by Maren Cooper
“Yes, he was a bit surprised by my situation but never skipped a beat in making me look good. Even the footwear!” Claire had switched out her Kate Spade four-inch heels for sensible but still stylish shoes with straps for the duration of her pregnancy.
They walked two storefronts over to a local bistro. The hostess led them to a table, rather than a booth, after taking a full-length look at Claire.
“Thanks for your help with the furniture shopping. I’m feeling better now that all that is set. I can’t believe it’s so close now.”
“And you’re doing beautifully. At this stage, your excitement starts to overcome your increasing discomfort.”
Once their food was served, Claire tackled a new topic between bites.
“Jess, I know these past months have been hard for you. But I feel like this weekend was a milestone in getting some emotional distance from Arthur. And, of course, you’ll continue with your recovery. But I think it’s time for you to consider dating. I think it would help you to move forward.”
Jess put her fork down. “You must be joking. That’s absolutely not something I’m considering and am not sure when or if I ever will.” Jess had resolved not to allow herself to be vulnerable again. The pain of any potential betrayal was more than she could risk.
“But you need to get out there and see,” Claire insisted. “You’re an extremely attractive woman who deserves a great man to appreciate you. And you’re not going to find one by hanging around with a pregnant woman.” She laughed then and paused to land her point while appraising Jess. “We should put Kenneth on alert to dress you for dating!”
Jess raised her eyebrows, then looked at what she was wearing: a conservative navy-blue wool crepe suit, and answered, “Too soon.” But Claire’s advice hit a nerve. Her social world had clearly narrowed in the past months. Funny how the married friends she and Arthur had socialized with had more or less disappeared. Perhaps they thought marital woes were infectious. She hadn’t sought them out in her heartache, so maybe they really didn’t know how to approach her. Now that Arthur was out of the picture, she wasn’t sure what they had heard through the grapevine and didn’t make it her business to find out.
Eager to change the subject, she said, “So, you’ll never guess who wants me to do some work for him.”
With her mouth full, Claire didn’t try for a response, so Jess continued, “Dick, Midwest Health Dick, who expected me to keep Arthur here to keep his merger safe. He wants me to lead a new initiative for him. Can you believe it?”
“Yes, I can easily believe that. I know it was hurtful to you when he did what he did last spring. But he’s a businessman who isn’t taking any of this personally.”
“So, you think I should agree to do it?”
“I think you should do it if it’s something you want to do,” Claire responded. After taking the last dinner roll from the basket, she added, “Actually, it may be just the thing to put that chapter behind you.”
As Jess drove home, she marveled at how Claire could pose the question so clearly. Now she just had to figure out the answer. What did she want to do?
Chapter 25
The next day, Jess treated herself to a French-vanilla double latte from the corner coffee shop and met Dan as she entered her building’s elevator. “Good morning. I was going to track you down later. How was the Chicago trip?”
“You know how these advisory conferences can be—one mind-numbing day to fill your head with trends, while the real learning goes on when you bump into colleagues who are also trying to stay awake.” They shared a laugh. “So, what’s up?”
“I understand Dick is interested in getting our help with a new acquisition strategy.”
Dan looked surprised. “How . . . Cindy?” “Yup.” She smiled.
They reached their floor and got off. “Do you have time to talk now, Jess?”
“Sure. Let me drop my stuff, and then I’ll come to your office.” Dan seemed tense. Jess hoped he hadn’t told Cindy to keep this hush-hush.
“C’mon in. Let’s sit over here,” he said when she entered his office. As she sat, she took in the view of downtown lights brightening the darkness of an early November morning.
“Dan, I didn’t mean to corner you on this, and, gosh, I hope it wasn’t a secret . . .”
“No, of course not. I’m glad you brought it up. We need to talk about it.” He looked up at her sheepishly. “I guess I was trying to figure out how to approach you.”
“You mean you were a bit worried about how to approach me after Dick kicked me off the last project?”
Dan looked at her quizzically. “That would be a yes.”
Jess laughed softly, and Dan joined in. “Well, the man has nerve—we can agree on that. What is it he wants us to do?”
“That’s the thing, Jess. It’s not us he wants—it’s you. You just happen to be in this firm now. He did his homework and got your name as the top choice for clinic acquisition work. Not even a close second.” Dan shifted in his seat and took his glasses off.
“But, given your history, he wasn’t sure you’d hear him out, so he called me. I brought Cindy along, thinking it was about legal work. But that’s not the focus, at least not on the front end. He wants you to take the lead on deciding which practices Midwest Health goes after, and then to help them sort out the how.”
“Cindy doesn’t know about Dick’s role in my decision to transition out of the merger work.” Actually, nobody at work did, except for Dan.
“No, and she didn’t find out about it at the meeting. Once I saw where this was going, I excused her. Then Dick asked me point blank if I thought you’d agree to work with Midwest Health again.”
“And?” Jess felt for the clasp on her necklace and shifted it to the back of her neck.
