Scarred (Bullied Book 5) (Bullied Series)

by Vera Hollins

  I gripped the steering wheel. So tired. “Do you miss Mom?”

  Silence ensued. “What kind of question is that?” He sounded guarded.

  “The simplest kind. The one that hopefully comes with an answer that says ‘I miss her a lot.’”

  “Meli, your mother and I—You know it didn’t work. You know we weren’t happy.”

  I stopped at a red light. “Are you seeing someone else?”

  “What? No. Where is this coming from?”

  “Because the only thing that’s worse than you being separated is you two seeing someone else.”

  His sigh was long and heavy. “You know that may happen sooner or later. Your mother and I deserve happiness, and if we can achieve it with other partners—”

  “Don’t bullshit me, Dad.”

  “Watch your language, Melissa.” His stern tone demanded obedience.

  The light turned green, and I floored the gas pedal. “No. I don’t agree with that. I don’t care how selfish I am. You vowed eternal love at your wedding, and now you’re talking about new partners? Where’s that eternal love? Where are those vows of eternal shit now?”

  “That’s life. It’s unpredictable, and you can’t control it. You’ll understand it when you’re older.”

  I clenched my jaw tightly. I hated when they pulled that “When you’re older” card, like they were so smart just because they were older and we, teenagers, didn’t know a damn thing.

  “Yes, you can control it,” I said.

  “No, you can’t. The way you think may completely change ten years from now. And that’s normal. People grow. Change. Life changes. No one stays the same. The problem with your mother and me is that we changed, but separately. We didn’t change together, and by the time we realized we were different people, the gap was too big for us to cross. I wish you could understand that.”

  I pulled into the parking lot adjacent to the retirement home, feeling exhausted just talking to him. It felt like we would never find a common language. So, so tired.

  “Whatever you say, Dad. Look, I gotta go now. Love ya.”

  I ended the call and rested my head against the seat, closing my eyes. I hit the steering wheel with my fist, wishing I could just go home and go a few rounds with my punching bag. I was sick of feeling this emotional pain.

  I knew people changed. I knew one day you could love someone and the next hate them so much you wished they’d be wiped off the face of the Earth. But then, what was the point of promising forever? Why did we all talk about forever if we couldn’t stick to it? If humans were so inconsistent and unpredictable, was there even a point to that concept?

  I would never fall in love. It was scary, fickle, and volatile. It was uncontrollable. And I was terrified of the things I couldn’t control. My past had taught me that well. Once, I’d been ready to give my heart to someone, and he’d only used my lack of experience with people to destroy my life. I couldn’t trust guys. I couldn’t trust myself not to completely fall apart if I were stupid enough to fall for someone again.

  “I hate you, too! I wish I’ve never met you!”

  I opened my eyes and cursed Masen for lingering in my mind too often and for too long.

  I was better than this. I was a warrior, and I would win against anyone who wanted to put me down. So, sooner or later, I was going to win against him, too.

  I would have him out of my mind in no time.

  Mr. J. and I had reached a mutual agreement, it seemed: Mateo and Shreya should be together.

  The means of achieving that? Mr. J.’s chess set.

  Mateo sat across from Shreya in the sitting room, hovering over the chess board with the biggest frown I’d ever seen on his face, and it was like he was thinking of one hundred ways to kill someone instead of the ways to play his next move. Shreya, on the other hand, was the picture of innocence and sweetness. Her shiny brown eyes darted up from the chess board to Mateo whenever he wasn’t looking her way, and I almost rubbed my hands together in satisfaction.

  She was wearing a sweet dress that would make all the mothers want her for their sons, and her long, thick hair cascaded in perfectly styled waves around her shoulders. I wondered how she managed to pull it off. It was raining cats and dogs outside, but she looked as though she’d come straight out of a hair, clothing, and shoes commercial. Compared to her, I was a Polish chicken. My hair was all over the place, and my boots were coated in enough mud to form a small planet, creating a look of level-seven disaster. She must be using magic. There was no other explanation.

