Troublemaker (Goode Boys Book 1)

by Sean Ashcroft

  I’d been wrong. She could hurt me. She’d found a way.

  Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

  I managed one deep breath before I realized I couldn’t stop myself from bursting into tears, and I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction. Instead, I bit into the side of my cheek and turned, heading for the nearby side door and pushing it open.

  “His father’s dead,” Carter said quietly, still standing where I’d left him.

  My stomach clenched as I stepped into the glaring sunlight outside, tears overwhelming me as soon as the door swung closed.

  I slid down the brick wall of the bar, landing heavily on the snow beneath me, too packed to do much to cushion the fall. Sob after sob made my whole body heave, sore and cold and still recovering from the shock of falling, salt tears clinging to my lips, nose threatening to drip on me.

  The door I’d come through opened again, and I looked up to see Carter, blurry through tears but unmistakable.

  I didn’t want him to see me like this. I wanted him to see me cool and confident and ready to take on the world, to take anything.

  A handful of words from his mother and I was reduced to a crying wreck.

  I suddenly felt like I understood a lot. About Carter, about his dad, and even about why I’d never really been friends with Hallie even though I got the impression she liked me.

  “I’m…” Carter hesitated, footsteps crunching on the snow as he walked the three paces it took to bring him in front of me. “So sorry about that.”

  I couldn’t look at him. He shouldn’t have been seeing me like this. I was here to support him, not the other way around. Carter shouldn’t have had to put up with me.

  Enough people had put up with me in my life. His mom was right. Always a troublemaker.

  “Hey.” Carter put a hand on my arm. “You can cry all you want, but don’t do it sitting on the snow. Kieran will kill me if I let you catch pneumonia,” he said.

  I laughed despite myself, letting him pull me up when he offered his hand, collapsing forward against his chest as he pulled me in, a second wave of tears breaking over me.

  Carter’s coat was getting soaked, and I didn’t have the strength to do anything about it.

  His arms tightened around me, stronger than I’d taken him for, a solid wall of protectiveness and comfort, and I fell just a little bit in love with him.

  Even though I knew I was currently ruining my chances. Who’d want a hot-tempered asshole who couldn’t take being yelled at one time?

  Carter never shushed me while I cried myself out. All he did was hold onto me, steady as a rock, fingers digging into my back even through all the layers I was wearing so I didn’t freeze to death out here in the middle of the goddamn frozen North.

  Eventually, I pulled myself together.

  “I’m not sure that’s how pneumonia works,” I said. It was weak, but it was the best I could do. If I tried to talk about anything else, we’d be right back at square one, me collapsing into the snow again and crying my eyes out.

  “I’m not willing to test your theory, if it’s all the same. I’d miss my sister’s wedding if you got sick now.”

  In spite of everything, I smiled against his shoulder. “You’d stay with me?”

  “I dragged you out here,” Carter said. “The least I could do would be sit with you while you suffered. Besides, I clearly wouldn’t last long without you here. You took that for me, and you didn’t have to.”

  I sniffed again, burrowing closer to him. If I’d already ruined my chances, I might as well enjoy it.

  “She shouldn’t talk to you like she does,” I said, sure of that. “I should kick her ass for being rude about my mom.”

  “I thought you showed incredible restraint in not doing that, but right now I’d probably hold your coat for you while you did,” Carter said softly.

  I sighed, whole body shuddering as some of the tension eased off, relaxing against Carter’s warm chest. “It would’ve been you, if I hadn’t stepped in, wouldn’t it? Catching the sharp edge of your mother’s tongue.”

  “The sharp edge of my mother’s tongue?” Carter repeated, clearly amused. “I didn’t know you were into poetry.”

  He was deflecting. He didn’t want to talk about this any more than I did.

  “She shouldn’t talk to you like she does,” I said again, even more certain this time. What had Carter gone through behind closed doors?

  I was starting to realize that I’d had no idea how bad it was. I’d barely even scratched the surface of understanding.

