To: Reed
It’s Enzo. I know you don’t want them to help us with this, but you gotta trust me. We can’t keep fuckin’ around, brother. Just trust that I can handle my family. They’ll help us nab this son of a bitch. I’m leaving as soon as I can.
I hand the phone back to Angel. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” She replies. Her phone makes a buzzing sound and she flips the phone around. I smirk, never thinking I’d see Reed telling me to have safe travels. It just goes to show me that this situation has gotten a hundred times worse. At this point, Reed must know there’s no way in hell we won’t get Max without any additional manpower.
“Anyone know when I can break the hell out of this joint?” I ask. Trick just shakes his head. As soon as I can, I’m gone – like a bat out of hell.
3
Some memories never leave your bones. Like salt in the sea, they become part of you – and you carry them.
-Paperwings
Ksenia
I walk down the grand staircase of our home, overhearing parts of a conversation that chills my bones to the ultimate core. My brother and sister are speaking in Russian, looking like they’re keeping a secret. I don’t know what’s happened, but based solely on the way Katya and Dmitri are speaking in hushed whispers, it makes me nervous.
I have Pippa in my arms, holding her body against me. She fell asleep a few minutes ago, and she’s been tuckered out ever since. Pippa is my sister’s adoptive daughter, alongside my brother-in-law, Slasher. Katya isn’t able to have children because her ex-husband is a monster. In fact, he’s so much worse than I ever imagined he was. When she was married to him, I thought that meant that if I wasn’t safe, at least she would be. Only, I learned after the fact that wasn’t the case.
“What is the matter?” I ask, repositioning my arms under Pippa. One has already fallen asleep in the short time I’ve been supporting her.
Katya turns her head in my direction, her black and silver hair almost moving in a slow type motion. Dmitri leaves a smug look on his face, causing me to think that he’s hiding something. I’ve been quite good at figuring out when he’s keeping things to himself since we’ve been reacquainted. “Brother, I will not ask again. What has you two speaking our native tongue …and in hushed whispers no less. No one here speaks Russian …so there is no need to keep quiet.”
Dmitri looks to Katya and then back over to me. I know that he is contemplating whether or not he will tell me. The expression on his face tells me just that. Over my life, I have always been treated like a fragile, little dove by my sister and now my brother is doing the same. “I am not some weak thing, Dmitri. I have grown so much over the years. Whatever has happened …you must tell me. I heard a bomb referenced. Now, tell me.” I speak clearly, maintaining the strength of the words that just spilled from my mouth. I refuse to have them doubt me right now. Katya has always wanted to shield me from the harmful, most painful parts of life, but she cannot do that. In fact, no one can. She might have thought she was doing it for all of those years, but I was getting treated in the same exact way that she was.
“Alright.” Dmitri speaks, changing from Russian to English. “There was a bombing at Bubba’s. Some of the girls didn’t make it.”
My eyes widen at the thought of this awful news. I look to Katya in the hopes that this is all some joke, but she shakes her head. If I’ve learned anything throughout my life, it’s that awful things always happen to good people. Katya and I knew the girls well …but I knew them better, considering I was viewed as one of them for a time.
I don’t want to ask this question, but I know that I must. I have to know who. Which poor souls parted this earth before their time. “Who died?”
Katya opens her mouth to speak, but Dmitri talks over her. I think he wanted to save her from telling me the bad news. “Malvina, Nonna, Olga, Svetlana, Tamara and Polina.” He says their names slowly, pausing in between each to give me a moment to accept their fates.
“How? I don’t understand how this could have happened to them.” I state, feeling a fullness in my chest. I try not to allow my emotions to overcome me, but these girls were my friends. We experienced something horrific together, something that most wouldn’t have survived.
Dmitri scowls, showing me that he knows more than he’s admitting.
“Speak, brother.” I hiss out, glaring between the two of them. “I will not fall apart like some porcelain doll. Now, tell me how my friends died.”
