by BJ Wane
Amy pivoted and walked away without another word, but it only took Tamara a few moments to consider her words and conclude she was right. If Con wanted to go back to ‘just friends’ then fine. She wouldn’t waste any more time or energy on the man. She ignored the tight squeeze around her heart as she saddled Galahad and swung up. It would do no good to continue to fret over what she couldn’t change or wish he would change. With a heeled nudge to her steed’s sides, they took off across the sweeping meadow as she tried to work up as much enthusiasm for going to the club tonight as she had for the ride.
Connor pulled up on Dusty’s reins and brought the Palomino to a stop so he could take a moment and watch Tam riding. Bent low over Galahad’s neck, her black hair flying out behind her and her toned thighs gripping the steed’s heaving sides, the two blazed a trail across the wide expanse of pasture. It was a scene he never tired of looking upon.
Every time he thought of the potential harm she could have come to this past week while he’d had his head in the clouds fucking her, his body shook with fear. Losing her was not an option, and if that meant going back to their previous relationship then that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. But, damn, it had been hard, harder than he’d ever imagined. He missed her. Not just her delectable body wrapped around his every night, but the return of their easy comradery, hearing her voice every day, seeing the smile that lit her gray eyes to a silver sheen. All the things he’d missed so much when she’d lived in Boise and refused to talk to him, and he’d grown accustomed to enjoying again.
Nudging Dusty, he rode along the fence line, his job today to look for repairs that needed to get done. He wasn’t surprised to see Caden riding up; his brother had been nagging him daily over this latest rift between him and Tam, calling him everything from a stubborn fool to a pigheaded jackass. Because Caden was right didn’t change the fact he hadn’t been there for Tam when he’d needed to be, that he’d dropped his guard while fucking her. For his peace of mind, he couldn’t afford to make that mistake again.
“Find anything?” Caden asked as he pulled alongside Connor.
“A few loose rails, but I’ve already nailed them back in place.” Connor nodded to the herd grazing in the distance. “We can move quite a few more head into this pasture. There’s enough spring foliage already and the pond is full.”
“Yeah, I was thinking that as I rode out here.” Caden tipped his hat back and squinted toward the late afternoon, lowering sun. “Might as well call it a day. We’ve got time to get cleaned up and eat before heading to the club.”
Connor cut his brother a quick glance as they turned their horses back to the barns. The thought of going to The Barn held no appeal, and he knew what Caden was going to say to that. “I think I’ll pass tonight. I want to check on the plans for repairing the Barton’s stable.” That was the excuse he planned to use for showing up at Tam’s tonight. He hadn’t tried to contact her all week, thinking it best if they each took the time to come to terms with the reversal of their relationship, but his need to see her in person and ensure she wouldn’t pull another silent treatment could no longer be put on hold.
Caden shrugged, as if his decision was no big deal. “Sure, if that’s what you want. You may as well get used to being alone, because you and I both know you won’t be satisfied with anyone else.”
Connor didn’t have a reply to that statement as he wasn’t sure his brother was wrong.
By the time he joined Caden and Sydney for dinner and then returned to his place for a shower, it was after eight when Connor pulled in front of Tam’s house and saw her lit up porch. A familiar thread of excitement coursed through him as he hopped out of the truck, the same thrill he experienced every time he had showed up here to spend the night with her. He tried stifling it as he walked across the lawn toward the stable lit by outdoor floodlights, but that did little good.
The charred side of the stable had been removed and several supporting posts had been erected in its place, securing the roof. Enough progress had been made to ensure the structure’s safety, but he could see the horses were still kept out in the pasture as a precaution. Satisfied they were on a steady track toward final repairs, he pivoted and started back up to the house just as Jason and Amy pulled in behind his truck. He imagined he wasn’t Amy’s favorite person right now, but he couldn’t avoid talking to either of them as they waited outside for him.
Wondering why Tam hadn’t come out, Connor strode up to greet the couple. “Evening. I just stopped by to check on the progress of the stable and talk to Tam. It looks good.” He nodded toward the small barn.