  “She shouldn’t talk to you like she just did,” Carter said. “But if you’ve ever wondered why I moved to New York and never came back… I guess you’ve got some idea now.”

  “Yeah,” I said, heart aching for him. “Yeah, I do.”

  With a final sigh, I pulled away from him, giving us both space we desperately needed.

  “Thank you,” Carter said. “For getting between us. You’re right. It would’ve been me if it wasn’t you.”

  “It’s gonna be you now anyway,” I said. “You ran after me. She’ll be mad.”

  Carter shrugged. “She’s always mad at me. Doesn’t really make a difference.”

  That wasn’t true, and I knew it, but I appreciated that Carter had picked my side over his mother’s. Even if she’d clearly been in the wrong, she was still his mom. I was just his best friend’s annoying little brother.

  “Here,” he dug into his inner pocket, pulling out an actual, real-life handkerchief and holding it out to me. “Not that the tears and snot aren’t a great look on you, but…”

  I took it, marveling at the fact that he carried one. Who carried a handkerchief?

  “I suddenly feel like a delicate nineteenth century lady,” I said. “Do you also have a fainting couch stuffed in that coat?”

  Carter shrugged, an adorable blush coloring the ridges of his cheeks. “You’re the one who wanted a suitor ten minutes ago,” he said. “I think that means you’re supposed to keep that.”

  I wiped my face, figuring there was no point in letting Carter’s unexpected preparedness go to waste, and then balled it up and stuffed it in my pocket, not least of all because it seemed a little rude to pass back a handkerchief covered in bodily fluids.

  “I’ll cherish it forever,” I said, and I was only half-joking. Carter was going to turn me into the kind of person who carried one, just because he’d given it to me and I wanted to keep it.

  He smiled, warm and soft and so, so tempting, taking a half-step toward me.

  My stomach flipped, convinced he was about to kiss me. Was that why he wanted me to clean up? So he could?

  “Good,” he said, licking his lips, and I’d already forgotten what we were talking about.

  Before I could kick the part of my brain that would have told me not to into gear, the part that needed another hug and maybe a good orgasm to feel better took charge, and suddenly my hand was on Carter’s cheek and our noses bumped together as I kissed him, hard and needy, a flood of warmth washing around the pit of my stomach at the soft, surprised gasp he made.

  The part of my brain that wasn’t a needy asshole shuddered into life a moment later, yelling stop in my head, whistles and sirens going off between my ears.

  I pulled back, horrified at myself.

  The first time I’d kissed Carter, I had a reason for it. There’d been a purpose, it wasn’t just about me and what I wanted.

  This time, it’d been all selfish.

  And I was doing it to a man who didn’t like me, didn’t want me, and had been surprised every time someone kissed him because he never got to make that decision for himself, some asshole was always pushing themselves on him.

  Now the asshole was me, and I wanted to throw up. This wasn’t who I was, and he didn’t deserve me taking advantage of him.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said, backing away a pace and almost tripping over my own feet. “I’m… I…”

  Tears threatened to well up again, th
e faintest stinging at the corners of my eyes warning me that I needed to get out of there before I made an even bigger asshole of myself.

  I froze as Carter closed the distance between us again, caught in his intense gray gaze, eyes flashing in the sunlight as he looked me over.

  “Don’t be,” he murmured, still looking at me like the answer to every question he’d ever had was written on my face.

  I grunted as he pushed me back against the bricks, catching my head so I didn’t split it open, mouth hot and eager against mine.

  Searing arousal flooded south, a low, needy moan rumbling in the back of my throat as Carter kissed me, pinning me to the wall, one hand on my shoulder and the other clenched in my hair, holding me still so he could take what he needed.

  All I wanted to do was let him. Even if I hadn’t had the biggest, stupidest crush on him that’d never really gone away, he’d been so kind to me just now. Whatever he wanted, he could have it.

  I half-expected him to come to his senses a moment later, but that wasn’t what happened. The kiss broke, but only for long enough for Carter to gulp down a lungful of air and then swoop right back in, softer this time, the kind of gentle, thorough kiss aimed at turning someone on.

