by Kaye Kennedy
She'd given me a key so I let myself in without buzzing in case she was napping. When I opened the door, I didn't see her so I set the soup down in the kitchen and crept down the hall to her bedroom. It was empty. Seeing the bathroom door closed, I assumed she was in the tub. She enjoyed taking baths.
"Allie?" I asked at the door.
"What are you doing here?" she asked in a panic.
"I, um, I came to check on you. Is everything all right?"
"I want to be left alone," she sniffled.
I jiggled the door knob, but it was locked. "Allie, what's wrong?"
"I said, go away!"
"Not until you tell me why you're crying."
"Dammit, Kyle. Leave," she barked.
Not a chance in hell I'd leave when she's so upset. "Allie, open this door."
Silence.
I jiggled the knob. "You do realize I'm trained to get locked doors open in seconds, right?"
"You wouldn't dare."
"Try me." I pressed my ear to the door and heard her ruffling something. “Come on, love."
"Give me a minute," she snapped. When she opened the door, her eyes were swollen, red, and glossy, and her skin was pale. "Happy now?" she snarled.
I grabbed her arms and bent at the knees so I could look into her eyes. "What's wrong?"
She ran the sleeve of her sweater under her nose. "I don't want to talk about it."
"That's not how this works, Allie."
She shook my hands off and leapt back. "You said you wouldn't leave until I opened the door. Well, I opened it, so please go."
I stepped forward to try and hug her, but she screamed at me in a harsh tone that I'd never heard from her before. "Get out!" Then, she slammed the door in my face.
I pressed my palm against the door and sighed. "I brought you soup. It's in the kitchen."
Her cries were audible through the door and it broke my heart.
"Call me when you're ready and I'll be right over, okay?"
I waited.
"Allie?"
"Ah huh."
"Promise?"
"Ah huh."
I took a deep breath and said, "I love you," then I left and walked over to my brother's.
Both he and Autumn were home and the second I walked in both of their smiles dropped.
"What happened?" Dylan asked as he moved toward me.
I shrugged. "Something is wrong with Allie. She locked herself in the bathroom and she's crying."
"So, did you take the door?" he asked, seriously.
I shook my head. "I told her I would if she didn't open it. She let me look at her for a minute and then she promptly barricaded herself back in."
Autumn came from around the kitchen island where she'd been cooking. Her baby bump was starting to show and it made me smile, but just for a second.
"Maybe I should go check on her. Could be a woman thing." She began untying her apron.
"Would you?" I asked, desperate for any kind of answer.
"Absolutely." She tossed the apron on the counter and gave Dylan a kiss. "Be back in a bit."
"I'll walk with you," he said as she went to grab her coat from the closet.
"Nonsense. I'll be fine, Dyl. Stay with your brother."
Dylan wanted to argue, but she gave him a sharp look that put him in his place.
"Thanks, Autumn," I said as she went out the door.
Dylan went to the fridge and grabbed two beers, then brought one over to me in the living room. I took it as I sat on the couch.
"So what'd you do?" he asked.
"Nothing." I tossed up my hands. "I haven't seen her in two days. I just got off a twenty-four and was bringing her soup."
"Soup?"
"Yeah, she's been sick." I looked at the beer bottle and, deciding against it, I placed it on the coffee table.
"So what do you think happened?"
I shrugged. "I've got no fucking idea." But I had a bad feeling that I wasn't going to like the answer.
44
Allie
Once I was certain Kyle had left, I came out of the bathroom. His arrival had taken me completely by surprise. Even though he'd mentioned coming by when he got off work, I'd forgotten about it with everything that had transpired. I couldn't bring myself to see him, let alone talk to him, until I’d processed the situation myself. In the kitchen, I spotted the bag he'd brought over on the counter. The smell of the chicken and celery should've made my mouth water, but the mere thought of food turned my stomach instead. I hadn't eaten much the past few days because I hadn't had an appetite, so I knew I needed to force myself to eat for the baby's sake.
