by Leslie North
“What do you do for a living, Mr. Wild?” Levon asked, filling the conversational void, much to Noah’s irritation.
“Uh, I work in the gaming industry, selling security software to casinos,” his father said. “I’m working with several riverboat ventures in Joliet right now, so it works out well with me and Danielle.”
“Nice,” Levon said, darting Noah a look that screamed don’t-be-a-dick. Except that where his father was concerned, Noah felt fully justified in being less than hospitable. “Must be where Noah gets it from, then.”
“Gets what?” he snapped. He wasn’t like his father. Not at all. Noah took care of his responsibilities. Noah stood his ground and didn’t run away when things got tough.
“Your love of gambling,” Levon said, his tone amused. His clear amusement at the situation was a score they’d have to settle later. “Your son was the reigning blackjack champ of his SEAL team.”
“Wow, son. That’s impressive,” his dad said, giving him a hesitant smile.
Noah opened his mouth to tell him where he could shove his impression, but footsteps coming down the stairs shut him up before he could say another word.
“Let’s see if we can get you fed, baby girl,” Serena said in a lilting voice that pinched Noah’s heart. “Are you hungry? Yes, you are, aren’t you? Momma’s baby girl is hungry and—”
Serena stopped short at the end of the stairs and stared across the foyer into the living room, her gaze circling from his parents to Levon, then finally landing on Noah. “Who are our guests?”
He stood and walked over to her, hoping to head off a disaster. “Look, I’m sorry about this. I didn’t expect my parents to just show up here after I told my mom about the baby, but—”
“Is this my grandbaby?” his mother said, coming into the foyer behind him.
Noah had little choice but to step aside as Gracie squealed in Serena’s arms. “Yes. Mom, this is my daughter, Gracie. And this is her mother, Serena Carson.”
“Oh, my goodness,” his mother said, putting her hands to her cheeks. “She’s so precious. May I hold her?”
Serena looked from his mom to him, then nodded. “Sure. She’s a bit hungry, so hopefully she won’t get too fussy.”
“Well, I know all about fussy babies,” his mother said, taking Gracie and smiling down at her. “Noah was a holy terror when he was little. So picky and persnickety. If everything wasn’t just so, he’d pitch a fit in his crib.”
“Really?” Serena raised a brow at him, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “Imagine that.”
Noah shook his head. “That’s not true. I just like things to be done right.”
“And guess who got to decide what that meant?” his mom said, winking at him before cuddling and cooing to little Gracie. “How about we go in here and meet your grandpa, huh? Yes, would you like to go with Grandma, huh? Would you? Yes, you would.”
He watched his mom walk away with Gracie, charming her more with each step, and couldn’t stop a small smile from breaking through. His mom really was the best. He’d do anything for her, especially if it meant tossing his no-good dad out on his butt.
“I thought you said your parents split up,” Serena whispered.
“They did.”
“They don’t look split up to me,” she said, hiking her chin toward the living room where his mother had settled back on the sofa beside his dad. She had Gracie in her arms and his dad had his arm around the two of them and they looked like a Hallmark picture postcard family. His gut knotted tighter. There were times growing up where he’d have given anything to see that scene play out at their house. But nope. Never happened. Until now. Resentment burned alongside the flickering hope inside him, squelching it before it could take root. He was too old for fairy tales and this was no happily ever after. Nothing like that was possible for him. He’d seen to that himself when he’d told Serena there was no future for them together.
“Well, they are,” he said, taking a step back from her, away from what he couldn’t have. “Looks can be deceiving.”
Serena gave him a flat, sidelong glance, then walked past him toward the living room. “Tell me about it.”
Noah stood there for several moments, weighing his options. Part of him wanted to grab his duffle and clear out of there right then, forget all the pain and heartache and just go. But the other part of him knew he’d never get over it if he did. He wasn’t a coward and running was a coward’s choice. So, he manned up and headed into the living room, where the conversation had shifted from Gracie to Serena and her kidnapping.
Levon passed him on his way into the room and said in a low voice, “Good luck, dude.”
Perfect. He set the pink elephant on the floor and took a seat in the empty chair, steeling himself for the grilling that was bound to come once his mom found out he and Serena weren’t a couple. Not anymore, anyway. If they ever really had been. That band of regret cinched tighter around his chest.
“So, where will you two be moving after this?” his mother asked, kissing Gracie’s head and bouncing her on her knee. “We passed some lovely homes in this neighborhood on our way here.”
