by Matt Zachary
“I don’t know...we’ll see,” Billy answered, looking over to his uncle who was already glaring at him. “You’ll have to ask Uncle Bob,” Billy added, even though to them he was their Pa-Pa.
“Can we?” Sarah and Sonya cried in unison, repeatedly.
“Ain’t no need for two young girls to go off with a man alone,” Uncle Bob growled.
“I think one little drive to town and back wouldn’t hurt any,” Aunt BJ answered, smiling at the girls and then giving a dirty look to her husband.
Billy could tell his uncle wasn’t happy about not getting the last word, but he hoped maybe he wouldn’t hold a grudge and take it out on Billy, Monday. At least he would have two days off for his uncle to forget, or at least get mad about something else.
The second dinner was over and he had helped wash the dishes, Billy gave his aunt a kiss on the cheek and announced he would be outside in his jeep. “Okay, sugar,” she laughed. For her, having Billy around was a little like having her son back. Any joy she saw in him gave her joy as well.
Billy sat in the jeep and just spent a moment enjoying the feel of the leather beneath his rear before starting the engine. He sent a text to Stuart to see if he was busy and then fumbled with the radio to find a rock station. When he couldn’t find one, he switched to satellite radio instead. For some reason, he really liked the ‘80’s’ channel.
YEAH. I’M HERE. CAN YOU TALK? - Stuart replied.
Billy looked at his phone hoping maybe it had enough of a signal to get to actually speak to Stuart, but the signal looked to be too weak. He felt bad that he had spent days without being able to hear Stuart’s voice.
HOLD ON - he wrote back and quickly ran back inside.
“Can I take a drive for a little bit?” he asked his aunt. He knew if he asked his uncle, the answer would be ‘no’.
“Sure, just don’t be too late,” she replied, but with a worried expression.
“I promise, I won’t be more than an hour or two!” Billy exclaimed as he kissed her on the cheek once again and ran off. He felt a little strange asking permission o go anywhere since he had basically been raising himself for the last several years. But, a small part of him liked it. At least it felt like he had people that cared for him...like a real family.
Once he was back in the jeep, he texted Stuart back: I GOT MY JEEP TODAY. I’M GOING TO DRIVE AROUND TO FIND A SIGNAL AND I’LL CALL YOU.
He was so excited as he backed out of the driveway and headed down the road that he didn’t even realize that he had no idea where he was going. As soon as he hit a stop sign, he stopped and accessed his GPS and looked for the closest town. It was twenty miles away. Soon, he told himself, he would get to hear Stuart’s voice. He smiled from ear to ear as he drove down the long, dusty road.
Chapter 7
“Hello, Sexy,” Stuart said when he answered Billy’s call.
“It’s so good to hear your voice! I miss you so much!” Billy was talking so fast. Inside he felt like he had so much to say and wanted to make sure to get all of it out before the signal went out.
“I miss you too,” Stuart replied, hoping that Billy couldn’t hear his voice trembling. He wanted to remain strong for Billy. Even though he missed Billy, Stuart knew he had it easy. At least for him, everything was still the same as it was the week before he met Billy. For Billy, everything was scary and different, though. “Everyone at school is sad to know you won’t be walking with the class at graduation,” Stuart quickly added to change the conversation, but quickly realized maybe it wasn’t the best change.
“I know,” Billy said. “I’ll be there with you in spirit, as I sling slop for the pigs,” he laughed. Nothing could depress him at that moment. He could hear Stuart’s voice and feel his love and that was enough for him.
After Stuart told Billy everything that had been happening that week for him, which wasn’t that much really, he asked Billy to fill him in on what his new family was like. “It’s hard to really get a picture of them through short text messages.”
“Yeah. Well, did you ever meet Coach Manzelli before he retired?” Billy asked. “My Uncle is kind of like him, but ten times meaner.”
“Oh, I hated that guy. He used to pick on me all the time, freshman year,” Stuart confessed, which wasn’t very shocking since he wasn’t a jock or very athletically inclined.
