In the previous case of Dylan, for instance? He got married young and had a child immediately. Money was a constant source of anxiety. He and his wife lived in a tiny trailer initially, a place without running water or climate control—on winter nights, they ran the stove with its door open to heat the trailer. It’s easy to understand how he could lie in bed beside his new wife and son, look around at his surroundings, and feel a deep need to make a change. Once he secured a job with an opportunity for upward mobility, he never looked back. He worked his ass off, flying upwards through the ranks, determined to make sure his family was always comfortable and secure. What’s more, making enough to live comfortably in the present wasn’t enough: he wanted to become successful enough that they never had to worry about anything again. And that’s what he did. So that model of action became the habit, and this became the course he set himself upon, and it wasn’t until 20 years later that he stopped to ask himself the hard questions. He thought a huge salary was a non-negotiable, but the real non-negotiable was spending enough time with his family.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the mindset of “if I can just do [insert thing], everything will be okay.” We’re born hungry, hungry for a dozen different things—security, prosperity, and intimacy are a few. True contentment isn’t something produced by changing your external situation, though. It’s a state of mind. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive for the things you want, but you’ll be happiest in the long run when you know yourself well enough to know that your goals are set for the right reasons .
Thoughts on Minimalism
Minimalism as an idea has its roots in art and design, but it has also gained steam as a lifestyle movement, and it ties in closely with identifying your non-negotiables. Minimalists strive for simpler, freer lives by pretty much only sticking to their non-negotiables in terms of what they own and how they spend their time. Part of this is about being more discerning with the things you own, but at its heart what it’s really all about is taking “saying no” to the next level.
In Fight Club , Tyler Durden’s attitudes towards society and consumerism became a kind of siren call for legions of college-aged guys just taking their first steps into the world of free thinking. In the movie, Durden blows up his own apartment full of nice things to free himself from the pressure of having to care about them. “The things you own,” he remarks, “end up owning you.” Or to put a harder edge on it: “You are not your f*cking khakis.” Looking back, Fight Club ’s attempts at being philosophical are at times childish, but I can get behind the broad sentiment here. Notorious B.I.G. also knew this: more money can lead to more problems.
The minimalist philosophy asks you to eliminate things from your life that you can live without. In addition to possessions, this also includes ways you spend your time and energy. Anything that consumes resources (time, money, energy.) Basically, implementing some minimalist strategies in your life helps you identify your non-negotiables through process of elimination.
Many minimalists suggest buying quality goods if it’s economically feasible, for example. Good clothes that are still financially reasonable may last much longer than more cheaply made clothes.
You’d be surprised at what you can live without. Do you pay for cable because you always have, but nowadays find yourself watching nothing but Netflix? You might save yourself a couple of hundred dollars a year by ditching it. If you find a few places in your life like that, places where you splurge unnecessarily, you can free up significant resources.
Another example: when financial experts help people re-evaluate their budgets, cars are often one of the first things to come under the gun. At its core, a car’s purpose is to get you safely from one location to another. Everything else is icing on the cake. A new and expensive car might stick you with a payment of hundreds of dollars a month for years when you may be able to easily buy a car for much, much less that’s not sexy but gets the job done and doesn’t require you to make monthly payments. That frees up that cash to be used in support of something non-negotiable. Or, better yet, perhaps you find out that you can actually make do just fine with a bike. Writer Colin Wright notes that one of his non-negotiables is a fast, high-performing laptop. He lives a nomadic lifestyle and works digitally, so it makes perfect sense. He never has to worry about putting funds into those laptops, because he’s not spending the money on other expensive things that he used to think he needed but now knows he really doesn’t (like an iPhone.) 13
In terms of how your time is spent, you may take a critical look at your schedule and realize that you’re commited to all sorts of things that you could do without. Ridding yourself of unnecessary obligations and just keeping things simple results in a much freer life and much more free time to re-devote however you’d like.
Professional Non-Negotiables
Many of you will find yourselves in leadership roles at companies, whether they’re yours or someone else’s. Defining some non-negotiables for your entire organization go a long ways towards creating a company culture. Consider these two dueling examples. The first: “Never take your work home with you.” This would encourage employees to concentrate on a healthy work/life balance and communicates to them that there are things in life in addition to work that are important and need time and attention. On the other hand, how about this second one? “Always do what it takes to get the job done, no matter what.” A company where that’s a known non-negotiable might stress performance above all else in a fast-paced or high-pressure environment. The right kind of culture to foster will depend on entirely on the nature of each individual business, but the take-away here is that you should take steps to create the culture you want to exist in your workplace .
These non-negotiables may also govern the ways employees interact with each other—demanding honesty or prohibiting gossiping, for example.
