by Vera Hollins
Last night, he’d healed a part of me and helped me start to feel whole again, but was I really ready for more? Did I even want to try that with him?
My fingers hovered over the keyboard. My pulse was a loud pounding in my ears as I stared at the blank screen.
I typed “I don’t want to,” but then I erased it. I typed it again and almost sent it, but I deleted it again and tossed my phone on the passenger seat, then steered my car back onto the road. I was on the fence, divided between fear and want, and it was like one wrong step could send me right back to hell.
“Stupid crushes and stupid boys. Life is so much easier without all that drama.” I parked my car near the Mexican restaurant where I was going to meet Mateo. I narrowed my eyes at my phone like it was my enemy. “What am I going to do with you, huh?”
Shaking my head, I stuffed my phone in my pocket and got out. Maybe eating dinner would help clear my mind so I could answer him later.
Mateo was already waiting for me in the restaurant. He wore a tight shirt and black jeans, looking like every girl’s dream come true. It was no wonder some girls openly stared at him with wistful looks and dreamy eyes.
“You clean up well.” I slid into the seat across from him. “Making sure you give Shreya something hot to look at?”
He smiled, and unlike before, it wasn’t a weak smile or fake. It was the way he’d smiled before he’d been with Sarah, and I wasn’t even sure if he was aware of it. The transformation of the century. No, not the century. Of the eon.
He was going out with Shreya later, and while he acted as though they were just testing the waters, it was impossible to miss that his eyes lacked the dull look they had had all these months. By some miraculous twist of fate, he was seeing Shreya in a new light. I wanted to throw a fiesta in celebration.
“I didn’t do anything special.”
“Yeah, right. I bet you spent hours in front of the mirror trying to tame those curls.” I pointed at his glossy hair.
He only shrugged, which confirmed my suspicions. The waitress came to take our orders, and I ordered the veggie lasagna, which was one of the best in town.
“I wonder what’s changed,” I said once the waitress left. “Did she finally conquer you with her beauty? Or was it her charm? Or maybe that cute, innocent smile that could melt even the most solidly frozen of hearts?”
His gaze narrowed. “I could ask you the same thing, Miss Nosy. You look different. Why?”
I straightened myself up. “What do you mean? I don’t look different. Okay, maybe I do because I over-plucked my eyebrows this morning, but that’s it.”
His lips curled into a knowing smile. “Really? That’s all?”
I nodded vigorously. “Absolutely. There’s nothing different about me. Nuh-uh.”
“Then why are you smiling all the time now?”
I grew motionless. He was right. Even now, I had a smile on my face. The hell?
Date. Masen has asked me on a date.
I willed my mouth into a straight line. “I’m not smiling anymore. You see?”
“Your eyes are sparkling.” He pointed at them. Shit.
“Just like yours,” I said to create a diversion. “In fact, they’re so sparkling they’re going to blind me!”
His brow arched. “Really, now?” He chuckled. “You’re strange tonight.”
Date, date, date.
“When am I not?”
The waitress brought our orders and checked out Mateo none too subtly. “Here you go,” she said with a smile as she placed the plates on our table.
I observed the scene with amusement. I waited for her to leave before I said, “Shreya is going to have her hands full with you. She’s going to need to learn martial arts just to defend you from all your fans.”
“It’s not that serious.”
“Uh-huh. Then you obviously don’t know the effect you have on girls.”
He gave me a half-smile that fell the moment he noticed something behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see what he was looking at and spotted none other than Masen, Hayden, and Blake enter the restaurant. My heart kicked into overdrive. I hadn’t even texted Masen back yet!
I felt the urge to hide, undeniably embarrassed by last night and this “date” business, but there was no way I would do that. Instead, I studied him openly as he walked inside.
He carried himself with his usual over-confidence, dressed in washed-out jeans and a red T-shirt that hugged his toned body tightly. He looked like a true model on a runaway. He was even hotter than usual, and the girls all around the restaurant noticed him. I wanted to punch every one of them for looking at him as jealousy ate away at my stomach.
Speaking of the effect one had on girls . . .
Repeat to yourself: he’s not ridiculously handsome, he’s not ridiculously handsome.
Masen’s gaze found its way to mine, and a jolt rushed through my chest. His initial surprise ebbed into a darkly alluring gaze paired with a sexy smile, and I knew he was thinking about the same thing as me—last night. But then his eyes drifted over my shoulder to Mateo, and his gaze narrowed. A flash of possessiveness darkened his eyes even further.
I could practically feel the chill coming from Mateo as he stared daggers at Hayden. Hayden, on the other hand, returned his gaze with a blank face.
They headed our way, and I gave Mateo a warning look. “Let’s not start a war here, okay? Remember, peace on earth?”
His lips twisted with a sour smile. “Of course. We don’t want to cause trouble with your new pals.” He spat out that last word like it was contagious, and I scowled at him.
“Hey,” Hayden said to me when they stopped next to our table. He nodded to Mateo. “Diaz.”
Now, I’ll be damned.
Mateo’s jaw tightened, and he nodded back. “Black.”
At least they weren’t spoiling for a fight, so I guess they were making progress?