“Yeah...well, my uncle doesn’t really pick on me...he just barely talks to me, and never really has a nice word to say,” Billy explained. “I think he resents me being here.”
“I’m sorry,” Stuart offered with concern.
Billy quickly let him know that his aunt was very sweet, though. “I think she misses her son. I’m not really sure where he is, but she seems to dote on me and she convinced Uncle Bob to let me have Saturdays and Sunday off on the farm,” Billy happily reported.
“That’s good. I still can’t picture you living the country life on a farm,” Stuart cracked up at the image in his head. “Do you wear overalls and bite on a piece of straw?”
“Very funny, Mr. Comedian!” Billy replied, but he was laughing too. He didn’t mind being teased. He knew Stuart didn’t mean anything by it.
The two of them talked for a good hour before Stuart realized he needed to head back. He had promised his aunt he wouldn’t be gone longer than two hours, and he didn’t want to abuse her trust. He would need her on his side if he was going to survive almost thirty more weeks.
“I don’t want to say goodbye,” Stuart whined, but Billy said they could talk until the signal went out.
“Just know that I love you, okay? And, if the signal goes out, I’ll text you when I get to the house. Besides, I’m off tomorrow, so I can call you again then.”
As soon as Billy told him that, Stuart’s voice pepped back up. The two were only able to talk for about ten minutes more before the call started going out. The did manage to exchange ‘I love you’s’ before they were finally disconnected.
As quickly as Billy came to life upon hearing Stuart’s voice, his mood did a one-eighty when the call ended. He quickly snapped out of it though, and instead of dwelling on the loneliness he went over the call again in his head. It was almost like he was still talking to Stuart.
“Oh, you’re home,” Aunt BJ called from the living room where she sat on the sofa knitting.
“Am I late?” Billy asked noting the sound of relief in his aunt’s voice as he looked at the time on his phone.
“No, no. You’re on time. I just worry,” she answered. As Billy looked in her eyes, he could see pain in her eyes. He wanted to ask her about it and if it had anything to do with her son, but he figured if she wanted him to know...she would tell him on her own.
“Well, I didn’t mean to make you worry,” he replied in a very genuine tone. “I’m going to go up to bed.”
“Okay, sugar. I should be getting to bed too.”
As Billy climbed the stairs, he could hear Sarah and Sonya playing in their room. He attempted to walk past but, as he did, they spotted him.
“Will you take us for a ride tomorrow?” Sarah asked.
“Pleeeeaaaasssseeeeee?” Sonya added.
Billy couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay,” he finally agreed, “but, only if you get your Nana’s permission.”
“She already said yes,” Sonya answered back with a bit of a smart-assed tone.
“Well, still, ask her again when it’s time to go. I’ll take you guys into town for ice cream,” Billy suggested. He didn’t have much money since he wasn’t getting paid by his uncle, but he did have what Stuart gave him. He planned to save most of that for gas, but he could use a little of it for ice cream.
“Yay!” the girls cheered and hugged Billy as he laughed.
“I gotta get to bed,” he told them. It wasn’t just an excuse to get them to let go of him before his uncle saw the interaction and decided it was inappropriate. He really was tired. It had been a long day, and a long week. One thing he didn’t have any trouble with was falling asle
ep.
He did make sure to text Stuart back before going to the bathroom and then climbing into bed. Within seconds, he had fallen asleep, even before getting a reply from Stuart. His dreams, though, were filled with thoughts of the day they would be back together.
Chapter 8
The second Billy emerged from his room and made it down to the breakfast table, his great nieces were all over him. “We can go! We can go!” they sang as they ate their pancakes.
“What?” Billy asked as he took a huge bite of the fluffy syrup drenched cakes. “Mmmmm...,” he involuntarily moaned.
“You said you’d take us into town for ice cream if we got permission,” Sarah answered him, reminding Billy of their conversation from the night before.