  Mr. J. was beside them with his gaze on the chess board, his finger resting against his lips as he mused on something. Adelaine was seated next to him, totally focused on her phone, undoubtedly playing her favorite game, Angry Birds. I skipped over and saluted them.

  “Shreya, darling.” I nodded at her and grinned knowingly at Mateo. “Mateo, my man. You’re here yet again. It seems you’re coming here more often these days, eh?”

  He shot me a scowl that I expected was supposed to make me die a most painful death. “I only came here because Grandpa claimed he was out of his diabetes pills, and I had to rush to bring them to him.” He transferred his scowl onto Mr. J. “But then he told me only after I’d arrived that he wasn’t actually out of his pills.”

  Mr. J. didn’t show the slightest remorse, shrugging his shoulders. “Mistakes are bound to happen when you’re seventy-nine, young man. I’d like to see how perfect you are when you reach this age.”

  I cackled. Yeah, right. This man could be one hundred seventy-nine, and his memory would still be sharper than Mateo’s and mine combined.

  “Are you okay, sweetie?” Adelaine asked me, studying my soaked clothes.

  Mr. J.’s disapproving gaze took me in. “You look as though you waged a battle trying to get here.”

  I raised my finger in the air. “Exactly! I’ve been fighting alongside my army of ten thousand soldiers, and we managed to break through after ten days and countless losses.”

  Adelaine and Shreya giggled, while Mr. J. scoffed. “I see your rhetorical skills haven’t improved in the slightest,” he said. “I’m getting a headache listening to your mumbling.”

  I sat on the only remaining chair, next to Shreya. “You know you’d miss my mumbling if I were, say, to go on a pilgrimage. You would call me across the world just to hear my voice!”

  Mr. J. looked at me, then at Mateo, as if asking him if I was mentally ill.

  “Just bear with it, Grandpa,” Mateo said. “If you do, she’ll shut up more quickly.” He winked at me, but I kicked him under the table. “Ouch! I was just joking!” He rubbed the spot I’d hit. “Jesus.”

  “Let’s leave the kids alone,” Mr. J. said to Adelaine, and they left the room.

  Mateo’s smile fell as he glanced at Shreya. It was as clear as day he wasn’t happy about having to spend time with her, and I wished I knew why. Why was he so stuck on Sarah? Why couldn’t he give anyone a chance?

  He noticed me looking at him, and he raised his eyebrow in question, but I just grinned at him and said, “Don’t mind me. Keep playing.”

  “So, how long have you been playing chess?” Shreya asked him as she made her move.

  “Since I was seven. I wanted to play with Transformers, but Grandpa wanted me to learn chess, so I spent many hours playing with him until it kind of grew on me,” he answered in a disinterested tone of voice, and I couldn’t stop myself from grimacing.

  I remembered him from his “glory” days of flirting with girls. He could sound charming and seductive when he wanted to, and they would drop at his feet. Hell, he could just snap his fingers, and they would line up to be his next conquest. When he talked with Shreya, though, he sounded as if he cared more about mowing his lawn than putting any effort into talking with her. Before, when he’d met Sarah, she was all he could see, think, and talk about. Our own friendship was established on us talking about her 90% of the time.

  Would it be too much to hope Shreya could me
nd his squashed heart?

  “I also played with Transformers when I was a kid,” Shreya said too enthusiastically, clutching at straws to keep this conversation going, but Mateo didn’t seem impressed by it one bit.

  “Really? Nice.”

  I grimaced again and coughed quickly to hide it. Geez, he was stubborn.

  “Of course it’s nice!” I hurried to say when an insecure expression took over Shreya’s features. It seemed she might be slowly getting over Masen and reviving her old crush on Mateo, but what was the point if Mateo was going to be like a glacier whenever he was next to her?

  Okay, it was time to bring out the big guns—Mateo’s hobbies. “I bet you also like skiing, hiking, and sports?” I asked her.

