“Sandra was asking when we were going to be back in town again,” I say softly as he gets comfortable. He stiffens slightly.
“Is he gonna be there?” He asked, his voice hard.
“You know he is, Derek,” I answer him. My finger brushes along the cold side of the glass as I wait for him to respond.
He clenches his jaw and looks outside of the window to his right. “She was ready,” I dare to speak and try to convince him. “You told me yourself, you didn’t realize it until after everything happened, but she was telling you goodbye.” It’s hard to get out the words, but it breaks my heart to see him and Tony ruined over this. I know in my heart that Tony was only trying to give Derek’s mom peace.
Derek’s silent. I know he wants to get over this. I know he misses his friend. But right now all he has is sadness and anger. It’s something that’s just going to take time.
“Are you going to be okay?” I ask him. He looks down at his phone and back up to me. There’s a look on his face that lets me know he knows I was snooping. I’m fine with that though. I would’ve told him anyway. I can’t keep any secrets from him.
He's quiet for a minute before taking a deep breath. “I don't know,” he admits.
“I’m here for you. No matter what,” I tell him as I grab his hand.
“I don't deserve you,” he says quietly.
“Yes. You. Do.” I emphasize each word.
He doesn't answer me. I don't want him to continue going down this dark path.
Derek cups my face, and looks me in the eye. “I love you, Emma.” My heart swells in my chest. I already knew he did. But hearing him say it and knowing he’s admitted it to himself makes all the difference.
“I love you too, Derek.”
EPILOGUE
Derek
Nine months later
* * *
I STARE at the thin cardboard box on the kitchen counter. Inside is a beautiful cake. It's pink with a fondant bow. It’s for Sandra. Technically, it's for a little girl, Emma’s soon-to-be niece.
They’re coming over today, and I’m preparing myself. Every time they come over it gets easier and easier to fall back into the solid friendship I had with Tony before. But there’s still a part of me that hates him.
I fucking loved him. He was my brother in every way that mattered. I’m trying to come to terms with everything still.
I know Ma was ready. I know she wanted it. In some ways, I know it was best. But I’d be lying if I said I fully forgive him. Not yet at least. But when we’re together, it’s getting easier to forget.
“Derek.” I hear Emma’s soft voice as her small hand touches my arm.
I take in a long breath to calm myself and forget the past before pulling her into my arms. She lets me hold her. It’s all I need sometimes. Especially on the hard days.
She pulls away from me and looks into my eyes. “You gonna be alright?” she asks me.
“Yeah, I’ll get through it,” I tell her honestly. I’m ready to be a happy fucking family. I’m trying at least. Emma needs this. And for her, I would do anything.
Emma told me they’re naming her after Ma. It makes me…emotional. In a good way. In the best of ways, I guess. I hope Emma and I have a baby girl one day. I know I won’t be able to name her after Ma. So knowing that Tony is going to use her name makes me happy. It makes me really happy, honestly. I haven’t told him that yet though.
And they’re naming me godfather. Tony seems to think that one day, things will be back to the way they were. He said we’re family, and we’ll always be family. The last time I saw him, it was almost like normal. It’s fucked up in some ways. I feel like I should never forget. As if I should never forgive him. But deep down I know she was ready to go, and at least he had the balls to do what was right and help her go peacefully. I was the selfish one. I know that now.
I know it’s true, but some days I don’t want it to be true. I want him to take it back. I want my Ma to be here. But in reality she would have passed by now. The only difference is that she would have suffered more.
“It’s gonna be alright,” Emma says softly.
She pats my chest, and the sparkle from her engagement ring catches my eye. No matter what, he’s gonna be in my life, and a part of my family. Tony’s knocked up her sister, and I’m marrying Emma. So there’s no way of getting around it. I had the inside of her band engraved to read, Smile today without fear of tomorrow. Just like Ma always said. They're words I want us to try and live by from now on.
“I promise you.” Her hazel eyes plead with me to accept it. And I’m trying. I really am.
“Have I told you how much I love this kitchen?” she says not-so-subtly, to change the subject. I rest my forehead against hers, and give her another small kiss. One day, we will be alright, and things will be like they used to. But for now, I just need to grieve in my own way. And that means getting lost in my sweetheart’s touch.
We’ve been here for a few months now. Ever since she graduated. It’s close to downtown, which is where my restaurants are, and close to Emma’s new job. She doesn’t have to work. I’m only bringing in income from the legit businesses now that I quit dealing, but it’s more than enough.
She wants to work though. At least for now she does. Until I put a baby in her.
“You gonna take off next week like I asked?” I ask her.
“Yes,” she answers with a bit of skepticism in her voice. She’s always bringing home work.
