Mangled Hearts

by Felicia Tatum

  “Hello?” I said into the phone, my voice husky from sleep.

  “Wake up. I’m coming over,” Daphne practically shouted in my ear.

  Groaning, I sat up, looking at the clock. “It’s not even eight, and it’s Sunday. Go back to bed,” I demanded, about to push end.

  “I’m bringing Bree and Ally, be ready in twenty,” she shouted. It was like she could see through the phone sometimes.

  I slammed it down beside me, covering my face with my arm. I’d been stupid and texted Cade. Daphne told me not to. She demanded I promise and everything, but I did it anyway. And what happened? Nothing. He didn’t reply. He ignored me. He had sex with me and ignored me. I was an idiot to think he cared about me in the first place. Tears threatened to spill again, but I held them back. I would be strong. I wasn’t going to let him get to me like this. It wasn’t worth it. No man was….was he?

  I quickly showered, throwing on some sweats and a T-shirt. I didn’t get to dress comfortably very often, and I was taking advantage of it on the weekends. Yesterday, after Daphne dropped me off at home, interrogated and lectured me, I’d showered and lay on the couch. I watched The Notebook, not a good choice, and other sappy movies all day while Hamlet kept me company. I’d cried. I’d gotten angry. I did every cliché thing that women did when rejected by a man she had strong feelings for. I wasn’t sure if I still loved Cade, but the instant his lips had touched mine, all the feelings had come rushing back. I knew now I did. I probably always would. It was pointless, it would end up with me in pain I was sure, but I couldn’t stop it. How do you just turn off your feelings for someone? It seemed men could do it, but could they really? Or were they just better actors? Perhaps they could mask their feelings much better than we could. I wiped the tear sliding down my cheek away and headed to the kitchen to make refreshments for my impending company.

  The doorbell rang. It was odd, no one ever used it. I peeked out from the curtain, seeing little Ally jumping up and down, trying to push it again. Laughing, I opened the door and welcomed them in. Ally rushed to me, throwing her little arms around my waist.

  “Auntie Francesca! Mommy said you have a kitty,” the precious five year old said excitedly.

  I couldn’t be sad around this joy, and I smiled widely, nodding. “Yep, I sure do. His name is Hamlet. Come with me and we’ll go find him,” I said, waving to my friends before going off to search for Hammy.

  Ally asked me a million questions about cats, about my house, about my job, about the chair in the corner. The energy flowing from this child seemed to never end. It was contagious and exhausting at the same time. After looking everywhere for Hammy, I finally resorted to shaking the food bag to get his attention. He came running, his head still hidden behind the bowl. I would be able to take it off in just a few more days. Thanks goodness, poor cat ran into everything with it on. He strutted in, meowing loudly as his eyes surveyed Ally. He determined she wasn’t a threat and moved forward to sniff her. Loud giggles could be heard throughout my house, making Bree and Daphne come to check what was so funny.

  Bree stood at the kitchen entry, watching Hammy try to rub his head up and down Ally’s leg, wrapping his tail around her feet. She thought this was hilarious and laughed the whole time.

  “They’re getting acquainted,” I explained, holding back my own giggles.

  “He likes me, Mommy,” Ally exclaimed, her eyes wide as she stared at Bree.

  “I see that, baby girl,” Bree chuckled. She directed her next question to me. “What is that thing on his head?”

  “Well, he was hurt when I found him, so the vet put that on him to keep him from messing with his wounds while they healed.”

  “Ooooh,” she drew out. She watched her daughter and my cat play and snuggle each other, then motioned for me to follow her. I did, noticing Daphne stayed behind. Wonder what this was about? She led me to the living room, sitting on the couch and patting the spot beside her.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, genuinely worried something bad was happening. “Is something going on with you? Ally?” Panic started to seize me.

  “No, no. Calm down. Daphne just said you may want to talk. She wouldn’t tell me what happened, but I gathered it had something to do with that extremely sexy guy that rescued you from baby batter the other night?” Her golden brown eyes were full of mischief and batted furiously at me.

  I couldn’t stop the laughter from erupting. “Yes, it does have to do with him. His name is Cade, by the way.”

  “Cade…what a sexy name…like a romance hero or something,” she sighed.

  “Sadly, he’s hardly a hero,” I choked out, holding back my sob. “I don’t think he cares about me at all.”

  Her hand found my knee, giving me a gentle squeeze. “Why would you say that? He was so jealous that guy had his hands on you. I could see the love he has for you on his face, in his eyes.”

  “He doesn’t love me, Bree. Far from it. He may desire me, but he definitely doesn’t love me,” I sobbed, letting my sadness escape.

  She pulled me in for a hug, rubbing circles on my back. “Tell me.”

  “Friday night, he wanted to hang out, and I was so scared and against it, but I caved and went. We had a great time. Went out to eat, rode on a motorcycle, stole a bench, then we got back to his place. He told me he had feelings for me and we ended up sleeping together. I’m such an idiot. He used me, Bree. He pretended to be sick or something to get me out there. I haven’t heard from him since. And his brother came to get him, so I called him to find out if he was ok, but he won’t answer either,” my voice cracked and choked on my words. The tears rolled down my face, creating streaks to show my pain.

