The Accidental Astronaut

by Matthew K Wyers

  “What fateful day?” asked Darbian.

  “The day I discovered them.” Halinkoy walked over to a control panel set up by the Tammeder and investigated their work. “I’m a scientist by trade, Warden. I have a background in a variety of disciplines: geology, theoretical physics, aerospace engineering, and even botany.”

  Darbian sneered. “Well, that's magnificent."

  “You should be impressed,” responded Halinkoy. “I am, by far, the smartest human ever to live. You should be honored to meet me.”

  “I already told you I was,” Darbian said. “But I’d be more impressed if you told me how the Tammeder came to follow you.”

  “I suppose you would,” said Halinkoy. “I should start from the beginning, however. Besides being the planet’s top scientist, I was interested in making the world a better place. Why not, eh? If I had to be stuck on that forsaken rock then I suppose I should be concerned about its well-being. So I attempted to draw people to my cause, people who could understand the human race was underachieving and, therefore, should have their ways altered. Some followed me. Others called me a false messiah.”

  “What you’re saying is you founded a cult?” Darbian looked up.

  “A cult? Ha! So cynical you are, devoid of vision. It’s no wonder your corps has perished. No imagination. You think you understand how the universe works. You think the order of things is something to be examined and accepted. I suppose nothing escapes your gaze as long as someone hands it to you on a platter.” Halinkoy continued to investigate the control panel.

  “What would you call it?” Darbian asked.

  “A society of the enlightened and the wise. We built a community in England at first. After a few years, their government persecuted us and chased us out of the country. We went to South America and eventually the same thing happened. Then to an island in the South Pacific where we finally had some peace, some opportunity to work on our endeavors. But fate had us there for a purpose. Yes, and it wasn’t to make the discoveries that would save Earth. No, it was there we found the power to destroy.” Halinkoy put his hands together and squeezed.

  “What does that mean?” Darbian’s ears perked up.

  “It means that once our plans are cemented, we’ll return to Earth and annihilate it. Just as we annihilated the Wardein. Just as we’ll annihilate this planet and any other that impedes our family realizing our potential. The universe cannot survive without our intervention, Darbian. You can’t see that by now? The wars, the villains, the natural disasters, all the utter chaos. The order of the universe is not to be accepted as it is.” Halinkoy pounded his fist on the panel in front of him. “We must remake the order, an order that suits us best.”

  Darbian shuddered. “How does destroying anyone prevent war and chaos?”

  Halinkoy approached Darbian again and pulled Darbian’s head back by his hair. “We destroy the unworthy. Haven’t you been listening?”

  “And you get to decide who’s worthy and who isn’t?” Darbian said as he was being manhandled.

  “Of course, I decide. The universe chose me…it granted me the power to decide. So why not me?” Halinkoy threw Darbian’s head against the column and then released him.

  Darbian shook his head. “Tell me, Halinkoy. Why Earth? Why would you destroy a planet like that? They can’t stop you.”

  “They had their chance, and they didn’t follow me. That tiny little world…they could have been so much more, but they chose insignificance and I’ll grant it to them. Earth is a meaningless world, and I outgrew it a long time ago. Don’t worry, Darbian. I’ll see that your death precedes that of Earth if you care for it. Compassion is important, you know.” Halinkoy turned his back again.

  “They’re going to destroy Earth,” said Hannelore.

  “There is no safe place, Gregorical. Not Earth,” said Micah

  “We’ll have to find another planet. Fortunately, there are many suitable planets in the universe,” Gregorical stated as he plotted a course for a planet far away from Halinkoy.

  “We can’t go into hiding, Gregorical. What about our families? What about Earth?” Micah breathed heavily.

  “And what about Darbian?” cried Hannelore.

  “I am under orders from Darbian, my children. It would be inappropriate to disobey my commanding officer,” Gregorical said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

  Micah hit the control panel with both fists. “What about that hope? You said you still had hope.”

  “Darbian wouldn’t leave us. That’s for sure!” Hannelore said as she tried to hold back tears.

  “We have to do something. No one is safe.” Micah spun around. “It’s the Star Force creed. ‘Have Courage, Have Strength, Protect the Innocent,’” he said.

  Gregorical interjected. “Children…please.”

  “Darbian saved us! Now, we have to be there to save him. We have to try.” Micah looked up at the ceiling as he was in the habit of doing when he wanted to speak to Gregorical. “We have to at least try! Gregorical, please.”

  Gregorical brought up a schematic of the Grand Hall on his main screen. “Children…if we are to try, then we must have a plan. We must have the element of surprise. We are one ship against an army.”

  “You said it needed to be done,” said Darbian as he stared at the floor. “You want to be a god because it needs to be done? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I’m sure it doesn’t make sense to you. You’ve probably never experienced anything but tranquility in your time, a superb and comfortable life I imagine,” Halinkoy said.

  “You imagine wrong then,” replied Darbian.

  Halinkoy approached Darbian once again. “Tell me Warden, what sort of chaos have you seen?”

  “Other than my brethren being taken from this universe? Where would you like me to begin?” Darbian said.

