“Hallie wants Carter and her dad at her wedding,” she continued. “And she wants them to be happy. She’s excited for her dad and glad Carter’s finally being honest about himself. Me too.”
Carter squeezed my hand when Mandi turned to smile at him, and I glanced at him to see he was smiling, too.
Good. Nothing worse than an ex you couldn’t be civil with.
“And I think I speak for all of us when I say you’ve been the single biggest source of stress for everyone this week. Hell, for months. You called me out of the blue six months ago and lied to me that Carter wanted to get back together and I don’t even remember why I went along with all this. Carter’s great, but he’s clearly happy right now. Why would I want to take that away from him? Why would you want anything other than to see your family happy?”
Mandi sure as hell had a point. I was starting to like her. Pretty and smart and willing to stand up to Mrs. K.
My stomach sank.
Perfect for Carter. Now that he wasn’t pretending to be something he wasn’t, and now that Mandi could see that and seemed to like him a little more for it, she was perfect for him. She’d look good standing next to him.
I’d have to be an asshole to get in their way.
“How dare you speak to me like that?” Carter’s mom asked. “After all I’ve done for you. I’ve treated you like my own daughter.”
“I know,” Mandi said. “Which is why I feel sorry for both Hallie and Carter. I’ve watched the way you treat them and I’m glad they’re both going their own way now. Neither of them deserves any less, and neither does Mr. Kowalski.”
“Thank you,” Carter’s dad spoke up, so soft it broke my heart. He’d never had anyone to stand up for him.
This whole goddamn family was a mess.
Another wave of love welled up in my chest for Carter, the urge to wrap my arms around him and hold him until he got sick of me growing again.
I just wanted to take him away from all this.
So did Mandi, apparently. She was okay, I thought. More than okay. Not my type, but not a bad person at all.
Carter’s mom, on the other hand…
“Fine,” Mrs. K spat. “You can all do this wedding without me, see if I care.”
No one exactly rushed to stop her storming off.
“Stop, no, don’t go,” Trent whispered once the door had well and truly slammed behind Mrs. K.
He clearly wasn’t her biggest fan, either. Trent would’ve seen what I’d seen by now—the damage that she’d done to everyone she was supposed to love.
Mandi offered Carter another small, wry smile before starting to gather tablecloths up again.
“We should go,” Carter nudged me. “Can’t be late to the wedding after this.”
I was still hanging onto his hand.
“Yeah,” I said, not quite ready to let go. “Gonna have to share the shower.”
“That doesn’t sound like it’ll speed things up at all,” Carter said, laughter in his voice as we headed for the car.
23
Carter
“Wow,” I said as Aiden walked out of the bathroom, hair neatly slicked back, charcoal suit hugging his body in all the right places, eyes sparkling.
He knew he looked good, and that made him twice as sexy as he would have been if he didn’t.
I was so bi.
My heartrate jumped the second he smiled at me, pulse thumping in my ears as I looked at him and all my senses opened up just a little more to take as much of him in as I could.
I really, really liked him.
“Good enough?” Aiden asked.
“You’re kidding, right?” I asked, still leaning against the back of the couch.
Aiden approached with a shy smile playing around his lips, and I realized he wasn’t kidding.
He knew he looked good like this, but he didn’t know if he looked acceptable. Which was stupid, because my entire family should have been scrambling for his approval and acceptance.
Aiden was perfect and none of us deserved him. No matter what angle I looked at this whole thing from, that was the conclusion I kept coming to. After everything he’d been through this week, it was a miracle that he was still speaking to me, let alone still here. The fact that he was standing in front of me, asking me if he was good enough, was outright impossible.
And yet, here we were.
“You’ve always been good enough for me,” I said, and I meant it to be light-hearted, but it came out a whole lot more serious than I intended.
Aiden bit his lip.
“Always,” I repeated, since I’d let too much slip anyway. Not showing him my heart now had to be worse than showing it, right?
We only had so much time left together. I was a stupid coward with a mother who would’ve been at home in hell wielding a hot poker, who hadn’t done anything to deserve even a fraction of the kindness and decency Aiden had shown me, and I should’ve been giving him so much more.
Honesty was the least I could do.
“Even when you were sixteen years old and you took up smoking for two weeks and liked me so much you quit because I said it was gross,” I murmured. “You’ve always been good enough for me. I’m flattered you noticed me at all.”
“Everyone notices you,” Aiden said, still so sure it was true.
I didn’t think so. I didn’t think a whole lot of people saw whatever it was that he saw in me.
“Not the way you do.” I reached out, taking his hand and holding it in both of mine, swiping the pad of my thumb over the star on his knuckle that was really growing on me.
We were cutting it fine in terms of being on time for the wedding, but we didn’t have a whole lot of these moments left. I wanted to enjoy this one. Take a few seconds to breathe.
“They will,” Aiden said, running his other hand through my hair, rearranging it the way he liked it. “Now that you know who the real Carter is, everyone else’ll see him, too. And he’s really hot, for the record. He could have anyone he wanted.”