I took the warm container out of the brown paper bag and placed it on the counter then removed the lid. The drawer squeaked when I opened it to retrieve a spoon and my stomach lurched.
"You've got to eat, Allie," I said as I dunked the spoon into the broth and brought it to my lips.
The door buzzed and I padded over to the intercom. At least he buzzed in this time. "Yes?" I asked, annoyed.
"It's Autumn. Can I come up?"
Autumn? "Uh, sure." I wasn't going to leave a pregnant woman out in the January cold even though I assumed Kyle had something to do with her arriving unannounced.
I unlocked my door and went back to my soup. When I heard a soft knock, I said, "It's open."
"Allie?" her gentle voice called out.
"In the kitchen." I blew on my spoon.
She appeared in the doorway. Her coat was unzipped, showing off her baby bump. My stomach lurched. “Hi,” she said.
"Hey," I managed in response before putting the spoon in my mouth.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
I swallowed as the tears threatened to well.
"Oh, sweetie." She wrapped her arms around me and we both cried. When I pulled away, she said, "Let's sit and chat."
I followed her to the living room and sat beside her on the couch. Without prompting, I blurted out, "I'm pregnant."
A smile lit up her face and she hugged me again. "Congratulations! This is so exciting."
"No, it's not."
She stared at me. "I know you're scared, but this is wonderful news. You said you've always wanted to be a mom."
My lip quivered. "I can't..."
She grabbed my hand. "This is a miracle, Allie. It's not like the others."
I so badly wanted to believe that.
"You know how you told me to have faith?"
I gave her a lopsided grin and nodded.
She squeezed my hand. "Have a little faith."
I took a deep breath and covered my belly, already feeling so much love for the child growing there.
45
Kyle
Desperation was setting in. The more minutes that ticked by, the more I had to fight the urge to go back over there.
"Give Autumn some time, bro. She'll get through to her."
I fingered the ring box in my pocket. I'd brought it with me because I wouldn't be back at the firehouse again until after my birthday. "Do you think she found out I'm going to propose?"
"Uh, I don't know. How would she have?"
"I don't know, but what if she did and it freaked her out and she wants to run again?" My mind was getting away from me.
He took a pull of his beer. "Do you think she'd freak out?"
"No." I ran my hand over my hair. "Maybe. I don't know."
Dylan sighed. "If you're not sure, then maybe proposing isn't the right idea."
I bounced my knee. "I'm telling you, I'm gonna marry her, Dyl." I had to. The thought of going through any more of my life without her was unfathomable.
"I get that, but does it have to be right now? Look, I love Allie. I'm all for the two of you getting hitched, but if you think she could be that upset because you're going to propose, then maybe it's too soon, is all."
The lock clicked and I hopped to my feet as Autumn walked in.
"Well?" I asked.
As Dylan helped Autumn remove her coat, she said, "Sh
e'll be okay."
I let out a breath. "Yeah?"
When she walked over, I could tell she'd been crying. She gripped my forearm and said, "She needs you, Kyle. Go see her."
"But she told me to—"
"Go see her," she affirmed.
I gave Autumn a hug. "Thanks." Then I grabbed my jacket and sprinted down the street.
I didn't use my key this time, so when I hit the buzzer, I crossed my fingers that she'd answer.
"Hello?"
"Can I come up, love?" I asked, a little breathless.
The door buzzed and I raced up the steps, taking two at a time. I knocked on the door.
"It's open."
I twisted the knob and found her sitting on the couch hugging a pillow.
"Hi." I smiled and took a seat beside her, then wrapped my arm around her shoulders, tugging her to me.
We didn't say anything for a while. I simply held her and waited until she was ready. It took longer than I would've liked, albeit a second of not knowing why she was hurting had been too long, but eventually she sighed. Seeing the opening I said, "What's up, Allie?"
She turned her head to look at me and her lips parted but nothing came out, so I waited. Then she got up.
