“Damn it, you’re right,” Kerry said. “How is she so good at that?”
“It’s a talent unmatched.”
Suddenly, April looked Lara dead in the eye, as if she could sense that Lara and Kerry were talking about her. Lara wouldn’t put that sort of sixth sense past her.
“Lara! You’re here. Good. Come up here. You’re going to stand next to me.”
It was impossible to ignore her. April was all business. Playtime was over.
Or was it?
Lara grabbed Kerry’s hand and led her onto the float. Even when they were both standing next to April, Lara didn’t let go of the fingers laced between her own.
As April doled out more instructions, Lara forced herself to take this seriously and listen. But the awe factor of it all didn’t sink in until the truck pulling their float started moving and they slowly inched their way onto Main Street, passing a seemingly endless crowd of people watching them on the sidewalks. Lara smiled at the kids they passed. Some of the older women threw sweets to the passersby. Lara let them take the glory as they took charge of the float, charming the crowd and entertaining the kids who scoured the streets for candy like ducks racing for bread crumbs in a pond. Beside her, Kerry’s eyes glittered in the sun. The way her short hair ruffled ever so slightly in the wind made for a sight almost better than the crowd or the parade lineup.
The crowd was impressive right from the get-go, and the parade didn’t even start on the busiest street in town. The early route passed through the area with most of the government facilities, where the few firefighters manning the station instead of participating waved back at the floats. A police officer stood beside his car, watching with a fond expression. The secretary at the post office gazed wistfully out of her window.
Lara was more than content to stand towards the middle of the float, where the crowd wouldn’t see her unless they were really looking, but as they approached the nursing home, she stepped forward, eager to see who was waiting on the lawn. Only a few moments passed before she locked eyes with her grandmother, sitting on a bench in a flowery gown with a nurse as her escort.
Lara left Kerry’s side to grab a handful of candy from one of the buckets being passed around. She tossed it into the courtyards. A couple of kids who sat with their grandparents on the lawn scrambled to collect the treats, but Betty was able to lean down and grab a piece. She held it up for Lara to see, and Lara kept that view in her sight until the truck pulled them too far away to see her any longer.
Lara returned to Kerry, who asked no questions. Lara would have explained, but as the float pulled onto the busier streets, she couldn’t hear her own thoughts, let alone her own voice. The crowd conversed excitedly, children screamed at the floats that caught their attention the most, and the marching band a few spots ahead of them had amped up their playing to a volume Lara didn’t know was possible. Her heart was beating fast. She was caught up in the moment, high on adrenaline and the sight of so many happy faces around her. She could do nothing but rake her eyes across the crowd and enjoy the company.
She recognized quite a few faces. It was hard not to. No matter how hard she’d tried to leave Perry behind, she couldn’t forget its faces or names. Her hand in Kerry’s, she picked out neighbors and old acquaintances and schoolmates in the crowd. Cindy and Tommy were among them, cuddled into the side of April’s ex-husband, who looked like nothing more than a devoted father enjoying the day with his kids. Maybe that’s what he was. He was a cheater, but maybe he was a good dad too. Maybe Lara could see why April was so willing to forgive him. At least partially.
One face stood out from the crowd in that it was obscured. Phones were held up in the air, recording in every direction Lara looked, but only one face was covered by the lens of a real camera. When Paige finally pulled it away to reveal her face, she was squinting in the sunlight, but it didn’t seem to bother her. The camera fell to her neck, and one hand reached up to cup above her brow, shielding her eyes from the light. She stared pointedly at Lara and waved. Her hand flapped in the sky like she was one of the six-year-olds tumbling through the streets on a sugar high. She looked happy, taking photos and letting herself be absorbed in the energy of the crowd
Her lens pointed in their direction for a quick shot of Lara and the Tight Knit float. Lara may have even smiled for the picture, a gut reaction, like the smile and thumbs up Paige gave her as she dropped her camera again. For that one second, Lara and Paige were in their own little world.
