by Kaye Kennedy
Shoot. I'd forgotten to call home when I'd gotten there. "Thanks, Mr. H."
He grinned and went back inside.
We all dropped our weapons and walked over to the patio. Kyle handed me a juice, poked the straw into one for Ryan, and then grabbed one for himself before taking a seat beside me at the table.
While Jesse and Dylan were busy competing to see who could finish their juice first, Kyle turned to me. "So, how was Melissa's party?"
I shrugged. "I'm here, aren't I?"
He swiped a wet strand of his sandy blond hair off of his forehead. "What'd you girls do?"
"You didn't miss anything, if that's what you're asking. Trust me."
"No?"
I shook my head. "No. This is way more fun."
He laughed. "Well, duh. I'm a lot of fun to play with, Allie."
I laughed, too. "Guess so." I nibbled on my straw. "Would you believe that Melissa thought you and I were dating?"
He nearly spit out his juice. "What? That's stupid."
"I know. I told her we're just friends."
"Good."
"But I found out that Lila likes you."
His brows shot up. "Lila Waters?"
"Yup."
He hummed.
"She thinks you have nice eyes."
"That's because I do have nice eyes."
I elbowed him in the arm.
"Hey," he feigned offense.
"Don't be such a dork."
He smiled. "Wanna play Twister?"
I loved that game. "Sure." I followed him to the shed to get the mat.
Saturdays at the Hogan's were always a blast and I couldn't believe I'd thought going to Melissa's party would be more fun. Last time I'd make that mistake.
Kyle
5th Grade
Sitting at the family computer in the living room, I typed the final words on my current events homework and hit print. Just as I was going to log out, my Instant Messenger dinged.
alliecat3: You busy?
hockeyboy11: Just finished my homework. What's up?
alliecat3: Want to come over and hang out?
hockeyboy11: Let me ask
I went into the kitchen where my dad was working on fixing the garbage disposal. "Dad, I finished my homework. Can I go over to Allie's house?"
He didn't bother to pull his head out from under the sink. "Sure, son. Just be back for dinner."
We had a family rule that we always had dinner together on Sundays, even if Dad was at work, Mom still made the rest of us do it. "I know."
"Have fun."
I went back to the computer.
hockeyboy11: On my way.
alliecat3: K. I'll be in the back
The bike ride to Allie's took less than five minutes. I rode down her driveway and leaned my bike against the six-foot fence before opening the gate and letting myself into the yard. Allie was laying in the hammock that hung between two trees over a bed of recently bloomed flowers.
"Hey," I said as I walked over.
She sat up and turned sideways so I could sit with her. "Hi." She offered me a half smile over her book.
I collapsed beside her and pointed to her hands. "Shiloh, again?" I teased.
She shrugged. "I like it."
She put her bookmark into the book and closed it, then place it down beside her. "How was your weekend?"
"Homework today and I had a game yesterday." I'd gotten really good at hockey, so my parents had found a few leagues that way I could play almost year-round.
"Did you win?"
I nodded. "Of course."
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "Good."
It had been a tough year for her and I could tell that something was bothering her. "What's up, Allie?"
She sighed. "Tired."
Getting my best friend to open up was no easy task, but she'd asked me to come over which told me she wanted to talk, I'd just have to pull it out of her. "Are you not sleeping well?"
"Not really."
"Want to talk about it?"
She shrugged.
"Nightmares?"
She nodded.
"Same ones?"
Another nod.
"I'm sorry, Al, but your dad is an idiot."
She sighed. "Yeah." Her dad had left them that fall and they hadn't heard from him since. She'd been having nightmares where she's trying to get to him, but he stays just out of reach. Allie opened her eyes. "What is it about it that makes people crazy?"
I arched my brows. "That's probably a question better suited for Brandon." I had nothing to contribute to a conversation about sex.
She pointed up at her brother's window where we could clearly see him kissing his girlfriend.
"Oh," was all I could manage to say.
"Tyler says Dad left because he wanted to do it with some other lady. Now Brandon has a girlfriend and it's like I don't exist anymore."
"Brandon isn't like your dad. He's been dating that girl what like two weeks?"
She nodded.
"I'm sure that'll wear off soon and he'll go back to normal."
She tugged on her long, chocolate-colored hair. "You think so?"
"Yeah."
She sighed. "I don't get what's so great about it."
I shook my head. "Ask me this question when we're older."
She waited a second and then said, "Okay, we're older."
I laughed.
Allie crossed her arms over her chest. "Have you ever kissed a girl, Kyle?"
"You know I haven't."
"I don't know that. Maybe you did and never told me."
"You're my best friend. I tell you everything."
Looking down at her lap, she picked out the dirt beneath her fingernails as she said, "Maybe we should try it."
I couldn't be hearing her right because it sounded like she was saying she wanted to kiss me. "Try what?" I asked.
She wasn't looking at me, but she was biting her lip. "Kissing."
My stomach flipped. "Like you and me? Together?"
She nodded. "You said it yourself. We're best friends. It doesn't have to mean anything. Then maybe we'll understand why it makes people do crazy things."