We’re taking time off to visit the venue for the wedding. It’s a destination wedding, and I’m planning on taking advantage and making this a nice little vacation.
She keeps pushing back the date, and I know it’s because of Tony and me. I always pictured him by my side as my best man if I ever got married. And once things are better between us, I know he’ll be there for me.
She hugs me tight, taking my mind off of the things that keep me in the past, and reminding me of our future. I kiss her hair. I just need this. Just her. And I’ll be alright.
“I love you, Derek,” she whispers. I know she does. And I sure as fuck love her.
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
* * *
The End.
* * *
THANK you for reading Deepen The Kiss, a collection of books that I love! I hope you love these stories as much as I do!
Willow xx
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IF YOU’RE into something more suspenseful and sexier then you should really check out my Merciless Series. You’ll love this masterful and captivating series! I’m obsessed with it!
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SNEAK PEEK OF SECOND CHANCE
Nathan always had the most beautiful smile.
Every time I caught a glimpse of it, I had to smile too.
It didn’t matter that he grew up on the wrong side of the city, I saw the good in him… even when he didn’t.
* * *
That wasn’t enough to keep us together in high school though.
One night ruined everything. A night I’ll never forget.
* * *
Years have passed and now he’s on the cover of magazines and the star of movies.
The reformed bad boy with with a charming smile that mak
es women weak in the knees.
* * *
No one knows what happened that night that forced us apart. No one can ever know.
* * *
I can’t tell him no, even if I wanted to.
The moment he locked his light blue eyes on me again, I was ruined.
I never stood a chance.
* * *
This romance was originally released in the Expose series and titled Heartthrob. It has been retitled and republished so everyone can read this gripping romance once again.
PROLOGUE
Harlow
Ten years ago
April 12
* * *
THE RED, white, and bright blue lights reflect off the large glass windows of the liquor store. The sirens have stopped. I swear they were only screaming in my ear for a split second. They were loud enough to make my heart leap into my throat and send fear flowing freely through my blood.
They were silenced quickly, as if turned on by mistake.
I swear it was all an accident.
“Nathan.” I say his name weakly, searching his cold gaze as I grip his wrists. My nails dig in as my throat goes dry. He doesn’t answer me, doesn’t give me a minute to ask questions. He merely blocks me from the view of the police car pulling up to the curb. His back is to the cops and he doesn’t turn to face them, even as the sound of the cruiser’s window rolling down drowns out the sound of my blood rushing in my ears.
Nathan leans closer to me as my shoulder and ass hit the unyielding wall of the liquor store. His dark eyes look even darker and the lack of any emotion on his face forces my plea for him to tell me how to make this right to catch in my throat. “Don’t say a word,” he hisses in my ear.
One second, one beat of my heart passes feeling caught in an eternity as I look up into the eyes of the boy I thought I loved. The boy I thought loved me back. “Don’t be stupid, Hally,” he says low, beneath his breath.
But I never really knew him, did I?
The boy I knew wasn’t capable of this.
But it was only an accident.
“Nathan, we have to-” I try to speak, but the words are silenced as he narrows his eyes. The shadows from the dim street lights make the sharp lines of his jaw look even more intense.
“You two alright?” I hear a man say from behind us, but my eyes don’t break away from Nathan’s. It’s the cops. So close. So close to knowing everything that just happened only minutes ago.
Nathan’s the first to break. He lets go of my forearm and turns his back to me, leaving the chill of the night to turn the thin sheen of sweat on my skin to ice. I wrap my arms around my chest and as I do, I see a small bit of blood on my arm and then more. Just a large scrape I think, but I’m quick to hide it. As fast as I can, I pull the thin sleeves of my sweater down my arms. It’s evidence.
“We’re fine,” Nathan says, although I almost don’t hear him. My heart beats harder and faster; I’m desperate to escape as I stand on legs that quiver, legs too afraid to do anything.
“And you, miss?” the cop says as a bright light flashes in front of me. The sudden light causes me to wince and then look up at him. The dark blue of his uniform looks black in the low light. The man is older with salt and pepper hair, and looks experienced and wise enough to know a lie. I don’t trust my voice, so I simply nod and almost cross my arms again, but then I remember the blood and my fingers grip the hem of my sweater to keep my arms at my sides.
“You two look a little young to be out here,” the cop says, his eyes flickering from mine to Nathan’s.
We’re in high school. Nathan’s a year older than me and a senior this year.
“Are you from around here?” the cop asks and I’m not sure who he’s talking to, but Nathan answers for us both.
His thin Henley pulls tight over his broad shoulders as he points his thumb behind him. “She’s from the Hills and I’m down here.”
