“Amy, when are you coming home?” Emily nagged.
“When camp is over.”
“You’re not seriously spending the rest of the summer there, are you?”
“No. Not the rest of it. I’ll be back the second week of August.” I couldn’t believe she thought I’d abandon my kids just as the summer was starting.
“And then what? You know you still haven’t registered for fall semester.”
She was right. I hadn’t registered for classes. And it’s not that I didn’t know what I wanted to take. I knew exactly what I’d be interested in, and U of Denver offered it all. I just wasn’t ready to commit to going back. Not when there was so much more the world had to offer—if I could just pinpoint which part of it.
“Yeah. I know.” I hesitated, wondering if she would understand. Then again, maybe talking to my best friend would help me understand why I just didn’t have the motivation to go back. I took a deep breath and decided to go for it. “It’s just that I don’t think there’s really much there for me, Em.”
“Where? Here? What are you saying?”
“I’m not sure I’m saying anything. I’m just…” I struggled to try to explain how I was feeling, and I knew from experience when you wanted to explain something to Emily, you needed to make it about her. Even if it was hypothetical. “Like me, you were born and raised in Denver. You’ve had all the same friends, grew up knowing the same shop owners and neighborhood people. And when you graduated high school, you chose to go to a school that’s safe and around everything you know. I’m just not sure if that’s the same…comfortability I want.” I was starting to wonder if this was the best approach. I could almost feel Em frowning on the other end. She was silent, and it was extremely uncommon for her. “Em?”
“Where is all this coming from, Ame?”
“I guess it’s what drove me out of town when the summer started. I wanted to try something new. Somewhere far, where turning back wouldn’t be as easy.”
“Let me ask you something. Why would you have turned back?”
I didn’t answer.
“I’ll tell you why,” Emily offered. “Because you’re afraid that if things were getting too hot to handle, you’d turn back.”
That should have hurt, but she was wrong. In fact, it was the opposite. “Actually, I’m pretty sure I can handle anything that comes my way, Em. What I’m worried about is nothing happening.” I wasn’t sure if I was making any sense to her.
“Okay. Well, let me know how that works out for you. I’m going to go live my comfortable, safe life right here where everyone knows me.”
“Em, that’s not what I meant.”
“You’re no better than me, Amy,” Emily snapped. “You’re kidding yourself. Spend the rest of the summer there if you want, prove whatever it is you’re trying to prove to yourself. But just remember, it’s harder to fix things when you’ve been ignoring them for so long.” She hung up before I could respond.
Suddenly, I wasn’t so sleepy. I felt sick, and my head was spinning. Em was right; I was kidding myself. What did I think was going to happen? That I’d leave town for a bit and suddenly find my life’s true calling while busying myself as an art teacher?
Art. My dad had told me it was a poor man’s profession when I’d spent the last two years of high school thinking about it. I tried to shake the negativity out of my head, but it had only made me woozy.
Instead of running to the bathroom, I slipped on my shoes and ran out of the room. I ran as quickly as I could down the steps and then out onto the boardwalk. By the time I hit the sand, the warm humidity started to catch up to me. My body was sticky and my throat nearly suffocating. But at that moment, I felt weak. I slowed down and huddled over, catching my breath.
Why was I running? It wasn’t like I could get away from my thoughts or from Em’s voice. What was I trying to prove or do by coming here? And why had I been avoiding asking myself these questions since I got in my car with map in hand? I straightened and continued running out onto the sand.
I looked for a rock to sit on but in my jittery state I couldn’t possibly have sat down. I needed to go for a run, or swim or—I froze when I saw the mountain wall that spread across the beach and deep into the ocean water. I remembered the college-age kids I’d seen jumping that one morning. How daring and incredibly fearless they seemed. I continued my jog, but this time toward the mountain.
I reached the climb, slipped out of my shoes, and started pulling toward the top. Once I got there, it was just an even surface with a few low trees and loose branches.
I slowly approached the edge and kneeled to peek down. I swallowed hard and pulled back. I hadn’t seen them from the beach, but the bottom had rocks that stood out from the edge. I watched the water crash into the rocks angrily, and my heart leaped. I turned back and closed my eyes, remembering the excitement I’d felt from afar for those kids.
If they could do it, why couldn’t I? Why couldn’t I embrace my freedom as they had? I thought about Em and Jade, I thought about my father and Marci, an image of them having breakfast on the small, round kitchen table that had been there for as long as I could remember. I thought about school back home and how uneventful it would be going back. I opened my eyes and walked back toward a small tree. I held on to the branch as hard as I could.
I took a deep breath, opened my eyes, turned back to face the edge, and ran. I leaped from what I hoped was far enough out to avoid hitting the rocks. As I felt myself falling, I’d immediately regretted the jump. What had I been thinking? I waited until my body plunged right into those rocks, and then swore I heard my name.
“Amy.” A male voice echoed from the top of the cliff.
My body crashed into the cold, hard water. I pulled myself vigorously up from under the surface. I looked up at the edge of the cliff to see a figure dive headfirst into the water, his fall a lot faster than mine had seemed. He plunged a few feet from me. It wasn’t until he came up from the water and pulled his head back did I realize it was Rick. He caught sight of me and grabbed one of my arms.
