Eric No, I mean net worth.
Henry That’s a complicated answer.
Eric Well, let’s say you had to pay a ransom and the kidnappers told you to give them all the money you had available. How much would you pay?
Henry That depends on who’s been kidnapped.
Eric Let’s say it was me.
Henry I’ve probably got a couple hundred on me.
Why are you suddenly concerned with how much money I have?
Eric When I worked for Jasper, I did something I cared about. And it wasn’t just for me, it was, you know, for the greater good.
Henry And how does my net worth come to play in all this?
Eric Well, I was thinking I could do something with it. A part of it.
Henry You mean philanthropy?
Eric Yeah, maybe.
Henry I’m not going to let you spend my money empowering dyslexic pygmy hemp farmers through yoga and positive reinforcement.
Eric Well, obviously they’d have to be organic pygmy hemp farmers.
Henry Forgive me.
Eric I was thinking something a little less cartoonishly lefty than that.
Henry For instance:
Eric For instance: I have a friend whose boyfriend collects old winter coats and goes around the city giving them to any homeless people he encounters. I could support him.
Henry How?
Eric I could buy him a lot of coats.
Henry That’s not philanthropy, that’s charity.
Eric I doubt that a homeless person would quibble.
Henry You could also just give a homeless person fifty thousand dollars with which to rent and furnish an apartment.
Eric That’s a great idea. Let’s do that.
Henry No, let’s not. If there’s something philanthropic you’d like to engage yourself in, I think that’s a very good idea. It suits you. I can make some calls and get you on the board of some non-profit if you’d like. Why not City Ballet? But don’t just go tossing money out of car windows. What’s brought all this on?
Eric Oh … I just … I just … want my life to matter, you know.
Henry But your life does matter. To me, to your family, to your friends.
Eric I know that. I do. / I just …
Henry Would you like to know where we’re going for Christmas?
Eric? Have you ever skied in the Alps?
Eric No.
Henry Well there’s a first time for everything.
Eric I don’t own skis.
Henry’s assistant enters with a pair of skis, handing them to Eric.
Henry You do now.
Eric Henry Wilcox. You do take such good care of me.
Henry Now let me get back to work.
Eric As Eric sat there silently watching Henry work, an urge overcame and him and, before he could fight it, he stepped into the hall and called Toby, immediately getting his voicemail. ‘Listen, I feel really terrible about the things I said to you at the wedding. You deserved my anger but you did not deserve those words and I am sorry. I’m flying to Switzerland tonight. Apparently. After the New Year, I’d love to sit down with you and finally make some peace. I’m a little lost right now and I think I may need your help remembering who I am.’
End of Scene Three.
SCENE FOUR
1. Free Clinic
Winter, 2018.
Leo sits on an exam table. A Clinic Worker enters. He is harried, his mind on a million different things. He sorts through the files in his hands.
Clinic Worker Okay, you are … Jeff. No. Danny. No. Leo? Yes. Leo. So what’s up, Leo?
Leo I have this cough.
Clinic Worker Is that all you came in wearing?
Leo Um. Yeah?
Clinic Worker It’s February. No scarf, no coat?
Clinic Worker starts looking through Leo’s file.
We don’t have an address for you. Where are you living?
Leo Around.
Clinic Worker Got a working phone?
Leo Not right now.
Leo goes into a coughing fit.
Clinic Worker All right, have a seat.
Clinic Worker indicates Leo should take his sweater off. Leo does. Clinic Worker inspects Leo’s arms.
Leo I don’t shoot up.
Clinic Worker No, but you’ve got bed-bug bites. Okay, let’s have a listen. Deep breath. You smoke cigarettes?
Leo Sometimes.
Clinic Worker Pot? Breathe.
Leo Sometimes.
Clinic Worker Anything else?
The phone rings. Clinic Worker ignores it.
I can’t treat you if you don’t tell me everything. Crystal?
Leo Sometimes.
Clinic Worker How often?
Leo shrugs. Clinic worker takes stethoscope to Leo’s back.
Once more.
Leo takes a deep breath and falls into a fit of coughing. Clinic Worker starts writing out prescriptions.
You’ve got bronchitis. If you’d waited any longer it might have turned into pneumonia. I’m putting you on a Z-Pak, plus some steroids and an inhaler.
Then …
Okay. Let’s talk about your HIV treatment.
Leo You mean PREP?
Clinic Worker PREP? No. You’re HIV positive.
Leo No I’m not.
Clinic Worker That’s not what this says.
Leo I don’t –
Clinic Worker On your last visit … in November … your bloodwork came back positive for HIV antibodies.
This is news to you?
Leo That’s not possible.
Clinic Worker Why isn’t it possible? No one called you?
Leo I –
Clinic Worker (consulting the file) We left a ton of messages. You never called back or came in for a followup.
Leo is silent.
You didn’t know you were HIV positive?
Leo sits there in shocked silenced. The phone rings again. Clinic Worker answers it. As he talks, Leo sits there silently, freaking out.