  She nodded with even more enthusiasm. “Yes! My dad used to take me skiing a lot when I was a kid, and I love all sports.”

  “Are you sure? You don’t look so athletic to me,” Mateo said, barely audible, so only I could hear him.

  She smiled. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”

  “He said it’s so rare to find a girl who’s so compatible with him,” I said through my forced grin and sent a scorching glare at Mateo. He didn’t even flinch, looking completely detached.

  I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and typed him a text.

  “I’m going to beat you with the chancla your abuelita used if you don’t start behaving like the civilized man a maiden like Shreya deserves.”

  He checked his phone and frowned at my text.

  “How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t want to hook up with your friend.”

  “But why not? She’s a perfect choice.”

  “For you, maybe.”

  “Would it kill you to give her a chance? Just one. ONE.”

  “Have you considered the possibility that I don’t want to date anyone?”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Come on. Just this one time. Try, and ask her out. I’ll owe you forever.”

  He didn’t bother texting me back. He just let out a heavy sigh and pocketed his phone. I tsked.

  I spotted Sar talking to one of the elders across the room, and I went to join her. Maybe Mateo would change his tune once he and Shreya were alone.

  I flopped down on the chair next to her, crossing my arms.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  I pouted. “A dozen pigeons pooped on my shoulders.”

  Her chuckle was rich with disbelief. “Really? Those are some nasty pigeons.”

  “Not more than that stubborn fool over there.” I motioned with my chin at Mateo and Shreya.

  “I noticed they were spending more time together. What’s that about?”

  “It’s not what you think. It’s just that Mr. J. and I are trying to bring them together because they’re so perfect for each other. Only they don’t know it yet.” I grumbled out the last words.

  She frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Long story short, Shreya is pining away after Barbie. Mateo is pining away after you. So, I concocted the most perfect plan in the universe—make them fall for each other!” I grinned at her. “It’s perfect, right?”

  She held my gaze for a long time. Ultimately, she shook her head, and her lips shaped in a disapproving line. “Mel, why are you matchmaking again? You know you can’t force them to like each other.”

  I jutted my chin forward. “Nonsense! I’m sure they will realize their true, deepest feelings in no time! And I’m not forcing them. I’m just helping them find the right path to their happily ever after.”

  She sighed. “You did the same thing with Mateo and me, remember? And you tried to bring Jess and Kevin together, too. And how did all of that work out?”

  I crossed my arms, looking away stubbornly. “Well. Mistakes happen sometimes . . . But this time I really feel as though there could be something magical, something out of this world, something unbelievably wonderful between Mateo and Shreya. I can feel it!”

  Her only reply was another shake of her head.

  “Keep shaking your head and it will fall off your shoulders.”

  “You can’t force someone’s feelings, so let them be.”

  I clicked my tongue. “Wanna bet that they’re going to fall for each other sooner or later?”

  “Whatever, Mel. I’m going to see if anyone needs anything.” She stood up and walked out of the room.

  I looked at Shreya and Mateo. Her gaze was on the chessboard, while Mateo’s was on her, and I bit my lip with anticipation. A scowl was plastered on his face, but at least he wasn’t completely ignoring her, which had to count for something.

  Unless he was plotting to kill her in a thousand and one ways.

  As if he’d sensed me watching him, he met my gaze. He reached for his phone and typed something. My phone buzzed.

  “Fine. I’ll ask her out one of these days. Happy now?”

  I cocked my eyebrow and quickly texted him back.

  “Pinky swear? Because you agreed to that a little too easily.”

  “Don’t push it.”

  I guessed this would have to suffice.

  “Okay, then.”

  “Good. Now stop staring and do something productive. Like NOT matchmaking.”

  “I can be productive. Like coming up with names for your future children.”

  He rolled his eyes and returned his phone to his pocket, looking none too happy.

  I thought about Sarah’s words, along with what Steven had said to me about me controlling him, and it sent new needles of pain right through my heart, reminding me of all my mistakes and flaws. I wanted control at the price of my friends’ happiness, because I always knew best, right? I always knew how they should live and what they should do, and if they did something that went against my vision of their perfect life . . .