I want you.
The words were right there, on the tip of my tongue.
I want you, Aiden. I wanna keep waking up next to you and holding your hand and getting comfortable with people seeing us together because it has to be you. It can’t be anyone else.
A car horn outside made me jump just as I was about to say it.
Dad. He’d texted me a few minutes ago to ask if we wanted to follow them to the chapel, which I absolutely did, because the last thing I wanted was to get lost. Hallie had said it was hard to find.
“Time to go.” Aiden darted in, dropping the softest, lightest kiss on my cheek before pulling away, tugging me along with him.
Later.
I’d tell him later.
I could hardly believe that my little sister was married. That she’d gone off and found someone to love and was about to really start a life and a family of her own.
As much as I wouldn’t have dated Damien, she seemed to like him. Love him, judging by the way she was glowing.
Good. This had turned out to be the wedding she deserved.
Mom had been at the ceremony, but now that the reception was in full swing, she was nowhere to be seen.
And now I was sitting with my dad, and his boyfriend, and my boyfriend, and I could barely contain my excitement when I thought about that last part.
Temporary boyfriend, my brain reminded me. Honorary boyfriend.
But I wanted more than that. I wanted boyfriend, no modifiers required.
“You should ask him to dance,” Dad said, right beside my ear, as if he’d read my mind. “He wants you to.”
Dad was right. Aiden had been watching the dancefloor since Hallie and Damien stood up, and he’d taught me how yesterday. He’d never ask, but I didn’t actually need to be able to read his mind to know what he was thinking.
This was a whole lot of people to make an idiot of myself in front of, though.
“If he didn’t like that you’re an idiot he
would’ve caught a bus home by now,” Dad said. He knew me too well. “He likes you just as you are.”
I wasn’t necessarily convinced that was true, but if I wanted it to be, then I probably needed to step up and show him that I liked him, too, and I wanted to be the kind of person he could enjoy hanging out with after all this.
Now or never.
Taking a deep breath, I stood and offered my hand to Aiden, stomach doing backflips.
“You, uh…” I licked my suddenly-dry lips. “Would you dance with me?”
The look on Aiden’s face was worth any amount of embarrassment. He smiled at me all the time, but this one was brighter than I’d ever seen.
“I would love to dance with you,” he said, grabbing my hand and dragging me out onto the floor, grinning the entire time.
He was beautiful. Always, but especially like this, scrubbed up and polished, eyes sparkling again, still looking at me like…
Like he liked me. Really liked me.
“You can lead, if you want,” he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Just do what I showed you in reverse.”
“That simple, huh?”
“That simple,” Aiden said.
He had all the confidence in the world in me. No one else had ever had that.
“I’m better at this than ice skating,” I said, glad there was an especially slow song playing right now. I could handle this.
Aiden wanted this, and I wanted to promise him the world, and the moon, and me.
Even though I didn’t deserve him and probably never would.
“I don’t care that you suck at ice skating,” Aiden murmured. “Just, y’know. For the record.”
“Well, for the record, I don’t mind doing it with you,” I said, and it suddenly felt like too much. Too exposed. Worse and more intimate than I love you.
But Aiden only laughed, and glowed at me. “Anytime you wanna try again…”
“You’ll be the first person I ask,” I promised, still recovering from the shock of telling him that I was happy doing something I hated if I was doing it with him.
Aiden fell quiet, glancing around the room once, twice, three times before looking back to me.
“You should ask Mandi to dance,” he said.
What?
“Come again?” I raised an eyebrow.
“She’s all alone and you’re the only person here she knows,” Aiden reasoned. “You should ask her to dance.”
He was so sweet. My heart ached at the thought.
He was right, too. Mandi had defended me—and Dad—this morning. Ignoring her wasn’t polite.
Besides, I thought we’d maybe come to half an understanding. It would’ve been nice to stay friends, especially if she was planning on hanging out more with Hallie.
“I’ll ask her,” I promised, leaning forward and letting my forehead rest against Aiden’s. “After this one. Okay?”
Aiden squeezed my fingers and let his eyes fall closed. “Okay.”
24
Aiden
You still awake?
I bit my lip as I waited for Morgan’s reply. I knew he would've been in bed by now, but in bed wasn’t the same as asleep, and I sure as hell needed someone to talk to.
Morgan: only if something’s on fire
Did this count as a fire?
It definitely felt like it.
Think I’ve maybe fallen in love with Carter
I hit send before I could second-guess myself, staring at the message for long seconds while the reality of it sunk in.
Saying it aloud—or at least, writing it down—made it real. It wasn’t just in my head anymore.
Morgan: congrats, but why are you telling me and not him
Morgan: ?
I glanced up at Carter dancing with Mandi, twirling her under his arm like I’d showed him, and my stomach clenched.
Catch and release. That was why.
Carter hadn’t looked twice at me before this week, and there was a reason for that. Multiple reasons. I could have him, right now, but I couldn’t keep him.
