“It’s hard to believe that everyone knows us here,” I said, staring up at the full-capacity crowd. If there was any doubt about our sudden celebrity, the chants of “Lauren and Cameron” wiped it away.
Lauren
The speed with which it all happened was truly incredible. I remember the Jumbotron moment, but for me it was the Shonda Rhimes tweet that made it real. She was a huge role model of mine, given her massive success as a Black author and TV producer. A couple weeks into Love Is Blind, I was scrolling through Twitter when I noticed a tweet from her. “I’m obsessed with Cameron and Lauren,” she wrote. My head just about exploded.
A few days later, Trevor Noah mentioned us on The Daily Show.
“Oh my God!” I shouted. “Trevor Noah knows who we are!”
Then came the ultimate moment of arrival for any cultural phenomenon: the Saturday Night Live spoof. This is something Cameron and I had joked about previously.
“What if the show becomes so big that it gets the SNL treatment?” I asked him during one of our dates. We imagined who would play us. Ego Nwodim for me? Mikey Day for Cameron?
As it turned out, the skit didn’t parody actual cast members from Love Is Blind. But there were some pretty obvious references—right down to my exact hoop earrings from the show (it was Nwodim who played a knock-off of me, a “picture taker” named Raquel). And to be honest, it was hilarious.
The SNL skit introduced us to the darker side of celebrity, where you become the joke, the punchline, one I was aware of going into Love Is Blind. I wouldn’t say I dreaded it, but I knew I had to proceed with caution, keeping my wits about me and not jumping in headfirst. Because my dad worked in the industry, he taught me from an early age that fame can be really ugly. Even though I fantasized about being a performer as a kid—I loved the performing arts and worked hard toward being the best I could be in the different veins of creatively expressing myself—I always knew it wasn’t for the thin-skinned or faint of heart.
Cameron
I didn’t have the same exposure to stardom’s seedier side as a kid, but I came into Love Is Blind prepared. My mind-set was always, If I’m going to do this, I’m going to keep an open mind and I’m going to give it 100 percent. I’m not here to ham it up for the camera. I wanted people to see me for who I really am, whether it was the women on the other side of the wall or the people who would later watch at home.
In the facility, I got the sense that not everyone was being their authentic selves. I’ve talked about how quickly cast members would switch into their representative selves anytime the camera panned their way. While I think we were all intrigued by the notion of being on television, many seemed more focused on the notoriety they could gain than the possibility of finding love. I chuckled when one guy whispered to me, “Bro, we’re gonna be famous after this.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him the microphone could still pick up his audio.
The interesting thing is, most of the people who did not seem focused on forming connections were among the first wave of departures from the show. I think both the cast and Production quickly got a sense of who was open to forming a connection and who had ulterior motives.
Lauren
The star-chasing got pretty bad on the girls’ side of Love Is Blind too. One morning a couple of the ladies were having some drinks, mixing up a couple of Bloody Marys.
“Can you guys imagine if this show blows up?” one of them said.
“Totally,” the other responded. “I heard that anyone who gets married will have their own spread in People.”
“No way, People magazine!” a third gal chimed in, sidling up to the bar. “We could be famous!”
Like Cameron said, these were the first people to get shown the door, which is ironic.
Of course, Cam and I were aware of the possibility of celebrity. But we tried not to focus on it too much. For one thing, we didn’t want to be too disappointed if the show flopped. How humiliating would that be, to go around town bragging and boasting and then watch the show crash out at the bottom of the ratings? So our motto was always “Don’t get too excited.”
Then there was the dark side of stardom, the vulnerability to criticism and mockery, that I mentioned earlier. A big part of it stems from the fact that when you’re in the public eye you’re no longer in control of your own story. That’s doubly true for reality television, where producers and editors determine the narrative for you. The audience, in turn, feels like they’ve followed your story from the beginning. They feel like they’re right there with you. That’s beautiful in a way. And I do look at our supporters as our extended family. But at the same time, it can be tough when some of them feel entitled to tell you how to live your life moving forward.
That’s where trolling comes in. I remember I did an Instagram Live one time, you know, being myself, with my big personality. But some of the viewers couldn’t handle it.
“Who is this person?” one of them wrote. “This is not the same Lauren from the show. She’s so loud and ghetto.”
“You’ve really changed, Lauren,” another follower commented.
It was hard to read those comments, because I’m the same person I’ve always been. On Love Is Blind, I was genuinely looking for love, so of course I was going to show a softer side. And like most of the cast, the rawness of the emotions had me feeling vulnerable and exposed, so that part of my personality came through the most. But the fun boisterous side was always there.
Here’s the thing, though: for every negative comment, there were a hundred positive ones. We have people from all over the world sending messages about how our story changed their lives. So much love and support from my sisters, sharing things like: “It’s so amazing to see another woman of color on TV like you, being herself and being loved. We love to see it.”