You should also consider non-negotiables in new hires. Again, what’s right depends entirely on your specific situation, but below are a few qualities that will never let you down as you grow your company:
Adaptability
Particularly in a start-up environment, the ability to adopt to new situations, projects, technologies, etc. is invaluable. Adaptability also demonstrates
Being Teachable
Few employees will be perfect the minute they walk through the door. Even if they’re highly qualified, doing the work at your specific company is its own animal, and it takes time and experience to become fully developed in a new role. Employees who can’t be taught become liabilities in the long run. We’ve all known people like this, right? When they’re coached, they either become defensive and take suggestions as personal attacks, or perhaps they seem to take the lesson to heart but it never seems to result in real change. Employees like these are best avoided.
Ability to Communicate
Good employees can communicate well, both face-to-face and in writing. Being unable to write clearly and professionally reflects poorly on your company, but it can also easily result in misinterpretation of crucial information .
Drive
What drives everyone is different, and part of your job as a leader is figuring out what drives each of your employees. However, you’re ideally looking for employees who have an innate desire to achieve things. These are the employees who actively strive to further your mission and to become better at their jobs as opposed to just punching a card and collecting a check.
Empathy
Employees with empathy are easier to manage and work better in teams. Work life can be stressful, and sometimes it’s easy to forget that co-workers, bosses, and customers are all people, and that they’re all just trying to do their jobs and get through the week as best they can. Empathetic employees go about their work with the idea in mind that their performance has real effects on the lives of others.
Relationship Non-Negotiables
If you’re relatively early in your dating career, it’s probably going to take some experience to figure out your non-ne
gotiables. It’s good to have an idea of what you’re looking for, but most people in healthy long-term relationships have had a few terrible ones under their belt. Relationships are both terribly hard and terribly educational.
And what do you do when your partner either wants something different, or has characteristics you’ve deemed incompatible? Well, if these are truly non-negotiable for you, they have to be willing to make a change. If they’re unwilling or incapable, the relationship’s headed for disaster, and you’d probably be best off planning an exit strategy that leaves everyone on good terms. The opposite is also true: if you think something’s non-negotiable for your partner but it’s something you can’t give them, you should talk to them. Nothing about this process is meant to cause unhappiness. Rather, what it’s all about is recognizing the reality of who you are and what you need and then not being afraid to act accordingly. You don’t do anyone any favors when you prolong a relationship that’s ultimately going to leave both parties unhappy. Don’t waste each other’s time.
Breathe: Clean Out Your Closet
This one’s got some action attached to the reflection. It’s time to clean out your closets, both figuratively and literally. Getting rid of old clothes is one of the easiest little corners of life to declutter. You might even start by setting aside the clothes you’re definitely going to keep. (Your non-negotiable wardrobe items!) With stuff you’re on the fence about, ask yourself the following questions:
Does it even fit?
Does it actually look good on me?
Have I worn it in the last six months?
Will I wear it in the next six months?
If you can’t answer “yes” to at least three—preferably four—of these questions, it’s safe to donate. If the thought of doing this makes you nervous, shoot for one bag of old clothes at first. Donate them to a thrift store, and check in with yourself a week later. I’ll bet you any amount of money you won’t be missing the items you donated.
Often we hang on to stuff we used to love that doesn’t really have a place in our life anymore (see a metaphor there?), or things we have some sentimental attachment to. I also keep some things for sentimental value—but not a million. How often do you take these objects out and quietly smile at them, fondly reminiscing? Probably not often. Sometimes people keep things around not because it truly makes them happier to do it, but because they think it will feel bad to say goodbye. But they’re just things . Your memories are not attached to them. You will not forget just because the things are gone. In many cases, those things can go on to live second lives in someone else’s wardrobe, which is a beautiful thing. Instead of gathering dust in your closet, the item will be making someone happy.
While you’re doing this, think about what you’re unwilling to part with—the things in your life that you have to protect at all costs—and the things that, like old clothes, you can leave behind.
Focus: A Friendly Reminder
If your non-negotiables are things you have yet to achieve, you’ll achieve them most quickly when you apply laser-like focus to the effort. And since you’ll already have decided that other pursuits are things you don’t necessary need, you’ll know it will be okay to divert some of that time, money, and energy into making those non-negotiables a reality. Once you’re set up in such a way that you’ve got your non-negotiables covered, you can turn your attention back to other, less pressing things.
Attack: Your Non-Negotiables
It’s time to write some down. It’s not enough to just think about it for a few minutes. Taking the time to put ink to paper, making it concrete, also makes the ideas concrete in your mind. There’s power to physically writing your non-negotiables down, and it might be interesting to return to them months or years from now to see how well you kept them. You can choose the non-negotiables in your everyday life, in your professional life, your romantic life, or all of the above.
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13 . Wright, Colin. “Minimalism Explained.” https://exilelifestyle.com/minimalism-explained.
