Tainted

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Tainted Page 8

by Kallie Mathers


  Before Chase can open his mouth, I jump in, my blood fuming. “How the fuck did she manage to get drugs inside? She was stripped because she’d vomited all over the clothes she was admitted in? And I it couldn’t have come from the belongings I’d brought in that same night because everything was brand spanking new. So how, how did she get pills?” I demand. I went to every store myself and I picked out some outfits I knew she’d appreciate.

  Mia has a banging body, but she’s never thought so, and she’s always tried to cover herself up as to not draw attention. The bags were filled with oversized knitted sweaters, leggings and loose-fitting shirts. There was no way she could have gotten the drugs from there. We need answers.

  Mary has been there for me through the good and the basin my life and she’s even been kind enough to help out with my mother and her mental health ‘issues.’

  It’s an odd arraignment, my family has. Mary and my mom speak regularly, and my father has also been known to drop everything he’s doing to head out to LA when my mother would need support. Sure, initially I wished my parents had stayed together. What child doesn’t want that, but the dynamics we share are special and they aren’t something to shy away from.

  “Hello, my angel,” she says as she drops the bags she’d been holding and she wraps me up in a warm hug that has always made me feel safe, even as a grown man.

  “What are you doing here?” I’m so glad she’s here. I’ve always been able to discuss anything going on in my life with her.

  From the moment we met, she always told me I could go to her with anything I needed help with, without judgment.

  “I’m sorry to just barge in like this. I hope you don’t mind but DJ told me where you were staying and I knew I had to come up and feed my boys,” she pulls out of the embrace and she reaches up resting her hands on my cheeks. “I know my boys. When something major is going on in your lives, you drink yourselves into oblivion and you forget to eat. So, I’m here to feed you.”

  She’s perfect. “I don’t mind at all. And you know us far too well. Come in, let me grab the bags.”

  Picking up the grocery bags, I kick the door closed behind us and make my way through to the makeshift kitchen located next to my room.

  As I unpack the bags onto the counter, I hear, “Mary! Please tell me you brought a pot of your famous Mac ‘n’ cheese with you. I could use some fat in my gut to help me keep up the drinking I plan on doing tonight,” Chase blurts while chuckling.

  “I didn’t bring a pot, but I ‘did’ just pop into the grocery store and I bought all the ingredients to make it for you.”

  “You are everything!” he almost yells in return. Yeah, the alcohol is doing its job.

  While Mary stands by the stove making her famous gooey cheesy pasta, she begins the interrogation. “So, what’s going on with Mia? DJ said she was forced into rehab.”

  Being the juvenile I am, I prop my ass up onto the counter beside her as she grates copious amounts of sharp cheddar cheese. “Yeah, Chase had her admitted, and he also managed to gain power of attorney.”

  Mary’s brows raise. “I’m so glad he did. DJ’s been very concerned for Mia’s welfare. He’s tried on many occasions to get her exact location, but she never cracked because she knew he’d send you to her. I know he puts on a show, and that he tries to make light of every situation he is thrust into, but this has affected him. Mia was the first person outside of the family to go out of her way to make him feel comfortable. Hell, she doesn’t it ramps in ‘her home’ when she didn’t have to all do, he could have easy access. Mia means a lot to DJ. He thinks of her as a sister. And with his past addictions to pain pills, he knows how hard it is to get off them.”

  For a good three years, from the ages of fifteen to eighteen, DJ grew tired of his being paralysed and he grew tired of the constant hospital admissions and the poking and prodding with needles and testing, and he, much like Mia, turned to pills, alcohol and he even went as far as using cocaine when the pills stopped giving him the high he’d been chasing. He was in a comatose state for a lot of those three years. He tried three times to quit, but wasn’t until we found him in his room on the brink of death we decided to place him into a treatment centre not far from his house in New York.