“Are you okay?”
I freed myself from him immediately. “I’m fine,” I replied, although my trembling voice would have suggested otherwise.
“Good. What the hell were you thinking?” he demanded.
I looked around and spotted the ocean wave hitting the same rocks along the bottom of the mountains, which were only a few feet behind us. Rick had landed closer to them than I had. I wobbled in the water and Rick grabbed a hold of me again.
“Let go of me. I can swim, you know,” I whined, heading toward the shore. My body was exhausted from the crash, but I willed myself to make it on my own.
He caught up with me and pulled me to one of the rocks by the cliff for support until I caught my breath. I avoided looking at him but noticed he kept his focus on me.
“That was a real stupid thing to do, Amy. What were you trying to prove?” He looked around the empty ocean and beach. There wasn’t a body in sight. “And to whom?”
“What are you doing here? How did you get up there?”
“I followed you.” His voice was quieter and less demanding.
“Why?” My voice was still shaky, and my teeth were beginning to chatter. I was safe and had lived through this, yet I was having a hard time calming down. Rick, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed by the fall, other than a few goosebumps I noticed on his arms.
“C’mon. Let’s get you out of here. There are sharks out here, you know.” He gave me a pull toward the shore, and I swam the rest of the way. He stayed behind me. We finally reached shore, and I started walking, but I was exhausted. My knees finally gave in, and I plopped down just as a small wave thrust into me from behind.
“Not quite there.” Rick came up behind me, lifting me by the waist. He led me to the warm, dry sand before letting me plop back onto it. He dropped himself right beside me.
We sat in silence for a moment, watching and listening to the waves, s
till catching our breaths. For some reason, the ocean seamed meaner than I’d ever known it to be. There was a sudden change in the sound of the crashing waves. They seemed louder and enraged, as if the ocean was no longer a friend, but a challenging opponent.
“Should I bother asking, or are you going to launch another defense bullet at me?” he finally asked, still looking out deep into the water.
“What, like no one does it?” I said, relieved that I’d found my calm voice again.
He gave a short laugh, although I could tell from his concealed anger that he found nothing funny about this. I guess the if-your-friends-jumped-off-a-cliff theory wouldn’t work here.
“I needed to prove something to myself,” I replied.
“Did it work?”
I looked at him. “Did you see me leap from a forty-foot cliff?”
“Yeah, I was right behind ya.”
“What were you doing out here?” I was really curious this time.
“The same thing you were doing.” He turned to me. “Going for a swim. I was in the water and saw you heading up there,” he paused. “So I followed you.”
“So how many times have you made that jump?” I asked after an awkward moment.
“Once…including today.” He raised his eyebrows.
I glared at him, surprised.
“I may be a water sports instructor, but I’m not insane.”
I felt my cheeks turn red and pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.
He smiled to himself.
“What?” I asked curiously.
“It was kind of incredible,” he admitted.
I shivered and shook my head. Needless to say, I didn’t feel the same. That was one thing I was never doing again. I blinked back the stinging in my eyes. “I just wanted to be fearless for once.”
“I thought you were crazy for jumping off a cliff, but that’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.”
I frowned at him.
“Amy, I’ve never seen courage like yours. You blindly hopped into a car and traveled cross-country to a town where you don’t know a soul, hoping to land yourself a job and a place to stay. As if that wasn’t enough adventure for one day, you went strolling around at night, trying to ward off bums from private property.” He smiled at me. “Then, just when I thought I’d seen it all, you challenge Jeff back at Sarah’s office, the most arrogant, self-centered jackass that I never see anyone mess with, and you actually won.” He let out a breath. “Amy, whatever your reasons are for coming here, even if you don’t know what they are, you’re following your heart. Only brave people follow their hearts when they don’t know where it’s leading them.”
I stared at him and finally blinked. I couldn’t tell you which emotion I was feeling was stronger at that moment: the amazement in Rick’s poetic observations or the hope I was starting to see in myself. It was astonishing what people thought of you without ever saying as much.
“I was wrong about you. What if I’m wrong about all this?” I said.
He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, then stood. I imagined from that look that the only way I’d find out is if I stuck around long enough.
I kept my arms tightly wrapped around my knees. Rick bent down and pulled on my arms to loosen the grip. “C’mon. Let’s walk.” He took my hand and helped me to my feet. We started walking back toward Bays House.
“Are there really sharks in that water?”
He laughed. “No. At least nowhere near we were.”
CHAPTER 17
Monday morning Rachel and I had gotten up early to help with last-minute detailing for the kids’ Fourth of July show. The weather was beautiful: sunny, and not a cloud in the sky. I felt excited for the kids; the mere idea of having to move the show to the gym in case it rained would have been devastating. Rachel, along with Jeff and Lindsey, helped unfold white party chairs along the beach that stretched out fourteen feet away from the stage. Peter and a few other counselors were helping the kids get ready. And I had to make some final detailing to my backdrop, since I’d needed to let the paint dry overnight.
