Dirty Scoundrel

by Jessica Clare

  I start to offer to help out, when Clay takes my bag from my shoulder. “Sounds good. Me and Nat are gonna head down to the water.”

  Seth cracks open another pair of beers and offers one to Gage. “Is Wynonna’s friend hot?”

  “Come on,” Clay murmurs, gesturing at a distant building. “You can change in there.”

  Clay

  I figured that after a few days of bein’ away from Natalie, I’d calm the fuck down and my dick would stop standing at permanent attention. Turns out, not so much. My mouth goes dry when Nat comes out of the bathroom, a towel knotted at her hips. The swimsuit she’s wearin’ is screamingly red, with a deep, deep vee that shows off her fantastic cleavage. I want to bury my face there all over again, and it takes everything I have not to grab her and throw her down on the ground so I can ravish her in front of everyone. Should be against the law to look that fuckin’ sexy.

  It gets worse when she drops her towel, revealing the high cut up the hip that shows a ton of leg, and she starts smoothin’ lotion all over her skin. I want to do that. My hands itch with the need to touch her, but I know if I do right now, I’m gonna end up making it all erotic.

  She probably just wants to swim.

  I can’t help but watch her as she pulls her hair up, tying it in a knot atop her head. When she lifts her arms, her breasts arch high, and—

  Fuck, I am a man in pain. My dick’s hard as ice and I’m going to be scarin’ children more’n Lexi is if I don’t do somethin’ about it. I grab the rafts and head down to the water’s edge and jump in. It’s only about waist deep here, and lots of people are getting onto their rafts and preparing to go downstream. It’s crowded here by the little dock, but once you get into the water, you have more space to yourself. Which is good, because I don’t intend on anyone rafting with us. I wanna talk to my girl, alone.

  I need to explain myself.

  I raise a hand when my gorgeous Natalie appears at the water’s edge, scanning for me. She nods and says something to her friend Lexi, who’s standing in the bushes nearby, probably makin’ good on her promise to scare kids. Knox’s hanging out with her, clearly amused by her strangeness. Figures that those two would get along. Knox has a few screws loose himself.

  Nat eyes the water, then delicately gets in. “I’ve never rafted before,” she admits as she wades up to me. “How does this work?”

  “Just like you think it does,” I tell her, holding one raft toward her. “I’ll hold on to you so we don’t drift apart.”

  “All right,” she says, and her cheeks get red.

  Huh. Yeah, I guess that could be a double entendre. I kinda like the thought of holding on to her so we stick together. And then I wonder what part of her she’s thinkin’ of me holdin’ and my dick gets all hard as a rock again.

  I help her into her float, and then slide into mine. There’s a rope that runs along the edge of each raft, and I grab hers with my hand, hauling her raft against mine.

  “What now?” she asks, glancing over at the shore.

  “Now we drift,” I tell her. “And we talk.”

  “Oh.” She doesn’t sound thrilled. The ultra-polite look returns to her face and she seems determined to gaze everywhere but at me. Jesus, she acts like talkin’ to me sounds like the worst idea ever. Am I that bad?

  Maybe I am. That’s fuckin’ depressing.

  Still, I ain’t gonna give up. Natalie’s here with me right now, and that’s a start. Like Knox said, I got her here, now I need to romance her right. I wait as we drift away from the shore and the clusters of other tubers. When it’s just her and me on the water, I tug on the rope and spin her raft until she’s facing me. “You gonna ignore me? Do I need to tickle your foot?”

  A small smile curves her mouth. “Is that a threat? I can tickle yours. I seem to remember you being far more ticklish than me.”

  I wag one foot at her, the one that’s missin’ two toes. “There’s less of it than you remember.”

  Natalie gasps and sits up in her raft, rockin’ both of us. “Oh my god! Clay! What happened?”

  “Just a riggin’ accident back when I was younger.” I shrug. “Piece of machinery slipped and my foot was under it. Lost part of my boot and part of my foot, but it coulda been worse. I know guys that have died on the rig.” I grow quiet, thinking of Eddie. “It’s a good job, but it’s a hard job.” It ain’t safe, either.