The cop’s jaw goes tense, his eyes burning into me but I don’t look back at him.
I’m not supposed to be here. I hear it before the words even come from his mouth.
I ignore everything that the cop says; I’m not interested in being told where I belong. The only thing I can concentrate on is my ability to breathe. I feel like I’m being suffocated. If I had just listened, none of this would have happened. I already know it’s true and that makes the guilt so much worse.
“Can you take her home?” I hear Nathan ask and it’s as if that’s what they were waiting for. How could he? After what just happened, I’m shaking and fear is still raw and coursing through my blood. How could he leave me after that? Tears prick my eyes as I will him to justify it.
But I already know the answer; it’s my fault. I should have stuck to my usual routine and not taken the wrong way home. The way that leads to nothing but trouble.
I don’t care though. I’m scared. I can’t leave him; I can’t be by myself. I try to scream out, I try to grip his arm, but he whips around before I can do a damn thing and the heat in his eyes is something I never expected to see.
The anger. So much anger.
“I didn’t mean it,” I whimper out of instinct and then pray the cops didn’t hear. Please. He has to know I never wanted this. I never knew it would come to this. Please. Please, God, let me take it back. “I’m sorry.” The words crack as I say them.
“I already told you we were over,” Nathan says in such a deep voice, rough and riddled with accusations. The guilt pounds through my veins, heating my blood and sending a shame through me that makes me sick.
“We have to …” I start to tell him we need to confess. We have to tell the cops what happened.
“We don’t have to do a damn thing and you better not say shit,” Nathan says with a thinly-veiled threat. “Get in that car,” Nathan says with certainty and conviction, and I lose all sense of composure.
“Don’t ever come back, Hally,” Nathan says as I cover my mouth and keep the sobs from coming up. “I won’t tell you again,” he says beneath his breath, ignoring how my world is shattered and my body just wants to collapse and give in to the pain.
I didn’t mean for this to happen. If I could just go back in time.
The night is disturbed by the slam of the police car door and a second officer gets out of the car, stopping Nathan as he tries to leave. I can barely hear what they’re saying and I try to go to him. I will my legs to move, but the first officer is quick to grab my arm. I rip it away from him and stumble back, tripping over my feet and nearly falling as I look up at him, bewildered.
“It’s alright,” the cop says easily, just now realizing how startled I am and I can’t help but notice the look he gives Nathan as if he’s to blame. He has no idea.
“I need you to come with me,” the officer says with a stern voice, no negotiation apparent in his tone. As if he already knows the truth.
Nathan turns to look back at me, but his jaw is clenched and the other officer is quick to get his attention again. Speaking low, in whispers, so I can’t hear. I can only see Nathan shake his head.
I stare at Nathan as the officer talks, willing him to look at me as I’m pulled away from the street. I can’t hear a word, not from the officer leading me away and not from the officer speaking to Nathan. My shoes click on the sidewalk, the cold night air making each breath hurt more and more.
It’s almost like everything’s happening in slow motion. It seems to last an eternity. Each detail captured clearly.
With every second that passed, I could have said something. With every second I could have apologized.
But before I knew it, he was walking away, and I was being driven in the opposite direction.
I stare out of the window, tears burning my eyes as he disappears from view. The dark night only illuminated by a street light and the bright neon glow of a bar. I keep my eyes on the cracked concrete sidewalk rather than look up at the people leaning against the brick wall of the building as we slowly come to a stop at a red light.
“Are you alright, miss?” the cop asks me again, turning in his seat to face me, but I don’t have the decency to look him in the eyes as I lie.
No. I’m not okay. I’ll never be okay.
But no one can know.
IT WAS ten years ago and although that night should have traumatized me for an entirely different reason, the fact that I listened to Nathan and didn’t come forward is what haunts me.
It’s a funny thing, fate. Life goes on day after day and I didn’t notice how all the pieces were lining up like dominoes. I tried to smile as the weeks turned into months and months turned into years, thinking I’d left my past behind me. I thought I knew what was going on around me. I thought I’d survived and had a new life, with the truth of that night being buried ten feet under.
But fate put me where I’m standing right now.
Fate’s the reason the dominoes are falling, crashing into my reality and leaving me shattered.
It’s so easy to blame fate. But I don’t have any other explanation.
Nathan didn’t plan this, and neither did I.
It’s a funny thing, fate. It loves to fuck you over.
CHAPTER 1
Harlow
* * *
“HOLY SHIT,” I say, the words slipping out under my breath. I barely hear them myself. I swallow thickly and then wipe my sweaty palms on my plum pencil skirt. A gust of wind blowing along East Fifty-fifth Street causes my loose cream blouse to billow and sends a chill down my heated skin.
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