Then the hand that wasn’t holding Lara’s found its way towards her hip, and before Lara knew it, she was being pulled closer to Kerry’s side. When Lara turned to her, Kerry’s smile was just as wide as Paige’s. She was on the same adrenaline high as Lara. There was so much of herself that she recognized in Kerry.
Kerry leaned in for the kiss, and Lara missed a beat, her eyes open wide even after Kerry’s lips pressed into hers. Her feet stumbled as she regained her footing, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting in Paige’s direction before she closed them and immersed herself in the kiss. When Kerry pulled away, opened her eyes, and regained that playful smile, unbelievably, the float had only moved a few feet, which Lara realized when she looked back into the crowd at Paige. She was still in exactly the same spot.
They made immediate eye contact again, but this time, Paige’s gaze quickly shifted from Lara to the rest of the float. She eyed the papier-mâché yarn, the rest of the Tight Knit members—every aspect of the float but Lara. And when Paige’s gaze finally swung back in her direction, Lara saw it: Paige wasn’t looking at her. She stared right past Lara, at Kerry, her mouth sunk into an unreadable expression. And when her gaze briefly did fall back onto Lara’s, her smile didn’t perk up again.
The float moved on, and Paige drifted out of sight. Mere moments ago, Lara had thought this whole experience was better than she’d ever expected, and better than she would ever admit out loud to anyone—not even April or Kerry. But that happiness was as temporary as everything else in her life. The weird moment with Paige was enough to ruin it, and, for once, Lara was glad that Perry was so small. When the parade ended soon after, she was more than ready to get away from it all.
The rest of the caravan carried their excitement with them, and when all of the floats returned to their starting spots, the park was even livelier than it had been before the parade started. Groups from different floats mingled together, trading leftover candy and complimenting one another on their costumes and designs. April was in the center of the action, as always, with the rest of the Tight Knit ladies, and Kerry started toward them, pulling Lara along by the hand.
“I can’t stay,” Lara said, planting her feet to the ground and stopping Kerry from dragging her farther. “I carpooled here, and I have to meet someone.”
“I could give you a ride later.” The suggestion was punctuated by an obvious pout.
Lara looked out over the parking lot and caught a glimpse of Paige, leaning against the car and staring back at her, her fingers clasped around a half-burnt cigarette. She took a long drag, and the wisps of smoke she let out clouded her face.
“I can’t,” Lara said again. “I’m driving.” She yanked her hand out of Kerry’s, eyes shifting between Kerry and Paige, her gaze lingering on the latter as she flicked the withered end of her cigarette onto the concrete.
“Alright.” Kerry surrendered much more easily than Lara had expected. She made no move to reach back for her hand. “I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah,” Lara said in relief she hoped didn’t show. “For sure.”
Lara gave her a quick wave goodbye and was off. She met Paige’s eye again as she passed the swing set and navigated her way through the heavily occupied jungle gym. Paige hadn’t moved from her spot against the car, and she didn’t perk up much when Lara came to stand by her side.
“You still smoke?”
“No.” Paige dropped the butt onto the concrete and put it out with her heel. “I stopped last year. I borrowed thi
s from someone in the crowd. It’s not even the kind I like. They’re not as good as I remember.” Paige let out a deep sigh and kicked the cigarette under the car.
“Stressed?”
Paige shook her head. She wouldn’t meet Lara’s eye. Her gaze drifted back towards the crowd around the floats. “Just thinking too much.”
“About the project?”
“No.”
“What, then?”
Paige shook her head again, more aggressively this time. “Don’t worry about it. Can we go?” She tugged fiercely several times on the locked door handle.
Lara fished the keys out of her jacket pocket, then put them right back in as she stared at Paige’s knotted eyebrows and the tight frown on her face. “No,” she said firmly. “Not until you tell me what’s going on in your head.”