Masen tore his gaze from Mateo to look at me. “Satan. Having a nice time with your”—he looked at Mateo again, and animosity broke through his calm mask for a split second—“friend?”
A huge smile popped out on my face. Someone was obviously jealous, and I was enjoying every second of it. “Actually, yes, Barbie. We’re having a blast here.”
His eyes hooded, and a dangerous smirk played across his lips. “Just like you and I had last night?”
My smile froze on my face. I could see Mateo gaping at me out of the corner of my eye.
“Last night? What happened last night?” Mateo asked me. His scowl grew gigantic in size, matching the one I sent Masen’s way, because he was clearly staking some claim here.
Blake gave Hayden a telling look. “I think we should leave them to sort it out.”
“More like start a nuclear war,” Hayden replied with no inflection in his voice. He headed for one of the booths in the corner.
“See you around,” Blake told us with a smirk and went after Hayden.
Masen gave Mateo a cold stare as he leaned against the table. “Just make sure you keep your hands to yourself.”
Is he for real?
Mateo glared at him. “What are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about. We’re cool so long as you don’t cross the friend line.”
My lips twitched, desperately wanting to curl into a smile.
What the hell? What was happening to me? I wasn’t supposed to enjoy this primitive, macho display of jealousy, but I was, which meant I’d probably lost all my brain cells somewhere along the way.
I cleared my throat. “Okay, Barbie, stop marking territory you don’t even own. And do you want me to spell it out for you? Mateo is just a friend. F-R-I-E-N-D.”
His eyes hooded. “How about you spell out for me your answer?”
I tilted my head to the side. “My answer?”
“Yes. Your answer. To the question I asked you earlier.”
The room grew hotter by several degrees. Under ordinary circumstances, I’d
be annoyed that he’d asked this in front of Mateo, but after last night, all I could feel was excitement.
Yep, all my brain cells were gone. Lost forever.
“I don’t have one,” I said and glanced at Mateo. He was glowering—nothing surprising there.
“Why not?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Because . . .”
“Because what?”
I cast another glance at Mateo. I didn’t want to talk about this in front of him. “Because I don’t know what to answer, okay?”
I expected him to push this subject, but he must’ve heard the desperation in my voice, because he straightened up and gave me a casual smile.
“Let’s see if we can change that,” he said and left to join Blake and Hayden. He sat down facing me, and I frowned. What did he mean by that?
The waitress went to take their orders with a smile that would make the Cheshire Cat envious. My stomach stirred unpleasantly yet again. It was like she was on a mission to flirt with all good-looking customers.
He’s mine, I thought and imagined telling her that, but then I froze. I was shocked by my very own possessiveness. It seemed Masen wasn’t the only one with the urge to mark territory. Fuck.
I tugged at the collar of my T-shirt. The scratchy material only added to my anxiety.
Mateo wouldn’t stop staring at me, and I scowled at him. “What?”
“What’s going on between you and Masen Brown?”
I drummed my fingers on the table. “Honestly? I don’t know.”
His mouth went agape. “You don’t know? What’s that supposed to mean? Have you two—? You know?”
I gave him one of my biggest scowls ever. “Hell, no. I have not slept with Masen. Nope.”
“Then what happened?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Complicated, huh.” He stared at the table. “I just don’t get it. What’s so special about him? What’s so special about any of them?” He motioned with his head to Masen, Hayden, and Blake. “They’re abusive pricks, Mel. Is that what’s in style with girls this year?”
I frowned. “Okay, knock it off. You’re not making this any easier.” I ran my hand through my hair and let out a long sigh. I thought about what Sarah had told me yesterday. I thought about that big gray area that held the roots of my past with Masen. If I kept denying Masen’s good side and refused to see him as redeemable, I might miss out on my happiness. Yes, I had no control over these feelings that were crushing my chest more and more, but I’d been out of control for a while now and I’d survived just fine.
“Look, I get you completely, and I don’t blame you, because I was just like you. I used to criticize Sar and Jess all the time for falling for those guys. But—and I never thought I would say that my dad was right—life changes. We change. I changed.” I looked at Masen and found him already looking at me. My breathing paused. “Masen changed,” I added quietly.
Mateo’s look was dubious. “He changed? How?”
I folded my arms across my chest. “He’s less of a douchebag, okay? He’s actually decent when he wants to be, and as much as I hated him . . . I just don’t hate him anymore.”
Mateo observed me for a long time. “So, what now? You’re going to hook up with him?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “Go on. Make me feel bad about it. Tell me I’m an idiot for falling for that guy.”
His lips quirked in a small smile. “Of course I won’t tell you that, dummy. Besides, you’ve been smiling more lately, so I guess it’s not all that bad. It’s your choice, so all I’m going to say is be careful and . . . I’m glad you’re happy.”
I bit my lip, but a gigantic smile broke out on my face anyway. “Aww, shush. You’re getting too sappy.” I took a bite of my lasagna. “And they really have changed. I mean, they’re still obnoxious fools who are sometimes too arrogant for their own good, but they’re not that bad anymore.”