  Bree’s eyes were wide as she stared at me. “Oh, honey,” she cried, hugging me tighter. “I’m so sorry. You can’t think like this though. Why would he lie to you?” she inquired.

  “I don’t know. To get me in bed?” I suggested.

  “Has he tried it before?” she asked, the shock evident.

  “Well…no. Why else would he be ignoring me?” I pulled away, finding a tissue to wipe my nose and my face with.

  “Maybe he really was sick. He could be in the hospital, he could be in bed resting, anything. You don’t know. Stop assuming this stuff, Francesca. Be positive for once. You are beautiful, smart, and just a wonderful woman. Ally adores you, your friends love you, and I’m sure Cade does too,” she told me, smiling widely.

  My eyes cast down as I thought of her words. “Thanks, Bree,” I said quietly.

  “You love him, too, don’t you?” she asked gently.

  I nodded, sniffling. I pulled imaginary lint of my sweats, smoothed my hair, rolled up the tissue. Anything to avoid this conversation.

  “Does he know?” she pushed.

  “No. I can’t tell him. He’s my client, Bree. What am I going to do? I had sex with my client!” I exclaimed.

  “What’s sex?” a small voice asked behind me.

  Bree gave me a look that could kill. I clasped my hands over my mouth, not knowing what to do. I turned slowly, seeing Ally’s eyes wide and curious. She looked exactly like Bree: same golden brown eyes, light brown hair that had a slight wave, and the same downturned nose that was adorable on them both. She looked at me expectantly and I realized I hadn’t answered her question.

  “Sweetie…umm…it’s not for little girl’s to know about,” I stuttered out.

  “Mommy will tell you when you’re older. Just forget you heard that,” Bree said, smiling and waving her hand playfully in the air. “Where’s Aunt Daphne and the kitty?”

  Nice save, I mouthed to her.

  “Daphne told me to come get Franny Girl,” she giggled, hiding her face behind her mouth. “Don’t tell her I told you, but she gave me a dollar to call you that,” she confessed, downright giddy about a dollar.

  I chuckled, holding my arms out for a hug. Her sweet arms surrounded me, instantly comforting me.
“It’s ok. I’ll give you five dollars if you don’t call me that again,” I said excitedly.

  “Yay!!!!” she said, running through the room and back to the kitchen.

  “Don’t run,” Bree called after her, shaking her head at me. “I can’t believe you bribed my kid.”

  I shrugged. “Daphne did it first,” I pointed out.

  “You two are awful. Bribing a five year old with money,” she scolded.

  I laughed, giving her another quick hug. “Sorry I said s-e-x and your child heard it,” I apologized.

  “It’s ok. Try to not scream it out so loudly next time,” she said, giving me the warning motherly facial expression. All moms had it. Did it come with giving birth or something?

  “I promise. I will only spell from now on.”

  “You know she’ll learn to spell soon, right?” she said sarcastically.

  “Then we’ll learn sign language or something,” I said through gritted teeth. “You’re making this apology difficult.”

  She laughed and stood, “I’m messing with you. Now, we better go check on your cat. I don’t know that Daphne is watching them since she’s busy putting Ally up to stuff.”

  “Hammy!” I said, rushing to the kitchen. I walked in, seeing cat treats littering the floor and Hammy desperately trying to pick them up, but his bowl kept colliding with the floor. Daphne sat in the chair, cracking up, and Ally kept trying to give him more. She didn’t understand why he wasn’t eating them. I gave Daphne a glare and bent to Ally’s level.

  “Ally, he can’t pick them up. See this on his head,” I pointed to the device, “it’s stopping him from reaching the floor. You’ll have to hold your hand out and let him eat out of it. He doesn’t need this many though,” I said, picking up most of the treats and stuffing them back in the bag. Turning to Daphne, I strode over, whispering, “what are you doing?”

  She shrugged, grinning, “Trying to make you happier. Did it work?”

  I looked around, seeing Ally playing with and feeding Hammy, Bree watching them amused, and I realized I did feel better. I felt happier. I didn’t know what was going on with Cade, but it didn’t matter. He either loved me or he didn’t. I wouldn’t be able to change the outcome. I couldn’t make him care about me. And I did care about him, so I didn’t regret anything. Seeing him in court Friday could potentially be awkward, but I was a lawyer and I would be professional. I smiled at Daphne, leaning in to hug her, “I do feel better. Thank you.”

  “Anytime. I knew Ally would be able to get you to smile, Franny Girl.”

  “I took care of that. I’m giving her five to not call me that.”

  “She told me. I raised it to ten. She also told me what you said. Asked what it meant,” she snorted.

  “Hush,” I demanded, feeling the blush rising on my cheeks. “I didn’t know she was in there.”

  “It’s ok, she’s probably already forgotten about it.”

  “Yeah…” I hoped she had. We spent the rest of the morning talking and playing. They definitely helped me to get my mind off of Cade.