"Where are you going?"
"I'll be right back." She disappeared down the hall and returned shortly after with the bathroom trash can, which she put on top of the coffee table.
I cocked my head and, unable to think of another reason why she’d bring the can into the living room, asked, "Are you feeling nauseous?"
She remained standing and shook her head. "Look inside."
I picked up the can and found it filled with pregnancy tests. My eyes widened and I gazed up at Allie with my jaw slack. "Are you...?"
She nodded and her eyes filled with tears. I dropped the can and jumped up to pull her into my arms. I held her tight as she cried into my chest and I let the magnitude of what she was telling me sink in. She was pregnant. Holy shit. My heart swelled and the tears fell from my eyes. "I love you so much," I cried into her hair. "It's going to be okay."
She stepped back. "You don't know that. It's never been okay."
"That doesn't mean it won't be this time."
She bit her lip. "I can't go through that again, Kyle." She sniffled. "It'll kill me."
I put my arm around her and led her to sit on the couch beside me while I held her hand. I'd do anything to protect her from having to feel that pain again. "Have you called your doctor yet?"
"I went to urgent care. That's how I found out."
"And what did they say?"
"Nothing I didn't already know." She stared at her lap. "Every miscarriage I've had has increased the chances of me having another one. After three, the odds of it happening again is forty-three-percent."
I squeezed my eyes closed and swallowed. "That's a fifty-seven-percent chance of success."
She sighed. "Sure, if that's how you want to look at it."
"Think positive, love."
"I've done that before. It's not that simple."
"I know." I brought her hand up and kissed the back. "But this time you have me to help you through it." I grasped her chin. "Look at me."
The fear in her eyes was heartbreaking. "No matter what happens, we'll make it through this. Together."
She bit her lip.
"We need to call up that faith again, like we used to do when things got scary, remember?"
She nodded.
"Besides, this is different. This is our baby. Yours and mine." I mustered up a smile.
Allie placed her hands over her stomach. "I want this child more than anything."
I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "So do I, love."
Her lip quivered.
"I'll call the doctor tomorrow and get us the next available appointment. We won't leave that office until every question is answered. Whatever we need to do we'll do it. If the doctor says you need a six-week vacation in Bali, I'll have it booked before we leave the exam room."
That earned me a smile, but then she sighed. "You may not be too far off. What if I have to be on bed rest?"
"Then you'll stay in bed and I'll take care of you. When I'm working, my mom, Autumn, Lana, Zoe, Dylan, Jesse, Ryan—someone will take care of you."
"But my job—"
"You can take a sabbatical."
Her brows furrowed. "I can't afford to do that. My divorce depleted my savings."
I squeezed her hand. "Allie, I have more than enough to take care of us both. I make good money and I've lived a modest life, so I have a substantial savings and my house is paid off. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom, we can easily make that work."
She shook her head. "I won't leach off you."
"You wouldn't be. This is my baby, too. I want to take care of our family and I have the means to be able to do it." I put my hand out to touch her belly, but paused before making contact. "Can I?" I asked.
She nodded. "Of course."
When my palm touched her warm skin, I got goosebumps simply from the knowledge that our baby was growing beneath my hand. "Hey little one. Your Mommy and are excited to meet you, but you stay in there until you're good and ready. No rush. We can wait."
Allie sniffled and I kissed the tip of her nose. "Have a little faith," I whispered.
"I...I don't know if I can."
I kissed her forehead. "Tell you what: I'll have faith for you and you have faith for me."
She gave me a sad smile.
I allowed my lips to brush lightly against hers. "This is something to celebrate. We're going to be parents, Allie. You and me." It was a dream I'd long ago given up on because there was only one person in the world I'd wanted that with.
And now I had her.
Well, almost.
I grinned broadly as I slapped my thigh. "I had this whole plan, but screw it. This is already the best day of my life; what do you say we make it even better?"
She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
I got down on my knee and fished the ring box out of my pocket.