I hummed.
"As long as you promise not be a crazy boy afterward."
A laugh escaped me. "I promise. But are you really sure you want to kiss me?"
She finally looked up. "The way I see it, you're better than a lot of the gross boys in our class."
I grinned. "Gee, thanks."
She tapped my arm with her fist. "You know what I mean. Why not try it since it won't mean anything and we'll still be friends after." She froze. "You will still be my friend, right?"
I chuckled. "I'll always be your friend."
"Good." She bit her lip again. "So, what do you think?"
I suddenly found myself sweating. "I, uh, guess we could try it."
She blinked a few times. "Now?"
My breathing grew shallow and I swallowed. "Okay."
I had no clue what I was doing. I knew a couple of guys who'd kissed girls before, but I'd never even gotten close enough to a girl to consider trying it. That's not to say that I didn't want to. I'd had a few crushes on some girls and I would've liked to have kissed them. But kissing Allie...
She was like my sister. Sure, she was pretty, and I knew a lot of boys in school liked her, but to me she was one of the guys. I'd never thought about her in any other way.
She spoke softly, "Maybe we should, um, close our eyes?"
"Right."
Slowly, she let her lids drop. I did the same. But then I realized I couldn't see her and that would definitely result in me missing when I leaned in, so I opened my eyes again. I took a deep breath. "Ready?" I whispered.
She nodded slightly.
I leaned closer until our noses were almost touching and then I shut my eyes as I closed the gap and let my lips touch hers. I simply held them there for a few seconds and then pulled back. We both opened our eyes.
"I don't think we did it right," she uttered.
Well, yeah, I knew that, but it was weird. I ran my hand over my mushroom haircut. "I guess not." I swallowed. "Should we try again?"
"Umm, maybe. If you want to." Her big, bronze eyes stared up at me, clearly asking me to take charge.
"Okay."
She closed her eyes and I leaned down, then closed mine, too, as my mouth touched hers again. This time I let my lips part a little and she did the same. I sort of sucked on hers for a few seconds and then we pulled away from each other and opened our eyes.
I couldn't read her blank expression. "Well?" I asked.
She let her fingers touch her lips for a second and then dropped her hand. "I'm not sure I'm any closer to understanding why people think that's so great."
I laughed. "Me neither."
She grinned. "My mom made brownies this morning. Want one?"
"Of course, I do." I'd yet to turn down Mrs. Dupree's baking. I got up from the hammock and offered Allie my hand, which she took, and I helped her to her feet.
"Do you want to watch Jumanji?" She knew it was one of my favorite movies.
"Definitely."
Neither of us brought up the kiss again.
Allie
6th Grade
Movie nights at the Hogan's were always a lot of fun. We'd fill the floor of the den with pillows and blankets and all five of us would cuddle up, eat popcorn, and watch movies. Mrs. H would put on some kiddie cartoon for Ryan, who being five-years-old, usually lasted ten minutes. Then she'd leave us be. Once Ryan was asleep, Kyle would pop in a better movie that the rest of us would actually enjoy, while still being age appropriate for Jesse. That night, we were watching Mr. Magoo, and once Jesse fell asleep, we planned on watching Men in Black. Halfway through the first movie, my stomach was feeling really crampy, so I got up to go to the bathroom.
When I pulled down my pants and saw the blood stain on my underwear, I gasped. I couldn't be getting my period. I was twelve, and sure a few girls at school had gotten theirs, but I wasn't ready. I didn't want to deal with that. My guy friends would treat me differently once they found out I had my period, and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. Cradling my face in my hands, I cried.
At some point, Kyle knocked on the door. "Allie? You okay? You've been in there a while."
I sniffled. "Go away."
"What's wrong? Are you crying?"
"Leave me alone, Kyle."
Then I heard Mrs. H's voice. "What's going on?"
Kyle replied, "Something's wrong with Allie."
"What do you mean?"
"I think she's crying and she won't come out of the bathroom."
"You go back to your brothers. I'll take care of this."
I heard Kyle stomp away and then there was a soft knock on the door. "Allie? Are you all right, dear?"
My lip quivered. "Not really."
"Can I come in?"
I reached over and unlocked the door.
It cracked open and Kyle's mom slipped inside. "What's wrong?"
My eyes filled up with tears again. "I—I think I'm bleeding."
She gave me a compassionate grin as she sat on the edge of the tub. "You got your period?"
I sniffled and nodded.
"First time?"
I nodded again.
"Congratulations."
My head snapped up and I looked at her like she had three heads. "What?"
"That's a big deal. You're becoming a woman, Allie."
I bit my lip.
"I know it's scary, but you're going to be just fine." She opened the cabinet beneath the sink and pulled out a pad, then handed it to me. "Here. Use this."
"I...umm..." I didn't quite know how to tell her that I'd made a bloody mess of my underwear.
"Do you want me to show you how to use it?"
"Umm, yes, but I can't because...umm..."
"Oh, dear. Did you bleed on your underwear?"
More tears clouded my vision as I nodded.