“We were lucky to get a contractor out here right away to assess the damage and he’ll return Monday to start putting up the NE wall,” Jason replied, leaning against his truck and folding his arms across his chest as he eyed Connor with a cool gaze.
Instead of addressing that censuring look, he started to step toward the porch, but Amy halted him in his tracks with one short sentence. “She’s not here.”
Frowning, he whipped his eyes to her smug face. “Where is she?”
Cocking her head, she replied in a tone that indicated he should know the answer to that question. “She went to your club. You didn’t expect her to sit around here just because you two split up, did you?”
Connor jerked as if struck. He never imagined Tam would return to the club without him, not after what they had shared together. How could he have forgotten the girl never behaved the way he thought she should? “I see,” he returned stiffly, not liking the thought of her with someone else. What? Did you expect her to pine away for you forever? He hadn’t thought ahead, to what she might do or whom she might turn to next. His only concern had been for her welfare and safety, like always.
Amy’s face softened, and she reached out to lay a comforting hand on his rigid arm. “We both know our girl very well, Connor. It broke our hearts, Richard and I, when she accepted that job in Boise after moping around here for weeks, even though we tried to stay supportive when she first mentioned applying for it. We missed her, even though she came back a lot, it wasn’t the same around here without her.” She shook her head ruefully. “I venture to say she returned more during that time than you knew. She usually tells me everything, but she’s kept quiet about whatever happened that prompted her to make that decision.”
Connor glanced at Jason’s silent, rigid stance and then back at Tam’s stepmother with a resigned sigh. “I said something… hurtful, without thinking. I didn’t mean it, but the damage was done, and she refused to let me apologize. But that was different. Back then, we weren’t involved.”
A low laugh shook Amy’s shoulders. “Oh, Connor, you two have always been involved, in one form or another. She’s as stubborn as you in some regards. I’m guessing something happened that made you see her in a different way, a way you weren’t ready for, or didn’t want. You love her. It’s time you admitted that. Past time,” she chided gently.
He frowned. “I’ve never denied I love her, Amy.”
“Okay, I’ll rephrase that. You’re in love with her now.” Dropping her hand, she said, “Question is, what are you going to do about it? Maybe, if you had told her you were in your new relationship for the long haul, that she wasn’t just another in a long line of short affairs, she might have been more comfortable sharing her burdens with you, and you would’ve known what was happening. You weren’t around for her in Boise, and she got along fine without you, or us. I’m sure she’ll do so again.”
Amy left him standing there in surprise at the cool rebuke in her tone and words, wondering if she was right. Was he as much at fault because of his lack of communication as he blamed her for? How could he fault Tam, and the change in their relationship he’d succumbed to for his failure to watch out for her when he was just as guilty of not being up front with her?
“I do,” he called out as Amy and Jason strolled up the steps to the house.
Jason was the one who turned his head and asked, “You do, what?”
&
nbsp; “Love her, am in love with her.”
The foreman cocked an eyebrow. “Then I suggest you do something about it before you lose her again, this time for good.”
Chapter 13
“Men,” Nan scoffed. “Can’t live with them, don’t want to live without them.”
Tamara sipped the beer Caden had handed her with a knowing look of support, peering at her friend over the bottle. Seated at a table with BDSM play taking place upstairs and down, the two of them had turned down several offers to play, Nan offering to stay by her side and keep her company for as long as Tamara wanted. At least she was one friend who didn’t turn her back on her when confronted with feelings she didn’t want to acknowledge, like someone else she was trying so hard not to think about.
“You are so right, Nan. I’m going to miss you. How long did you say you’ll be gone?”
Nan grinned. “Just a few weeks. I haven’t been back to New Orleans since Christmas and Jay misses me.”
“How is he? Is your brother still single?” Tamara injected a teasing, hopeful note into her voice.