“Oh, we’re not going to stay together,” Serena said, her polite smile hard and brittle around the edges. “Noah and I are going to co-parent Gracie, but otherwise we’ll live separate lives.”
His mother looked up at Noah, her expression concerned. “Are you sure that’s the best choice?”
No. “Yes,” he said. “It’s what Serena and I have decided.”
Beside him, Serena frowned and opened her mouth like she wanted to argue, but Gracie took that opportunity to upchuck down the front of her cute little pink sundress.
“Oh, dear,” his mother said. “If you get me a towel, I’ll clean her up.”
Without thinking, Noah and Serena moved as a unit, both getting up at the same time to handle the situation. After all these days together, it was what they were used to. A normal routine.
“I’ll get the wipes and a clean dress,” he said, heading upstairs.
“And I’ll get the baby wash and a towel from the kitchen,” Serena called, heading down the hall.
They met up in the living room again moments later to get their baby daughter all cleaned up. By the time they were done, his parents were watching them closely from the sofa, a quizzical look on their faces.
Noah put away the last of the wipes, then met his mom’s gaze. “What?”
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s just that you two work like a well-oiled machine. A real team. Seems a shame to break that up.”
His dad nodded. “I know you don’t want to hear it from me, son, but finding that person you sync with, even if it’s difficult to make it work all the time, is still a rare and precious thing.”
Snorting, Noah took his seat again, Gracie over his shoulder. “You’re right. I don’t want to hear it from you.”
“Look, Noah,” his dad said. “Walking out on you and your mom was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. And believe me, I’ve made some doozies. But at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. We fought all the time and that was no way to live. No way to raise a child. But over the years, I’ve learned that maybe my way isn’t always the best way and that compromise is worth it, if it means keeping someone special in your life.” He leaned over and kissed Noah’s mom on the temple. “Your mom and I met up again a few months ago and we just knew. We’ve mellowed over the years, and the things we used to fight about just aren’t as important anymore.”
“Not as important as love,” his mom said, kissing his father gently on the lips before turning to Noah again. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do with your life, but please don’t make the same mistakes we did. The past few weeks, you fought so hard to stay together. Why would you fight so hard now to stay apart? Especially with little Gracie to consider?”
Feeling cornered and caged in, Noah handed off his daughter to Serena and stood, needing some air and space to
breathe. “Excuse me a minute.”
He fled to the kitchen, only to find Levon there, leaning against the counter.
“Dude, you look like a dead man walking.”
“Gee, thanks.” Noah nudged him out of the way to pull a beer from the fridge. He twisted the cap off the bottle and took a long swig. “Man, we got any mission coming up on the other side of the world? ’Cause I could sure use an escape right about now.”
Levon snorted. “Nah. Nothing I know of. Besides, running gets you exactly nowhere. Trust me. I tried. All this BS with trying to blend work and relationships…it’s hard. No doubt. But getting a family at the end of it? That makes it all worth it.” He pushed away from the counter and slapped Noah on the shoulder. “You just need to find your balance, dude. That’s all.”
Noah watched his buddy walk away, his head still ringing with his mother’s words. A vision of Serena and Gracie gone from his life forever making him realize that maybe Levon was right and he’d been wrong all along.
21
After Noah’s parents left, Serena went back upstairs to finish packing up her stuff and Gracie’s while Noah watched the baby downstairs. She got everything into her bag and zipped it up, then turned to the closet to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. The only thing left to go through was the backpack she’d brought from the villa in St. Dourdane.
She had half a mind to just shove it inside her bigger bag and deal with it later, but there was stuff inside that belonged to Noah and he should have it back. With a sigh, she hauled the thing out and dumped the contents on the bed. There were some extra diapers, a couple of protein bars, one bottle of water and…
Serena ran her fingertips over the cover of Noah’s journal. It had fallen open to pages near the middle. Noah’s messy scrawl covered the sheets in blue ink. She’d forgotten about this thing until now. When they’d been on the run in St. Dourdane, she’d noticed him writing in it every day, but when she’d asked about it he’d always avoided telling her what was in it. She picked the thing up and glanced over her shoulder at the door. The best thing to do would be to close it and put it on top of his bag. It wasn’t her business. But when she started to do just that, a few words caught her eye. “Gratitude.” “Thankful.” “Blessings.”
Dammit.