“And that’s okay?” he asked his aunt before changing the subject. “Man, these are good! If you keep feeding me this well, I’m going to be twice the size in a matter of weeks.”
Aunt BJ and the girls all laughed at Billy. It was clear they all liked him very much. Billy was glad his uncle wasn’t there with them. He knew he would only disapprove. Still, he felt guilty for being inside and enjoying a day off while his uncle was still hard at work.
“It’s fine...on one condition,” Aunt BJ answered. “You have to take me with you,” she told Billy who immediately agreed. He had no problem taking his aunt with him. He looked forward to getting to know all three of them a little better.
After breakfast, Billy took his time getting showered and ready. During the week, he didn’t have that luxury and he didn’t plan on wasting it. Once he was all done, though, he headed outside to check on his uncle. He thought maybe that if he had some free time, he would offer his help after returning from taking everyone into town for ice cream.
Billy found his uncle working on the tractor. He tried to make small talk, but his uncle was a man of few words, so eventually Billy just walked away. He hoped that one day he could break through the gruff exterior and at least earn his uncle’s trust and respect.
Just after lunch, when they were all about to leave, Aunt BJ entered the living room with a worried look on her face. “I’m sorry, I have bad news,” she announced. “I can’t go into town.”
“But, we can still go, right?” Sonya asked, not really concerned with whatever was wrong...only how it affected her.
Aunt BJ glanced from the girls to Billy with concern for a minute before answering. “I guess it would be okay,” she finally agreed before adding, “but, be careful!”
“We can do it some other time,” Billy suggested, sensing that his aunt really wasn’t comfortable with him taking the girls into town.
“No...we want to go today!” Sonya cried, followed by Sarah.
“No, you just go on and do what you planned. Just be careful and don’t be gone too long,” Aunt BJ said. She kissed and hugged both girls tightly before letting them go...and, even as they drove away, she kept an eye on them from the window.
“She’s quite attached to you two,” Billy joked as he headed toward the main road, glancing in his rear view mirror to make sure that both girls were wearing their seat belts.
“That’s only because of what happened...,” Sarah began but was cut off mid-sentence by her sister.
“You know Nana doesn’t like us to talk about that!” Sonya chastised.
Billy wanted to ask Sarah to finish what she was about to say, but his phone chimed.
As he held the phone up to see the message, which was a picture of Stuart holding a sign that said ‘I Love You!’, Sonya strained to see.
“Who’s that?” she asked.
“It’s Stuart...he and I used to go to school together,” Billy answered a little uneasily. He wasn’t ashamed of his relationship with Stuart, but he really didn’t know if they were boyfriends. And, besides that, he didn’t know how the girls would react to him being gay. So, he remained as vague as possible hoping the girls wouldn’t press for more information.
Rather than text Stuart back while driving, Billy put the phone back in the console and decided to play a game with the girls. If he could keep them busy, there was less of a chance that they would ask any personal questions.
For the rest of the drive they played the alphabet game...where they had to spot something starting with the first letter of the alphabet. Then, the next person would look for something beginning with the second letter of the alphabet and so on. There really wasn’t a winner to the game, but the girls seemed to enjoy playing it none the less. Billy got the sense that they didn’t get off the farm much.
As promised, Billy drove to the ice cream parlor he had seen the day before and let the girls have their pick of anything they wanted. Shortly after sitting down, though, Sarah began to cry.
“What’s the matter?” Billy asked, assuming that she had hurt herself somehow.
It took Sarah a few seconds to even calm down enough to try to answer. “The last time we went for ice cream was the day before...,” she blubbered, almost incoherently.
“Sarah, stop!” Sonya yelled and slammed her fist on the table.
“I won’t stop!” Sarah yelled back. “Are we supposed to act like it didn’t happen? Mama and Daddy died! And I’m tired of never being able to talk about it!” Sarah’s tears had dried and she had turned her sadness into anger.