  “Do you still do it? Rigging?”

  She has a worried look on her face that makes me feel good. She concerned about me? That’s a nice feelin’. “Me? Naw. Not since we hit the big money. Now we just sit in meetin’s and tell other people what to do.” I grin. “And we work on our side projects, like me with my camo.”

  Natalie looks thoughtful. “It’s strange to think about how much has changed since we knew each other before, isn’t it?”

  Some stuff has changed, she’s right about that. But more ’n’ more, I think that a lot has stayed the same.

  Like how I feel about her. And I need to tell her. I ain’t letting Natalie Weston slip between my fingers again. “Didn’t bring you out here to show off my ugly toes,” I tell her.

  “They’re not ugly,” she says staunchly. “They tell a story.”

  “An ugly story,” I tease back, but she looks unhappy at the thought. It’s like she really cares about me, and that makes my chest get all funny and squeezed up at the thought. “Anyhow. I brought you out here because I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?” She looks over at me.

  I nod. “For makin’ you cry.”

  Her brows go down and she looks annoyed. “But you’re not sorry you abandoned me immediately after we had sex and then disappeared for three days without a word?”

  “Well, no, I guess I’m sorry about that, too.” Shit, I’m fuckin’ this all up. “I kinda thought you didn’t wanna see me for a while, Nat.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Because the moment I got up from the bed you started cryin’? Not exactly what a guy pictures when he finally sleeps with the girl of his dreams.”

  Her expression grows soft and she finally meets my gaze. “And am I the girl of your dreams?”

  “Always have been,” I tell her, my voice husky with emotion. “That ain’t never changed.” I slide my hand to her ankle, holding on to her instead of the rope edging her raft. Her skin is soft and warm, and I rub my thumb against it. “Haven’t you guessed that by now?”

  She shakes her head. “Sometimes it’s so hard to tell. One minute I think you’re the old Clay, and the next, you act like you hate me. I don’t know what to think.”

  “I’ve been tryin’ to be someone else. Thought I’d pay you to be my girl and get you out of my head. Get what I wanted and move on. Except the more I’m around you, the less I want to move on. I just kind of want to stay right here. With you.”

  She licks her lips. Her foot wiggles ever so slightly, and then she nudges my arm with her toe. “So that’s what the big deal was? That you were going to pay me to have sex with you and get me out of your head?” At my nod, she sighs. “You know there are probably plenty of women out there that’d have sex with you for free, right? No strings attached? Just be in a relationship with them?”

  “Didn’t want anyone else. I wanted you.”

  “Because I wouldn’t have sex with you back when we were teenagers?”

  “Maybe partly. Mostly because it was you.” I continue rubbing my thumb up and down on her smooth skin. “You’ve kinda always been the perfect woman in my eyes. You’re sexy, pretty, sweet, kind, classy, and you’ve got a good sense of humor. I expected to come back and find you with a husband and three or four kids.”

  “Me?” She shakes her head. “No. It never seemed right. Plus, I was too busy taking care of my dad. He had a stroke the night you broke up with me.”

  “I broke up with you?” I snort. “More like you decided I wasn’t good enough for you.”

  Natalie looks confused, and she
shifts in her raft, pulling her leg out of my grip. I grab the rope on her raft before she can drift away. It turns us to where we’re facin’ each other once more, her feet near my hand and my feet near her hand.

  “What are you talking about?” she asks. “You told my dad you didn’t want me to go away to college.”

  “I never said that. Ever. I said I wanted us to get married. That I loved you and I wanted to make it work. Your dad showed up that night we were all supposed to have dinner and told me that you were runnin’ off to Stanford and you didn’t have the guts to tell me on your own, so he was gonna break up with me for you.”

  She gasps. “You’re serious?”

  “Why would I fuckin’ lie?” I growl. “It’s been burned into my brain for the last seven years. I didn’t think it was true, so I went to your house that night and then you mocked me and said you wouldn’t marry something like me. I thought you were someone else until that night. Then I realized I didn’t know you at all.” Hell, I’m gettin’ angry just thinking back on it, and the hurt and betrayal it brought. “Doesn’t matter that it was seven years ago,” I tell her. “I ain’t never forgot about it, and I ain’t never forgot about you.”