  At first, he was angry, and he refused to cooperate, but eventually he gave in to the process and when he began counselling, he picked up. He let himself feel the emotions he’d been so desperately trying to keep buried within him, and it did him a world of good. Sure, he went back to both his pills and alcohol, but he only takes the dosage recommended by his doctor and his drinking is now a social indulgence, rather than drinking himself into a stupor.

  We were worried when he took up the habits once again, but so far, he’s proven he can handle it. Sure, not one of us is all that thrilled by the fact that he’s doing this, but there isn’t all that much we can do about it. it needs to be his decision.

  Looking over at Mary, I can see just how worried she is about both Mia and DJ. “I know he’s worried about her and I’m grateful for the fact that he decided to keep their contact hidden. Mia needed to know she could trust someone and as much as I wish I’d been the one she turned to, I’m also grateful for the fact that DJ’s been keeping tabs on her...” my brother cuts me off as he wheels himself over to us.

  “That’s because I’m fucken awesome and Mia knows it. You’re just a wet blanket.” He sneers.

  Mary let's go of a chuckle. “I’ll never figure out where you managed to get such a cocky attitude from. But I do love your spunk, my son,” she laughs.

  “It’s a god-given gift.” He shrugs.

  “Anyway,” Mary presses on. “Did you manage to get in to see her,” she asks, looking to me.

  “Nope, but he was allowed to see her,” I nod in DJ’s direction.

  Mary stops what she’s doing, and she looks over to her son. “You managed to see her and not Chase?” She questions confused by his being able to gain access to Mia where her own brother could not. I can understand why she’s confused. If I hadn’t been with Chase through the process, I’d be feeling the same way my stepmother is.

  “She refuses to see him. She’s paused off by the fact that he went and gained power of attorney and that legally, she can’t just up and walk out of the place,” DJ explains.

  “That must have been a punch to the stomach for Chase.”

  “No, I knew it would happen,” Chase answers as he too approaches. Resting his elbows on the counter, looking frustrated, he presses on, “She’s not the Mia I grew up with, that’s for sure. She’s angry at the world, not that I can blame her though.

  After Jo walked out without warning, she began to grow distant but the minute she walked into dads’ room and she witnessed him hanging from the beam,” he pauses, obviously trying to keep his composure. Both Chase and I were the ones to cut Clint down, even though it was clear he’d been dead for some time.

  It’s a sight I’ll never forget, but I can’t even begin to imagine just how difficult it must have been for Chase. I couldn’t ever imagine having to walk into such a scene if it was my father that had been hanging.

  Pressing on, Chase tries to talk over the emotions that have crept up. “From that moment, she wasn’t the same. Mia refuses to see a therapist and believe me when I tell you that both Carter and I tried to get her to open up, but she locked herself down. She refused to open up to anyone.”

  My head lowers, and I close my eyes. Like Chase, my emotions bubble to the surface. Because I’ve been so focused on Mia, I haven’t given myself time to expel the thoughts and feelings I’ve also kept buried within.

  “Oh, sweetie,” Mary begins, and I then feel her come over and again, she wraps me up in her warm motherly embrace. "Mia will be okay. She’s strong, she’s always been a fighter. Deep in my heart, I know she ‘will’ get through this. She ‘will’ eventually come back to you. Both you and I know you’ll never give up on her even if she has given up on herself,” she whispers, and I
know without having to look at her that she’s on the verge of tears.

  Nodding, I try to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. “I know you’re right, but it’s killing me. I know she’ll be okay but the fact that she wants nothing to do with me is what’s hurting me the most.” I miss her. I miss holding her, I miss talking to her. I miss hearing her laughter. I want her back. I want her to know she can confide me, that I will take care of her for the rest of our lives.

  “She’ll come back to you. I promise.”

  Chapter Nine

  Mia

  While I lay peacefully fast asleep in my bed, I’m woken when my stomach contracts.