Cameron
Fame truly is a double-edged sword. Lauren and I have experienced its invasive nature many times now, including at LAX on our way home from the LA leg of the LIB press tour. We were both wiped out from the days of back-to-back interviews and public appearances. We were sitting down at a restaurant near the terminal having a quick bite to eat.
I was about to enjoy my cheeseburger when this guy got right up in our faces and stood there staring, waiting for us to acknowledge him. Finally, he said, “You guys are from that TV show, right?”
I set the burger down and gave him a subtle nod. He then started to barrage us with questions: Was the show for real? Were we really married? How much did we get paid?
We did our best to be polite, but at a certain point I had to say to him, “Hey! I’m sorry, our flight is in a few minutes. Do you mind if we finish eating?”
We have had our share of unexpected encounters with fans of us and the show. The vast majority have been overwhelmingly positive: We have been given fan art that we’ve hung all around our house. We have been showered with gifts and opportunities beyond anything I could have ever expected or asked for going into the experiment. We have received thousands of messages from supporters telling us how our love story has inspired them to keep looking for their partner or to work on improving their own relationship. Knowing that Lauren’s and my love for each other has helped bring more love into the lives of others makes all of the invasive and negative comments pale in comparison.
One of my favorite experiences from our NYC press tour was going on Sway in the Morning, a music and culture show on SiriusXM. I’d been a huge fan of Sway and his radio show since my college days. My friend Shashi, who produced and collaborated with me on our songs, and I would watch his show every week. Sway always had some of our favorite rappers, like Wiz Khalifa and Big Sean, on his show. They’d talk music and entertainment and then Sway would put on some instrumentals and get them to freestyle.
It was a surreal moment sitting in the studio with him. When the morning started, our publicist had told us we were doing several interviews at the SiriusXM HQ. I had not considered that we would be going on Sway in the Morning, much les
s thought about the possibility I would be asked to freestyle. Although I wish I had more forewarning, the surprise of it all saved me from the anxiety I would have felt getting ready for it. As fate would have it, Sway played the same beat for me that he had Wiz rap over all those years ago. All in all, performing on Sway’s show was electrifying and I am honored I got that opportunity. Plus, my parents said it was their favorite interview, because they recognized Sway is a genuine man and they felt Lauren and I had the best energy talking with him. They weren’t wrong!
After the show, Sway took Lauren and me aside and offered us some fatherly advice. “This industry will seduce you,” he said. “You have to make a concerted effort to not lose track of what’s meaningful to you guys. Stay true to yourselves, to each other, and to your families, and the rest will take care of itself.”
chapter twenty-two SCROLLING RIGHT ALONG
Lauren
Social media is both heaven and hell. On the one hand, it’s been the best way for Cam and me to tell the story of our marriage, beyond the interracial dating narrative that was created for us on Love Is Blind. We love being able to talk directly to our fans and supporters and let them into our lives on a more intimate level. That’s the positive. On the other hand, it means we’re constantly under the microscope and, as a result, subject to constant scrutiny and criticism.
As we’ve said before, most of the comments we get online, whether via Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, or some other social media platform, are filled with love and support. But there’s always a small sliver of the audience that feels the need to weigh in with advice.
If I post a video from one of my fitness workouts, someone will tell me how my technique is all wrong. Or if it’s a share about my hair, I’ll get all these suggestions about other looks to try. “Don’t do it like that,” they’ll say. Or maybe: “Why are you trying to change who you are?”
Poor Cam shared a video once about a gate he built in the yard. My man knows his way around a toolbox, so it came out great. But you wouldn’t believe the deluge of comments: “That’s the wrong size screw.” “The hinge looks crooked.” “Why did you choose that color?”
We appreciate the interest. Really, we do. But the constant feedback has definitely taken some getting used to.
Cameron
The adjustment to social media was difficult for me. Before Love Is Blind, I had a couple hundred followers on Instagram. I’d post once a month, at most. To be honest, I had always thought social media was a little vain. My attitude was basically, What is the point of posting all these pictures of myself? What’s the point of anyone posting pictures of themselves? Why even bother? I told Lauren about my disinterest in social media, but slowly she changed my perspective. “Social media is more important than you realize,” she said. “People want to connect with who they see on TV. This is your chance to talk to those people and share your thoughts with them.”
During the shooting of Love Is Blind, we didn’t have our phones, so that was a complete social media blackout. I appreciated that, because it meant Lauren and I could really focus on each other and on our burgeoning love.
Cut to early 2020, a month before the February 13 premiere. After Lauren’s and my discussions, I had started posting more regularly in anticipation of the show coming out. Meanwhile, Netflix started to run trailers for the show, along with other social media assets. They were looking to tease the show and get some buzz going online. It was a strange sensation to watch the followers start trickling in. I was both excited to see people were already anticipating the show and anxious for what was to come. Even though I wasn’t part of the pre-show press—Lauren and Mark were the faces of the show at that time—I reached one thousand followers before my name was even released to the media. I was impressed with how resourceful people were in finding me from a trailer on YouTube.
