Toby Great. Tom’s a genius, blah blah. Listen, Eric –
Eric I still have your boxes, by the way.
Toby My – ?
Eric Your parents’ things.
Toby Oh. You didn’t have to keep those.
Eric I just figured you might want them some day. Listen, Toby, the reason I asked you here today / is that I –
Toby I’m glad you did because there’s something I need to say to you.
Eric I’m sure there’s a lot we have to say to each other. If I could maybe go first –
Toby I made a mistake letting you go.
Silence, then …
Eric Oh, Toby.
Toby It’s been a long time since I heard you say that.
Eric Toby, listen, I –
Toby I know, I know. We haven’t seen each other in months. And the breakup was ugly. But I can’t seem to move on from you.
Eric Toby.
Toby I just … I didn’t realize just how much you kept me together. I got distracted by Adam. By the play. I got swallowed whole by my own asshole. I can see that now. I love you, Eric. And I’m completely lost without you.
Eric Toby, I’m getting married.
The Grand Canyon.
Toby What?
Eric I’m getting married in October.
Toby To who?
Eric Henry Wilcox.
Silence. Then Toby starts laughing.
Toby That’s – You’re good – I – Wow, you really – I totally fell for that.
Eric I’m not joking.
Toby Okay, Eric. You got me once.
Eric Toby, I’m marrying Henry Wilcox.
Toby No you’re not.
Eric Yes I am.
Toby Stop that.
Eric I’m marrying Henry.
Toby Why do you keep saying that?
Eric Because it’s true.
Toby Fuck you.
Eric Excuse me?
Toby I just poured my heart out to you and you go and do this to me? Fuck you, Eric.
Eric This isn’t about you, Toby.
Toby Yes it is! We’re together for seven years and then seven months go by and now you love him and you’re marrying this guy?
Eric You left me, remember? For Adam. My life is none of your business anymore.
Toby Please, Eric. I need you. I’m falling apart without you.
Eric I have spent the last seven months in more pain than I have ever been in because of you. And I finally find just a fraction of the happiness I felt with you and you do this to me. It is so unfair of you.
Toby You’re making the worst mistake of your life.
Eric No, Toby. You are the worst mistake of my life.
Toby I love you, Eric.
Eric I pray that one day you’ll be able to say that to someone and actually mean it.
5. Toby’s Agent
Toby Toby gets a call from his agent.
Agent What the hell happened today?
Toby What do you mean?
Agent Tom wants you out of the room.
Toby What do you mean, ‘out of the room’?
Agent As in barred from rehearsals.
Toby They can’t fire me from my own play.
Agent Adam doesn’t feel safe with you in the room.
Toby He said that?!
Agent He’s filing a complaint with Equity.
Toby That duplicitous little twink and his pederastic Svengali. I’ll pull the rights.
Agent And you will never get produced in New York again.
Toby Why aren’t you fighting for me?
Agent I am. but you are making it really difficult. You threw your script at Adam?
Toby Not at his head! How long am I barred from rehearsals?
Agent I’m sure it will blow over in a few days … definitely by tech … I’ll see if I can get you into previews.
Toby ‘Get me in’? It’s my play!
Agent Well, unless you have three million dollars with which to produce it yourself when your producers walk away from it, that’s not going to do you much good.
Toby This is fucking bullshit! I’ll sue them!
Agent No, you will not. You’re going to take a vacation.
Toby I don’t want to take a vacation, I want to work on my play.
Agent The play is done. You said so yourself. Let them finish rehearsals. Go to the beach. Take one of the twenty-nothings you’re fucking these days and leave Tom and Adam to their work.
Toby Toby hangs up on his agent, blistering with rage. He calls Adam and immediately gets his voicemail.
Adam Beep.