Laughing, Nan raised her beer in a salute. “Now you’re thinking, girlfriend. Too bad Jay is now a diehard New Orleanian. We’re as close as siblings can get, yet he’s only made the trip to Willow Springs once to visit me since I inherited Gram’s shop.”
“But he grew up here with you. Doesn’t he miss Willow Springs? I did when I left.” Tamara remembered Nan’s older brother as a good looking, friendly teen before he’d gone off to college and then settled in Louisiana, where Nan’s parents had retired to before they’d both died in a car accident.
“Sure, but like a lot of young people itching to see the world beyond Montana, he left without intending to return permanently.”
Tamara let her eyes wander up to the loft as she heard a strident cry, a sigh of despondency escaping her as she spotted Avery bound on the St. Andrew Cross, Master Grayson running his hands over her quivering, glistening body. “Too bad I can’t take off from the new job yet, otherwise I could go with you for a few days,” she stated, sliding her gaze away from the look of contented pleasure reflected on her friend’s face.
Nan’s frown turned fierce. “Don’t you let that moron drive you away again. I swear, if you do, I’ll come after both of you.”
“Whoa, what or who has you showing your claws?” Master Dan asked as he, Greg and Devin strolled up to their table.
“Go away.” Nan waved her hand holding the beer. “We’re not doing men tonight.”
“Girls? Can we watch?” Master Greg wanted to know with an eager glint in his eyes.
Tamara laughed and Nan rolled her eyes. “Sorry to disappoint you, but not girls either,” Tamara quipped, liking the way the two business partners and best friends were looking at her. It helped her ego to know other men found her attractive and wanted her, even for just a few hours, and helped dispel her gloom. Her face warmed from the appreciative light in their eyes as they took in her short black skirt paired with a soft gray satin tank that draped around the shape of her braless breasts. Unfortunately, the rest of her body remained cold to the thought of baring herself for another’s touch.
Dan fisted his hands on his hips and narrowed his dark chocolate eyes. “What has the two of you sitting here pouting?”
“We’re not pouting, just not in the mood to play,” Nan returned with a lift of one slim brow.
Tamara flicked her a quick look and saw the lust her friend always exhibited toward Master Dan. She knew the two were good friends outside the club and that he was the one Dom Nan enjoyed playing with on a regular basis. Wearing a calf-length, sheer sheath that revealed her turgid nipples and every dip of her curves, it was obvious to Tamara that Nan would be engaged in a scene with him, or someone else by now if she wasn’t sitting here with her.
Feeling guilty, she nudged her with her foot under the table. “Go on, Nan. You don’t need to sit here and keep me company.”
“Not when we’d be happy to,” Master Devin said.
Master Dan held out his hand to Nan. She took it but cast Tamara a concerned look before rising. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, go.” She waved her on and Greg and Devin joined her at the table as they walked off.
Left alone with the two Doms, Tamara tried to drum up some enthusiasm for their company. Who wouldn’t be thrilled with the attention of two men who could make a girl cream her panties with just a look? But if her melancholy and disinterest the past hour was any indication, the one short week Connor had indulged her craving for more of him had ruined her for anyone else, at least for the time being. Instead of admitting she wouldn’t change her mind about pairing up with anyone tonight, she started to tell Master Greg and Master Devin she planned to leave early when the words lodged in her throat as Connor walked in.
With a startled jerk, Tamara’s body went hot and damp with a yearning so strong it left her shaken. Tears pricked the back of her eyes as she watched him cross the room in that cocky, loose-limbed stride, wearing his usual snug jeans and the same leather vest she’d seen him in before. With all that bare, tanned skin and those bulging muscles displayed, was it any wonder he drew so many female eyes his way?
“It looks like we’ll have to set our sights on another sub,” Master Greg drawled, his green eyes shifting from Tamara’s flushed face to Connor as he approached their table.
Master Devin cocked his head at Connor, leaning back in his chair with nonchalance as he brought his bourbon filled glass to his lips before greeting his friend. “I heard you weren’t coming out tonight.”