  She’s gone pale, her eyes glossy in that way that tells me she’s fightin’ back tears. Aw, hell. I didn’t wanna make her cry. “You dumbass,” she says after a long moment. “You really think I would send my dad over to you to break up with you? Without talking to you first?”

  “It didn’t sound like you,” I say defensively. “But how was I supposed to know? I went to your house to talk with you about it and you were ugly to me—”

  “That’s because my dad went to me and said he went to talk to you about me possibly going to college and you said you didn’t want me to! That you wanted me to stay in your trailer and be your little wife.”

  “What?” I give her a crazy look. “That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. If you wanted to go to college, I’d have worked two jobs so you could pay for your tuition and not have to worry about workin’. I wanted what you wanted, Nat.”

  “Well, I wanted to be with you.” She buries her face in her hands. “God, we are such idiots. We let my dad play us. I hate that he’s an actor. He’s far too good at lying.”

  “So you didn’t say that shit?”

  “None of it,” she says with a horrified little shake of her head. “I got home and he gave me an acceptance letter to Stanford. I never even applied! I should have known that he was up to something, but he just launched into how you wanted to hold me back from my dreams, and I never even questioned where it came from. I just got hurt and lashed out.” She groans. “God, we were so stupid. Dad totally played us both.”

  I don’t know how to feel about this. Part of me’s frustrated—seven years have been lost to a stupid argument that could have been prevented if we’d both not been so very hotheaded. Part of me is relieved—Nat never thought I was trash.

  We stare at each other for a long moment.

  “Seven years,” I say slowly. “Wasted.”

  She inhales a deep breath and closes her eyes, then shakes her head. “I don’t know if it was wasted. It sucks and I could shake my father for putting us through that—”

  “I could do a lot more than just shake him,” I tell her drily. Like put my fist through his face.

  “—But,” she continues. “I can’t even say that if you’d have asked me to go with you that I’d have been able to go. My dad had a stroke that night. His sixth wife, Johanna, left him right after that and there was no one but me to take care of him. His money was gone, and it was like everything crashed overnight. I don’t think I could have left his side, even if we were good.”

  I don’t like hearing that. “So you still would have chosen him over me.”

  “There’s no choosing,” she says, exasperated. “I’m all he’s got. I wouldn’t abandon him when he was sick and hurting, just like I wouldn’t have abandoned you if you were in the same situation. And now he’s . . .” She looks away and wipes at her eyes. “He doesn’t remember where he is most days. His mind is going. He’s eighty-seven and in bad health, and I feel guilty for being away from him even now, even though it’s necessary . . .” Her voice trails off and she gives a little shake of her head.

  And I feel a little guilty, too. Because I’m the one forcing her to hang out with me when her dad’s ailing. Doesn’t matter that I hate the bastard and that he’s always treated Nat like another one of his servants. She loves him. She’s always wanted his approval, even when he didn’t want to give it. But it galls me that she’d consider taking care of him over bein’ with me. That it’s even a choice.

  For me, there’s no choice. Nat’s the one I’d pick over anyone and everyone. But I don’t want to make her miserable. “You want to go home?”

  “No,” she says, and there’s a tremulous little laugh in her throat. She wipes at her eyes again. “I really don’t. But I feel guilty because I like being with you. At least, I do when you’re nice to me. Sometimes you’re not and then I want to punch you in the face.”

  I chuckle, relaxing a bit. I reach for her ankle again, desperate to touch her. When I do, she rubs her foot against my arm and my dick gets hard at that small caress. “I have to admit I have been an asshole upon occasion—”

  “Upon occasion?!”

  “—But I was doin’ it because I didn’t want you breakin’ my heart again.”

  She goes quiet, her smile fading a little. “And now?” she asks.

  “Now I think it’s too late for that, because I never stopped caring about you. Ever.”

