It takes me a moment to even register what she asked.
I know what she wants to hear. She wants me to say I want more. But the words won’t come out.
The last time I gave someone more, she ripped my heart out. All I can see in front of me is how much of a fool I was back then.
Grace wants more, but I can’t give it to her.
I pull away from her, forcing a smile on my lips and ignoring her question as I say, “I had a really good time today.”
Her eyes flash with something, and the shame of knowing she wants more but deliberately not giving it to her presses against my chest. She turns to leave without another word.
It’s a mistake to think I can keep her. I’m not going to give her what she needs.
The dry lightning turns to rain as I watch Grace walk away. The droplets are light at first, warm. I don’t do a damn thing to stop them from coming down as I unlock my car. It soaks into the thin cotton of my shirt, making it stick to my skin as I climb in and close the door.
She wants to be more than friends.
She wants a commitment, but she’s already talking about kids.
I’m fucking crazy for wanting her. But I can’t help it. I’m not stopping until I’m deep inside of her making her scream my name.
CHAPTER 17
Grace
* * *
I’M SITTING IN TRAFFIC, rubbing my temples. Traffic is nearly at a standstill. I could get out of my car, go get a cup of coffee, and come back to find that traffic hasn’t moved at all.
It’s been a long day. A long week, actually. I laugh a little to myself because it’s only Wednesday.
Jesus. I really need to unwind.
This past weekend… Charlie. My grip on the steering wheel tightens as I let out a strangled breath. What was I thinking? I’m playing with fire. He wants a good time. And that’s all I’ll be to him.
But a good time is starting to look real attractive to me.
The image of Mac’s Tavern comes to my mind, unbidden. Charlie, behind the bar. He’s wiping down the counter. He looks up at me, and smiles when he recognizes me. And then he starts taking off his shirt…
I giggle. The fantasy is sweet and innocent. A lot sweeter than my day has been, at any rate. The fantasy is also unrealistic... just like I’m being.
I chew on my lip. I wasn’t planning on going to Mac’s today, but… seeing Charlie would be nice. I feel good when I’m with him. There’s no label or commitment though, and that makes me feel like a damn fool. But at this rate, I couldn't care less about how it looks. I just want to be happy.
While I’m stuck in traffic, I manage to change out of my office attire, a gray pencil skirt and a white silk blouse. I pull a pale blue dress, strappy and knee-length, out of the back seat.
I get it on, trying not to make eye contact with the people in nearby cars. They’re getting a free show, but nothing more from me. My knee smacks against the steering wheel and I let out a sharp hiss. Dammit.
I have to shimmy the dress down over my ass and nearly hit the gas pedal, but I got it done.
I smile at myself in the rearview mirror and reach into my purse so I can put on some lipstick. A deep red, not my usual color, but it looks nice with the dress and brings out the blue in my eyes.
Not that I’m dressing up, or anything… I tell myself.
I turn off toward Mac’s when traffic lets me, and slowly make my way there.
The parking lot is nearly empty, but it doesn’t stop me from taking a peek inside. When I open the doors, it’s empty inside as well, the soft hum of the TV is the only sound. I turn around and check to see if there was a sign on the door. Maybe I missed that they’re not open somehow.
But no. There’s no sign. Just a big empty bar.
I walk across the floor, aiming for the back hallway that Charlie is always disappearing into. I bite my lip, knowing that I probably shouldn’t go back there. My heart’s beating faster at the prospect of being alone with him in his bar. It’s definitely marked “Employees Only” for a reason.
But the bar is empty. There’s no one to see me do it. I remember how he kissed me the other night, and that’s all I need to get my feet moving.
I navigate past the walk-in cooler and stockroom, poking my head inside each to make sure they’re empty. I continue back the hall, getting more and more nervous.
I find Charlie in a small office, leaning over a desk full of paperwork. For a second, I’m too shy to announce my presence, so I just stare. He’s nothing but trouble. But I knew that. Right from the beginning, I already knew it.