What?
No, I can’t. I’ve got plans tonight. I’m not even supposed to be here today, I – Fine, but I’m definitely putting in for overtime.
He hangs up.
Fucking ridiculous.
He turns his attention back to Leo.
We need to take more blood, check your viral load. We’re going to have to do a whole battery of tests for other infections. Syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes. How many sexual partners have you had in the last six months?
No response from Leo.
Hey, uh … (Looks down at the file.) Leo. Sexual partners.
Leo I don’t know.
Clinic Worker Ballpark it.
Leo Fifty?
Do you have anyone you can call right now for support?
Leo shakes his head ‘no’. Phone rings again. Clinic Worker answers angrily.
Clinic Worker I’m coming!
Clinic Worker slams the phone down.
Are you sure there’s no one you can call?
2. The Streets
Leo Leo left the clinic and wandered the frozen streets. He attempted a mental list of all the men he’d had sex with in the last six months, either for money, for shelter, for drugs. Never for pleasure. And of all the men at the parties in the Pines. Which of the nameless strangers had it been? Leo thought of the chain of infection that had passed down along the years, decades and generations, his particular lineage moving from person to person, until it was eventually passed to him. A bitter inheritance. And yet, despite this chain of humanity, Leo never felt so alone in all his life.
Leo found himself walking along 42nd Street in the direction of the last place he remembered being happy, the last place he remembered feeling safe.
3. Toby’s Building
Doorman Yes? What do you want?
Leo Is Toby home? Toby Darling?
Doorman And you are …?
Leo I used to … do you remember me?
Doorman No.
> Leo Is Toby here?
Doorman I can’t tell you that.
Leo Will you buzz up to him for me?
Doorman Is he expecting you?
Leo No.
Doorman I’m afraid I can’t bother him.
Leo I need to see him.
Doorman You could always call him.
Leo Can I use your phone?
Doorman I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.
Leo Can I … can I at least leave him a message?
Doorman begrudgingly hands Leo a pen and a piece of paper.
Leo didn’t know what to write.
‘Help me, Toby, I’m in trouble’?
‘Find me, Toby, I’m lost’?
‘Comfort me, Toby, I’m afraid’?
Eric enters.
Doorman Yes, sir. Can I help you?
Eric I’m here to see Toby Darling. He’s in, um … (Checking his phone.) 67C.
Leo looks up.
Doorman This guy’s also looking for Toby Darling.
Eric and Leo lock eyes. Leo hands the paper to the Doorman.
Leo Thank you.
He starts to leave.
Eric Just wait a second. Hey, wait, please. I need to see Toby. He’s not answering my calls or texts. I haven’t heard from him since … since the wedding.
Leo That’s the last time I saw him, too.
Eric Do you know where he went?
Leo No. He just … disappeared.
Eric (to the Doorman) I need you to take me up to Toby’s apartment.
Doorman I can’t do that.
Eric I’m afraid that something might be wrong. I want to go up to his apartment and see. Can’t you let me do that?
Doorman I’d have to call the building manager.
Eric Or I could call 911 and the police can break down the door. Maybe that’ll be faster.
A moment, then …
Doorman I’ll take you up.
Eric Thank you.
Leo I want to come up, too.
Doorman No.
Leo He’s my boyfriend.
Doorman Then you should know where he is.
Eric takes out his wallet, removes some cash and hands it to the Doorman.
Eric Now can we please go upstairs?
Young Man 4 They rode up the elevator in silence.
Young Man 3 Eric stole glances at Leo, knowing that the two most important men in his life had both had sex with him.
Young Man 8 Fighting his anger at the young man.
Young Man 7 Fighting his resentment.
Young Man 6 Knowing it was childish of him.
Leo They stepped into the apartment, where Leo had once been so happy.
4. Toby’s Apartment
The Doorman unlocks the door and Eric and Leo walk inside.
Leo Nothing’s been touched since I was here last. Look –
Leo picks up Toby’s note.
He left this the night he disappeared.
Eric takes the note, reads it.
Leo moves to a stack of books in the corner, starts looking through them.
Doorman Don’t touch those.
Leo These are my books.
Doorman Those are Mr Darling’s books.
Eric (to Doorman) Okay, I think you can go now.
Doorman I can’t just leave you here.
Eric (slipping him more money) Yes, you can.
Doorman Lock the door behind you.
He exits. A beat, then:
Eric He said nothing to you about where he was going?
Leo All he left was that note.
Eric That day, at the wedding … I said some things to him that I will never forgive myself for.
I’m afraid that I may be responsible for this.
Leo has a coughing fit.
Listen, are you okay?
Leo I’m fine.
Eric Do you need any help or –
Leo I need Toby.
A moment, then Eric then grabs a duffle bag and raids Toby’s dresser, pulling out sweaters and thick woollen socks. He stuffs them into the duffle bag. Eric then grabs a winter coat and hands both it and the duffle bag to Leo.
Eric Take this.
Leo I can’t take / Toby’s clothes.