Her jaw unhinged and her eyes lit up. "Kyle, what are you doing?"
I grabbed her left hand. "Allie, my love for you spans decades. My heart has belonged to you since we were four. I love you with everything that I was, everything that I am, and everything that I will be. You are my past, my present, and my future. Be my wife. Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved."
Tears pricked her eyes again, but this time they were accompanied by a smile.
I opened the box and she gasped. The way her face lit up was even better than I’d imagined.
"Allie, my Allie...will you marry me?"
She nodded with vigor. "Of course I'll marry you."
I swear my heart smiled. My fingers shook as I removed the ring from the box and slid it onto her hand, then I cupped her cheeks and kissed her until we were both breathless.
She gazed down at the ring, a plain platinum band braided with a pave cut diamond band. In the center, were two brilliant cut stones stacked diagonally. "It's us," she uttered in awe.
I nodded. "The bands represent how our souls are intertwined and the center stones represent us—together, always."
"It's perfect."
"There's an inscription, too."
She slid it off her finger and read the engraving. "It's always been you." She blinked away tears.
I stared straight into those familiar bronze eyes and proclaimed, "And it always will be." I placed my hand on her belly. "You, me, and baby."
Epilogue – Declan
Damn, did I look good in a tux, I thought as I checked myself out in the mirror. My emerald eyes—the same as my sister’s—stared back at me. My cropped strawberry blonde hair and that scar in my eyebrow I’d had for years, normally fit my image, but with my tattoos hidden beneath the tux, I looked a lot less rough around the edges. It was an image I could get used to, as long as it wasn’t all the time. Too bad the thing was uncomfortable as he
ll. I was already tugging at my tie and I’d only had it on for five minutes.
We were in the room that had been set up for the guys in the wedding party to use before the ceremony and it reeked of some kind of puffy white flowers. My boy, and almost brother-in-law, Jesse Hogan would be marrying my sister, Lana, within the hour and I truthfully couldn’t be happier about it. Being at the wedding though, well…that presented a whole other challenge in the form of a classy-as-fuck blonde in a pink tweed suit.
Kyle put his hand on my shoulder. “You’re wearing the tie.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“You can take it off once the reception starts,” he conceded.
“Already planning on it.”
His phone buzzed and he answered it with urgency. “Hey, love. You all right?”
Kyle’s wife, Allie, was pregnant and she was high-risk, so Kyle the control-freak was insanely overprotective. They’d gotten married in an intimate ceremony in Ann Hogan’s backyard a few weeks back. She was due at the end of August and they’d wanted to get married before she got too far into her pregnancy just in case she had to go on bed rest or something.
“Okay, see you soon. Love you.” He hung up.
“All good?” I asked him.
He nodded. “She was letting me know she was in her seat.”
“Guess Allie could’ve been in the wedding party after all,” I commented.
Lana had asked her to be a bridesmaid after she and Kyle had gotten engaged, but with the baby, Allie had been concerned that if she had to go on bed rest, she’d miss the wedding, and she didn’t wanna have to bail.
He shrugged. “Probably for the best this way. Less stress. I’m just glad she and the baby are doing well enough for her to be here at all. It would’ve really upset her to miss this.”
Dylan came over and joined us. “You hear from Allie?” he asked Kyle.
“Yeah. You hear from Autumn?”
Dylan’s petite wife was very, very pregnant and he was a nervous, overprotective husband. “She said she’s holding up all right,” he replied, sounding doubtful.
Having had my fill of pregnant wife talk, I excused myself and went to have some whiskey with Jesse, Ryan, and Jesse’s friend, Chris, who was in town from Hawaii. I was the only single dude in the room. That had happened way too fast. When Lana and Jesse had started dating, Dylan was the only other one in a relationship. Normally I’d be hyped to have my pickings of the single women at a wedding, but I only had eyes for one particular woman who was buzzing around wearing a headset and clutching an iPad: Gwendolyn Roth.