“I know that,” I said. “Mara took off on me. Pissed that I went to deal with Charger.”
“Does she know about the pill bottle?” Belle asked.
“No. I didn’t tell her.”
“Why not?” Ash asked.
“I think she’s right about some shit she said,” I said. “And I don’t want her hurt by anything that happens now.”
“She’s in that beach house, Uly,” Hil said. “Those pills ended up in Charger’s hands… and your mother has a messed-up leg… and Mara’s mother works there…”
“What the fuck are you saying?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Hil said.
“Something is going on,” Ash said again.
“I’ll let you know if I need anything then,” I said.
Belle broke away from Ash and ran up to me and hugged me from behind.
“Don’t let her slip away, Uly,” Belle said. “No matter what happens.”
I gritted my teeth.
Last thing I wanted or needed was fucking Belle telling me what to do with my heart.
I didn’t say a word.
Ash finally told her to let me go.
When she did I got into my car and drove away.
But the thing was… I had nowhere to go.
I had the pill bottle in my car which was a huge risk in itself. If something happened and I got pulled over my ass would be fried for having the pills. But I didn’t care.
The only choice was to go to the beach house and start asking questions.
Fuck… just showing off the pill bottle would make someone’s face turn red.
And then I’d know everything I needed to know.
I never thought it would be like this…
As I take the lonely road, these pills next to me, the seat empty where you should be sitting, my hands on the wheel, the horizon like a stone wall, but I don’t care what happens when I get there. Either I get to touch you or I go off the edge of the world, I can try to fly high with the dust you’ve collected as you rub your itchy eyes from the sand and the wind on that day that became night…
What a great time to toss some lyrics around in my head, huh?
I drove fast like I always did.
I smoked two cigarettes and wanted a third.
But when I pulled down the road to the beach house, my hands gripped the wheel tighter.
My tires crunching the rocks and pebbles.
The house came into view.
In a strange way I wished my father was alive. And I had never wished that ever. Never once did I want him back from the dead. Because dead was dead. Time moved on. That was that.
When I saw Mara sitting on the porch the way she always did, the sun touching her face the way my hands were meant to do, I curled my lip.
I came to a stop and she looked at me.
She took out her earbuds and closed her book.
She stood up and looked scared.
Of me?
I got out of my car and stared at her.
I could see her chin quivering.
She walked down the steps and I shut my car door and walked toward her.
We met somewhere close to the middle.
“I have to show you something, doll,” I said to her. “Something to explain-”
“Uly, stop,” she said.
“No, Mara…”
“Uly,” she snapped.
Mara’s voice cracked and she covered her mouth.
She was either going to cry or get sick.
Or both.
“Hey, what is it?” I asked.
Her beautiful, green eyes looked at me.
“I have to tell you the truth…”
Chapter 19
“I don’t want to be here right now,” Mara said.
“Why?” I asked.
“I just don’t,” she said. “I’m here because Mom is here. That’s it. And if he shows up again…”
“He?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Mara said. “We should leave, Uly. Right now. Just drive away. You and I together. Go for a long drive. A fast drive. Let’s go to the beach.”
Mara grabbed my arms.
She looked ready to beg me.
She looked ready to burst into tears.
“I can’t leave right now, doll,” I said. “I have to do something. It’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“You can tell me anything you want,” Mara said. “But I have to…” She looked around. “I was so scared when you were gone, Uly. And I was so mad at myself.”
“Mad at yourself?” I asked. “What did you do wrong?”
“I want to say it’s because I fell in love with you,” she said. “But that’s a lie. Everything is a lie, Uly. My whole life has become this sick lie.”
“Yeah? Well look at this,” I said.
I ran back to my car and got the pill bottle.
I cradled it in my hand when I showed it to Mara.
“What the hell is that?” she asked.
“What do you think it is?” I asked. “I found it…”
“So?”
“It’s my mother’s, doll.”
“Oh. Pills for her leg?”
“I assume that,” I said. “But… where I found them… something is going on here. Behind my back. And it’s starting to piss me off. I wanted to see you before I do what I have to do.”
“Uly…”
“Listen to me, Mara,” I said. “I understand what you said to me. About us. I’m not agreeing with you though. I’ll never agree to lose you. I can’t lose you. I’ve wanted you all along. That’s the thing with Belle… I thought I wanted her. I thought she could be something… but she was just a replacement. I thought for Penelope. But that was never really real. That was just… I don’t even know. Because the second I opened my eyes to you, everything kind of exploded. And if you think I’d let BFH or Them or some fucking reputation about myself ruin what I have with you… you’re wrong. Way wrong, doll. But this…” I shook the pill bottle. “This I have to deal with. And I don’t know where it’s going to go. So just know that I love you. I meant it when I said it.”
I walked around Mara and she grabbed my hand.
She squeezed. “Please let me tell you the truth before you do anything.”