Billy didn’t know what to make of her words. He had no idea that their parents were dead. As they ate their ice cream, though, he let Sarah tell him what happened. Apparently, a drunk driver hit their car as they were returning from a dinner date with their friends. Fortunately, the girls were at their Pa-Pa’s and Nana’s being babysat.
Suddenly it all made sense to Billy...why Aunt BJ seemed so worried anytime he got in his jeep and why she didn’t seem to want the girls going into town without her. She had already lost her son and worried about losing her grandkids as well.
“Well, my mom died too,” Billy told the girls, hoping that maybe by talking about it all it would help them deal with it better. At the very least, they would know that he could understand what they were going through.
In spite of the depressing conversation, the girls and Billy had a good time at the ice cream parlor. They spent their time telling funny stories from the past and celebrating the lives of their lost loved ones. It was cleansing. He only hoped his aunt and uncle would see it the same way.
Chapter 9
When the girls got home, they told their Nana all about the drive and what kind of ice cream they each got. Neither girl elaborated on their topic of conversation, though.
However, Billy took another drive after dinner so he could talk to Stuart. Upon his return, things were not nearly as calm.
“I told you he’d be trouble if we took him in!” Billy’s uncle yelled as Billy entered the house.
“He is family, Robert!” Aunt BJ replied just as furiously. She called her husband by his proper name when she was mad at him, and this was one of those times.
Uncle Bob was not backing down though. “Not trouble?” he asked rhetorically. “What do you call this!?”
“Did I do something wrong?” Billy asked, stepping into the living room and making his presence known.
“Yer damn right you did something wrong!” Uncle Bob snapped, turning his attention away from his wife and towards Billy who had no clue as to what he had stepped into.
“Everything’s fine,” Aunt BJ told Billy and tried to force a smile, though Billy could see she was clearly stressed out. He just didn’t know if he was the cause of the stress or if Uncle Bob was. “Your uncle is just a little upset over what you talked to the girls about at the ice cream parlor.”
It turned out that after dinner, the girls retold some of the stories they had shared earlier that afternoon. They thought that since Billy allowed them to talk about their parents, it must not be a bad thing.
“We talked about the girls’ parents...your son, and daughter-in-law!” Billy explained to his Uncle. He was trying not to sound angry but inside his blood was boiling.
Just because his aunt and uncle couldn’t seem to handle what had happened didn’t mean that Sarah and Sonya should have to erase their parents from their minds.
“You’re in our house and you’ll abide by our rules!” Uncle Bob yelled, his face turning a darker shade of red.
Rather than argue, Billy just walked away and headed upstairs. His uncle was clearly agitated and he was afraid if he continued to speak his mind, Uncle Bob might’ve suffered a heart attack or something.
Downstairs, he could hear the arguing continue...for quite some time. He tried to put on his headphones and tune it out, but curiosity got the better of him, so he listened in.
Billy heard how his uncle was basically forced to let him come and stay with them. Uncle Bob didn’t want anything to do with his brother or his brother’s son. “I won’t have no citified spoiled brat living in my home, eating the food I work hard for,” Uncle Bob had told his wife.
“If you ever want to eat any of that food that you work so hard for, you will accept him with open arms and I don’t want to hear another word about it!” Aunt BJ ordered.
Billy sat there listening, feeling bad that he had brought such havoc onto their lives. A part of him thought about packing his suitcase, sneaking down the stairs and driving back home...back to Stuart. The only thing stopping him, really, was that he didn’t have enough gas money to make it that far.
Just as the fighting was coming to an end, Billy heard footsteps climbing the stairs so he quickly ran to the bed and grabbed a book he had been reading in his small amount of free time.
Within seconds, he heard a soft knock at the door. It was his Aunt BJ asking if she could come in.
Rather than just yell that the door was open, Billy approached and opened the door himself. “Are you okay?” he asked. If he hadn’t have heard that his had aunt had been crying during the argument, he could definitely tell from looking at her tear streaked face.