Toby You would be nothing without me, do you understand? You would be nothing without this part. I gave you this chance, I’m the one who made it happen. Me. It wasn’t Tom and his magical fifty-year-old Viagra dick, which by now I’m sure has given you herpes. I will never speak to you again, I don’t ever even want to look at you again. And when you win the Tony for this role, which you will, it will be because of me and the part that I’ve written. So if you don’t thank me in your acceptance speech – and I mean, like really lick my ass – I will make sure that everyone knows how you betrayed me and what a back-stabbing, malicious, cock-teasing little Eve Harrington you are. And just for the record: Timothée Chalamet, Ben Platt and Lucas Hedges all passed on this part before we offered it to you. So you should probably thank them in your Tony speech, too. So in conclusion: fuck you, Adam. I wish I’d never / met you.
Adam Beep.
Toby Toby is about to leave a similar voicemail for Tom when a text from Leo appears:
Leo You home?
Toby Yes. Bring your ass over now.
And a swimsuit.
End of Scene Three.
SCENE FOUR
1. Fire Island
Summer, 2017.
Leo Leo had never seen the ocean. Never walked on a beach or felt the pull of undertow on his feet.
Young Man 6 His fears, his misfortunes, his entire life history momentarily vanished in the face of such immensity.
Leo For the first time in his life, Leo felt he had enough room to breathe.
Young Man 2 Toby maxed out his credit cards renting a small cottage in Cherry Grove.
Young Man 3 He’d invited Leo to join him, not at all certain he would accept.
Young Man 7 Leo did not hesitate.
Young Man 5 They left the next morning on a seven o’clock train, both in search of an escape from the sweltering, angry city.
Young Man 4 Leo packed an old roll-behind suitcase that rattled along the boardwalk, filled with all the books Toby had bought him.
Leo He would wake early each morning and walk along the beach as the sun was rising.
Young Man 4 Eventually planting himself in the sand to read.
Young Man 8 Leo tore through his books at an almost frantic pace.
Young Man 1 Jane Austen.
Young Man 2 Charles Dickens.
Young Man 3 Christopher Isherwood.
Young Man 4 Zadie Smith.
Young Man 5 Charlotte Brontë. Young Man 6 Hilary Mantel.
Young Man 7 David Mitchell.
Young Man 8 Evelyn Waugh.
Young Man 6 Leo read like an addict, his mind expanding with every novel.
Young Man 2 Emily Brontë.
Young Man 3 Somerset Maugham.
Young Man 4 Lawrence Durrell.
Young Man 5 Graham Greene.
Young Man 7 Virginia Woolf.
Young Man 6 E. M. Forster.
Leo Leo opened Howards End and from the first sentence, his life forever changed.
Young Man 4 ‘One may as well begin with Helen’s letters to her sister.’
Young Man 8 What was it about Forster that spoke to him out of all the other writers he encountered that summer?
Leo While the world Forster wrote about no longer existed, his characters hummed with a human truth – he felt their vibrations.
Young Man 4 It was when he opened Maurice that Leo unders
tood the reason for his bond with Forster.
Young Man 3 Like the character of Maurice Hall, Leo had spent his life feeling lonely and unloved; damaged beyond redemption.
Young Man 2 Leo understood the simple yet powerful connection of a gay man in the early twentieth century speaking directly to a young gay man at the start of the twenty-first.
Young Man 8 Forster was the first writer to reach a hand out to Leo and say,
Young Man 4 ‘I have felt as you feel. You are not alone. I will be with you always.’
Toby Jesus! We’re on Fire Island! The last thing anyone comes here to do is read!
Leo By they end of their second week, they were regular fixtures at dances, at house parties.
Toby Let’s dance, let’s drink, let’s get fucked up!
Leo Cocaine and Molly for the most part. Pot to take the edge off. Valium to sleep. Alcohol like it was water.
Toby My friend Danny just brought some crystal back from the city. You wanna try it?
Leo I’ll do it if you do it.
Toby We’ll probably hate it and never do it again.
Leo They discovered that they loved it.
Young Man 8 And of course there was sex.