“The bar was bombed sometime this afternoon. I don’t know all of the details, but what I do know is that Max was behind it.”
“Max?” I say the name aloud, trying to piece together who this man is.
“Yes, he used to be with the Skulls a few years ago. He was the man that attacked Michelle …” He stops speaking and I nod my head, remembering what Dmitri had told me. Max had hurt Michelle at Butch and Bellamy’s wedding. He hit her over and over again, and somehow she managed to escape, getting free from that foul human. I knew he was fucked up …but he’s so much more than that.
“Is he still alive?” I ask the question, not wanting to know the answer if he is. This man deserves to die in the most miserable of ways for doing what he has. He deserves to suffer, and so much more beyond that. I want him to suffer in ways that only psychopaths could dream up.
“Da.” My brother’s response is short.
Jenna comes down the hallway from the opposite side, looking to Dmitri. “She knows.” He tells her.
She scrunches up her brows, “Everything?”
I look to my brother, and back to my sister before I snap. “What are you keeping from me? I do not wish to have any more secrets between us.”
“As far as I know, Enzo is in the hospital.” Jenna blurts out. Dmitri’s face is taken over by nothing but rage and hurt. He’s never liked Enzo very much, but I’ve never had a problem with him. Actually, I’m quite fond of him. I’ve kept my feelings to myself for so long, out of respect for my brother, but that doesn’t mean that Enzo and I have any issues. Dmitri has had his problems with Enzo, and while I respect them …I don’t have any issues with Enzo. If I’ve been taught anything today, it’s that we only get one life and need to live it to the fullest that we can.
I know that I can’t act emotional right now, because if I do …everything I’ve been fighting to keep together will come crumbling apart. “What? Is he alright?” I ask as the pitch of my voice hits a higher level. Pippa stirs in my arms and grumbles, wiping her eyes.
Katya is quick to come over to me and give her daughter a kiss on the forehead. “Hello my little one. Your Uncle Dmitri is going to take you into the living room. You can sleep in your tent. How does that sound?” Katya bought Pippa this pink, green and yellow tent. It looks something like a fort that a child would have in their playroom, but in the tent is a sort of pillow thing that acts like a comfy place to lounge around.
I glance down and see Pippa smiling. Katya waves her hand over for Dmitri to come and fetch her daughter, and I help her get snuggled into my brother’s arms. He takes Pippa and walks off down the hallway. “It will be nice that she isn’t the only child, we’ll have here soon.” Katya smirks, putting her hand over my belly.
“She is not the only child. Bianca comes to visit.” I state, mentioning our younger half-sister’s daughter. Mariana and her husband, Ion, don’t bring their daughter too much anymore, but for a while we were all living together.
“Are you going to see him?” Jenna asks me, concern laced through her eyes. She looks up and down my body, focusing on my small, yet visible baby bump. “You should. Katya and I have kept your secret …but you can’t be avoiding him forever …and you didn’t tell him the last time he was here. You said you were going to.” Jenna keeps her voice in a whisper, but I don’t want to hear it.
“I was going to …but I got scared. It’s not exactly like we have anything normal.” I mumble, grazing my hand over my stomach.
Katya pulls her hand away,
walking over to a small table we have in the hallway. She grabs her keys and tosses them over to me. “Go, and get going before our darling brother has anything to say about it. Plus, you’ll want to tell your baby daddy before our brother finds out who that munchkin’s father is.” I didn’t want to tell him like this, but I really don’t see any other option. I walk over to the closet by the door and grab my purse. There's only one place I'm going, and that's wherever Enzo is. I just hope he doesn't kill me once he finds out the secret I've been keeping.
4
I am hopelessly in love with a memory. An echo from another time, another place.