“I told him I didn’t know.” He eased back in his chair. “I also told him you had every reason never to give him the time of day again. I must say, I enjoyed that part.” He smiled.
“Wow. I wish I’d been there.” Jess returned the smile. “So, where did you leave it? And what would you like to have happen here, Dan?”
“I told him I’d talk to you and that you could take it from there. If you want to explore it, fine, but if not, Jess, that’s OK with me. It’s not like we don’t have work to do here. We’re not begging for clients right now.”
“No, that’s true.” Jess gazed out the window, her thoughts mixed. Dick had had no way of knowing the status of her marriage when he’d presented his ultimatum to her, but it had still been a sexist move on his part. “Do you think he learned anything from this? Did he give you any sense that he’s gained some insight into how to treat women in the workplace?”
“Hard to know. I do think he realized that he’d miscalculated his leverage point with Arthur.” Dan stopped abruptly and looked quickly at Jess. “Oh, God, that sounded awful.”
“Go on. What do you mean?”
“Well, he’s very intelligent. But the man must be missing an empathy gene when it comes to people. And he seems to think that’s OK if he has a larger purpose in mind.” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t describe him as an evolved leader.”
“Nope, I wouldn’t either, Dan.” They laughed.
Dan looked at his watch. Jess saw his assistant, Amy, peek through the glass. Time to start the business day. They both stood. He walked over to put his coffee cup on his desk. “Anyway, think about it. If you’re willing to hear him out, he’d like to take you to lunch and talk about it. Your call.”
“Oh, I’ll hear him out, for sure. But on my turf. I’ll ask him to lunch at the Saint Louis Club.” She threw Dan a brilliant smile and left him chuckling.
A few days later, Jess drove to the Pierre Laclede Center, where the Saint Louis Club was located. She parked a block or two away, close to the old county courthouse. It was a blustery autumn day that sent flying leaves collecting at the base of the few trees in front of the building. It was a relief to get out of the wind and into the foyer. She head
ed up to the fourteenth-floor Back Door dining room.
“Ms. Lawson, I’ve seated your guest,” the host announced.
Jess checked her watch. Two minutes past noon—perfect. As she made her way to the dining room, the CEO of the Jenny Project, a nonprofit she had worked with pro bono awhile back, flagged her down. She greeted him, then looked around. She saw Dick Morrison studying his menu and facing the wall.
“Hello, Dick. Thanks for meeting me downtown.” He rose when she reached the table and gave her a formal handshake. Three degrees shy of firm—decidedly weak for a so-called power player.
“Of course. Thanks for taking the meeting.” Jess detected a touch of humility in his voice.
“Well, Dan tells me you have quite the proposal for me, so I wanted to hear you out for myself.” She paused. “I see you’ve already studied the menu. Are you set to order?”
He nodded, and she caught the eye of the headwaiter, who approached and asked, “Are you and your guest ready, Ms. Lawson?”
Dick gestured for Jess to go first, but she waved him off, flipping his script. “You go first, Dick—you’re my guest.” She closed her menu and after Dick ordered, said, “Paul, would you have them poach a couple of eggs and top the spinach salad?”
“Just as you like it, Ms. Lawson.” Paul wound his way among the small tables to the kitchen. The lunch crowd was beginning to show up.
Dick scanned the room for a bit, then focused on Jess and said, “Dan may have told you that I did a lot of research to find the right person to lead this project. I hope you’re proud of your reputation in the community.” Jess tried not to show her surprise at his flattery and smiled politely.
“I’m curious: Why did you take your business to Dan’s firm?” Dick relaxed into his chair, his charisma oozing from every pore.
“Dan and I have a shared value system. We take on projects we believe serve a greater good. I was at the point where I was turning clients away, so I wanted the extra capacity that a larger firm could give me, without having to spend time growing it myself. I wasn’t looking to build an empire; I just wanted to do meaningful work.”
“Well, I think you’d find this meaningful, Jess. I need someone who knows the community practices here to direct us to those that are the right fit. We’re ready to grow and need to bring the clinical work to our larger system. Did you get the position paper I had couriered to you?”
Lunch was served. “Thank you, Paul. It looks perfect.” Jess smiled at the waiter. She couldn’t care less what Dick ate.
“Yes, I did receive the paper, and read it. Dick, what’s your ultimate goal with all of this?”
He smiled as he met her gaze. “To get you to agree to develop and implement our strategy for clinic acquisition.”
“I know what this lunch is about. I’m asking what your ultimate goal for Midwest Health is.”
“For Midwest Health to be the model of a public-private partnership able to preserve the academic mission of a university through excellent clinical care and responsive community service.” Dick sounded rehearsed, parroting a line his marketing department must have supplied.
“And is that your ultimate career goal, Dick, or do you see this as a stepping-stone to a bigger job?”
He had started on his sandwich and took a drink of his iced tea before responding. “If you’re worried that I won’t see this strategy through, you needn’t, Jess. This is important to me personally. I’ll let the career path take care of itself.” She noted a bit of arrogance seeping out.
