by Selena Scott
“Give him a second,” Ansel muttered, one hand on Ruby’s shoulder.
When he came back, it was with pain lining his face. But it was Alec that stepped up to him.
“I’m Hertian,” he told Griff.
“I know who you are, John Alec the Warrior. I was there when you freed that caravan last spring.”
Alec nodded. “Then heed my warning. You cannot get your girl back unless you’re at top strength. Your two best weapons are exhausted.” He looked back at Milla. “They’ll succumb to Herta if they have to stay here much longer. I have no idea how you possibly lasted as long as you did, but go back to earth. Get strong. Learn your shifting. Come back.”
Griff nodded and mutiny slowly slid off his features. “Fine.”
Alec took no more chances at argument before he started off through the woods. There would be no stopping for food or drink tonight. No resting. They would only hike, exhausted as they all were, until they were back through to earth.
It was the longest night of Milla’s life. They bushwhacked through the forest. Milla thanked God there were no mountains. She could hear the ocean about a mile to their left as they went south.
But the physical exertion wasn’t what made the night long. It was Alec’s back. Though Ruby and Griff kept up a low string of chatter for almost the entire walk, Alec and Milla didn’t exchange a word.
She couldn’t wait to get to the gate. She needed so badly to breathe the free earth air. She needed to shift and feel the freedom in it. She thought she’d probably stay in bear form for a week, just because she could. But she also dreaded getting to the gate. Because she had no idea what it meant for Alec.
She didn’t let herself dream of a world where he traveled through with them. He was Hertian, not of earth. He had family here. A mission. A job. She saw how important that life was to him. There was no stopping it. It was pointless to dream of it.
And more than anything, it was pointless to think of staying on Herta. Milla’s body was in extreme physical pain. She couldn’t stomach the thought of staying here another second, much less living here. No matter the draw to him that she undeniably felt, there wasn’t going to be a continuation past the gate. No such thing as long distance between worlds. It had been amazing while it had happened and she was grateful for it. That’s the best it was going to get.
So nine hours of hiking later, when Alec finally slowed, pointing at something that Ruby nodded at but none of the shifters could see, Milla felt like she was going to throw up. But, being who she was, she held her head up high as the group of travelers faced one another.
Alec and Griff shook hands. Ruby threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. She whispered something to him that had Alec nodding his head, patting her gently on the back. When she pulled back, Ruby had tears pouring down her face. Griff took her by the hand and they stood next to the gate.
Ansel surprised both Alec and Milla by pulling him in for a hug. There weren’t words between them, but there was a solid round of back slapping. When they pulled back from one another, there was a brief nod.
And then Alec stood before Milla and it was time to say goodbye.
“Goodbye, little queen,” Alec said, a sad smile on his face.
His words sliced into Milla with more force than the Emperor’s machete. That was all he was going to say? Just the word ‘goodbye’?! How horribly inadequate. And that dumb sad smile on his plain face? He was only sad enough to see her go to give a tiny sad smile? Rage rose in Milla. She was sad enough she could puke and here he was looking slightly bummed.
Great. That was just great.
Feeling like her heart was getting ripped out, Milla arranged her features in a carefully neutral way and looked over his shoulder. She glanced at the group waiting for her outside of the gate she couldn’t see or sense. They spoke amongst themselves, giving Milla privacy.
“Goodbye,” she responded, her voice sounding blank even to her own ears. She was just stepping around him when his hand came up to her chin.
He stilled her and took a step forward. His lips were brief on hers, but hot and forceful and filled with something that threatened to tear her in two. When he pulled back something flicked across his eyes, something that gave Milla hope. But it was gone a second later. His face changed into a teasing expression. “I’ll miss making love to a woman with a boy’s haircut,” he smiled down at her, his rough hand hot over the soft skin of her jaw.
She refused to smile. “I’m sure you can find a suitable replacement somewhere on Herta.”
His expression immediately muddied in confusion. “No, I can’t.”
Milla pulled back. “You’ll be fine, John. And so will I.”
His eyelids dropped. She could see that she was confusing him. And mildly pissing him off. There. That was good. Better even. It would make all of it easier.
“Of course,” he said carefully.
She took another step away from him and toward the group.
“Ready,” Milla said to Ansel, who looked distinctly like he didn’t believe her.
Alec stood behind them as the group took deep breaths.
“All we have to do is step through?” Ruby asked him, her eyes still hot with tears over leaving him behind.
Alec nodded, but his eyes were still on Milla.
“Alright, then,” Ansel muttered, one arm around Ruby, who held Griff’s hand, and one arm around his sister. Ansel had had the horrifying realization during her goodbye with Alec that his sister might want to stay behind in this hellish world. He tightened his grip around her shoulders, thankful to all hell that she was standing next to him.
“So long, John Alec the Warrior,” Ansel called over his shoulder and Alec nodded to him.
They stepped forward and though it looked like just the regular forest floor to her, Milla felt something strange happen to her foot. She felt a weird, sucking gravity and her foot disappeared right in front of her eyes. She could feel the force of the gate now and she knew there was no going back. She was stepping through to earth.