Connor shrugged and looked at Tamara. “I changed my mind when I heard my sub planned to be here.” Holding out his hand, his blue eyes softened with appeal as he said, “Come with me please.”
Tamara stiffened, trying her best to resist him. “Why?” she asked, stalling for time to get herself under control since they both knew she would cave.
“I’d like to tell you a story. It’s a favorite of mine.”
“I’m not in the mood for a story,” she returned, despite the rapid beat of her heart urging her to take his hand.
“You’ll like this one, I promise. Please, little one.”
How did I ever think I could move on without him? It was more than physical attraction, although there was no denying the tug of those feelings. She already throbbed and he hadn’t even touched her yet. With a sigh of resignation, she flicked the other two men an apologetic glance.
“Excuse me, please.” As difficult as it was, she ignored Connor’s outstretched hand as she stood and looked up at him. “I’ll listen to your story and then I’m leaving.” She wanted to stay a part of his life, but she wouldn’t leave herself open to get hurt again, no matter his good intentions.
Connor nodded, rested a hand on her lower back and prodded her forward as he said, “Thanks, guys.”
Without answering him, Devin told Tamara, “Look us up if you decide to stay longer.”
The urge to go all caveman, toss Tam… Tamara over his shoulder and take her back to his place rushed through Connor the minute he spotted her sitting with Greg and Devin. The way her pewter eyes turned wary and she’d stiffened as she looked up at him had hurt, more so because her reaction was his fault and justified. He’d been blind and resistant to change for way too long, and he prayed he wasn’t too late to set things right between them.
As they reached the stairs to the loft, she paused and gave him another skeptical glance. “Why are we going upstairs if you want to talk?”
“Because I have this craving to touch you as well,” he admitted honestly as he snatched her hand and tugged.
Her eyes sparked with excitement before cooling, a small sign that gave him hope. “Connor…”
“We’re in the club, sweetie, so that’s Master Connor.” Ignoring her scowl at the endearment, he trotted upstairs and didn’t pause until they reached a chain station. Reaching for the back zipper on her skirt, he began his narrative. “Once upon a time there w
as a cocky eighteen-year-old who had already sampled his share of girls and was looking forward to college.”
Tugging the skirt down, she grasped his shoulders, snorting softly. “Let me guess. You?”
Connor pinched her bare thigh as she stepped out of the skirt. “Quiet and listen.” Whipping her top over her head, he tossed it down and lifted her arms to the dangling cuffs. “One afternoon, he volunteered to assist in the riding ring at the county fair, looked up and saw the prettiest little kid struggling to hold her seat.” Tam’s eyes went molten as he secured her wrists and ran his hands down the underside of her arms, over her shoulders and cupped her soft breasts. She bit her lip, and he knew she wanted to resist him as much as she yearned for more of both his tale and his touch. His fragile hope just edged toward blossoming success.
“The young girl’s wide eyes were filled with fear, but her small chin was rigid with fierce determination.” He rasped her nipples with his thumbs, and she swayed toward him with a low moan. “He admired the young girl’s grit in the face of her terror, wondered how the hell she’d reached the age of ten in ranch country without being on a horse and found himself dashing to her rescue as she lost her grip.” Dipping his head, he licked over each nipple before lifting his eyes up to her flushed face. “Thus began a friendship he never imagined would grow into an obsession to see to this girl’s every need, including ensuring her safety and happiness.”
“C… Master Con,” she breathed, her eyes softening to a silver glow. “I…”
A wicked, teasing grin replaced Con’s serious expression as he swatted right between Tamara’s legs, the sudden hot pain covering her bare labia causing her to jerk in the bonds. Her thick cream spilled from her swollen lips and she didn’t know what she wanted more of – his touch or his story.
Running his hands down her quivering abdomen, he slid between her thighs and cupped her throbbing pussy. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, this young man appointed himself the little girl’s guardian, protector and friend.” He slid two fingers inside her and her head fell back as she jutted her pelvis into his marauding hand. “He taught her to ride and jump, encouraged her to compete, sat with her family and glowed with pride when she won championships.”