I moaned into my pillow, pressing my face hard into it and arching my back, trapping his hand under me, meeting his thrusts and jerking into his fingers, so close I could taste my orgasm in the back of my throat.
Carter’s teeth dug into the meat of my shoulder, and that was it. I groaned as it hit all at once, belly tensing as my hips rocked.
Above me, Carter tensed and jerked his hips, too, catching up to me with a low, surprised moan right into my ear that sent another bright spark of pleasure bouncing through me, adding to the intensity.
A series of needy whimpers spilled from my lips as I finished, wave after wave of it until I felt hollowed out, completely spent.
Carter rocked into me a few more times, hips slowing as he sighed a deep, satisfied sigh, and then paused.
“Can I, umm…” he began, his voice wrecked, sending an aftershock rolling through me. “Can I just pull out, or…?”
I laughed, but that was sweet.
“Slow would be nice,” I said, amazed that I could get that many words out in a relatively coherent order.
He did as I asked, easing out of me with all the care and reverence in the world before flopping onto the mattress beside me, panting harshly.
I stayed exactly where I was for long moments, body oversensitive and tingling with aftershocks where Carter’s fingers were brushing against my thigh.
Damn.
With every last bit of strength I had, I pushed the pillow back up to approximately where it’d come from and rolled over, flopping out on my back like Carter had, staring up at the ceiling.
This… this was going to take some processing.
Carter’s hand brushed against my fingers where they were lying between us, his foot just barely touching my ankle, and I couldn’t remember ever being this perfectly content before.
“Was that, umm.” Carter paused, swallowing so loudly I could hear him even over the rush of blood in my ears. “Was that… good?”
I laughed again, joy welling up in my chest at how sweet he was. This wasn’t what I’d pictured when I was in high school—I’d imagined an experienced older man showing me everything—but it was so much better.
“Oh yeah. I’m seeing stars right now,” I said, grinning and gesturing at the ceiling, where the clouds had finally cleared and the sky looked like someone’d spilled a pot of glitter over it.
Carter snorted, fingers shifting to curl loosely around mine, a little anchor point between us.
“What about you?” I asked, tilting my head to look at him. “How’re you feeling?”
“Torn,” he said after a moment, another sigh making his chest rise and fall.
“Torn?”
Carter nodded. “Between being mad that I’ve never done this before,” he said, turning to meet my eyes. “And really glad it was with you.”
A lump sprang up in my throat. Yeah. Yeah, see, that was the thing.
This was different, and I could feel it, too. I’d had plenty of sex in my life, but it’d never been quite like that.
Like it meant something, like it was something other than simple physical pleasure.
And now that Carter had mentioned it, it scared the hell out of me.
“No regrets?” I asked, pushing that thought aside.
I was supposed to be helping him out, not falling in love with him.
“None,” Carter said. He sounded surer of himself than I’d ever been about anything in my life.
“Hold that thought a second,” I said, gathering the strength to roll out of bed and find my jacket.
I smiled at the thought of what I was about to do, unpinned the badge I wanted carefully, and headed back over to Carter’s side of the bed, pressing it into his hand.
“Here. Welcome to the club.”
Carter lifted the bisexual flag badge I’d been wearing on my jacket since I was nineteen, turning it this way and that in the low light.
“But this is yours,” he said, still staring at it.
“Yours now.” I shrugged. “I don’t need it anymore.”
If someone had done this for me, it would’ve made a lot of things a lot easier. I wouldn’t have had to feel like I was making shit up, or going through a phase, or like no one would ever accept me.
I didn’t need it anymore. I was past caring what people thought of me and I only wore it for other people’s benefit, so they’d know they weren’t alone.
Passing it on seemed like the best thing I could do.
“Thank you,” Carter said, closing his hand around it and letting it flop back down on the bed as I climbed back in, making myself comfortable to look up at the stars a little longer.
I grinned as his pinky finger curled around mine.
“This is a really magical queer moment,” I said.
Carter snorted. “And you’re determined to ruin it by pointing it out?”
“It’s not ruined.” I tightened my finger around his, just enough for him to feel it. “Just want you to know I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks,” Carter said.
We fell silent, watching the stars above, one point of contact enough for both of us, and my heart clenched at the thought of how sweet this was.
I was in trouble.
19
Carter
“You’re cute in the mornings,” Aiden said, licking milk foam off his upper lip.
I looked up to meet his eyes, raising an eyebrow.
“What?” Aiden grinned. “You are. You’re only half-awake. It’s adorable.”
“Adorable,” I repeated, rolling the word around in my mouth to try it on for size. “You’re the only person who’s called me that since I was like… eight, I guess.”
“Shame,” Aiden said, sipping his coffee again.
He’d taken me to the bakery he’d been getting breakfast at this morning. It was warm, and cozy, and the table was small enough that we couldn’t help our feet being tangled together under it.
The lace curtains were what really made the place.
Well, the lace curtains and the hot, fresh, sugary donuts Aiden was determined to fatten me up on.