Charlie’s wearing dark jeans that probably mold perfectly to his ass, and a dark t-shirt that fits snugly over his hard pecs and abs. He’s hard at work, a pen in his mouth. I lick my lips nervously, strangely jealous of the pen.
The nerves start building when he doesn’t notice me, and I can’t take it. I clear my throat. “Ahem.”
Charlie looks up, surprised. “Hey,” he says, dropping the pen.
I smile gently, warmth flooding through me at the look in his eyes. “Hey. The bar is empty.” I lean against the doorframe, not looking away from him.
I don’t miss how his eyes travel down my body before he answers. “Yeah. There’s some free festival that’s going on downtown.” He shrugs. “I’m sure everyone is there.”
“Ah. Well, at least you’ve got one customer,” I say, feeling more and more naive. He’s busy. He’s working. And I came unannounced. But he didn’t tell me to leave.
My breath hitches when Charlie stands up. I try not to stare at him, at the way he moves toward me.
“Well, if I’ve only got one, at least you’re a pretty customer,” he teases, flashing a grin.
I can’t help but be dazzled by him. He’s so handsome, with his deep green eyes. I could get lost in those twin pools, swim deep below the surface of them. I already am lost. I know this is bad, but I can’t help myself.
I open my mouth, but nothing intelligible comes out. “I… uh…”
Charlie comes nearer. This close to me, I can see the desire in his eyes. It almost melts me where I stand.
“I was thinking…” he says, brushing a coppery lock of my hair back behind my ear. “About the other night, at the festival.”
His chest is almost touching mine now. I can feel a tingle of anticipation begin there, hardening my peaks.
“Oh?” I whisper breathily.
His big hand caresses my shoulders, warm fingers kneading my muscles. My eyelids flutter closed as he touches me. It’s all I can do not to moan.
“Mmmhm. I think you need to unwind,” he says. “You’re so tense all the time.”
“And you have an idea how I should unwind?” I say, opening my eyes. I already know what his idea is. I had the strength to walk away at the park… but like a moth to a flame, I came right back.
A wicked grin lights up his features. It makes my toes want to curl.
“I do. I think you just need to get laid.”
I suck in a breath, looking up at him. His eyes are searching mine, looking for an answer. Needing to see my submission.
“Yes,” I barely breathe the word.
The second the word is out of my mouth; his lips are on mine. He spears my hair with one hand, and puts his other hand on my lower back. He pulls me to his chest, and takes what he wants from my lips.
I press myself to him, molding us shoulder to hip, feeling the faint beginning of pleasure running through my heated blood. I’ve wanted him for days. He gives me a little of what I want with firm sweeps of his tongue against mine.
It’s not enough, though. It can never be enough with Charlie.
“More,” I demand, my voice rough.
Charlie picks me up, carrying me over to his desk. He knocks over a cup of pencils in his haste to settle me. I hear papers drifting to the floor, but I’m too wrapped up in him to look.
He fits himself between my legs, pulling down the straps of my dress. I'm busy trying to get
his t-shirt off. He finally growls and steps back, ripping the t-shirt over his head.
I run my hands all over his warm muscles, over his shoulders and down his back. I knew he’d feel like this. He pulls the top half of my dress down and nearly rips my white lace bra off.
I’m naked from the waist up, completely bared to him. My breathing comes in ragged. This is so wrong, but I don’t give a fuck anymore.
“Fuck,” he says, cupping my breasts with his hands. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Grace.”
He tweaks my nipples, sending sharp shocks of pleasure and pain straight to my clit and I gasp, thrusting my breasts deeper into his hands as my back arches.
“Yes,” I moan. “Fuck!”
He bends down to take my nipple in his mouth. I grip his head and groan, unable to process the sensation of his tongue on my flesh any other way.
He doesn’t stay at my breasts, though. He rucks up my skirt, revealing the white lace thong I’m wearing. He kneels and kisses my knee as he pulls down my panties, casting them aside.
I try to close my knees, but he tsks at me.
“Open your legs for me,” he commands, glancing up at me.