-Echo
Enzo
I've been stuck here for the past day. That’s a day longer than I wanted to be here, but they say, I needed to stay under their observation a little longer. When I tried to leave the first time and get my ass out of this joint, I thought Angel was going to damn near kill me. The only reason I ended up staying was because she was in the room. If she wasn't here, I would have left. I would already have been on the West coast by now.
Angel brought me a new phone yesterday, right before she and Trick left for the night. I've been re downloading apps and keeping myself as busy as I can to pass the time. I'm about to hit the call button just to get some entertainment for a few minutes, when a vision of snow white hair approaches me.
I think I'm imagining it as she walks closer to me. Something is different about her and I just can't quite put my finger on it. I narrow my eyes and scan over her body, trying to figure it out. That's when I see the bump. Or more specifically, the baby bump.
I don't know what to think as so many emotions flood through my head. At first, I'm hurt, thinking that she's been with someone else. But as she comes closer, I start to gather my thoughts. We may never have had anything official, but I know this woman. She would never ever do anything to hurt me. I have no doubt about that.
“Did you eat a watermelon or something?” I ask, sporting a small smile across my face. She's not nearly that big, but pregnant women always think they're fat. I'm going to fuck with her just a little bit, 'cause she's obviously kept a secret from me.
Her smile slowly fades as she hears my joke. I only wanted to screw with her a bit. “Relax, girl. I'm just messing around. Is there anything you wanna tell me though?” I wipe my hand across my face as I chuckle.
“I'm sorry. Really, I am so sorry that I've kept this secret from you. It just never seemed to be the right time. I realize now that was silly of me… Because I didn't tell you earlier, here I am showing up to your hospital room …pregnant.”
“You're damn right it was silly. It was pretty dumb too. Why would you keep something like this from me?” Now that the shock is wearing off, I really don't know what to think. Why didn't she tell me? Was she worried I'd make her abort it? Was she worried that I wouldn't want her? Or is it the elephant that is always in the room with us …her family.
“I …I was scared to tell you. I didn't know how to react, and I had a hard time accepting the fact that I am pregnant myself. Plus, we both know how my family is. Dmitri still doesn't know anything, and I don't know if I want him to.” She comes rushing over to me, setting her tiny ass on the bed, she takes her hand and runs it through my hair. “I don't want anything to happen to you, and we both know my brother, he will do anything to keep me from you.”
“Sweetheart, your brother is going to have to try really hard to get me out of your life.” I put my hand on her stomach, trying to feel the life inside her that is no doubt half mine.
It's no surprise that Dmitri and I have had problems ever since we've met. But I won't allow our past to dictate our future. Here Ksenia is pregnant with my child, and I'm sorry but, I won't allow anything to come in between us now. Actually, I'm not sorry in the least bit. Her and I have been together on and off a handful of times and the one thing that keeps us from being apart is her brothers input. They may have been separated for many, many years, but it's almost like she allows him to rule her life. Not anymore, I refuse to allow him to have this power over us. He's going to find out one way or another, and from the looks of it that will be very soon.
I grab her by the back of the hair and pull her lips down onto mine. I kiss her in a way that I've never kissed any woman, in a way that I want to speak to her soul. I want her to know that I missed her more than she could ever know. I don't want her to have a doubt in her mind that I want her. More importantly, I want her to know just how much I care.
She kisses me back with an innocence that she has only ever been able to give me. Even though this woman has been through hell and back – quite literally, you'd never be able to tell. She doesn't allow her past to haunt her present. I feel her tense up, nervous about the way I’ve kissed her. Of course, the door to my hospital room is wide open. We've only ever done anything behind closed doors. It's always been safer that way, being in a secret, hidden place. I've wanted her for a while and while I've had her, I haven't really had her. I've only had parts of Ksenia, parts that were shown to me in secret. Parts that no one knows I know about her. While the woman has her demons, she has angels that fight them for her.
“Are you doing okay?” I ask her. My voice goes to show her how concerned I am. These weren't just women that died in this bombing. They were her friends. Friends that she's gone through hell and back with.