He glanced over his shoulder at Masen’s table with a snort. “I find that hard to believe.”
I looked at Masen, who was typing something on his phone. “I know. There are times when I also feel that way. Like, it’s so surreal. But it’s true.”
“As long as they treat you, Sarah, and Jessica well.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket. “They do. And you know me. I’ll be the first to kick their asses if they don’t.”
He chuckled. “I don’t doubt that at all.” He dug into his food.
I pulled out my phone and unlocked it. Masen’s text was waiting for me.
“I keep thinking about last night.”
Something flickered deep in me, and I met Masen’s gaze. It was darkened with desire. I shifted in my seat.
“What are you talking about? I don’t remember anything special about last night.”
He smiled when he read the message and cocked his eyebrow as he looked at me. “Liar,” he mouthed and typed a new message.
“You want me to remind you? Make you come all over again?”
The temperature in the room skyrocketed, and I was sure my thoughts were plainly visible on my face. I glanced covertly at Mateo. He was focused on his food. Good.
“Hello? I’m eating here. I don’t need your usual grossness right now.”
“You didn’t think I was gross last night.”
“I have amnesia, so I don’t remember a thing.”
He made a devilish smirk. I flipped him off, but he was already looking at his phone, typing his next message.
“That’s not a problem. I can remind you about every single detail. You were so we—”
I snapped my eyes up to Mateo, strangely embarrassed to read the rest of Masen’s message in front of him.
He raised his brows at me. “You’re acting weird. Are you texting with him?” He motioned with his head to Masen.
Was I that transparent?
“Nope. I’m texting Jabba the Hutt.”
Now I was even more transparent. Good job, Melissa. You’re really nailing it these days.
He arched one eyebrow. “Riiight. It’s strange.”
“What’s strange?”
“Seeing you like this. Blushing and acting all shy.”
“I’m not shy!”
“I know. That’s why I’m saying it’s strange. But it’s cute.”
I grimaced at him. “Cute? Eww. I hate that word.”
He chuckled. “No, really. You usually look as though you’re going to kill someone on the spot, but as I said, you’re smiling more lately, and that look suits you way better. You should really smile more.”
I looked at Masen. He was laughing at something Blake had said. As if he’d sensed me watching him, he returned my gaze and smiled softly, and fuck me, my heart melted.
He looked perfect. With all his flaws and virtues, he was somehow perfect. And, yes, he made me smile. What more could a girl wish for?
He looked down at his phone and shot me another text. I looked right away, too curious to see what it said.
“I want to make you come again.”
My eyes rounded at this. He was doing this on purpose, trying to embarrass me in front of Mateo!
My gaze clashed with his, and he smirked. That freaking—
“Will you stop with the nasty texts? What happened was a lapse of judgment. Nothing more. A lapse of judgment.”
His smirk grew even bigger.
“Then I hope you’ll have another lapse of judgment soon. You can start by saying you’ll go out with me.”
I stared at the text with my heart in my throat. Going out with him could easily turn out to be a disaster. But it also didn’t have to be, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to give it a try.
“I have to inform you that your way of trying to convince me to go out with you is lame.”
Mateo chuckled. I raised my head to look at him. “What?” I asked.
“You’re not even eating. He’s affecting you this much?”
I looked at my almost untou
ched plate and grimaced. I didn’t have an appetite. I was too excited.
“Unfortunately.” My screen flashed with a new message.
“Then I’ll keep texting you dirty messages until you agree to go out with me. Maybe I’ll send you another dick pic.”
I sucked in a long breath. He winked at me. I didn’t doubt he would do it because he and I were the same in that department. He would pester me because he was nasty, and he wouldn’t stop until he grossed me out for life.
There was only one thing I could do at this point. The old Mel would’ve marched over there and pushed his head into his plate. The new Mel was apparently smitten with him to the point of letting him get his way.
I jabbed at the keyboard, my lips pursed, as I composed the message.
“Fine. I’ll go out with you.”
I sent the text on the spur of the moment, but only after I hit “Send” did it fully sink in what I’d just done.
I’d agreed to go out with Masen Brown. On a date. I was going on a date with him.
I sneaked a glance at him. His smile was victorious as his fingers typed rapidly on his phone. I groaned and buried my head in my hands.
“Kill me,” I told Mateo.
“Why?”
“I’m going out on a date with him.”
“Really?”
I didn’t raise my head to see his expression. “Really.”
“When?”
“Hopefully, next century.”
He chuckled. “I think instead of telling you to have fun, I should say good luck.”
My screen flashed, and I quickly picked up my phone and read Masen’s text. My mouth turned dry.
“I’ll be waiting for you in the parking lot.”
I read the message again, just in case, before I gaped at him. He was crazy.
I typed and deleted my message a couple of times, my nervous fingers producing typos each time.
“Wait. Now??? You want to go out with me NOW???”
He didn’t answer. He pocketed his phone and said something to Hayden and Blake. They turned to look at me and smirked, and I looked askance at them. Masen stood up, threw some money on the table, and headed out.
He passed next to our table and leaned in to whisper into my ear, “Yes, now.” He continued walking without even waiting for my reply.