  Nat bites her lip and reaches for the rope on my raft, twining her fingers against it. Her gaze moves to my foot, the one with the two missin’ toes. “I don’t know, Clay. You really, really hurt me when you left the other day. And when you threw in my face that you bought me. It doesn’t mesh with the Clay I thought I knew back then. The Clay I fell in love with.”

  “It’s the same person.”

  “I think that, and then sometimes, I think too much time has passed.” She reaches over and touches one of my remaining toes, as if to remind me that we’re not the same as we used to be. “Maybe too much has changed in the last seven years. I mean, look at me.” She gestures at her body. “There’s a lot different.”

  “Or maybe nothin’s changed and you need to let me prove it to you,” I tell her fervently. “Just give me a chance.”

  “I have to, don’t I? You’ve contracted me to your side.” Nat arches a dark eyebrow at me.

  “I ain’t sorry about that,” I tell her. “It got me you back in my life, and if you want me to pretend like I’m a nice guy and let you go back home, it’s not happening. I want you here by my side. I want you in my bed. I want you in my life, Nat. And if I have to be a rich-guy asshole to drag you away from your father’s house, then that’s what I’m gonna do.”

  A tiny smile curves her mouth. “Was all of this just to get me?”

  “Everything’s for you,” I tell her soberly. “Haven’t you guessed that by now?”

  Her eyes shimmer with tears again. “I’m scared, Clay. What if we’re not the same people? What if too much is different?”

  “Then we learn about the new stuff together,” I tell her staunchly. I don’t care if she’s different. I wanted Natalie then, and I want her now.

  In my eyes, nothing’s changed. Nothing ever will. She’s mine and always will be.

  Chapter Twelve

  Natalie

  Today might be the most fun I’ve had in . . . forever.

  I know that Clay’s manipulated me into being at his side today. I know I should be angry over that, just like I should be angry over the fact that he abandoned me for three days, minutes after we had sex. That should be unforgivable.

  Just like I should be furious that my dad lied to both me and Clay, forcing us apart seven years ago.

  Strangely, though, I’m not mad anymore. I’m not mad at any of it. I just want to mov
e on and be happy. My dad’s a shell of who he used to be. And Clay? Clay’s apologized and wants to try again. He wants to show me that he can be the person he promises to be.

  So I’m going to stop living in the past and harping over past hurts. I’m going to accept things as they are, and look forward to the future.

  It’s strangely freeing.

  For the first time, it feels like I have a future again. Not only is Clay paying off our debts and giving me room to breathe, but I might actually have a future with someone. Strange how I never realized how lonely I was until just now. I’ve always been a bit of a lonely person, and I don’t make a lot of friends. I’ve been fine with that—but being around Clay makes me want something more.

  I enjoy the day. Gosh, do I enjoy the day. After I have the big “talk” with Clay, it feels like all the tension between us has evaporated. I’m able to relax and have fun tubing. Clay and I go down the river for about an hour, then get out at the designated spot and take a shuttle back to the picnic area. There, Ivy and Boone are busy serving up hamburgers and hot dogs. More beer is passed around, along with bottles of water. Ivy’s too pregnant to go tubing, so there’s a constant crew at the picnic spot, and people swap out to go tubing in pairs or groups. Clay’s brothers are funny and rowdy, always clowning around and teasing each other. They give him shit for shaving his face, and then when Knox steals someone’s towel, the brothers pile onto him in their teasing. It seems that Knox likes to steal things just to see if people notice. Ivy chats with me for a while, telling me about how she and Boone met, and about the baby she’s carrying, and she’s incredibly sweet and friendly. I like her a lot. Actually, I like everyone that I meet today.

  Lexi spends most of the day harassing Clay’s brothers, who harass her back as if she’s the weird friend they never had. She even shows Ivy how to do a few yoga pregnancy poses, and Seth and Knox also attempt to do the poses, much to everyone’s amusement.

  I pick at the food back and forth, drink a few beers, and Clay drags me off to go tubing regularly, I think so we can get away from the others. He holds my hand or keeps a possessive arm around my waist at all times, and it really does feel like I’m his girlfriend and not just his “paid assistant.”