And she couldn’t help herself. She turned her head back over her shoulder and looked at Alec right in those unbelievably brown eyes of his. His arms were crossed over his chest and he looked at her with exactly the same intensity.
“Goodbye, John,” she said. And then she was through the gate. And gone.
CHAPTER NINE
Six Months Later
Milla Keto jogged up the stairs to the fourth floor, toward her apartment, no small feat in the five-inch Louboutins and skintight pencil skirt she was currently wearing. She’d avoided the elevator because there was a crowd out front and she was currently arguing on the phone with her brother.
“Kain, it was really nothing. I swear. Just a couple of bad dreams.”
“Inka made it seem like you really thought there was a gate opening in your bedroom.”
Milla winced. “Yeah, well, Inka has a big mouth.”
“Mills.”
Milla winced again, but this time for a different reason. Kain and Inka had been a real handful since Ansel and Milla had returned from Herta. They were gone a little over two weeks and apparently their siblings had pretty much lost all hope in that time. When they’d returned from Herta, dirty, exhausted, and in Milla’s case, pretty fucking heartbroken, there had been the reunion to end all reunions.
Kain had cried as he’d clutched Milla to his chest. And Kain never fricking cried. It had been as traumatic for the siblings who’d waited behind as for the siblings who’d gone through the entire ordeal. And Milla knew that she had to make some concessions in her life to accommodate that. Compassion, after all.
Those concessions were unexpected visits from Inka at any time of the day or night and constant phone calls from Kain. She supposed Ansel had it worse, considering he lived in Green Mills with them and couldn’t escape their mama-bearing. But it was still pretty intense, all the way from Manhattan.
For herself, Milla had made getting over what ha
ppened in Herta her new full-time job. She’d started by throwing herself into her actual full-time job. The company was smooth and well-oiled enough that it hadn’t completely sunk after two weeks of complete radio silence from their CEO. But it had taken a few months for Milla to get things back into the shape that she liked for them to be. She’d given no explanations to her employees about her absence. Many of them still looked at her like she might just up and disappear without explanation again, leaving their company to wallow and die.
It had meant many a fifteen-hour workday over the last six months and Milla, for one, was grateful for that.
She’d taken every distraction possible to keep from thinking of Alec. She sniffed as Kain jabbered away on the phone and she made her way up another flight of stairs. She was strong enough to admit that it had been hard. To get over him. He was a hell of a guy.
And she had loved him.
She wasn’t petty enough to pretend that wasn’t true. He was an impressive, principled guy and she’d caught feelings in Herta. He just apparently hadn’t caught them back. And there was nothing to do about that besides move on. And moving on was something that Milla Keto was particularly good at.
She wasn’t fragile enough to have been heartbroken that he hadn’t loved her. It had injured her pride that he hadn’t once mentioned a way to see her again. Not that she would even have said yes, necessarily. Everything she’d already concluded about their relationship still stood. He lived in a world that would kill her to live in. There had been no options. And no future. All there was was a brief little spot of hot sex that was already in the past. And that was just going to have to be enough.
For a brief month after they’d returned, she’d been worried that it was something more critical than her pride that he’d injured. But no, she assured herself now that she was back in full CEO mode, that it had just been her pride. She wasn’t used to wanting something and not getting it. Especially where men were concerned.
That was another thing that was a helpful distraction. Other men. She’d been on many, many dates over the last few months, including the one she’d just left, and they’d been lovely distractions with lovely men. She hadn’t actually slept with any of them, or even kissed any of them. But she tried not to dwell on that. It had been a stressful few months and she was allowed to move at whatever pace she wanted.
It had nothing at all to do with how she did or didn’t feel about John Alec. She was not a particularly romantic woman. She was a realist. And she was incredibly intelligent. Milla knew she was capable of getting over one man and having relationships with others in the process. She was not sentimental. And she knew for damn sure that she didn’t owe John Alec fidelity of any kind.
Goodbye.
His voice echoed in her head. That simple and final word. That word that carried absolutely no hope within it. The man had done her a favor. He’d made it simple to move on. A no-brainer. She just was still getting reoriented after having spent so much time on Herta. It was a confusing place. Especially for a shifter. And that’s why she was moving slowly with the men she was dating. Not because she was remaining loyal to John Alec. Or pining for him.
Well, she considered, the man had put his life on the line for her and her people. Of course she was going to feel overly grateful to him. And that’s just what it had been. Gratefulness. Combine that with the, whatever, love she’d been feeling for him and of course she wouldn’t be ready to jump into bed with the first white smile that came along. Perfectly reasonable. And like she said. She wasn’t pining.
“I’m just saying, Milla, it would make all of us rest a hell of a lot easier if we could just confirm that there wasn’t a gate to Herta in your bedroom.”
Milla’s stomach tightened in annoyance. She wished she hadn’t mentioned those pesky nightmares to anyone. But the last one had felt so real that she’d called her twin sister out of sheer panic.