  Halinkoy laughed. “You should thank me for that. It was the first step in protecting this universe from itself.”

  “You didn’t answer the question,” Darbian glared back up.

  “Isn’t it obvious to you Warden? The universe needs a master. Oh sure, some believe in other realms and some higher power, but it’s all a fairy tale.” Halinkoy folded his arms behind his back.

  “You think the universe needs a master? Seems to be running fine on its own,” said Darbian.

  “Really now? Then why did the Council create the Wardein? Because the universe was running just fine on its own? You’re not that stupid,” Halinkoy replied.

  Darbian leered to his side. “I thought you believed the Wardein were part of the problem?”

  “I never said that, Warden. Your order was weak. That's what I said. The Wardein were wholly incapable of managing all the terrors that the universe could throw at them,” Halinkoy said.

  Darbian pursed his lips. “Then why destroy us?”

  “There can only be one master, Warden. Only one can rule and it should naturally be the most worthy,” Halinkoy replied.

  Darbian raised his eyebrow. “You’re a piece of work.”

  Halinkoy slapped Darbian, nearly knocking him unconscious. “Where were you when my family was taken from me? Where were any of you?”

  Darbian sniffed and took a deep breath to regain his composure.

  “Heroes? Hardly.” Halinkoy kicked a fallen stone and launched it into what remained of the wall.

  Darbian refocused. “What happened to you?

  “What happened to me?” Halinkoy paused. “I was just a boy. My parents were killed in a hurricane. An act of God they called it. Only a cruel God would act in such a way, but I soon discovered there was no such being. There was no one to comfort me, no one to protect me when my parents were gone. I was all alone. I shifted from home to home, foster care they called it…another miserable invention of the humans. If it weren’t for my brilliance, I would have fallen by the wayside. Eventually, I made a life for myself and rose above my circumstances. It took time, but I made peace with it all. I came to understand that Mo
ther Nature is harsh, but at least she’s fair.”

  “I’m sorry that happened to you,” replied Darbian.

  “And that’s the answer to your question Warden. Why must I become a god? There’s no one else to do it.” Halinkoy plodded off.

  Gregorical searched his databanks for strategies on dealing with insurmountable odds. Despite great trouble in finding a similar situation, he came across an example.

  “So you’ve got a plan, right?” Micah said as he slapped his hands together.

  “It’s reckless, frankly, but I found something that might work.” Gregorical brought up a file on his main screen.

  “So we'll need a little luck is what you’re saying?” Hannelore replied.

  “Luck is an imaginary construct my child. There’s no such thing,” Gregorical didn’t quite have the capacity to relate to humans. He had only recently met humans for the first time, however, so there was no point in blaming him.

  “My Irish granddad would beg to differ,” Hannelore retorted.

  Gregorical continued. “On screen now is a diagram of a sneak attack by two Wardein many centuries ago. It involved worm holing into a building from the orbit of the planet. It’s even more reckless than the Tammeder ships worm holing into orbit from a great distance. If I make the wrong move, then we’ll all be vaporized.”

  “I wonder if that would be painful?” Hannelore offered.

  “Exceedingly,” replied Gregorical.

  Micah pointed to the schematic of the Grand Hall. “But it might work, right?”

  “It might work, my child,” said Gregorical.

  “So we wormhole in and, Gregorical, you shoot the soldiers with your lasers? That sounds easy,” Hannelore shrugged her shoulders.

  “No, it’s not that easy. My lasers are made from the same technology that powers Darbian’s wrist weapon. His laser was completely ineffective against Halinkoy’s suit and I estimate that the likelihood of the Tammeder armor being made of the same material is 93.5%. We must come up with something else,” said Gregorical.

  “What if we ram him?” Micah grabbed Hannelore’s shoulder.

  Hannelore’s face brightened. “Right, we could knock him over like bowling pins.”

  “I’m afraid not. It is unknown what material Halinkoy’s armor is made of. It’s possible he could crack my hull,” replied Gregorical.

  Hannelore placed her hands over her cheeks. “What if we knock the building down on top of him? That would at least slow him down.”

  Gregorical’s tone soured. “And Darbian would likely not survive that, my dear.”

  Within an instant, an alarm rang out inside the ship. The sound pierced the children’s ears. Red lights were flashing and from the ceiling sprung weapons on robotic arms.

  “A temporal displacement has been detected. An intruder is aboard the ship,” Gregorical said.

  A new schematic appeared on the main screen, this one a chart of Gregorical’s interior.

  A blinking red dot showed where the intruder was located.

  Whoever it was had penetrated the docking bay.

  “What?” shouted Micah.

  “That’s all we need!” said Hannelore

  “It’s logical to conclude the ship has been boarded by a time traveler,” replied Gregorical. “Children, for your safety, please follow the glowing red arrows to a secure room at the heart of the ship. I will try to vacate our intruder using extreme tactics.”

  The children followed the arrows. They ran down the hall as fast as the sharp corners would allow them.

  Just as Micah made the last turn to approach the safe room, he caught something peculiar out of the corner of his eye. “It’s a Warden.”