The hunger in his eyes is undeniable. I slowly part my thighs, holding his gaze. There’s something so erotic about it, something taboo.
Charlie pulls my ass to the edge of the desk, using a hand on my stomach to gently recline me. He trails kisses up the inside of my thighs raising goosebumps everywhere on my body.
His kisses reach my pussy, trailing down the seam. I shift in place as he uses two fingers to part my lips, glistening with my excitement.
He looks up at me, like a tiger looking at his prey. There’s a self-satisfied look on his face.
“You’re so wet for me,” he says. “That’s so fucking sexy.”
I blush. In the next heartbeat, Charlie kisses me right on my clit. It’s electrifying, the feel of his lips like hot lightning running through my whole body.
He flicks his tongue over my clit a few more times, each flick making my body spark with need, then he swirls his tongue over it. Finally, he seals his mouth over my clit and I cry out, my hands flying to his shoulders.
“Charlie! Fuck!”
He moans, the vibrations forcing my toes to curl, and he does it again and again. I close my eyes. I grip his shoulders, his hair. It feels so god damn good, I never want him to stop.
But before the heavy wave of my release crashes, he stops.
Charlie eases back from me, wiping his mouth. I open my eyes and look at him, wild-eyed. He chuckles as he stands up again.
“Relax, sweetheart,” he says. “I’m not done with you yet.”
I pull him to me, kissing him hungrily. He starts unbuttoning his jeans, pushing them down part of the way. I gasp and pull back; he’s freed his cock, and it's fucking massive. Long and thick, like two soda cans end to end.
I look him in the eye, awestruck. He smirks.
“You think I couldn’t back up my teasing?” he says.
I bite my lip and reach for his cock. I can’t close my fingers around his girth, that’s how big his dick is. Still, I caress him, feeling the warmth and steel of his cock beneath my fingers.
Mostly, I’m wondering how the hell he’s going to fit. I slide my hand down his length to cup his balls.
He makes a rough sound in his throat, but he seems more or less composed. I hear crinkling, then realize he’s unwrapping a condom. He kisses me, distracting me while he puts it on.
I lick my lips and almost remind him. The odds of me getting pregnant are slim to none. My throat starts to close with the emotions creeping up on me. All this bullshit that’s been making me so crazy is getting in the way of my happiness yet again.
But I won’t let it. I don’t have to tell him, and I’m not ruining this.
He takes his cock in his fist, and the sight of him touching himself gets me hotter than ever. He steps up to me, getting snug between my thighs and my heart beats faster. I part my legs wider as his cock pushes against my entrance. Even as wet as I am, he’s so big that there’s going to be some serious resistance.
I shiver, a chill running up and down my spine. Charlie brings his free hand up to fondle my breast as he begins to push inside. I moan as he fills me, stretches me, possesses every single inch of my pussy.
“Jesus Christ,” I whisper. My eyes close, and my head falls back at the sweet sting of him pushing himself steadily into me. “Fuckkkk.”
“Wait till I start to move,” I hear Charlie say in a lowered voice.
“Do it,” I beg, “fuck me, Charlie.”
He slowly withdraws, then thrusts into me, hard. My unintelligible groan speaks for me as he does it again. I grip the edge of the desk as a cold sweat breaks out over my skin and my body begs me to move.
“God damn,” he groans with pleasure. “Your pussy is so fucking tight, Grace. You’re strangling my dick.”
He begins moving in earnest now. His cock feels incredible, and he’s masterful with it. Fuck, it’s so good. His gaze on me should be uncomfortable, but it’s not. It’s the hottest god damn thing I’ve ever felt. His pace is steady, his stabs deep. Each hard pump of his hips makes my body jolt, and I struggle not to fall over the edge. Over and over, my body feels hotter and hotter as I climb higher and higher.
Still, I sense that he’s holding back, waiting for me to finish. I don’t want him to hold himself in check, though. I don’t want him to busy himself thinking of me. I want him unhinged, out of his mind with lust.