“Well, you certainly have achieved success with the merger. I’m pleasantly surprised to hear from Dan how well it seems to be going—and happy for everyone involved.” She smiled, then glanced down at her left hand, noting the birthstone where her wedding ring should be. “Happy for everyone” might be an overstatement. She now knew the merger strain hadn’t been what had ruined her marriage, but it would always remind her of its choppy end.
“Thank you, Jess. We still have some loose ends, but by and large it’s been smoother than I expected.” He started on his soup.
“So, no mass exodus by the faculty, then.” Jess glanced up from her salad and looked him in the eye.
Dick was taking a sip of soup. It went down the wrong way. He choked, sputtering and coughing loudly as people turned to look. Paul came over with another napkin and refilled Dick’s water glass. He took two swallows of iced tea, then pulled out his handkerchief to blow his nose and wipe his eyes. Finally, he took a deep breath and swallowed hard before he was back in control.
“No.” He spoke softly, handkerchief put away, his red nose the only evidence of his coughing fit. “I need to apologize for my behavior toward you last winter. I misjudged the situation, and I know I put you in an untenable position. I’m sorry for that.”
“My policy then and now is not to discuss my personal life with a client, but, since you brought it up, I will tell you that it not only was unprofessional but also showed a total lack of sensitivity on your part.”
“I know that, and I’m truly sorry.” He cleared his throat again. “And I can see that it’s too much for me to expect you to put that aside and work with me on anything again. This was a mistake.”
Jess let him wait, his sandwich half eaten, his soup put aside, no utensils in hand.
She placed her fork across her empty plate and drank the last of her water. “You know, Dick, you and I have something in common. We’ll both give our all to see something through, to reach a goal. I respect that in you and recognize that trait as one that can be hard to control at times.” Jess stopped herself from delivering a full-blown lecture. She could see that Dick was already listening.
She leaned forward, her arms folded on the table.
“Here’s my position. I’ve always recognized the value of academic medicine for this state. That means that Midwest Health, now that it owns the university hospital, needs to thrive. If I agree to work with you on this strategy, it’s because I want to make Midwest Health stronger—not because of you, but in spite of you.” She paused and locked eyes with him. “If I were to work on any new project with you, I’d have to have total control—within certain financial parameters, of course.”
Dick did not respond but kept eye contact.
“So if you feel that these terms could work, you know where to find me.” She broke eye contact, glanced down at the table to find the bill, signed it, and rose. “Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”
With that, Jess left him at the table and made her way to the elevator.
If she hadn’t been wearing her killer heels, Jess would have skipped back to her car. She felt like she could now conquer the rest of the world. But the winds had whipped up even more during her meeting with Dick, and she barely made it into the driver’s seat before the rain started.
She got to her office and turned her cell phone back on. Another phone message from Arthur. Ten days since the lake. Every day, at least two voice mails or texts. All right—enough already!
She shook her hair back into place, slipped off her heels, and e-mailed him: “Turn over the picture, and you can keep half the miles. Offer expires in 24 hours.”
She turned on her office sound system to soft jazz and dealt with e-mail and paperwork until four p.m. Then she was off to a massage appointment amid the November evening’s gale.
Chapter 26
Sideways rain and wind made the drive to the massage studio challenging: cars crawled along, and a traffic light was out at the busiest intersection on the route. But Jess, still feeling the rush from her meeting with Dick, arrived with a smile on her face.
The low light and soft music of the studio enveloped her. She hadn’t realized her body was tense until she was on the table and warm, oiled hands were working the knots out of her upper back.
Her mind drifted to Arthur. She conjured up an image of him reading her e-mail. He would be furious. It made her smile but then sad. Memories floated in: happy family moments at the lake; she and Arthur
attending school activities as proud parents; teaching their kids to drive. Why couldn’t those good times have lasted?
Anyway, what does it matter now? she asked herself. There he is in Portland, with a whole new life. She remembered helping him set up his office in St. Louis, his favorite art on the walls, a piece of sculpture they had found on one of their escapades in Italy. Had he boxed all that up and put it in his new office?
What about family photos? She knew he had a favorite one of her and the kids: Tom still a toddler, Beth barely older, smothering their mother in their no-holds-barred embrace.
Maybe the new love had helped him set up. She felt her body tighten at the thought. The new love would mean different pictures on his desk, for sure. She forced herself to block any further thoughts of Rebecca.
The masseuse helped her flip over onto her back. Her leg muscles, tight from running, protested at the targeted touch, but she knew this pain was therapeutic. She stayed with the touch and forced her mind to go blank.
Jess was always a bit dazed after a massage. She dressed slowly and sipped the tea the masseuse had left for her. She turned her cell back on and noticed that she had received a response from Arthur: “Tickets for the kids to Portland for Thanksgiving. The rest of the miles are yours.”
She fell hard back into her chair, gut-punched, and dropped her teacup in the process. It broke, loudly, on the tile floor. Her teeth clenched as she squeezed her eyes tightly against oncoming tears.