She’d been doing so well, completely putting Herta and everything that came with it in the past. But then about a week ago, she’d started waking up in the night. Usually she slept soundly through her dreams of John Alec, which she had to admit were often. But in the last week, she’d sit up in her room and feel that pull toward Herta. See a golden glow coming from somewhere. And she’d shake herself fully awake, looking for the gate that was luring her back to the mirror world. But by the time she’d come fully awake, it would be gone and she’d be left aching and in an utterly foul mood.
“Kain,” Milla responded tightly as she jammed her key into her apartment door, “I understand that you’re worried for me. But think about what you’re saying. There is absolutely no way to know exactly what it was that I saw. In fact, we’d need some kind of Herta expert to tell us even a theory. And of course, those don’t exist. So what’s the point of worrying? I’ll stay vigilant. And if it happens again, maybe I’ll let you come camp out in my apartment for a few days, ease your mind.”
He stayed silent as she tossed her bag on the side table next to her front door and locked the door behind her. She surveyed her classy apartment. All cool, neutral colors and floor-to-ceiling windows. A vase of peonies sat on her white countertop and gave the room a splash of color. Pictures of her family lined the walls, giving much needed warmth to the space. And Milla sighed with relief. Home. Thank God. It had been a day from hell at work, capped off with a date that had felt never-ending.
“Look, Kain, I just got home, so I’m gonna go, but I promise–”
“Don’t be mad.” Her younger brother’s voice had her stopping in her tracks.
“Excuse me?”
“He showed up out of nowhere and it was Ansel’s idea to send him. I knew it would piss you off to surprise you, but Ansel said you wouldn’t let him come otherwise.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Electricity zipped up her spine as a scent filtered into the living room from her bedroom. A very familiar scent. Out of place in the middle of Manhattan.
“Don’t be mad,” Kain said again before she hung up the phone and strode toward her bedroom, following the scent of the forest the whole way.
***
There was a warrior from a different world in her bedroom on 68th street and Milla wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
And she wasn’t sure how he felt about it either. The second she’d pushed in through her bedroom door, he’d risen from his crouch at the side of her bed. He’d been looking at something on the floor. But now he was looking at her. His eyes swept from head to toe incredibly fast. Like he was drinking her in. His gaze lingered on her feet.
“Those are really the shoes you wear outside in that hellhole of a city?” he demanded.
Milla ordered her heart to stop leaping in her chest. This was ridiculous. The man was standing in her bedroom. Uninvited. She should be mad, not quivering on the inside like a schoolgirl.
“What the hell are you doing here, John?”
Her words snapped him out of his inspection of her utterly ridiculous shoes. Why in God’s name would any self-respecting warrior be caught dead in such impractical footwear? Well, he had to admit that there was something about them that had his blood running south, but he couldn’t begin to imagine how uncomfortable they must be. And then there were the rest of her clothes. Her tight skirt that looked more like undergarments than clothes. And a shirt that looked so soft and shiny purple it almost looked like a liquid against her skin. Jeez. He’d really hit the nail on the head when he’d decided to call her little queen. The woman was decked out like royalty.
“Can you even sit in that garment?” he demanded, gesturing toward the skintight circle of fabric that hugged her thighs and curvy ass and practically taunted him from across the room.
Raising one eyebrow in that Milla way, she lowered herself to the corner of the bed, intentionally showing him exactly how well she could sit and exactly how good she looked while doing it.
“What the hell are you doing here, John.” This time it wasn’t a question and he didn’t
miss the lack of invitation in her voice. Well. He supposed that she had made herself pretty clear with that positively frigid goodbye in Herta. She hadn’t wanted him to follow her to earth then, and she was irritated to see him on earth now.
She was just gonna have to get used to it. He’d come to earth. And if her prickly ass didn’t like it she could just… Well, he didn’t have an answer to that. He’d prefer if her prickly ass did like it.
“Ansel sent me.” The shortest possible version of a long answer. “Because of your dreams of the gates. He sent me to see if the gates were real. If you were in danger.”
“How the hell did Ansel get ahold of you?”
Again, Alec tiptoed around the answer. He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged nonchalantly. “I found him.”
“On earth?”
Alec meandered around her room, picking up a picture frame here or there, nudging a tube of some kind of woman paint across her dresser. “Yeah.”
He’d never know how out of place he looked there. As if a six-foot, two-hundred-pound, muscled, wiry swath of the forest had just been up and transplanted into Manhattan. His clothes were the same as they’d been on Herta, brown and green, hemp and canvas. Torn in places, deeply worn. Smelling of the earth and leaves and night after night outdoors. Milla felt as if, instead of looking at a man himself, she was looking at a man-shaped window into Herta. Her eyes followed his hands in something like disbelief as he sniffed at a little pot of eye shadow that sat on her dresser. Such a simple action, but for Milla, it was worlds colliding.
“And what were you doing on earth?” Her question was asked very carefully, and in fact, it seemed to almost pain her to ask it.
He turned and told approximately one eighth of the truth. “I came to see Griff.”
It was almost like a light turned off in Milla’s face. Whatever pain she’d been dancing around either settled in or left her completely. Alec couldn’t tell. Not with the tight way she was holding herself. The woman didn’t give anything away. And, he supposed, as he stood there, neither did he.