  “It’s a what?” replied Hannelore.

  “I saw a Warden. He moved around the corner as soon as I saw him.” Micah stopped and stared down the hallway. “I think we need to follow him.”

  “Are you crazy? What if it’s Aculpus? He’s the only other Warden out there! What if he’s followed us to finish us off?” Hannelore’s knees knocked together.

  “No,” Micah whispered. “He doesn’t want to hurt us. Aculpus would chase us. It’s almost like this one is hiding from us.” Micah turned away from the red arrows and followed the mystery figure.

  “Children, I must insist that you return to the safe room. I do not know the identity of the intruder,” Gregorical said.

  Hannelore jetted after Micah. “I get in more trouble following you around.”

  Micah chased the figure around a few corners before the person he saw disappeared behind a wall.

  An alarm rang out once again.

  “Temporal displacement detected. The intruder appears to have left the ship,” said Gregorical.

  Micah slowed down and walked around the wall where he last saw the mystery figure. He spied an object on the ground. “What’s this?”

  “What’s what?” replied Hannelore.

  Micah stooped down to get a closer look at what appeared to be a large gun lying on the floor.

  Hannelore tried to pull Micah back. “Don’t touch it Micah! Why can’t boys be both brave and smart at the same time?”

  “Wait, wait!” Micah said. “I think he left it for us.”

  Chapter 13

  Darbian looked up at Halinkoy. “You never told me the rest of the story. How did you meet the Tammeder? What would make them follow you?”

  “On the island that was our home, we made a habit of excavating in the caverns. We searched for precious metals and minerals to trade with the outside world. We needed various supplies to conduct our research…instruments, chemicals. But one day…the day destiny found me…we discovered something altogether spectacular.” Halinkoy looked at his soldiers with pride. “We found the door to a spaceship.”

  “The Tammeder,” said Darbian.

  “Of course. We found hundreds of pods with alien beings inside. They were alive, and we understood it to be a form of hibernation. Suddenly, the pods opened. The Tammeder came to life. But, they were quite upset that strangers had intruded upon their ship. They killed most of our excavation team. Then they came to me. They looked into my eyes and their anger left. Their fierceness turned to calm.” Halinkoy let out a sigh of relief.

  Darbian’s eyes narrowed. “Why would they spare you?”

  “They saw in me the spirit of a leader.” Halinkoy raised his hands up to the sky. “They saw their future. At some point in the past, a prophet of the Tammeder saw the influence I could have. He embedded my image and name in the mind of every Tammeder being. Once they knew who I was, they followed me readily.”

  “You didn’t care they had murdered your friends?” Darbian blurted.

  “Of course not. Sometimes sacrifices are necessary.” Halinkoy said. “What was important is that they served their purpose and that they would allow me to serve mine. The Tammeder had a rightful heir to their legacy and at that moment, we were all put on this course. Even you Warden.”

  “What do you mean?” Darbian tilted his head.

  Halinkoy’s shining dome edged closer to Darbian’s face. “Haven’t you wondered why you survived? Haven’t you asked yourself the question?”

  “You’re talking about the Time Bomb,” replied Darbian.

  “The last Warden, the only one left standing. How is that possible? Why weren’t you with the others when they met their demise?” Halinkoy gripped the chains holding down Darbian and rattled them.

  “I was away doing my duty. What sort of question is that?” Darbian bristled.

  “You’ve been my prisoner for far longer than you realize, Warden.” Halinkoy gripped Darbian’s chin. “I let you live.”

  Darbian fell silent.

  “When I procured the services of Aculpus Atronis, I asked him who the most incapable Warden was. I said to him ‘Tell me Aculpus, who is the weakest link?’” Halinkoy let go of Darbian’s chin. “It was you.”

  Darbian would have fought such an accusation, but there he stood bound in chains and hel
pless. His greatest fear was realized. He was too weak to save himself much less anyone else.

  “I sent Vinitor to Earth, and I made sure you heard a call for help…to lure you out and keep you busy. That’s why you’re here. It’s not because you were wise or brave. You didn't escape destruction even by luck. You are here because you are weak.” Halinkoy turned his back. “You’re a symbol, Warden. You represent just how useless and inadequate the institution of the Wardein is. I told you earlier that I don’t want to kill you yet. Why do you think that is?”

  “You said you wanted me to suffer,” Darbian replied.

  “Oh, but it’s so much deeper than that,” said Halinkoy. “I want to parade the last Warden around this universe and prove to everyone…every living thing…that your kind is weak and that I’m supreme. If you were dead, they would only see your corpse, but I want them to see your shattered soul and know their hope is dead.”

  Darbian hung his head.

  “And when I’ve proven just how fragile your order is…just how feeble your efforts are…then I’ll put you out of your misery, but not a moment sooner.” Halinkoy said.

  Darbian grew angry. “Maybe you’re the weak one.”

  Halinkoy laughed.

  “Is it funny? Wouldn’t you want to make a show of the strongest Warden? But you weren’t capable of that, were you?” Darbian gritted his teeth.