  It was definitely working for me.

  I kissed back, tentatively at first, hesitant, afraid of freaking him out and making him stop, but Carter groaned deep in his chest as I responded, pressing closer to me, swiping his tongue along the inside of my lip.

  If he kept this up, I was going to come in my pants like a horny teenager, and I didn’t even mind. The hugs-and-orgasms part of my brain was lit up like a Christmas tree, doing a little happy dance in the back of my skull even as blood flowed away from my brain and into my cock.

  Carter didn’t say anything, but he kissed like a kid in a candy store. Like there was no way he could ever get enough of it and it was the most exciting thing that’d ever happened to him. Happy noises vibrated in his throat as he experimented, changing angles, testing out a little more tongue, one hand sneaking into my coat to grab hold of my sweater, holding me in place.

  The sound of the door swinging open again made both of us freeze.

  Carter’s mom didn’t say anything at first, but the look on her face was worth a thousand words.

  All the warm fuzzy happiness drained out of me at once, leaving me cold and nauseous.

  Not for me. There was nothing she could say to me about this that’d make me cry again.

  But Carter wasn’t used to getting busted making out with a boy by someone who didn’t approve, and I knew how much that stung the first few times.

  I couldn’t imagine what it’d be like coming from my own mother.

  The cold hit me all at once as Carter stepped back, his confidence evaporating.

  “You,” she said, looking directly at me for once. “Are not welcome at this wedding.”

  Carter’s shoulders straightened, and this time, he stepped between me and his mother.

  “Then neither am I,” he said, voice quiet but firm.

  Defending me.

  A surge of hope and affection for him welled up in my chest, pushing out all the fear and anxiety his mom had caused.

  Carter was standing up for me. To his mother. His mother who even his dad was afraid of.

  “Fine by me,” Mrs. K said, her mouth set in a hard line, eyes cold. “You’ll be welcome back when you’ve come to your senses and chosen someone more appropriate to attend with.”

  Without a moment’s pause, Carter turned to me and offered his hand. His fingers were trembling, but there was determination written all over his face.

  “Come on,” he said, ignoring his mother the way she’d ignored me so many times. “It’s cold out. Let’s head back.”

  I took his hand, squeezing shaking fingers tight, and followed him past his mother and back to the car, guilt and giddy excitement warring in my gut.

  Carter picked me.

  15

  Carter

  I barely waited until we were behind closed doors to kiss Aiden again, need and desperation pushing me to bite at his lip, shove my hands under his coat to hold him close, want and arousal filling the space under my ribcage, making my lungs tight.

  This was all new, and it was terrifying, but it felt so good.

  “Tell me to stop,” I murmured between kisses, half hoping he would, half hoping he wouldn’t.

  “Don’t,” Aiden said, thumb brushing the shell of my ear as he pushed his fingers into my hair. “Not if you don’t want to.”

  I didn’t want to. I wanted Aiden, who was kind and warm and sweet and protective, who treated me like something with value, something worth taking care of, who’d fallen off a ladder and let my mother tear into him instead of me because he was a good man.

  There was no one more appropriate. For the first time in my life, I was kissing someone because I really, really wanted to, and not just because they’d started it.

  “I want you,” I said, nerves making my stomach clench as I said it, fear of rejection slithering down my spine. What if he didn’t want me, after all the screwing around?

  “Weird coincidence,” he said, pulling back to look me in the eyes. “I want you, too.”

  Joy like I’d never felt before filled my lungs, replacing all the air with happiness so big it hurt, too big for me to contain.

  Aiden wanted me. Could I get any luckier than that?

  Apparently, that was all the permission he needed to take charge, pushing me up against the wall and knocking the breath out of me, leaving me panting for air as he licked his way into my mouth.

  “Thought I had to ask for tongue,” I laughed between kisses, heat building in the pit of my stomach.

  “I’m being nice,” Aiden said. “But you can always ask.”

