned to see her mother coming out of the parlour. The older woman’s face looked white as a sheet. “You can’t marry Raymond, Hazel.”
“But, why, Mam?”
Her mother glared at her father for a few seconds before answering, “It wouldn’t be right.”
“What?” Hazel’s mouth stayed open as she continued to look at her mother. She shook her head. “No, I don’t understand.”
“Then we should explain.” Her mother’s voice was calm, but Hazel could see her hands were trembling. “We thought we’d been clever, you see. We all thought we could be grown-up and civilised about this and no one would get hurt.” She glared at her husband. “But secrets this big are always bound to come out.”
“I don’t understand, Mam. What secret?”
“Come.” Her mother took her hand. “You too, Norman. This concerns you, too.”
“You can’t tell them!” Donald Harris sprang from the wall. “You’ll be opening Pandora’s box. Keep your mouth shut, Martha!”
Martha rounded on her husband. “The box is already open, Donald,” she shouted angrily. “In case you hadn’t noticed, the curse has been hovering over us for years because of what you did, and now your daughter is about to have her heart broken.”
Norman looked at Hazel. “What’s going on?”
Happiness for Hazel Page 19