“What truth?”
“The one that’s going to make you go crazy, Uly.” She looked back at me. “I’m going to lose you.”
“How the fuck is that possible?” I asked. “I love you. You love me.”
Mara nodded.
Her chin quivered and she shut her eyes.
“I can still see it,” she whispered.
“She what?”
“Your mother… going down the stairs…”
“That’s your truth?” I asked. “My mother? What does that have to do with anything?”
“Uly, shut up for a second,” Mara said.
Tears leaked from her shut eyes.
She licked her lips.
I was confused.
I opened my mouth but didn’t say anything else.
“I can still see it happening,” she whispered.
I waited a few seconds.
“See what, Mara?” I asked.
She opened her eyes and her green eyes shone with tears.
“I can still see Calvin pushing your mother down the stairs.”
* * *
The words hit my head first. Then they echoed down to my heart.
I opened my grip on Mara’s hand.
She stared at me, still crying and afraid.
She started to shake with fear.
I slowly turned my head and looked at the beach house.
I took a step and Mara pulled at me.
“He’s not here right now,” she said. “I’ve been a mess here, Uly. Wanting to get away. But wanting to keep Mom safe too.”
“Does she know?” I asked.
“No. I was the only one who saw it.”
I pictured it in my head.
And
maybe it made sense.
That’s why I hated that fucking asshole.
I knew something was off about him.
The way he looked… the way he talked and acted… always so commanding…
I tucked the pill bottle into my front pocket.
One war at a time it seemed.
“Uly, look at me please,” Mara said. “Please look at me.”
I looked at Mara. “What?”
“There’s more. I need to tell you everything. But not here. Okay?”
“What does that mean?”
“I know you want to run in there and start yelling,” she said. “And I don’t blame you. But you’ll make things worse. Okay? Just trust me on this. I want to leave.”
“What about your mother?”
“She’s okay,” Mara said. “I mean, Calvin’s not here. So I’m not too worried.”
“Has he said anything to your mother? Done anything? Has he…”
My mind filled with more thoughts.
“Please,” Mara whispered. “I’ll tell you everything. Just with some distance.”
I didn’t want to leave the fucking beach house.
I didn’t want to leave my mother either.
Shit… I care about my mother…
But the pill bottle. The pills. Charger had them…
“Uly,” Mara said.
“Get in the car,” I said.
We got into my car and I drove away from the beach house, my heart weighing a ton.
And Mara was too good and smart for me.
She knew I was going to do something crazy.
She knew that distance was the only way to save me from myself.
When I hit the main road, I picked up speed.
She grabbed the edges of the seat and I watched her tense up.
I let off the gas pedal and drove almost normal.
That pissed me off too.
“Talk,” I said.
“I will,” she said. “I’m gathering.”
“Gather faster, doll,” I said.
“Calvin never touched me. And as far as I know he never touched Mom either. He just kind of appeared one day, Uly. Okay? I don’t know how or where your mother met him. I don’t know how it started. He just showed up one day. And your mother was crazy about him. The way she looked at him…”
“And nobody told me about him,” I said.
“That was the thing, Uly. Your mother didn’t want you to know. And it kind of made sense. I remember it vividly. She called Mom and I into the kitchen to talk to us. She said that she was really enjoying her time with Calvin. But she didn’t want you to know. Because of your father.”
Mara paused.
I gripped the wheel tighter.
My right foot twitched, wanting to speed.
But I didn’t speed.
I didn’t want Mara to get upset or scared.
Because I loved her that fucking much.
“It made sense,” Mara said. “Okay? The way she talked about things… I knew it was never good between your mother and father. I knew you were distant from your mother. She said that too. She was afraid if you found out about Calvin you would either be more distant or try to break them up.”
“Right,” I said. “The blame before the blame. Right? That’s how she gets through life. I don’t know what you’re doing right now, doll, but this is getting hard to want to defend her. And I know I have to.”
“Uly, I’m telling you everything,” Mara said. “And… wait a second. Sorry. That pill bottle. Where did you get that?”
I looked at Mara. “My mother was thrown down the stairs and you want to talk about a fucking pill bottle?”
Mara’s face turned white. Like she was sick.
And I wasn’t even speeding.
“What is it now?” I asked Mara.
“I think I just figured everything out.”
* * *
I stood behind the couch in the guest room while Mara paced in front of the fireplace.
I took the time to build her a fire because I knew she liked it.
Her mind was working faster than I could drive.
And I wanted answers. Truths. I wanted everything.
“Things changed,” Mara said. “Calvin came and went like he owned the house. He talked to Mom like she was garbage. He didn’t even acknowledge I was there. I was a ghost to him. That kind of asshole who just walked by you without seeing you.”
“Right,” I said. “What happened with the stairs, doll? And how does it fit in with the pill bottle?”