I’d finally figured out that he liked watching me eat, and I wasn’t afraid to make the most of it, breaking my donut off in delicate bite-sized pieces to draw it out for him.
He’d done a lot for me, this was the least I could do in exchange.
Besides, I liked the way he looked at me. No one had ever looked at me like he did.
“Oh, hey,” I said between donut bites, interrupting the glazed look on Aiden’s face. He was moments away from drooling, and I loved that.
I’d never been sure about how to turn a partner on before, and I’d never really had to, because it hadn’t been about me. It’d been about a relatively stable boyfriend who looked presentable in public and let them have whatever they wanted in bed.
I was still thinking about how different it’d been with Aiden as I opened my coat, turning it so he could see the badge he’d given me pinned to the inside pocket.
Maybe I wasn’t quite ready to wear my heart on my sleeve—or my lapel, like he did—but I appreciated the gesture, and I wanted him to know that.
Aiden’s eyes widened, surprised joy lighting his pretty features up.
How was he wearing perfect eyeliner at this hour? I was struggling to drink coffee out of a travel cup without spilling it.
“You don’t have to wear it,” he said, nudging my foot under the table.
“I want to.” I licked my lips.
What I wanted was to be as brave as he was, but from here, that seemed impossible. Aiden was so confident.
The bell above the door rang, and my stomach dropped as I looked up to see who’d just walked in.
“Shit.”
Aiden glanced around, fingers tensing on his coffee cup as he watched my mom head straight for the counter.
She was between us and the door. There was no sneaking out past her.
“I’ll handle it,” Aiden promised. “She just wan
ts an apology from me. It’ll be okay.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” I said, knee already bouncing nervously under the table. “She should be apologizing to you.”
“I don’t say this a whole lot,” Aiden began. “But sometimes, you gotta pick your battles.”
Aiden didn’t really seem like the kind of person who did pick his battles—or at least, he seemed like the kind of person who picked all of them, and maybe grabbed a couple that weren’t his for good measure.
He was saying this for my benefit, and I didn’t want that.
But on the other hand, I had no idea what else to do. I was still nervous about standing up to my mom yesterday.
I moved my foot away from Aiden’s and felt instantly guilty about it, curling up in my chair to make myself as small as possible.
Mom caught sight of us in the next instant, her face changing as she looked at Aiden.
Aiden, who smiled and gave her a cheerful wave, like she hadn’t reduced him to tears yesterday.
I had no idea how he did that. How he could be so… cool, all the time.
“You,” Mom hissed, marching over to us with daggers in her eyes.
Aiden’s fingers tensed on his cup again, but he didn’t look away like I did. He held his head up high.
“What do you think you’re doing here?” she asked him, venom in every syllable. “How dare you.”
Aiden wet his lips. “Well, I’m pretty sure I’m having breakfast,” Aiden said, voice perfectly even. “In a bakery open to the public,” he added. “Donut?”
Mom looked down at the offered donut—the last one, which I’d been leaving for Aiden—like it’d just tracked mud all over the house after coming in uninvited.
She glanced up at Aiden again, and the look on her face didn’t change at all.
“You,” she said, turning her attention to me. “You knew this was where your sister’s wedding cake was being made, and you dare to show your face in here?”
There was that word again. Dare.
Having breakfast with a boy I liked shouldn’t have been daring, but it’d felt like that since the moment Aiden had woken me with a kiss and told me to get up before he left without me, laughing the entire time.
I’d felt like I was doing something I shouldn’t have been, like I was breaking the rules.
I was hiding the badge Aiden had been wearing proudly yesterday on the inside of my coat, hidden from view.
What the hell could out-and-proud devil-may-care Aiden possibly want with me?
“I… I didn’t…” I swallowed, unsure what else to say. I’d had no idea this was the bakery making Hallie’s wedding cake, and I probably wouldn’t have come in here if I did.
Aiden couldn’t have known, either. Why would he? He hadn’t even known about the wedding until I’d crashed into his life, dragged him along to this, and made him deal with my mother.
“Maria! Imagine seeing you in here!”
Relief flooded down from the top of my spine all the way to my toes as my dad walked into the bakery, grinning broadly. I’d never been so glad to see him in my life.
Mom’s attention switched to him so fast it was a wonder she didn’t give herself whiplash.
“Frank,” she said, staring at him.
Dad kept smiling, grabbing a chair from a nearby table and pulling it up to sit with us.
Aiden offered him the last donut, and Dad took it without hesitating, making happy sounds as he took his first bite.
“Hello, boys,” Dad said, grinning between mouthfuls of donut. “You two look like you had a long night.”
The tips of my ears burned, and I suddenly wasn’t sure facing my dad, with that knowing look in his eyes, was any better than facing my mom.
“Well, no, you look like you’ve had a long night,” he said to me. “Aiden looks bright eyed and bushy-tailed.”
Aiden grinned at him.
He liked my dad. They’d had a relationship all of their own before this. Not super close, although now I wondered if they both wished it’d been closer.
I was okay with sharing Dad with Aiden. It’d be good for both of them.