  I drew in a deep breath, staring at my nails, bitten to the quick.

  “Do you know how many times Steven complained to me about you? He said you were suffocating him. You never tried to understand him. You tried to control him, just like your mom did.”

  I shook my head to shove Masen’s voice away, but it stubbornly seeped deeper into my mind, and I couldn’t get rid of it.

  Okay, so I was meddling in other people’s business a lot and I could be too controlling—Steven’s death had taught me that more than enough—but it was so hard to tone it down when I wanted them to be happy so badly.

  But this wasn’t the way, obviously.

  Shit. I was being a terrible friend.

  This was the last time, I promised myself. The last time I tried to interfere. I could be a better person—not that I wasn’t already perfect—but still. I wasn’t going to be my friends’ pain in the ass. From now on, I was going to respect their wishes.

  The rain returned on Sunday, choosing the exact moment when I started off for Eli’s house, proving the weather forecast wrong once again. I snatched my shades off and dropped them on the passenger seat, watching the trees lining the sidewalks sway under the strong currents of wind. The rain began to drizzle, but quickly turned into a downpour, and the clouds colored the sky in angry hues of black and gray. I had to drive at the speed of a snail, hardly seeing anything through the curtain of rain.

  “The apocalypse is coming any moment now,” I muttered as I parked in Eli’s driveway after a drive that felt as though it had taken forever, and briskly shut off the car. “At this point, we’ll all have to evacuate to another galaxy.”

  Masen’s car was nowhere in sight, which was like the only positive thing in this situation, but I still felt a heavy tug in my stomach that made no sense.

  With a frown, I jumped out of my car and ducked my head, covering it with my jacket as I rushed by their minivan to their house. I darted inside the moment Eli opened the door, already wet and shivering with cold.

  “Geez! This weather is crazy!” I removed my drenched jacket from my head, leaving a puddle of water on the floor. “Sorry about the mess.”

  Something cr
ashed outside, and I turned to see a large branch lying next to a car in the driveway across the street. The treetops tossed back and forth in the wind, which promised more damage to come, and I hoped my car wouldn’t take a hit. Lightning flashed across the darkened sky, and only seconds later, thunder cracked in the distance. Just wonderful.

  Eli closed the door. He looked unusually pale and nervous.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “It’s Pigi. The tree above his house is old, and some of the branches are already broken. I’m scared that his house won’t be able to hold out against the storm, and he’ll get hurt. Mawar left a few hours ago, so there’s no one to help him.”

  Shit.

  “Say no more!” I flexed my bicep. “I’ll go and bring him inside, okay?”

  He nodded, gnawing at his lip. “Okay. His carrier is there.” He pointed at the gray, plastic animal carrier in the corner. “Just put him in it and bring him here.”

  “Roger that!” I grabbed the carrier and rushed outside.

  A powerful shudder rocked my body as I stepped under the strong current of rain and looked at Pigi’s house. I was totally wet in three seconds flat. The branches above his pen were swaying dangerously, and it looked as though they would snap at any moment. I ran across the yard, worried about the little creature who was completely defenseless against the cruelty of nature.

  A flying branch nearly slammed into my face, but I managed to avoid it at the last possible moment, jumping to the side, only to lose my footing on the slippery ground. I almost ended up on all fours, barely managing to catch myself. I picked up the carrier I’d dropped and continued my sprint.

  “Message to the weather, trees, and all things nature!” I shouted as lightning struck again, pushing away the strands of hair that had whipped into my eyes. “Stop trying to sabotage my rescue!”

  I skidded to a halt and kneeled, snapping the pen’s door open. Supporting myself on one hand, I lowered my head close to the ground as I peered inside his house. There he was, standing on all fours in the corner with his eyes wide open and ears pointed straight up, and my heart clenched hard with a strong urge to protect him. The thunder blasted, and he thumped his back feet against the ground, observing me like I was his enemy numero uno.