“Lara…”
Lara could sense the rebuttal before it started. Arguing wasn’t going to help. Lara softened her voice and laid a hand over Paige’s crossed forearms. Paige flinched at the contact, but Lara ignored it. “Hey, come on. You can tell me. What’s wrong? I thought we were having a good day. What’s bothering you?”
“This.”
They were standing close enough that Lara got a perfect view of Paige’s throat bobbing as she swallowed. Her eyes softened. Lara had a sense that Paige was coaxing some sort of confession out of her.
Her lips moved in for the kiss.
Lara did nothing to stop it.
CHAPTER 17
At eight in the morning, Lara’s ring tone felt much louder than it did during the day. As she searched for her phone amidst the sheets, she wondered which was worse: being woken up by a bad version of William Tell’s Overture or by Rocket pawing against her face demanding breakfast.
“Hello?”
“Lara?” Paige’s voice.
Was this a dream? Sensing movement, Rocket jumped onto the bed and dug his paws into her side. Definitely not a dream.
“What’s up?”
They hadn’t talked about the kiss. They should have when it happened, but they hadn’t. Lara hadn’t let them. When she’d pulled away, she hadn’t been able to look Paige in the eye. She hadn’t been ready to listen to what Paige was feeling. She hadn’t been willing to admit that she’d been weak. For the past forty-eight hours that was all she had been repeating to herself. The kiss was nothing more than a moment of weakness, and if she stayed away from Paige, they would both forget about it. But here Paige was on the phone, so so much for that plan.
So why did Lara feel…giddy? Why did she want Paige to talk about it so badly? For once Paige was doing what Lara wanted, and for some reason all Lara wanted Paige to do was to go against her wishes and push those boundaries in a way Lara couldn’t bring herself to do.
“I normally wouldn’t ask this,” Paige said, “but I wasn’t sure who else to call. My car doesn’t want to start, and I have an interview I really need to get to. I was wondering if you can drive me?”
She shouldn’t. She’d been asleep. She had plans to see her grandmother later. She had her own rules of avoiding Paige not to break.
“Let me get ready. I’ll be there in a few.”
The car ride was eerily silent. Under any other circumstances, Lara would have been thankful not to have to talk to Paige, but after that kiss things were different. She couldn’t look at Paige’s face without seeing her lips and thinking of how soft they had been. She couldn’t look at Paige’s hands without thinking of how they had felt gripped around her waist. She couldn’t look at the phone in her lap without wondering why Paige’s phone call hadn’t been more than just a request to bum a ride.
Lara wasn’t going to be the first one to bring up the kiss, but the silence was making her skin crawl. Small talk was neutral territory, easy, routine.
She eyed the pen and paper on Paige’s dashboard. “No camera today?”
“Why? Want me to film you?”
“No. I’m just making conversation.”
“You sure? You look great. Did you mean to get all dolled up just for me?”
Lara blushed. Her eyes fell to her lap. Her outfit wasn’t that fancy, was it? She had spent longer than usual picking out her clothes, but she hadn’t wanted it to seem like she’d been trying too hard to look nice. She didn’t want to give Paige the wrong idea.
“I need to do laundry,” Lara lied. “I ran out of my usual clothes, so I had to wear something nicer.”
“Hey, I’m not complaining. You look beautiful.” Paige paused. “Not that you don’t look good in sweatpants and T-shirts too.”
Lara rolled her eyes. “Please. You’re just saying that so the next time you need blackmail against me you can film me looking like a complete slob.”
“Fine. You got me. Guess I’ll just have to deal with you looking like a movie star all the time. How awful.”
Lara found herself laughing, and it brought back memories of a time when she’d thought Paige Daley was charming and funny. The moment seemed so long ago, and yet it was right before her, close enough for Lara to grab ahold of if she wanted. She let her fingers brush across it but refused to cling.
Paige cleared her throat and stumbled hastily over her next words. “My camera’s in the bag I put in your trunk. Along with some other stuff.”
Lara raised an eyebrow. “Do I want to know what else you brought?”
