I don't think this colors her perspective. Katy is also fully aware of the huge spectrum within our community. She's a great facilitator too, especially when disputes arise between our members.
"Yes. Why don't you jump at this opportunity?" She gives me a long, significant look and I kind of squirm in my seat.
Linda reappears with a huge tray filled with food. She kind of saves me from answering Katy's question as we turn our attention to the menu proposed for tonight's Gala, but I can't stop thinking about Katy.
Tank and several other of the Old Guard are actively searching for a replacement Master for her in the wake of Master Andy's passing. It's become a mission for them. Secretly, I think it was one of Master Andy's last requests. Tank doesn't respond when I ask, and no one else can get a clear answer from their significant others either.
But we all kind of think that's what's going on.
"I wrote next to everything what it is." Linda explains how she's arranged the tasting. Sure enough, beside every delicious looking morsel is something scrawled out on the parchment paper.
"I included all the things you already picked out and then added a few of our crowd favorites." She steps back and lets Katy and I admire the presentation. "If you want us to add anything to the order, it's easy. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to leave the two of you and see to some stuff in the back. I'll come back around to check on you in a moment, and if you have any questions, just ring the bell."
Indeed, there's a fancy silver bell on the table. This is an upscale catering business. I don't want to know what the bill is for everything we're ordering, but I know we're a valued client.
"She's leaving us alone?" I whisper to Katy, a little surprised Linda isn't going to stick around.
"She does that so we can try everything out and talk about it without feeling awkward because she's hovering."
"What if we have questions?"
"That's what the bell is for." Katy claps her hands together and holds them to her chest. "Good thing we skipped breakfast."
I skipped breakfast and I have a feeling lunch will consist of very little intake of the nutritional variety.
Lunch at Tank's office generally consist of lots of kinky sex. He fucks like he eats, three times a day with several small meals added here and there. I happen to be his favorite snack.
I've spent plenty of time under his desk, after lunch, sucking him off while he's on the phone with clients. Plus, there have been a few times when he's taken business meetings with me under that desk with my mouth full of his cock.
My attention shifts to Katy as she lifts some pastry thing to her mouth.
It's funny, but I think she's right. It didn't take long for the dynamic between Tank and I to shift from sex at the club to sex at home, his office, and a few other places. But it's not about the sex.
It's in the way he cares for me.
Like today. He took a car service, leaving me his driver, because he wanted to make sure I was taken care of and didn't have to fuss with getting a cab.
I don't mind letting Tank take care of me. He loves showering me with attention and he likes doing things for me. I just don't want to get to the point where my independence disappears.
Isn't that what it means to be a slave?
Although, looking at Katy, she's doing a bang-up job managing her life without Master Andy directing her every move. She never lost her independence. Instead, she flourished beneath Master Andy's rule, and despite all of our concerns, she's not wilting in the wake of his death.
Things are hard for her, and I know she has her moments, but she's living her best life. And she didn't fall apart. As far as I can see, she's managing her finances and all the details of her life without Andy to do it for her. I suppose she never lost that ability.
Is that one of my fears?
I wish I had half her strength.
"You going to make me taste all of this myself?" She lifts a meatball on a stick and gives it to me. "This is really good."
I put the meatball in my mouth and my eyes close with the near instantaneous food-orgasm going on in my mouth.
"Oh my, that's really good."
"I know right." She grins at me and picks up the next tantalizing morsel.
We go to town on the food until she finally pauses between bites.
"When is your essay due?"
I glance at the clock. "When I meet him at eleven."
"Shit, you better get cracking."
"I don't really know what to write. He wants three pages."
"Ouch."
"Yeah, I mean beyond I'm sorry I lied, what more is there to say."
"You know, I hated writing lines or doing essays. Sometimes, I'd beg Andy to just take the whip to me instead of having to write essays and lines. Whatever it took to avoid having to pour my thoughts on paper."
"You wrote for him too?"
"I did, and I really hated it at first. Thus, the begging for his whip, but after a time, I kind of liked it. I actually started keeping a journal. He didn't know about it at first."
"A journal?"
"Yeah, all the stuff going on in my head that I wasn't ready to discuss with him. We were very open with each other. He demanded it, but that never meant it was easy. I always had to be careful. If I said something he acted on it. Sometimes, I needed to vent and the last thing I wanted was for him to change because of something I said. Although, there were some things which needed to change."
"Really? Like what?"
"Degradation. It was never a limit for me, because I didn't really understand it. He read something online and next thing I knew he kind of went off the deep end."
"I don't understand."
"He…dehumanized me. Does that make sense? It was more than objectification, it was darker, humiliating, and messed with my head. I'm not sure how to explain it, except as his slave, and with our dynamic, I wasn't in a place where I could refuse his wishes. Not having a safe word can be problematic. Friction developed between us. I started to lose trust. I questioned myself and my place. Resentment built up and it nearly broke us."
"Wow. I never knew. You two were the perfect power couple."