Mara stopped and pointed to my right hand as I held the pill bottle.
“It’s him,” she said. “He took those pills. I know. I saw him before… I saw him taking pills from a pill bottle, Uly. Before your mother’s accident. And one night… well… morning… I stayed the night because Mom wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to drive. So we shared a guest room. Your mother insisted we stay. I got up to get water and I heard Calvin on the phone. Talking to someone. Talking about… pills.”
Every muscle in my body stiffened.
“Wait a second…”
Mara nodded. “I know.”
“No you don’t, doll.” I shook the bottle. “These pills were being passed around by someone at BFH.”
“What?” Mara yelled.
“Right,” I said. “That’s where I was. What I’ve been dealing with. There was a girl messed up on these pills. And her boyfriend came to us to fix it. We tracked down who it was. Charger.”
Mara’s eyes widened. “I think that’s the name Calvin said.”
“Fuck,” I growled. “I lied to you, doll. I went looking for a fight. But it was a needed fight. I needed to do this. I’m sorry that I left. It had to happen. I had to stop this shit from getting too deep into BFH. And when we were done beating the hell out of Charger, I found this pill bottle.”
“With your mother’s name on it,” Mara said. “Ohgod… he hurt her… steals her pills…”
“I wonder if she even needs them,” I said. “If she’s in on this.”
“Uly…”
“I’m not putting anything past anyone,” I said.
“That’s your mother.”
“You’ve dealt with her.”
“Not like this. This is scary.”
“And you saw her get pushed?”
Mara shut her eyes. She touched her stomach. “I saw everything… and then some…”
She opened her eyes and sat on the edge of the couch. She covered her mouth with both hands.
I climbed over the back of the couch and sat behind her, my legs on each side of her body. Like she was about to sit in my lap.
I wrapped my arms around her.
“Tell me, doll. I need to know everything. No matter what.”
She nodded. “I know. He didn’t know I was there. Your mother and Calvin were upstairs. My mother was cleaning the guest bedrooms. Your mother was in a terrible mood. She was so mean… like a scared mean. Which makes sense now. She insisted Mom clean the guest bedrooms. And Mom knew how to deal with your mother. But I was there too. I was in the kitchen and heard your mother and Calvin arguing. They were trying to be quiet but every now and again they would get loud. I walked from the kitchen and looked up the steps. The ones at the back of the house. I saw your mother turned, facing Calvin. She said she was going to tell everyone the truth. Without hesitation, Calvin pushed her.”
Mara stopped talking.
My heart slammed inside my chest.
“Keep going,” I said in a cold voice. “Now.”
“I heard the sound of her… hitting the steps… and I heard this pop sound and she screamed. Such a loud scream. By then I had run to the front door and went outside. I couldn’t understand what I just saw. He pushed her. There was no denying it. There was no chance of me seeing something else and thinking it was done on purpose or by accident or something. He threw his right hand forward and pushed her down the stairs. Mom jumped into action and Calvin was nowhere to be
found for a minute. He came rushing down the stairs, wiping his hair with a towel.” Mara looked back at me. “He must have gone into the bathroom and wet his hair to make it look like he was in the shower or something.”
“What a fucking piece of shit,” I said.
“Your mother was obviously hurt really bad. Everything just moved so fast. We called the ambulance and then I called you…”
Mara wiggled away from me and stood up.
She walked toward the bed.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. I stood up. “The second I talked to you. Or saw you. Why didn’t you tell me? I could have taken care of this sooner. You think I’m letting him get away with it?”
Mara looked back at me, her eyes filled with tears.
“I told you… this is what happens next… I’m going to lose you. You’re mad at me.”
“Mad? I don’t know what I am. That guy hurt my mother and you knew about it? And you just kept showing up to the house? And you looked me in the eyes so many times…”
“Uly, stop,” she said.
I was angry.
I told myself to stop.
I couldn’t stop though.
“You were mad at me about my life,” I said. “And look at what you’ve done…”
I told myself to bite my tongue.
Mara’s eyes filled with tears again.
She looked to the door.
I walked to it and opened it.
“Go ahead. Do what you need to do, doll. But don’t go back to the beach house. That’s where I’m going next.”
“Uly…” She shook her head. “I’m not leaving. I have nowhere to go. So be mad at me. I don’t care. Everyone can be mad at me. What would you do if he threatened you?”
“What?” I asked.
“He threatened me.”
“Who did?”
“Calvin,” Mara said. She collapsed down to the bed.
I ran to the bed and scooped Mara up in my arms.
“Look at me, doll,” I said. “Look at me and say it again.”
I thought things were done going to shit so fast.
But I was wrong.
Mara curled her lip as she shook in my arms.
“He cornered me and said if I said anything about what he did… he would push me down the stairs and make sure it was my neck that snapped instead of a leg.”
ULY (Bay Falls High - Them Book 1) Page 18