Young Man 7 Sex was everywhere.
Young Man 4 In the heat of the sun –
Young Man 3 – and the shade of the dunes.
Young Man 6 In the music and the dancing –
Young Man 5 – in the pools and hot tubs –
Young Man 3 – and along the twisty pathways of the Meat Rack.
Young Man 2 Toby and Leo fucked each other constantly.
Young Man 7 Toby devoured Leo’s body.
Young Man 8 As if Toby was addicted to him.
Leo Over time, Leo learned to give himself over so openly, so unapologetically to Toby’s desire. It was different from the kind of sex he was accustomed to. It approached what Leo suspected might be called lovemaking. For Leo already knew that he loved Toby.
Young Man 8 But did Toby love him?
Young Man 6 That was the question that rattled around Leo’s mind that summer.
Leo Hadn’t Toby rescued him? Given him books? Shown him kindness? Didn’t Toby hold him tightly in his arms every night as they slept? Wasn’t that love?
2. Party in the Pines
A great dance party.
Toby How are you feeling?
Leo Soooo gooood. This Molly you gave me is like silk.
Toby Yeah, my friend Danny can get some good shit. You like Danny, don’t you?
Leo Yeah, he’s cool.
Toby Because I know for a fact that he likes you.
Leo How do you know that?
Toby Because he just texted me a few minutes ago inviting us over. Look at this:
He shows Leo his phone.
There’s a full-on fuckfest happening at his place right now. You wanna go?
Leo Oh. I don’t know. Do you?
Toby Yeah, I really do. And Danny has specifically requested your presence.
Leo Why?
Toby Why do you think?
Leo He wants to fuck me?
Toby No, baby: they all wanna fuck you. Apparently they’ve been coveting your hot little ass ever since we got here.
Leo You wouldn’t get jealous?
Toby Toby doesn’t mind sharing his toys. I wanna watch all those guys with their hands all over you. Feeling you. Sucking you. Fucking you. You’ll feel like a god.
Leo You really want me to?
Toby Yes.
After a moment …
Leo Okay.
Toby Yeah?
Leo If that’s what you want …
Toby No, baby: that is what I need.
Young Man 5 And so they went to Danny’s party, where Toby watched Leo get fucked by seven strangers.
Young Man 4 More men arrived, each wanting to have their turn with Leo.
Young Man 2 Grabbing at him so hard, bruises started to form on his wrists.
Young Man 5 Leo assumed it would be one wild, debauched night and that Toby would be satisfied.
Young Man 3 But when this became a regular occurrence at these parties –
Young Man 8 When it eventually became the point of these parties –
Leo Leo began to feel even more worthless than he had when he arrived on the island.
Young Man 5 News of these parties –
Young Man 2 – bounced from phone –
Young Man 7 – to phone –
Young Man 6 – across the Pines.
Young Man 3 Pictures –
Young Man 8 – and videos soon followed.
Leo Leo walked down the boardwalk and knowing eyes would linger over his now familiar body.
Young Man 5 Toby had turned Leo into a commodity that summer –
Leo – trading Leo’s body away for access, for drugs –
Young Man 5 – for the friends he feared he couldn’t otherwise obtain.
3. Toby and Leo’s Bedroom
Toby enters. Leo is in bed, reading.
Toby God, I’ve created a monster. What are you reading now? (Peeking at the cover.) Maurice? But you’ve read that already.
Leo Would you ever want to live back then?
Toby A hundred years ago? No thank you.
Leo People had better manners.
Toby It’s called ‘repression’.
Leo Love was simple.
Toby Because it dared not speak its name. Trust me: you want to live now. With civil rights and air conditioning.
His phone dings.
Toby Richie and Joe invited us over. Come on, let’s go.
Leo I don’t really wanna walk all the way to the Pines tonight.
Toby But Richie just brought some coke back from the city.
Leo Can’t we just have a night in together?
Toby I told them we would go.