  With my jaw tingling and my mouth filling with saliva, I pull back the sheets and blindly, I race into the bathroom and I fall to the ground in front of the toilet where the contents of my stomach are expelled.

  While my body trembles, I also begin to sweat profusely, but the worst part is when there’s nothing left in me, but my stomach muscles continues to contract and the dry wrenching burns my throat.

  At some point, I lay down on the cold floor and I fell asleep.

  “Yo, do you think you can move enough to let me in so I can pee?” I hear Raine ask.

  Slowly, my eyes open, but quickly, I close them again when the light hits me, surging a flash of pain behind my eyes.

  “Fuck me, I feel like I went out and got fucking wasted last night. This fucking sucks!” I moan as I move onto my side, trying to give Rain enough room to gain access to the toilet because I’m not capable of standing, or even lifting my head off the wonderfully cold tiled ground.

  “Yeah, detox sucks,” she says as she steps over me.

  “How many times have you had to do this shit?”

  “A few times. I’d give you some pills but I’m out and I won’t be able to get any in since they beefed up the screening process for visitors. I’ll be where you are, soon enough.”

  My stomach once again contracts and I don’t even have time to tell Raine to get off the toilet. Quickly, I push myself up and I reach the sink, but even though there’s nothing coming up, it doesn’t stop my body from reacting. “Fuck. This. Shit,” I blurt. I’m exhausted and my body cannot hold itself up, so I lay back down on the ground.

  Once Raine has done her business, she lowers herself down beside me, crossing her legs under her. "I know this sucks. I know you want that one last hit, but you will be okay. It’s up to you, but since you were so nice to me last night, I want you to know that I’ll be here for you too. And I know it’s going to be difficult, but I’m now committed to the process. I’ve never wanted to get sober but that was only because I never had anyone willing to do it with me. If you want, I can be your support? I know I’ll be pretty horrible when I begin to detox but I want you to know that if I do get bitchy, that it isn’t about you rather the pills leaving my system. Do you think you might want to get clean?” She questions as she rests a hand on my leg.

  Even though the fact that she’s touching me makes me feel uncomfortable, I don’t bother fighting it. “If I get sober, then all the bullshit I’ve tried to run from will be at the forefront of my mind. I can’t let that happen.” If I have to face the past, I won’t want to live.

  Chapter Ten

  Carter

  Once we’d finished eating, again there is a knock at the door.

  “It’s okay. It’s just your dad, Carter. He wanted to drop by and check in on you,” Mary winks.

  Chase is the one to answer the door. “Craig, how are you?” He greets my father as the tall, dark haired, burley man enters the suite.

  “I’m good, my boy. How are you, considering everything that’s going on?”

  “I’ll be as good as gold once we get Mia sorted out.”

  “Good to hear.” My father then pats him on the back before turning to face me. “Son, it’s so good to see you. It’s been far too long.”

  As he approaches with his arms wide open, I respond, “It’s been three weeks, dad,” I chuckle as I welcome his hug.

  Patting my back, he laughs. “I know, son. But being away from you or your brother for any amount of time saddens me.” Pulling our if the embrace, my father rests his hands square on my shoulders and his caring eyes meet mine. “How is she?”

  My dad has always been a fan of Mia’s. He always considered her as the daughter he never had. And he too has been worried about her wellbeing and my own. “You might want to ask DJ. He was the only one she would see.”

  “Really?” He looks to Chase. “She didn’t want to see you?”

  “Nope.” He shakes his head. “She’s still pissed at me, but I know it’s only a matter of time.”

  For the rest of the evening we all sat around the living area eating and drinking until finally, my parents decided that driving home wasn’t an option.

  They weren’t drunk, but they didn’t want to take the risk, so they called downstairs and booked the suite next door to us, making sure my brother had a room.

  ***

  For the next few days, I worked from the hotel suite, I longed to hear from Mia, but when I did receive a call, it sure as hell wasn’t the call, I wasn’t ready to receive.