"Every couple faces challenges unique to them. We sorted things out because I learned how to communicate with him. Part of that was never to lie about my fears, minimize my concerns, or fail to speak up when I felt my safety was at risk. My physical safety wasn't a problem, but my emotional health took a big nosedive. I didn't realize it until the entries in my journal went to some really dark places."
She tapped my tablet with her finger.
"Three pages isn't much. Just be honest. Why did you lie? Why is it important to be honest and truthful to your Dom? To your Master? Are those different? If so, why? Why do you need a safe place to express your frustration and disappointment in the things he does, or the things he asks of you?"
"Wow. I never really saw it that way."
"Well, it's the perfect time for it. Knowing Tank, he'll bind you to him for a year at the auction tonight. If you have concerns about being his slave, it's best you let him know now."
"But that's all we talk about." I'm whining, but I can't help it. I feel like we've talked until I'm blue in the face.
He knows my thoughts, but he believes he's right. He keeps telling me to trust him. This is the natural progression of our relationship. He wants this auction because he feels if he can just put me in that role, I'll finally see things his way.
"Does he know?"
"Huh?" I was so absorbed in my thoughts, I forgot what we were talking about.
"Does he really know your thoughts? Or, is it possible you've only been telling him what you think it's safe for him to hear?"
"He must."
"I have a feeling there are a lot of words being said, but you aren't being honest with your feelings." Katy leaned forward. "Look, I see the way Tank looks at you. That man loves you and he'd never hurt you or make you do something that would jeopardize his relationship with yo
u. He's seeking a way to meet a need within him. Tank's much like Andy. He's dominant, protective, and a natural leader. He wants to be the leader in your relationship. Why wouldn't he want to pursue that?"
Chapter 5
What she says makes sense. Too much sense, but I'm still uncomfortable. And she's right about one thing. Tank has money to toss around.
The charity is simply an excuse to make a donation where he would put his money anyway. He's a big philanthropist and will throw millions at tonight's event.
"Why are you resistant to becoming a slave?" She leans on her elbows and gives me a long look.
"I'm afraid."
"Of what?"
I feel like she's turning the tables on me. I wasn't letting things go earlier when I forced her to slow down and breathe, and she's doing that to me now.
Her questions are meant to be helpful, not judgmental. Katy understands we each come into this lifestyle on our own.
She heads our club's submissive group. It's where we exchange thoughts in an open forum. Nothing is off-limits. She also holds a series for the new members, submissive and Dominants, geared toward identifying pitfalls and unintended consequences.
I value her input.
It's also annoying, because she's making me really think.
I don't want to think.
I just want it all to go away. I don't want things to change when Tank and I already have the perfect dynamic.
I nibble at my lower lip and pull the tablet over.
Instead of writing an essay, I draw a line down the center of the paper. It's a trick I learned to help with making difficult decisions. I place two words at the top, one over each column: Pros and Cons.
Then I tap my pen to my chin.
Linda returns and I tune her and Katy out as they finalize the menu. My pen scratches on the paper, filling out a long list of Cons. I don't put much in the Pro column except This is what Tank wants.
After a few minutes, Katy and Linda bend over the final list for this evening. I take a quick peek at it, just to double check everything, and then Katy signs and we pay the bill.
"Do you still have time to go to the Event Planner?" Katy's gives me a weak smile as she glances at the clock.
I understand her concern. The tasting took longer than we anticipated. I have less than an hour before I'm supposed to be at Tank's office.
"Let me check in with Tank."
"I don't want to get you in trouble."
"I don't think he'll mind. He understands about tonight. Besides, I'm your trusty assistant. You're little sidekick."
She hooks her arm around mine and leans into me. "Yes, you're a very good sidekick too. Now, call your Dom and see if I can steal you for another couple hours."
My phone is up to my ear in no time. Tank is number one on my speed dial.
"Hey luv, how are things going?" He greets me with his deep baritone that always makes me go weak in the knees.
I lean against Katy and exaggerate a swoon. She laughs beside me.
"We tasted the most amazing food I've ever eaten in my life. It's going to be wonderful, but there's a problem."
"A problem? Do you need me to come?"
I love his protection. He thinks nothing of keeping his clients waiting if I need his help.
"No. No." I can't help but laugh. "I'm sorry. Nothing wrong like that. It's just it took longer than we thought and we're still supposed to go to the Event Planner to finalize the decorations. Katy can go without me, but I just thought…"
He answers before I can finish. "No. You stay with Katy. She needs someone with her. Will you be done by lunch?"
I look to Katy. "He wants to know if I'll be done by lunch."
"I think so. It's just a little before ten. We should be done by eleven thirty. Noon at the latest."
I speak back into the phone. "She says we'll be done by lunch. Noon at the latest."
"Okay, do you want me to come get you for lunch?"
"You don't want me to meet you at your office?"
Meeting him at the office means he'll get to fuck me before his afternoon client meetings. I can't see him giving that up.