Chapter Six :
Minimum Viable Product (MVP)
Let’s say your kid comes up to you and proudly announces they want to make a lemonade stand. Awesome , you think. I’m going to encourage this entreprenuerial spirit. Let’s pretend his name is Ralph. You buy a car-load of lemons for Ralph. You’re not just doing Plain Jane yellow lemonade, though—hell no, not for your kid. You buy some other fruit to do infusions, and you’re definitely going to offer pink lemonade. You’re getting excited now, positive you’re setting little Ralph up for success. You have a cute little uniform made, maybe even business cards. You name the business “Ralph’s Craft Lemonade” and have a friend mock up a logo concept. You sink a few hundred bucks into lumber and and construct the sharpest-looking lemonade stand anyone’s ever seen. At last, everything’s done, and you pat Ralph on the back and say, Go get ‘em, Tiger.
Ralph’s meteoric rise to success doesn’t happen. A day later, he’s over it. He hasn’t sold any lemonade at all, and standing in the heat is getting old. Instead of pressing forward until his business turns a profit, he goes inside and enjoys air conditioning and Nintendo.
Well, you blew it. You screwed up your kid’s summer and drained your wallet, and for what? Ralph didn’t need all of that. What he needed was a pitcher of lemonade and maybe a wagon. If he’d dipped his toe in the water and tested both his product and the market, he might’ve learned that nobody in the neighborhood even likes lemonade and that some other beverage would’ve been the wiser choice. Or he might’ve learned that people were interested in buying his lemonade but that offering all those varieties meant he had to charge a dollar for a glass of lemonade and that nobody would pay more than 50 cents. You could’ve taught Ralph a good lesson about market analysis, but instead you taught him that hard work doesn’t pay off.
Ralph needed an MVP—a Minimum Viable Product. In the simplest terms, a Minimum Viable Product is exactly what it sounds like: a product with just enough features to be marketable to your first customers. Entering the playing field with an MVP lets you iterate and improve upon your product based on feedback from customers, experimentation, and data collection. You’re investing only the minimum amount of time and money on a product in its infancy, which minimizes risk and also has the handy byproduct of giving you working capital to further develop the product, should it prove successful. The term rose to prominence in the early 2000s, especially through the work of Eric Ries, who championed the approach in his highly influential book The Lean Startup.
Not all products are going to be winners, and an MVP helps you avoid pouring too many resources into a flop. Most entrepreneurs leave a string of discarded ideas and unpopular products in their wake, and that’s part of the process. We discussed that way back in Chapter 1—most people’s best ideas aren’t their first ideas. For most, hitting the big time will be a process that will involve trial and error, growth through experience, and lessons learned the hard way. Throwing everything behind an unproven idea is a bit like putting all of one’s proverbial eggs in the same basket: if it’s not a booming success, you’re doomed.
The MVP is the “first step” of the business world, and remember: most people never find the conviction to take that first step.
Perhaps the most famous early example of a major company utilizing an MVP is Dropbox. If you don’t know, Dropbox is a service for syncing and transferring files, even very large ones. As you can imagine, developing Dropbox was no small feat. Imagine if they’d churned out a fast, always-on network with proper security and functionality right out of the gate, only to find that nobody was interested in using it or found it too confusing—they would’ve sunk before they started.
There was risk associated with the assumption that there was a market for Dropbox, because no other product like it existed. So, Dropbox’s developers tested the market. Rather than actually doing any coding at all, they produced an explainer video demonstrating how the proposed site would work and ho
w people would interact with it, then spread the video. The response was positive, and the team knew they probably had a hit on their hands, so they charged forward. The rest is history.
Pivoting
Creating your MVP and collecting information through customer responses is only part of the equation. If the response is good, then you’re gold. But what if you learn that your initial assumptions about what would work prove faulty? That’s when it’s time to pivot . Usually, when people talk about pivoting, they’re talking about making changes to your product or service, but technically any segment of a business model can change: it might include costs, customer acquisition strategy, supply chain partners, etc. For our purposes, we’re focusing on pivoting in terms of the core idea of a business.
Pivoting is all about staying limber and adapting to the market, and many ultra-successful companies have known when to do it. Ever been to a Starbucks? The hyper-ubiquitous coffee chain started as a supplier of espresso makers. They’d been in business a full 12 years before they ever tried opening an actual coffee shop and brewing for customers. When that showed signs of being more lucrative than selling machines, they essentially scrapped the first model altogether and poured all of their effort into opening new cafes.
One of my favorites is the photo-sharing website Flickr. Flickr actually started as an online game called Game Neverending, in which players could interact with each other by buying and selling items, traveling the world, chatting, etc. Players also had the ability to upload and share their photos with each other, which proved really popular. Game Neverending’s owners decided to go all-in on photo sharing, rebranded to Flickr, and became a success story.
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