Cade’s First Month of Rehab
Rehab wasn’t what I expected. The meetings, all the talking, it was difficult to get accustomed to. I went to meetings every day, sometimes more than one. Cason visited once a week, usually bringing Mom with him, but Pops wasn’t happy. During our family meeting, the counselors had informed him they all were my enablers. He didn’t like that much and stormed out. I hadn’t heard from him since. I wasn’t sure if I cared, honestly. I thought of Francesca every day. We wrote letters weekly, keeping the other informed of progress regarding my treatment and her grand opening. I anticipated her mail, though I didn’t want anyone to know just how important hearing from her was. Knowing that she was thinking about me, missing me, kept me sane. I still wanted alcohol, and according to the people I talked to every day, it would be a constant issue to deal with for the rest of my life. I was working on learning new ways to handle any problems I faced. It was hard, but no one ever claimed it was a walk in the park. Reid visited me every day. The guy wasn’t so bad, now that I wasn’t half dead. His cheery personality was contagious. I wanted to be that happy. To love my life so much that no one could bring me down. I knew I was on the right path. I just wasn’t sure how long it would take me to get there.
A knock on the door distracted me from the television. “Come in,” I called.
Reid sauntered in, a huge smile adorning his face as usual. “Hey, Cade! I brought the mail,” he taunted, waving it in the air.
I knew there was a letter in there. He was the only one that really knew about Francesca. All the doctors and counselors stressed to not start anything serious while in rehab. In reality, it started nine years ago, so there wasn’t any rule or advice breaking. “Reid…can I have it, please?” I inquired, giving him a stern look.
“I dunno. Wanna tell me how many times you’ve wanted a drink today?”
“Four. Now, give it to me,” I commanded, reaching my hand out.
“Four isn’t so bad. Not as many as yesterday,” he smiled, placing the treasure in my grasp.
“Thanks, man. Now get out so I can read it,” I chuckled.
“I’ll be back later. Enjoy,” he called, leaving me alone.
I ripped the envelope open, peeling out the delicately folded paper. Her handwriting reflected her, soft and gentle, but you could see the passion in each stroke. She used different paper each time. Each contained a flower of some sort. I’d never realized she enjoyed flowers so much, but I made a mental note to get her lots of them once we had time together. I considered having Cason order some for me, from me, as a “thinking-of-you” surprise. I unfolded the letter, sitting back in the seat to devour every word.
Cade,
I hope you’re doing well. Your last letter was wonderful, thank you so much. I’m going to answer your questions first. Yes, Hamlet is fine. He’s been having playdates with Ally and the two of them are adorable. The plans for the firm are coming along nicely. The office I’ve chosen won’t be ready for another month and a half, so I’m working on getting everything in order. Zander, I’ll tell you about him in a minute, is anxious to start working for me. He’s even been talking to people and getting us clients! My mom and I went furniture shopping yesterday and I found the most amazing cherry oak desk. I put a down payment on it. It was gorgeous, Cade. My office is going to be so amazing! I can’t wait until you can see it. I can’t wait until I can go there every day and do what I’ve always wanted to.
The lawsuit is at a standstill. J & B Law Firm is refusing to acknowledge the paperwork I sent to them. They don’t realize Zander will testify for me if it comes to that. I pray it doesn’t, though. I am in the process of finding past female workers to see if similar things were said to them.
Zander was the receptionist at the firm. He’s working on becoming a paralegal so he can do that while he works through law school. He’s also Mr. Phillips’ great-nephew. I didn’t know that until he quit right in front of me. He’s a good worker and I think it will be great opening an office with someone I know there to support me.
Now, I want to know about you. Cason calls every time he visits with your messages. I love that, by the way. It’s not the same as talking to you, but his voice is similar, so it’s easy to close my eyes and let my mind believe you’re speaking to me. I can’t believe your dad had them take away phone privileges. If I had enough money saved, I would take over the payments just so he wouldn’t have that sort of control. It’s not like you’re in prison. I really don’t understand him, Cade. I hope you’ll explain more about that relationship sometime.
I found an old picture of us from the dance. Do you remember that night? I wanted you to go so badly, but I convinced myself you wouldn’t. My heart stopped when you spoke up behind me. Anyway, the picture was in an old box under my bed. Unfortunately, it has a few rips on the edges. Luckily, I have the negative for it. Can’t believe we didn’t have digital cameras then.
I’m going to tell you something no one else knows. I’ve had nightmares about Josie’s death for years. Every night. I think a lot of it was because people led me to believe you were driving that night…once I learned the truth, the nightmares have become less frequent. I’ve also started back with my therapist. I want to work on myself. I need to move past my sister’s death, even though it hurts. It’s time to live for both of us.
I must stop the letter here. Daphne keeps calling wanting to help decorate my office. I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t want everything to be pink and black, so I’m not sure how I’m going to get out of this one. She’s wonderful, though. I can’t wait until you two can get to know each other better. My two favorite people. Hammy says hello…err, meow, I mean.
I miss you more than I ever imagined, Cade. I think of you every day. I pray you get better, stay strong, and become the man you want to be…the man I know you already are. I can’t wait for us to be together, and see just how spectacular we can be as a team. Until next time…
Xoxo
Francesca
The smile I held was a mile wide. She made me happy. Nothing in the letter was overly fantastic, but all of it was amazingly wonderful. Knowing she was doing what she’d always dreamed of, and finally being able to deal with her sister’s death warmed my heart. I longed to hear her voice, but it wouldn’t be much longer. As frustrating as it was to only write to her, it held a romantic quality about it that was undeniable. Rummaging around my room, I found my pad of paper and pen, sitting to start my letter back to her.
Mangled Hearts Page 30