"As much as I'd love to have you meet me here, how about I come and pick the two of you up for lunch?"
I turn to Katy. "Tank wants to take us to lunch. Do you have plans?"
Our day included only these two stops before lunch and then I am planning on getting to the club early to help her set up. The afternoon is mine, mostly because I know Tank wanted me to meet him at his office for a nooner.
"Not really. I have an appointment at the spa from two until four, then I'm headed to the club."
"Did you hear that?" I say.
"It sounds perfect. It's my pleasure to treat two beautiful ladies to lunch. I have something special in mind. And did I hear Katy say she's going to the spa after?"
"Yes, Sir." I can't help the honorific. It slips out when I least expect it. It is becoming more and more part of our normal back and forth.
"Is there room for you to join her?" The shifting in his voice is not lost on me. He's as responsive to my submission as I am to his dominance. "If so, I'd like for you to spend time at the spa before tonight. I think you need it."
I do need it and for precisely the reason he's thinking. I'm drowning a little with the changes that will happen tonight. I don't know how long I'll serve him as his slave. That will be determined at the auction tonight, but whether for one night, one week, one month, or a year, after tonight things will be different between us.
I need time away from him to really let it sink in. Oh, and time to write this damn essay he burdened me with.
Katy doesn't need me to relay his message. His deep rumble is easily heard from where she's standing. With her phone to her ear, she's already speaking to the day spa. I get the thumbs up and her smile is easily ten sizes bigger.
I didn't realize, although I should have known, that she would want someone with her all day leading up to tonight.
"Katy says yes."
"Good. Book yourself a massage, a wax, and whatever other girly things you want. Tell Katy I'm picking up the bill for you both. Indulge in all the champagne and chocolate covered strawberries they have to offer. Just don't get drunk."
"I won't, Sir."
"Good girl."
I smile when he calls me that. It makes me all warm and toasty inside.
"How about you call me about twenty minutes before you're done. I'll have James pick me up and then we'll come get the two of you."
"Sounds perfect. Thank you, Sir. I think Katy is thrilled."
"I hoped that would be the case." He's such a thoughtful man and incredibly perceptive.
"And Michelle…"
"Yes, Sir?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"I guess you have a little more time to work on that essay."
I can't help but gulp a little. He's not letting up on that.
"You sure we couldn't handle that little transgression some other way?"
I'm hoping for ropes and sensation play.
"You mean by manipulating me into spanking that fine ass of yours?"
"Um…"
"I have no problem with that. We'll add ten swats with the belt to your essay. But the essay stands. I want to know your thoughts."
I can't help but feel deflated. The spanking should make me feel giddy, but I'm disappointed in myself. I shouldn't have pushed. Good submissives don't manipulate their Dom's.
And slaves never do it.
I don't think that's true. Nobody can be perfect all the time. I make a note to ask Katy about it later. Right now, James is pulling up outside the caterer's shop.
I take her hand in mine. "Come on. Let's do this."
"I heard what he said."
"I bet you did."
Katy's smirk is something I want to wipe off her face, but I burst into a fit of giggles. Spankings aside, even with a belt, I know exactly what they do to Tank's libido. I'm get
ting fucked before tonight even begins.
"I want a Brazilian." I announce it suddenly.
"Um…okay?" She looks at me like I said the sky is blue.
"I've never had one before."
"You've never shaved it all off?"
I shake my head. "Never. Tank likes it trimmed, but I'm thinking I want to surprise him. Maybe he'll forget about the belt."
"Maybe, but you and I know he won't. And a word to the wise…"
"Yes?"
"Don't play games with him. If you want something, let him know. But I kind of agree with him. Don't manipulate your Dom."
"You're saying you never manipulated Master Andy to get what you wanted?"
"Only until I learned I didn't need to. Deceiving him was counter to our dynamic. You and Tank may do things differently, but I'd watch it after tonight. A lot of things are going to change."
"Don't I know it."
James is out of the car and holding the back door for us. We slip inside and he drives us to our next stop. We pile out of the car and he heads off to do whatever it is driver's do while waiting for their clients to get from point A to point B.
This stop is quicker than the previous one. Katy goes over last minute preparation with the decorators. The owner is one of our members, which means there're no issues surrounding letting strangers into the club to make it sparkle and shine.
I text Tank when we're getting close to finishing up and see the sleek town car pull up right as Katy signs over the check.
"Hey, I'll meet you outside. Tank is here."
She glances over her shoulder. "Okay, I'll be right out."
I practically skip out of the shop and into Tanks arms. "I missed you." Burying myself in his hug, I can't help but breathe him in.
"I missed you too."
I look up at him. "I'm sorry I couldn't have lunch in your office. I appreciate you coming here."
He shifts and I swear I feel his cock give a little jerk. I'm pressed up against him and feel every glorious hard inch of his body, and I'm pretty certain he's getting hard.
Michelle: The Ties That Bind (Auction Night Book 3) Page 3