I hook my legs around him and pull his hips closer, moaning into the crook of his neck as he hits the back of my walls, a sinful mix of pain and pleasure. He grips my hips and hammers into me for a second, then pulls back and looks at me. I don’t even realize I’m not breathing until I let go of the exhale. It feels like something white hot is blooming inside me, something terrifying, but I fucking want it.
* * *
“YES,” I tell him. “Do it like that, Charlie.”
He kisses me hard, demanding more from me.
He lets loose, fucking me with crazed abandon. More papers fly off the desk, forgotten, but they’re in my periphery as my head thrashes. My body is on fire, my breasts lifting and tightening. I’m tense as a tightly wound coil, and only Charlie can release the spring.
I rock my hips against his brutal thrusts, yearning for more.
I can feel myself tighten around Charlie, and I think he can feel it, too. He pulls my knee up, increasing the pressure, making me hotter. Oh. My. God. I’m right on the edge, desperate to go over…
Just as I think I can’t, it’s too much, Charlie makes a low sound, rumbling through his chest. Suddenly I go over the edge, and I’m in free fall. I swear I see stars, thousands of stars of every color. My pussy spasms as I cling to him, burying my head against his neck. He rides me through my orgasm, ripping through me and only making the crash that much sweeter. My nails dig into his skin as his hot breath travels down my body.
He thrusts one final time, uttering a curse as he cums. I hold him, and cling to him as his legs shake for a second. He stills, then runs a hand down my back. We’re both out of breath, covered in each other’s sweat.
My heart pounds as I raise my head to look at him.
There really aren’t words that describe how amazing that was, so I try to put it in a kiss. It’s short; he breaks it to breathe, but his large hand cups the back of my head, and then he kisses me.
After another moment, he withdraws gently. I try to look like a person who has her shit together, as opposed to the gelatinous blob I feel like.
I wonder if sex is always like that for him. Wild, animalistic. Both people cumming together.
I’ve never had that before, not ever.
He kisses me again, cupping my cheek. Then he disposes of the condom and pulls his pants up. I pull up my dress, wiggling off the desk and slipping back into my thong. I can’t help that my eyes keep traveling to the condom. I feel like I’ve lied to
him. I feel like I betrayed myself.
I just want to be happy. I want to have it all.
Charlie smiles at me as he buttons up his jeans.
I’ve never settled for anything in my life. But I could settle with Charlie.
Even if it’s not the same for him. Even if it’s just a good time. I try to convince myself of that, but if it were true, then I wouldn’t feel this sick feeling in my gut.
CHAPTER 18
Charlie
* * *
“I NEED THE NEEDLE-NOSE,” Joseph’s voice snaps me back to the moment.
I clear my throat, feeling like a fucking pervert for getting lost in the memory of Grace’s sweet curves while I’m only a foot away from my brother-in-law.
The rusty toolbox sitting on top of the wooden workbench opens with a bit of protest, and I grab the pliers for him.
“Yeah, here you go.” I take a step back and let him finish up the job on the furnace. I got lucky that Cheryl married a mechanic. “Thanks for coming and doing this for me,” I tell him as I grab the six-pack we brought down then take a seat at the bench. I crack a can open, and the snap and fizz fill the silence. “I know you don’t have much time-”
“Shit,” he cuts me off, and his response has my ass right up out of the seat. But he’s fine; he tosses the pliers on the bench and wipes his hands on his jeans. “I was happy to get out of that house.”
He finally looks over to me before shutting the metal screen and flipping the switch back on. The furnace roars to life as he sags down into the seat next to me. “You ever hear of colic?” he asks as he reaches over and grabs the beer I offer him.
“Colic?” I have no fucking clue what he’s talking about.
“It means your baby cries… a lot.” I grimace and just keep drinking my beer. Joseph and I hit it off when he and Cheryl started dating. I never did like her previous boyfriends, but he treats her right. He’s a good fit for her. A good husband, and a good father. Even though he’s working his ass off while Cheryl’s out on maternity.
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