  When the call has ended, I go racing to Chase’s room, where I find him seated on the bed with his laptop resting in his lap.

  When he looks up, his eyes widen at the sight of me. “Dude, what’s going on you look frantic?” He questions as he shifts the laptop onto his bed.

  “My mom’s doctor just called. They had to commit her into the Psychiatric hospital. I need to race home. I need to be there for her and find out what the hell happened.” My mother’s mental issues have always been something I’ve had to deal with. However, I’ve never looked at it as if her problems are a burden on me, rather an illness she can’t control.

  “Shit! I’ll book you a flight on the red eye.”

  “Thanks. I’ve got to get to her. Make sure you call me if there are any updates on Mia.”

  “Will do. Go get a cab. Call me when you get there.”

  “I will. Thanks.” And I then race out of my room and gather my phone, wallet and my car keys since I left my car in long term parking at LAX.

  There was a car waiting for me downstairs, and it was all thanks to Chase.

  Chapter Ten

  Carter

  The very minute the plane had taxied, and the doors were opened, I made my apologies to the other first-class passengers as I pushed my way past them and out the door.

  Fortunately for me, I packed no belongings, so I skipped most of the ques. Once I’d hopped into my car, I raced my way up to the hospital.

  Doctor Ralmos, the man who predominantly, looks after my mother, was kind enough to message while I was in the air giving me the ward and bed numbers so I didn’t have to wander aimlessly around the hospital searching for the woman that gave birth to me.

  As I walk up the bright, white corridor, all I can hear is the noise of the singing machines and patients yelling. It’s something I’ve grown accustomed to.

  My mom has never been a violent person, not even when she sneakingly stops taking her medications, unlike some others who share the same conditions as her.

  No, my mom isn’t the type to attack others, nope she’s the type to walk down the street stark naked and try to make out with strangers.

  Then there was the time she went out for dinner at a local pizza restaurant, and she picked up the balls of ice cream from the bowl and rub it all over herself. It was unnerving, but I was also relieved by the fact that she kept her clothes on. My life has been anything but dull.

  As I approach the nurse’s station, I’m met by Dr Ralmos. The man is tall, with dark curly hair covered in a thick layer of gel, and he’s part Greek, so his features are sharp.

  “Carter, thanks for getting here as quickly as you have. Would you join me in the office to discuss your mother?” He’s always made sure my mother’s medical details are never made public.

  Yes, my parents are
divorced, and although my father isn’t ‘famous’ in the usual sense, my family do have a tendency of making headlines on the gossip sites. The good doctor knows how important keeping my mother’s 'antics’ out of the public’s eye is to us.

  Once we’re secure in his office away from any prying onlookers, Dr Ralmos and I take our seats opposite to one another, and immediately he gets to the point of the issues at hand.

  “I’m very sorry to have had to call you back to Los Angeles,” he apologises.

  Shaking my head, I assure him he did the right thing by calling me back. “It’s no problem. So, what did she do this time?” I’m never worried about my mother’s antics, she’s like a hippy from the sixties/seventies that thinks she’s still at Woodstock. It’s always the people surrounding her that make me nervous because humans can be cruel. I’ve faced a few nights in lockup dealing with pointless assholes that have given Sara grief.

  The cops have always been fair on me especially once I explain the situation with my mom’s illness. Sure, they must follow protocol, and they’ve always apologised to me when locking me in the cells, but I have always remained both calm and understanding. There’s no sense in fighting them, not when they’re trying to their job and I’ve also found that keeping my cool, makes the officers want to help me by getting me out of there sooner than they would usually hold someone.

  He visibly lets go of a breath. “She managed to get a hold of some alcohol, she also admitted that she hasn’t been taking her medication. Due to the lack of balancing medications, your mom decided to go over to Trevor’s, her ex boyfriends house, trying to sleep with him but it wasn’t welcomed since Trevor is now happily married.”

 

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