“I'm managing I suppose.” Something in the way she speaks tells me that she's barely keeping it together. I can't blame her for that, if the roles were reversed and my brothers died in that fire, I don't think I could keep it together half as good as she is. “Enzo, I don't know what we do now. I don't know where we all go from here.”
“That's easy, we have a funeral to celebrate the lives of the ones we've lost. We re-build Bubba’s to something greater than we could have ever imagined, and we make this slimy bastard pay for everything's he's done. He's gotten away with this for far too long. I'm tired of it sweetheart, and I'm going to make sure he pays.”
“How are you going to do that?”
“All in time. It looks like you and I are going to have a lot to work through over these next few weeks. I expect that your brother will be in attendance at the funerals?”
“I would expect nothing less.” she says, her nervousness peeking through her voice.
“Well, then …it looks like we're going to have to tackle one battle at a time, starting with telling your brother about me, and the fact that I'm the father of our child.” A look of fear spreads across her face, and I won't admit it out loud, but I'm a little scared too. But regardless of our fear we must do what's right. And I won't let us live a lie.
5
“We’ve got to go live, no matter how many skies have fallen.”
-D. H. Lawrence
Ksenia
I thought that I have felt fear in my life, but never have I felt fear such as this. Enzo is being discharged in about 20 minutes. They've already begun the paperwork and now we just wait. But why do we wait? The longer we wait, the more nervous I get. Because we're not going back to the clubhouse. Enzo asked me to take him to The Russian Manor as he and the other brothers in the club call it. He wants me to tell my brother everything today.
I don't know how I'm going to do this. I'm not the weak, fragile, kid sister that Dmitri thinks I am. I've grown so much over the years and even though I see it, I still think my brother views me as a baby. He constantly wants to protect me in any way that sees fit. I don't mind my family wanting to protect me. We've all been through a lot, and that’s a vast understatement. It’s funny how I say I am not weak, and yet I am afraid to tell my brother, I have fallen head over heels for the one man he doesn’t approve of.
I just don't think that Dmitri realizes what it is that he is doing. Instead of living my life in the way that I want to. No, the way that I deserve to – I'm living a life that I think will please my brother. I’m no longer a prisoner, and yet I am. My sister and I are away from the dangerous clutches of Sergei Kolosov
, but I'm imprisoned by the future that my brother wants me to have.
Throughout my life, I've only ever had my decisions made for me. Lorenzo does not do that to me. Whenever I've been with him, we make decisions as a team. While he may be old fashioned in some context, he doesn't agree with me or make me feel that I am less than him. Even though we never officially dated, we work as a team. That is what I want. I want to be valued. I want to be someone's partner. What I don't want is for every decision to be made for me. I don't want another man, family or not, to think that they have the right to make these decisions for me.
All in all, I want to be free. I have been called a little dove since the day I was born. It was a name that our vile mother gave me and both my brother and sister kept around. Now, all I want to do is to be able to spread my wings. I just hope that Dmitri will respect my wishes and allow me to.
“What are you thinking about?” Enzo asks me from the passenger seat. I think about telling him something else, basically telling him a lie, but I won’t. I don’t ever want to lie to him. This man has seen some of the darkest parts of me …and still he treats me with respect.
“I'm thinking about how scared I am to confront him. I know that this is probably going to happen one way or another, but it doesn't mean that I've ever been ready for it.”
He takes his hand from his leg and grabs the one I don’t have on the steering wheel, running his thumb over the top of my hand. “Everything will be fine one way or another. You know I’d never let anything bad happen to you, sweetheart.”
It’s not like I think Dmitri will cause any physical harm to me, or mine and Enzo’s child …but I know my brother. He’ll have no problem shoving a knife through Enzo’s heart. Once Dmitri doesn’t like you, don’t ever expect to get on his good side because it simply won’t happen.
Retribution: Skulls Renegade MC Book #10 Page 2