  I opened my mouth to do exactly that, but gasped instead as he hitched my sweater up and toyed with the button of my fly, fingertips only separated from bare skin by my tucked-in thermals.

  “I, umm. Want tongue?” I tried, too focused on Aiden’s fingers for full sentences or entirely coherent thoughts.

  “Do you?” Aiden asked, eyes glittering with promise, pretty pink tongue darting out to wet his lips.

  I nodded. Yeah. I wanted this, all of it, and I was tired of being afraid of wanting it, of burying it so deep I hadn’t let myself think about it in years, of blushing when an attractive man smiled at me but not saying anything, not smiling back, never even considering that I might be allowed to take a chance.

  Aiden was different. I could have him, and I could trust him.

  He kissed me again, deep and demanding, tongue thrusting into my mouth as he worked my pants open, a whimper escaping me at the first touch of his fingers against sensitive skin.

  “I want you,” Aiden panted between kisses, hands shoved into the back of my pants, squeezing my ass, and a little tremor of nerves shivered through me.

  Did he want…?

  “Shh,” Aiden soothed, as if he’d read my mind. “Don’t freak out. No butt stuff for your first time.”

  I laughed, a wave of relief washing over me. Okay. Okay, this, I could handle.

  I pulled him in for another kiss, nerves ebbing away, replaced by hot need as he toyed with my waistband, nipping at my lip.

  Aiden’s hands were all over me, leaving trails of tingling pleasure wherever they went, up and down my spine, sweeping around my hip, skimming up my belly.

  Should I have been undressing him? Was I allowed to touch, too?

  With a surge of confidence, I moved the hand on Aiden’s shoulder down his chest, hitching up the edge of his sweater and thermals to run the tips of my fingers over smooth skin.

  Aiden laughed into my mouth, pressing closer, the heat of his hard cock brushing against me, obvious even through his jeans.

  My breath caught as Aiden shoved my underwear down, and then dropped to his knees.

  Those pretty, deep green eyes looked up at me, sparkling in the dancing light of the low-burn
ing fire behind us, and for a spilt second I would have given him anything he asked for just to get him to look at me like that again.

  “Can I suck your cock?” he asked, looking up at me like it was the kind of request I might say no to.

  “You really don’t have to,” I said. No matter how much I wanted it, this wasn’t the kind of thing I normally asked for.

  But Aiden was still giving me that look, like he couldn’t think of anything he wanted more in the world.

  “You haven’t noticed the oral fixation yet?” he raised an eyebrow.

  “You used to smoke,” I remembered.

  Aiden grinned up at me. “Quit for you,” he said. “Only fair you should give me something else to put in my mouth.”

  Well. Couldn’t fault that logic, but mostly because I was so hard there wasn’t enough blood left in my brain to think about it.

  The first touch of his tongue made my breath hitch, a sudden rush of hot pleasure rolling down my spine, a bead of precome welling up at the tip of my cock.

  He licked it away with a satisfied hum, both hands wrapped around my thighs, keeping me still.

  “Oh, you’re gonna be so much fun,” Aiden murmured, nuzzling his way along the length, pressing a butterfly-light kiss to the base. “You smell incredible.”

  I’d never heard that before, but I liked it all the same. I liked that Aiden so obviously wanted me, that he wasn’t afraid to hold back, that he wasn’t making this feel like a favor he was doing for me.

  The wet heat of his mouth as he wrapped his lips around the head of my cock was almost enough to make me come on the spot, belly already tight with need, another spurt of precome spilling out of me and onto his tongue.

  Aiden looked up at me, throat bobbing as he swallowed, eyes glittering.

  He didn’t let up for a second, holding my gaze for long moments while he sucked and swallowed around me, what little was left of my brain power draining right out of me.

  My eyes fell closed, a moan scraping the back of my throat as Aiden took me deeper, taking his time. Slow and steady until I was nudging the back of his throat, surrounded by his heat, thighs tense with the urge to thrust into it.