Mom glared at the back of his head, but didn’t say anything. Dad was finally standing up to her, like Aiden, and with only me to bully and two people to defend me, she seemed to be reconsidering her options.
“I was thinking that earlier,” I said, cautiously, hoping it wouldn’t give Mom another opening. “I would not risk putting on eyeliner before coffee.”
“Aww, honey,” Aiden teased. “You should’ve asked. I would’ve done your eyeliner for you.”
Dad laughed, glowing with warmth for the two of us.
Mom, finally, retreated, called away by the barista now that her coffee was ready.
“Do you loan him out?” Dad asked. “Could use someone to do my eyeliner in the morning. Haven’t worn it since I was your age.”
Now it was my turn to stare open-mouthed at Dad, shocked by this whole new side of him I’d never seen before.
“Never did quite get around to a tattoo. Might have to swing by for a consult when we get home.”
Aiden beamed so brightly at him that my cheeks flushed and I had to look down at my coffee, overwhelmed by how much I liked seeing him like that.
“I am so ready to ink you up, Mr. K,” he said, nudging my foot under the table.
“Gotta support local business,” Dad said cheerfully, licking his fingers clean.
“Well, if I can ever afford to build a house, you’re the first person I'll call,” Aiden promised, beaming at him.
“I was actually coming over here to ask if you boys had anything planned today,” Dad continued. “Since we’re all persona non grata right now.”
I laughed, remembering Aiden saying quid pro quo a few days ago. He and my dad were a lot alike in some ways.
“You both speak Latin now?” I asked, looking between them, a smile plastered on my face. This was nice.
And with Dad here, laughing and joking with the two of us, treating Aiden like it was fine and normal that we were into each other…
It felt fine. And normal. And like something I was allowed to do, all of a sudden.
“We have layers,” Aiden said, still sharing a smile with my dad.
Yeah. They were a lot alike and not a lot of people bothered to see what good, kind, generous people they were.
“No plans,” I said, remembering what we’d been talking about. “Got something in mind?”
Dad licked his lips, nervous. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet. Thought we might all go ice skating?”
Aiden’s eyes lit up. My stomach dropped.
My ice skating skills hadn’t improved any since we were teenagers. I hadn’t put on a pair of skates in eleven years.
But both Aiden and Dad were looking at me hopefully, and I was pretty sure I knew who the someone Dad wanted me to meet was. I’d noticed an extra car outside his cabin last night.
“Sure,” I said, draining the last of my coffee. “But neither of you are allowed to laugh at me.”
Aiden was laughing at me.
“Okay, okay,” he said, offering me a hand up.
I was so tired of falling on the ice, but he was glowing, nose and cheeks pink from the cold, and I couldn’t bring myself to give up on this yet.
He helped me back to my feet, holding both of my forearms as I stood, taking most of my weight while I got my balance back.
“Look, what we’ve established is that I need to hold your hand the whole time or you’ll fall over,” Aiden said as if it was the best thing that’d ever happened to him.
Yeah. That was pretty much what we’d established, that I couldn’t ice skate without someone to lean on, and even then it was dicey.
“Lucky for you, I like holding your hand,” Aiden said, sliding his fingers down past my wrists and clasping both hands around my forearms for stability.
He was so patient.
“You must think I’m a
n idiot.”
I would never have done this in front of any of my previous girlfriends, terrified they’d leave me for having no sense of balance or coordination. For embarrassing them.
But Aiden wasn’t embarrassed. He was still looking at me like I was incredible.
Couldn’t figure out why, but I didn’t hate it.
A wolf-whistle from a dozen feet away startled me, knocking me off-balance again.
Trent skated a circle around my dad, more confident than all of the rest of us combined.
I could see why we were going ice skating. He’d been nervous to meet me, and Dad wanted it to be on terms where he was comfortable.
“He seems nice.” Aiden grinned as Trent skated a circle around us, too.
“He loves Dad,” I said. I didn’t care about anything else, really. Just that this time, my dad had someone who loved him exactly the way he was, and didn’t treat him like a project. Dad wasn’t a fixer-upper, he didn’t have good bones, he was great just the way he was and he needed someone to come along and appreciate that.
No one was perfect, and no one should have expected anyone else to be, either.
“He so does.” Aiden squeezed my fingers. “It’s good to see him happy.”
My stomach swooped as Aiden guided me forward, dragging me along the ice gently, so confident he could do this backward and still take most of my weight, all while keeping us both upright.
“I’m not gonna let go,” Aiden murmured, low and reassuring. “Don’t be afraid to lean on me.”
That was the thing, though. I was leaning on him. Heavily. In all kinds of ways.
“I mean that both physically and metaphorically,” Aiden clarified. He must’ve seen the look on my face.
I wanted to kiss him.
I always wanted to kiss him. I hadn’t thought about anything else all morning, but I hadn’t done it, either, because this was all so new and strange and exciting that I was too busy thinking about it to enjoy it.
Aiden, on the other hand, was focused on teaching me how to ice skate.
Troublemaker (Goode Boys Book 1) Page 14