The kids all did a fantastic performance. They sang their patriotic songs, marched their patriotic march, and a few even gave short speeches on what the holiday meant to them. Sarah was most proud of that one.
Jeff had even given me an approving nod when he saw my backdrop additions. “Not bad, Ame.”
Rick was caught up talking to parents—mostly the fathers, who had shown a lot of interest—about water sports. Rick was patient and spoke to everyone. I’d even noticed how he’d specifically referred to each child individually. I watched him for a minute, then blinked away as he’d caught my eye. Again.
By three o’clock in the afternoon, the concert was over. Proud parents were gathering up their campers as we hurriedly cleared out chairs, banners, and carts. I’d looked around, feeling proud for having had a small role in putting the scene together. And, if I was being truthful with myself, I was thankful for having the time to get to know Rick because of it. As he crossed my mind, I casually scanned the crowd for him, but he had disappeared shortly after Haley showed up to help with cleanup. And she was nowhere in sight either.
Rachel came up to me, sweaty and exhausted. “Oh, man. I’ve got to get out of this heat. You want to walk back with me?”
“Not just yet. I’m going to help finish up here, then grab a cold drink and head back to take a nap.”
“A nap?” Rachel frowned and pretended to be taken aback. Then her expression turned serious. “Actually, a nap sounds really good right now.”
I must have been looking around the beach again, because Rachel caught my distraction.
“If you’re looking for Rick, I just saw him out front with Haley. She was helping him take the front sign down.” Rachel rolled her eyes, “Well, standing around and watching him was more like it.”
“Oh, no,” I insisted. “I was just trying to decide where to put these drapes.”
Rachel eyed me for a moment, as if to tell me that I didn’t need to make up excuses with her. “I’ll see you back at the room.” She waved and ran off down the boardwalk.
I was thankful to her for dropping the subject, but I couldn’t shake the disappointment that washed through me at every thought of them off together. I forced myself to brush it off and scanned for a task to engross myself in. I wasn’t going to get myself in this depressing frame of mind. Not again.
My eyes landed on the empty stage. I hopped on, deciding I would take down the striped blue-and-white stage curtains off the downstage columns they were tied to. I hadn’t been the one to hang them or tie them to the poles with the hard and rough solid blue poly ropes. The ropes were tightly tied around the drapes. I pulled and pulled, finding some loose holes and digging around until I was able to detangle the first set. There were three more, and each one seemed tighter than the last.
Suddenly I felt someone jump onto the stage next to me. I spun my head around and found Jeff facing the audience, which would now only be the camp and club staff cleaning up.
He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Hey everyone! Fourth of July fireworks party on the beach tonight.” He pointed to the left of the beach. “In front of Dan’s Crab House.” A few people cheered, and Jeff jumped off the stage to continue to give people details of the party. I wondered how a careless self-centered jerk like him could be hired year after year to work with children.
A few moments later, I finally loosened the strings off all the drapes and pulled them off the downstage columns. I bent down to start gathering the fabric when I felt a tug of the other end of it behind me. Thinking it was Jeff again, I spun around angrily and found Rick leaning against the backstage column with his legs crossed at the ankles, holding up one end of the drapes. I couldn’t decide if it was the heat getting to me or the lighting or if I just had lost my mind, but he looked incredibly sexy. His hair was almost a shade darker slicked back and wet, as if he’d recently run water through it. P
robably to cool off.
“Need some help with these?” His green eyes were smiling at me. His tanned skin looked as smooth as ever.
Yeah, it was definitely the heat. I needed to lie down.
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. My mind was drawing a blank. The only thing I could think of is my recent attraction toward him. And it wasn’t just physical. That and I wondered where Haley was.
“Saw you take on the poly ropes.” He glanced down at the loose, thick, blue ropes at my feet. “We usually just cut those off.”
“Well, now they can be reused,” I remarked calmly. I waited for him to release the drapes, but instead he uncrossed his legs and pulled on his end of the fabric, taking slow steps toward me.
I swallowed and glanced around us.
“Always thinking ahead,” he offered, never taking his eyes off me.
Before I could think of anything to say, he was less than a foot away from me and had dropped his end of the fabric. Before I could protest, he pulled my hands off the drapes and turned them so my palms were face up. It wasn’t until he looked down at my hands that I’d realized they were a little red and sore from the friction of the ropes.
“Not too bad.” Rick observed. He ran his thumbs over my palms—so gently I barely felt it. He looked up. “You’re lucky you didn’t get robe burn. In this heat, you probably wouldn’t have even noticed until it was too late.”
“It’s fine,” I said, pulling away from him. I was afraid if he got any closer, he’d hear my heart racing. Why was he having such an effect on me all of a sudden?
“Is everything all right?” he asked quietly.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” I remembered his interrogation outside the pool gate when he’d insisted that he’d sensed my tension, and I hadn’t been nearly as close to him then as I was now. The mere thought of it only intensified my fluster.
He finally took a step back, looking around the stage. “Well, I’ve never seen anyone so focused and determined on a task like you just were.” He turned his head back to face me. “Unless you were thinking about something.”
A Summer of Chances Page 10