He continues to look at his phone. Then:
Oh my God. My play starts previews on Wednesday.
Leo Really?
Are you going back for it?
Toby I dunno. I mean, obviously I want to. But also, you know, fuck ’em.
Leo I could come with you.
Toby No! Only sadists and agents go to first previews.
Leo Oh. Okay.
Could I see your play at some point?
Toby If you want to.
Leo I would love to. If that’s okay.
Toby Why don’t you come to the opening as my date?
Leo You want me to go with you to your first Broadway opening?
Toby Yeah, why not? It’ll be a ridiculous night. Lots of celebs, lots of overstated praise. The party’s at the New York Public Library. So if you get bored, you can just grab a book and start reading.
Silence.
Leo What am I to you, Toby?
Toby What do you mean?
Leo One minute you’re passing me off to your friends like a joint and now you’re inviting me to share one of the most important nights of your life. How can I mean so much to you and so little?
Toby Leo –
Leo Am I actually a part of your life or am I just here for you and your friends to fuck?
Toby Whoa, wait. I thought you liked that.
Leo No, Toby, I hate it. You like it, which is why I do it.
Toby You can always say no.
Leo (not buying it) Can I?
Toby Why would you think you can’t?
Leo Because you’re paying for everything, including me.
Toby Leo, I invited you here as my guest.
Leo So why are you treating me like your whore? I don’t know if I’m supposed to be falling in love with you / or if I should just send you a bill for my time –
Toby Whoa, whoa, whoa … who said anything about falling in love?
This takes the wind out of Leo.
Leo Oh God, I’m so stupid.
Toby Leo …
Leo I am so confused, Toby. I don’t know what we’re doing here. I don’t know what you want fr
om me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel right now.
What are we, Toby?
Toby I don’t know what we are, Leo.
Leo Well what’s going to happen to me when we leave here? Will I ever see you again? Will you even think about me? Do you even think about me?
Toby I can’t tell the future, okay?
Leo But eventually …
Toby Eventually we’re both going to fucking die, okay? Eventually we’re going to get old and no one’s gonna want to fuck us and this summer will be a beautiful but distant memory. I don’t know what’s going to happen, Leo.
Leo sits on the bed, silently crying. Toby, realizing Leo is in need of more reassuring words, sits down next to him and searches for what to say to him.
I want you because you remind me of myself when I was your age.
I want you because I know what it’s like to want something more than what you’ve been given.
I want you because you once asked me to rescue you without knowing that the night we met, I desperately needed rescuing, too.
4. Eric’s Voicemails
Eric Toby, hey. It’s me.
I hate to leave this on your voicemail, but we need to find some kind of peace with each other if we’re ever going to fully heal. Call me when you’re ready.
Toby Delete.
Eric Hey Toby, it’s me. I hope the reason you haven’t called back is because you’re busy with previews. I hope things are going well.
Toby Delete.
Eric All right, Henry and I are getting married in two weeks – we’re actually calling it a celebration of marriage. Anyway, despite all that’s gone on between us this past year, I’d like you to be there. I’m sending an invitation. It’s the Saturday after your opening. Call me back.
Toby Delete.
Eric Toby, hi. I know your play is opening tonight. I know how hard you worked for this. You should be proud. My wedding’s on Saturday – well, my celebration of marriage. I would love to have you there. Break a leg tonight.
After a moment:
Toby Delete.
End of Scene Four.
SCENE FIVE
1. Toby’s Opening
Autumn, 2017.
Toby Toby’s play opens, as all important plays do, on a Thursday. He arrives at the theatre dressed in an impeccably tailored suit. Toby charges toward the step and repeat, basking in the glow of his moment of triumph. And as he stands there being photographed, Toby looks out at the sea of people crowding around the theatre and he realizes that he knows no one. His agents are here. And the producers. There are some famous people. But where are his friends? Where are his people? Where’s Eric? And the thought came to him like a deep throb: he has no friends, he has no people.
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