She stood and ran a hand tenderly over my hair. "Don't worry. We'll wash them. It'll be fine." She reached for the door knob. "I'll be right back."
After a few minutes she returned with a new package of boys' underwear. She ripped open the wrapping and handed me a pair that had Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on them. "These are Jesse's size, but I think they'll fit you." She turned away from me. "Go ahead and try them on."
I kicked off my pants, removed my dirty underwear, then stood and slipped on the pair she'd given me, which were a little snug, but mostly fine. "They fit," I said as I lowered them to my knees, then pulled my pants back over my ankles and sat down.
She turned again and picked my bloody underwear up off the floor and dropped them in the sink. Then she removed another pair out of the package and unwrapped the pad. She showed me how to stick it to the underwear, then handed it to me. "Go ahead and put it on while I rinse these out for you." She turned to the sink and began to wash the blood out.
I was mortified. Doing as she'd demonstrated, I put the pad in place, then pulled up my pants, closed the lid on the toilet and sat back down. It felt weird. Like I was sitting on a million cotton balls.
She rang out my underwear and said, "I'll throw these in the wash for you."
"Thanks, Mrs. H."
She gave me a reassuring smile. "You'll be okay, Allie. This is a good thing even though I know it probably doesn't feel that way."
"Definitely doesn't. Does it always hurt?"
"Sometimes. Are you in pain now?"
I nodded as my stomach tightened. "Yeah."
She opened the medicine cabinet and took out the Tylenol. After filling one of the small paper bathroom cups with water, she handed it to me along with two of the capsules. "This will help."
I swallowed the pills and drank all of the water.
"Would you like me to take you home?"
I shrugged. I had been looking forward to movie night. Plus, my mom had gone out for the evening and wasn't planning on picking me up until late. Brandon was at a party with his girlfriend, which meant I'd be home with my brother Tyler, a high school freshman, who had made it perfectly clear that he wanted to have friends over without his kid sister bothering him.
"You're welcome to stay, but I understand if you would rather go home."
The thought of being surrounded by my brother’s cute, older friends while I was feeling so icky was not high on my list of most desired evenings. "That's okay. I'll stay for the movie." I stood.
Mrs. H pulled me into her arms for a hug and I held on tight. There was something about a mom hug that always fixed things. She released me and said, "You'll want to change the pad every three to four hours. You know where they are now so help yourself, all right?"
"K. Thanks."
"Of course. Mr. H and I are in the living room. You come get me if you need anything."
I nodded. "I will."
She opened the door and I re-entered the den, avoiding Kyle's gaze as I settled back into my spot.
"You okay?" he whispered.
I nodded.
"Are you sick?" he asked, clearly not letting it go.
"No."
"But you were crying."
"Drop it, Kyle. Please."
He sighed and turned his attention back to the movie.
The last thing I needed was for my best friend, who I was pretty sure thought I was more boy than girl, to find out I was becoming a woman. I liked the way things were between us and while I knew it was inevitable that our relationship would change because eventually, we'd both be older and dating people and things would be different then, I wanted to hold onto what we had for as long as possible.
Ryan started to stir in his sleep so I scooted away from Kyle and cuddled up next to his little brother. Well, if I'm being honest, I felt like he was my little brother, too, since I'd known him from birth. Ryan and I shared a special bond. I let him lay his
head on my chest and I stroked his hair, easing him back into dreamland.
Kyle
7th Grade
Melissa Russo had an epic basement. I'd never been to her house before, but for her thirteenth birthday, her parents had allowed her to have a co-ed party. Since it was raining, the planned pool party had been turned into a basement party. The best part was that her older sister was the chaperon so there were no parents to bother us, which was great because Lila Waters was there and she and I had some unfinished business.
Lila was into figure skating, so I often saw her at the ice rink with her coach before I had hockey. For the past few weeks, she'd been hanging around to watch us practice and I'd always catch her staring at me. Two weeks before Melissa's party, I'd approached Lila at the rink. We got to talking about skating and then she'd kissed me right outside the locker room. A few of my teammates had seen, so of course we'd quickly become the subject of the Mamaroneck Middle School's gossip mill. Lila had been avoiding me ever since. Except I didn't want her to ignore me. It had been my first real kiss and I'd liked it. Really liked it. Kinda wanted to do more of it. So I was hoping she and I could talk at the party.
Shawn and I finished up the air hockey game we were playing and I noticed Lila was talking to a few of her friends nearby, so even though I'd won the game, I told Shawn he could play next. Yeah, I was nervous to talk to Lila, but I couldn't let anyone see that, so I mustered up the courage and sauntered over to her circle like it wasn't the hardest thing I'd done lately.
"Hey," I said to the girls and smiled, trying to play it cool.
Lila's hazel eyes widened.
Melissa, the unofficial gossip president of the seventh grade, said, "Hi, Kyle. Thanks for coming to my party."
I tucked my fingers into the pockets of my jeans to keep from fidgeting. "Yeah, thanks for inviting me."
She twirled a strand of blond hair around her finger and there was an unmistakable sparkle in her eyes that suggested she was up to something. When she opened her mouth, that became clear. "Lila was just asking about you."