On February 10, Netflix released another clip from the show online. The snippet was from one of Lauren’s and my first dates in the pods. The response was overwhelming. Once the first episode of Love Is Blind was released, tens of thousands of new followers started pouring in every day, all with something to say. During our NYC press tour, I remember seeing over a hundred thousand new followers in a single day. I did not want to get caught up in focusing on followers and likes, but when hundreds of thousands of people are engaged with what you say and do online, it is difficult to ignore. At the time of writing this book, I was just short of 2 million followers on Instagram—closing in on Lauren’s 2.5 million! Not that it’s a competition, of course.
As our audience continued to grow, I started to understand the appeal of social media. Our supporters had become invested in our love story and I began to feel an obligation to keep them up to date on our daily adventures. Though the most devoted supporters, however, had little trouble keeping up with us on their own, usually through some pretty sophisticated sleuthing on social media. For example, when the show first started streaming on Netflix in February 2020, many wanted to figure out if we eventually made it to the altar and were still together. These internet Sherlocks found clues everywhere! They matched the faint reflection of Lauren in my sunglasses in one of my pictures to a photo of Lauren on her own Instagram account. They also cross-examined a picture of our Christmas tree that Lauren posted in 2018 to one that Mom posted in 2019 and matched the ornaments between pictures. The internet does not like to be surprised.
While we were going through Love Is Blind, I was solely focused on strengthening my relationship with Lauren. When I started connecting with our supporters, I saw that our story had inspired others not to give up hope for their own love life. And our support does not just come from the US but from all over the world and from all different demographics. Some of the largest sections of our audience come from Canada, the UK, Germany, Brazil, South Africa, and Australia. We have been truly blessed to have the opportunity to inspire others all around the world to keep hope alive and find their love.
Lauren
Oh my God, I’ve created a monster! Lol. Despite the good and bad of social media, I think Cameron and I have found a happy medium. The trick is to be transparent while still maintaining some sense of mystery. I want to be relatable online, so I don’t just show the highlights from my life. It’s a mistake to present a too polished version of yourself online. That’s why I’ll also occasionally post my natural self. Makeup-less, weave-less, and without a filter to normalize looking like your natural beautiful self. I don’t want people to get this perfect perception of me, because I’m not perfect. I want my supporters to know that I’m a human being.
That being said, there is such a thing as oversharing, especially when it comes to romance. When I was a little girl, my aunt always gave me the best relationship advice: If you and your mate have a disagreement, she said, keep it behind closed doors. But as soon as you go outside, you need to have a united front. Discuss problems in the home, not the streets.
I’ve taken my aunt’s words to heart, especially when it comes to social media. Cameron and I have our disagreements, just like my aunt promised we would. But that’s not something I would ever talk about on social media. It wouldn’t benefit anyone, and it would only open us up to an avalanche of unwanted advice and criticism.
Cameron
As Lauren said, social media is all about balance. That’s a big reason why we launched the Hanging with the Hamiltons channel on YouTube. It’s been a way to let our supporters into our lives on a deeper level while telling the stories we want to tell.
In between our NYC and LA press tours, we cooked up a name for the channel, recorded the goofy title song, collaborated on a loose script for the welcome video, and then sat down on the couch in our living room and hit the record button.
We posted the video on March 7, a couple days after the premiere of the LIB reunion show, when the buzz was reaching a crescendo and people were hungry for more information about us. Even after I saw my Instagram followers explode, it was amazing to see the number of views tick u
p on YouTube, from thousands to tens of thousands to millions.
A couple weeks later, we posted our second video, a Q&A based on questions from our Instagram supporters, and it made it onto the YouTube Trending page. That was crazy, especially for a new channel. It’s one thing to trend if you’re established with a built-in audience. But it happened for us straight out of the gate. We knew we were on to something.
Lauren
It’s been quite a ride, and it’s far from over. I love that Cameron and I are creative partners in addition to life partners. Not that we don’t butt heads. I sometimes have to check myself, because, you know, content is my thing. I’ve been creating it for the better part of twenty years.
One time we were setting up a shoot in the house. Cam wanted to set the camera up on one side of the room.
“Let’s move the camera over here,” I said.
“Why can’t we shoot from here?” he asked.
“Because it will look better in this frame,” I answered.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because the lighting is better!” I snapped. “The background is better! It’s just better!!” Then I added, “You know, you didn’t give this much sass to the producers on the show. You have to think of me like that. If we were building an AI computer, I wouldn’t tell you what to do!”
“Okay, okay, I was just asking,” he said.
Working together is part of our relationship now. It’s another way we’re coming together as a couple.
And as with all things social media, we always try to keep in mind that they’re only apps. Real life is always going to be more important than anything online. I don’t care how popular the platform is, it could disappear at any moment. Then what? If you’re experiencing your entire life through an app, what will you be left with? That’s the question you always have to ask yourself.
Leap of Faith Page 18