“I’ll show you later. Take a left.”
Now Paige was acting more like her usual stubborn self. It calmed Lara, if only a little. “This would be a lot simpler if you told me where we were going instead of giving me directions. I know I haven’t lived here in four years, but the town isn’t big enough for me to forget where everything is.”
“If I tell you it’ll ruin the surprise.”
“I don’t know how I feel about your surprises anymore, Paige.”
“Hey.” Paige reached across the gearshift to put her hand over Lara’s. Her fingers held Lara lightly around the wrist. “Live a little. Trust me.”
Lara did not trust Paige, but Paige spoke so softly that it was all she could do in the moment. Paige’s touch was gone as quickly as it appeared, and Lara resumed ten and two on the steering wheel, letting Paige guide her.
It wasn’t long before the route started to look a little too familiar. Perry wasn’t big, but Lara recalled far too many bus rides cruising the exact same roads that Paige was taking now. She clung to her doubt for as long as she could, but there was no mistaking the parking lot they were pulling into.
“My high school? Really?” Of all the places that Lara never wanted to set foot in ever again, Marshall High School was pretty high up on that list.
“Yep,” Paige said, her tone peppy as she got out of the car, bringing her notepads and recorder with her as she stepped outside. “You should come in with me.”
“Have you completely forgotten all the horror stories I told you about going to school here?” Lara spoke to her out the window, her seatbelt still firmly fastened.
“Come on,” Paige coaxed. “You’re going to get bored waiting in the car. It’s cold out here. Come in and be my assistant.” Paige didn’t give time Lara to rebut. She was already heading toward the trunk.
Lara huffed and clicked her seatbelt free. She threw her door open and tumbled out to see Paige retrieving her bag. “Fine. I’ll come in, but only because I forgot to bring something to knit in the car. And I’m not going to be your assistant. I’m not Vanna White.”
“You’re right; you’re prettier.” Paige’s smile was too smug. Lara wasn’t going to feed her ego, even if part of her did enjoy the compliment.
“Who are you interviewing anyway?” Lara asked as they walked inside.
“Principal Hawthorne.”
“He’s still the principal? How old is he?”
“Eighty-six,” Paige said, ever the researcher.
At the office, Paige showed her ID to the secretary, who dutifully copied her name onto the guest sign-in sheet. Lara stepped forward to present her
own, but the secretary waved her away.
“Don’t worry, Lara. I remember you. I’ve already got you down.” Her smile was welcoming, and Lara mirrored the gesture. She remembered this woman too.
“Principal Hawthorne is actually in a meeting right now,” the secretary said. “They started a bit late, so you may have to give him twenty minutes or so.”
Good thing Lara hadn’t chosen to wait in the car.
“Is it okay if we walk around?” Paige asked. “I’d like to take some photos.” She held up her camera to prove that she was a journalist, not a predator to avoid letting loose in the halls.
“Sure. Take your time.”
“Let’s head to the gym,” Paige said. “It’s over…” She pointed in the wrong direction. “Here, right?”
“I remember where it is,” Lara said, and she guided Paige to the shortcut. Within minutes, the squeaking of their shoes on the freshly polished tile was replaced by the cacophony of a whole group of feet sprinting across a basketball court. Lara peered through the windows of the gym doors. The shouts of the P.E. class grew louder as she pressed her head closer to the entrance.
“If you wanted the gym, I think someone’s using it already.”
“I didn’t want the gym,” Paige said. “I wanted to show you this.”
Paige pointed to a family of gold and purple tapestries hanging from the ceiling in front of the gym door like stalactites. Each banner immortalized the school records for different sports, and Paige quickly singled out the track and field banner. Lara could see why: the second-place time for the 40-meter dash was none other than Hank Spellmeyer.
“How’d you know this was here?” Lara asked. She reached up and stroked the fabric, and the memory of seeing it during her own school days came back to her. She’d half expected his record to be broken by now.
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