He wasn’t for me, even if I wanted him to be. Because despite everything, I was still…
I was still me. Smartass troublemaker who couldn’t keep his mouth shut for ten seconds, covered in tattoos and fifty percent bad habits by volume. I slept in until the last minute and left my towel on the floor and drank milk from the carton when I was alone, I was only behaving right now because I wanted Carter to like me more than I wanted to do those things.
Because some part of me was still fifteen years old, and sad, and alone, and desperate for his approval.
Same reason you aren’t telling my idiot brother you’d walk over hot coals for him
We didn’t usually talk about that, but it was true.
Morgan: I’m not screwing your idiot brother.
I smiled, despite everything. Morgan had a way of being so direct, and it was one of the things I loved most about him.
Shame we couldn’t have fallen for each other, really. Would’ve been a whole lot simpler.
I’ll only lose him if I tell him and I’m not ready to lose him
That was the thing, wasn’t it? I’d lose him if I told him, but I’d lose him anyway if I didn’t.
Except if I didn’t, at least we could stay friends. At least things wouldn’t be weird and awkward forever.
At least maybe I could come to his wedding, and dance with him one last time after my own brother stood up next to him and handed him a ring for someone else. Not that I was necessarily all that attached to the concept of marriage, but…
The thought of watching Carter do it with someone else hurt.
So maybe I wouldn’t go to his wedding, after all.
Morgan: you’re the only one who can figure out whether it matters more that he knows he’s loved or whether he thinks you’ve developed exactly no feelings after sleeping with him for a week. But the second one will make you look like an asshole
You never tell any of your boyfriends you’re in love with them
Morgan: because I’m not. And I am an asshole
No. No, you’re not. You’re a sweetheart who wears asshole like a costume to stop people hurting you.
Wow. This sure was getting deep for being before ten o’clock.
I love you
Morgan needed to hear that. He needed to hear it a lot more often than he did.
Morgan: stop psychoanalyzing me and go tell Carter how you feel. I’m going to sleep.
Night, Morgan
Morgan: night, Aiden. Love you too
I brushed my thumb over the words on my phone screen. Turned out I needed to hear that more often, too.
Movement beside me caught my attention, and I turned to see Hallie making herself comfortable in the empty seat Carter had been occupying earlier.
He was still dancing with Mandi, and I couldn’t bring myself to look anymore.
“So, Carter told me everything,” Hallie said. “About, y’know, the two of you.”
I blinked. Exactly what everything had he told her?
“That he begged you to come here as his date,” Hallie clarified. “That you’re not really dating. Which means I owe you an even bigger thank you for everything you’ve done to keep this wedding together.”
I raised an eyebrow. Just being here had nearly been enough to tear it apart, and I didn’t feel like I’d done a whole lot to make up for that. If anything, Hallie should have been banning me from future family events.
“I wanted Carter here,” Hallie said. “And he would’ve left early without you. I wanted my dad here, and he’s here with his boyfriend, who’s adorable by the way, because you’re here. And mom just texted me to apologize for the first time in her life, and that’s because of you, too.”
“I…”
What was I supposed to say to that? I hadn’t really done any of those things, they were just because I existed.
“Don’t deflect,” Hallie said, apparently reading my mind.
&nb
sp; It probably wasn’t all that hard to read.
“I really didn’t do much,” I said, because I couldn’t follow a simple instruction without arguing about it. “Went along with a crazy idea, fell off a ladder, existed. You don’t need to thank me.”
“I do,” Hallie said, reaching out to take my hand and holding it between both of hers. “And it’s my wedding, so you have to let me.” She beamed.
She was so pretty. Good looks definitely ran in the family.
“Well, you’re welcome, then. And tell Damien if he ever hurts you, I know a six-three florist whose biceps I can barely get both hands around who owes me a few favors.”
Hallie laughed. “How is Morgan?”
“He’s fine. Just went to bed after I—”
Poured my heart out to him about how I’m in love with your brother but can’t say anything.
“Texted him good night,” I finished, hoping Hallie wouldn’t think anything of the pause.
Hallie’s eyes lit up. “You’re adorable. Are you two finally dating?”
I snorted. “No. No, definitely not. Morgan’s sweet, but he’s so not my type.”
Without missing a beat, Hallie looked over her shoulder directly at Carter. “Yeah, no, thought so. No one’s that good an actor. Even if Carter maybe can’t see it.”
“I…”
Dammit.
She’d seen right through me. What was the point in denying it? I hated to lie to anyone, and Hallie had never done me any harm.
“We’ve… been getting along,” I said, wondering if that sounded worse than yeah, I’ve had a crush on him since tenth grade. It definitely made it sound like Carter was involved.
Hallie’s eyes widened. Yeah. Worse than having a crush on him.
“Do not tell me the details, but have you two been…?”
“A gentleman never kisses and tells,” I said, which was absolute confirmation that I’d been screwing her brother, and I knew it as soon as the words escaped me.
Troublemaker (Goode Boys Book 1) Page 18