Eric Yes you can. He doesn’t need them.
Leo Please stop.
Eric takes out his wallet, pulls out some cash.
Eric Now I wish I hadn’t bribed that guy so much. Take it.
Leo doesn’t move.
Please don’t be prideful.
Leo All I have left is my pride.
Eric You also have friends.
Leo You’re not my friend.
Eric I know. But will you let me act like one?
Leo Will that make you feel better?
Eric Yes.
I know what it’s like to be in love with Toby Darling. And I know what it feels like to lose him. And I’m sorry that you did. I’m sorry for all of this.
Leo takes Eric’s money. Eric goes to the book Leo had been holding a moment before. He picks it up, looking at it.
Maurice. I used to love this book. If it’s yours, you should take it.
Eric offers Leo the book. Leo takes it.
5. Streets
Leo Leo left Toby’s building and headed out into the streets. He reflected on Eric’s kindness, which is not what he’d expected from a man whose wedding he’d ruined. He found himself standing in front of Toby’s theatre. Emblazoned across the doors were enormous photos of Adam. Leo stood there studying Adam’s face, so robust and healthy, his eyes bright with intelligence and hope. It was the face of a young man who had never known hunger, never known fear or neglect or abuse. Leo saw his own reflection in the glass and thought: I’m not the boy you want, Toby. I’m the boy you get. The money Eric had given him was all that he had until he could hustle up some – but no: his diagnosis, his … virulence. That would be irresponsible. But what of the man who had given it to me? What had been his responsibility to me? Leo’s stomach growled and he thought: fuck it. And he went out in search of another trick.
End of Scene Four.
SCENE FIVE
1. A Hotel Room in Alabama
Winter, 2018.
The dead of night. Toby stirs awake. The room is a mess: clothes strewn about and a dozen empty liquor bottles litter the floor and surfaces. Toby reaches for a cigarette, lights it, drags, then takes a swig of booze. He smokes for a moment. Then:
Toby The night Toby disappeared, he took the Acela to Richmond. The end of the line. It wasn’t until the train was halfway to DC that he realized where he was going, where his body had reflexively started travel before his mind caught wind of the scheme. He got off the train, took a taxi to the nearest Honda dealership and bought a new Civic off the lot and drove through the night to his home town in Alabama. (Home town. It wasn’t his home town. Manhattan was his home town.)
He knew where he was headed. Less so why. All he knew was that he had exhausted his options. He could move forward no longer.
He thought of the explorers who first encountered the Grand Canyon. Their first thought must have been ‘Oh wow.’ Their second: ‘Aw fuck. How do I get around that thing?’ Toby knows he’s in a similar place and there’s no getting around it. There’s only retreating back up the path, no matter how long you’ve been traveling it, until you reach the fork in the road where you made your first wrong decision, where you went left when you should have gone right. Toby has to retrace his steps.
And so here he is at 4:46 in the morning. In the finest hotel room in the state of Alabama.
He was seven when his father died. Toby had been the one who discovered the body slumped in his leather desk chair, his brains splattered across the window behind him, as if yearning for a view of the Hudson River. Toby stared at his father’s lifeless face, at his startled eyes staring back at him as if to say, ‘Son, if ever you were curious, I would not recommend this particular escape route.’ Toby heard doors slamming in his future that he barely
understood to be open to him. He knew at that moment that he would be forever on his own. He knew, even at the age of seven, that he was well and truly fucked.
His mother didn’t come out of her room for days. Her only words to him at the funeral were ‘Chin up’, which he mistakenly heard as ‘Cheer up’, for which he resented her for the rest of her life. Not that ‘Chin up’ was exactly the stuff of wise motherly direction but at least it had a ‘Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, we can survive this together’ intimation. But ‘Cheer up’, which is what Toby thought he heard, was unspeakably cruel. He knew in that moment he had lost the wrong parent.
Toby and his mother returned to her childhood home in Alabama, a state he had never heard of, let alone visited. They lived there with his grandmother, of whom the same could be said. His mother lost herself in alcohol the way a convert loses themselves in religion. Toby himself was introduced to religion for the first time – his grandmother taking him with her to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday night. She taught him how to pray, how to speak to God, and she promised him that he could live in truth, dignity and fulfillment if he had faith that he was protected.
But then Toby Darling, raised in privilege, educated at the finest private schools in Manhattan, was deposited in an Alabama public school, where he was anything but protected. Ostracized for his sensitivity, for his scandalous interest in learning. No one knew what to do with this sensitive, effeminate, sing-songy, twinkle-toed, wide-eyed, broken-hearted child. It wasn’t long before Toby’s new schoolmates smelled the blood in the water. He was eight when he was first called a faggot.
He did not even know its meaning the first time it was hurled against him. He only knew it was not a good thing to be called. He could tell by the way it was flung off the snarling lips of the boy who first uttered it. The hatred in his eyes directed solely at Toby, the only one of his kind at school. The only faggot.
The Inheritance Page 17