It wasn’t really snooping. Not if the thing had fallen open to this page when she’d tossed it on the bed, right? Wasn’t her fault if she saw what was written there when she went to put it away, was it?
No. it wasn’t. At least that was the excuse she was going with. She started reading each line, her heart swelling with joy a little more with each sentence. This was a gratitude journal. Noah kept a gratitude journal. She wasn’t sure why that made her so happy, but it did.
On each page was the date and a list of five things that day that he was grateful for. She looked at the two pages in front of her, then flipped to the next ones and the next ones. All the days were the same, starting from the time he’d rescued her at the villa until today. The first thing he was grateful for was his life. The second was his health. The third was his family. And four and five? Her and Gracie.
Tears blurred her vision before she blinked them away.
That had to mean something, right? No matter if their arguments told her he didn’t care, Noah must love them, at least a little. A man didn’t profess his gratitude like this every day for things he didn’t care about a great deal.
Noah loved her. Noah loved Gracie. She refused to believe otherwise.
Serena sank down on the edge of the bed and held the closed journal in her hands. But if he loved her and the baby, and was still willing to let them go because of his job, what more could she do to change his mind?
Frowning, she tossed the journal back onto the bed and covered her face with her hands. She’d finally found The One, the guy who was perfect for her and the person she could see herself spending the rest of her life with, except he didn’t want the same with her. Because of his work.
The irony wasn’t lost on her. Up until the day she’d found out she was pregnant with Gracie, she’d never thought about settling down or putting her personal life before her professional duty. Even that night with Noah, as wonderful as it had been, had been a fling. Nothing permanent.
Now, though, all she wanted was forever with him—and he seemed to believe it was impossible because of their jobs.
Frustrated and restless, she finished cleaning out the old knapsack from the villa and set the journal atop Noah’s duffle bag before heading downstairs to set her bag and Gracie’s things by the door. She’d planned to call an Uber as soon as she was ready, but she decided she needed some air first.
She called down the hall toward the kitchen where Noah and the baby were, “Hey, I’m going to take a quick walk around the block. Be back in a few minutes.”
“Want me to come with you?” Noah yelled back. “If you just give me a few minutes…”
“No,” she said, too fast. She actually would love nothing more than to have him by her side, but that was all the more reason to get out of here alone. They’d be saying goodbye soon enough, and then she’d only see him maybe a few times a year on holidays and Gracie’s birthday, if his schedule allowed. It was exactly what she’d said she didn’t want—but she knew she wouldn’t give up the chance to still have him in their lives, even just a little. Still, it would be smart to get accustomed to him not being around. The sooner she got used to being on her own again, the better. “I won’t be long. You stay here with Gracie.”
After tugging on her jacket, she headed out onto the porch. The day was overcast and a bit chilly with the breeze and all. She zipped up and headed down the stoop to the sidewalk. It was a nice, quiet neighborhood, filled with quaint two-story, mid-century homes and well-kept lawns. About half a block from the house, she crossed the street and headed to the small park nearby. There weren’t many people out today yet, so she basically had the place to herself. Serena took a deep breath of fresh, clean air and headed across a grassy area toward some vacant picnic tables. Maybe she’d just sit here for a while, until she was ready to call her Uber. That would keep her out of the house and away from the temptation of throwing herself into Noah’s arms and begging him to try working it out between them one last time. His work was important, but so was hers. The charities she supported depended on her to—
Her thoughts were interrupted by a hand on her arm. She turned fast, expecting to see Noah behind her. “It’s just like you to ignore my request, but…” The rest of her words clogged in her constricted throat. “Nate? What are you doing here?”
“Serena,” he said, a wildness in his blue eyes that she’d never seen there before.
Pulse tripping and blood racing through her ears, her mind whirled, trying to think of some way to get out of this situation and back to the house. Okay. Okay. Maybe her brother didn’t know that she knew about what he’d done. Maybe he hadn’t done anything, and this had all been a huge mistake. Maybe he just came to check up on her. Maybe…
He moved aside his jacket to reveal the handgun holstered at his waist, his voice oddly hollow. “Mom and Dad always said that if you wanted something done right, to do it yourself. Guess I should’ve listened.”
She took a step back and held up her hands as he drew the gun and pointed it at her. “Nate, please. Come on. You don’t have to do this.”
In all the cop shows she’d watched growing up, they always tried to keep the suspect talking, keep him distracted until help arrived. Except now, there wasn’t any help arriving. Not unless she could reach her phone in her pocket and hit the emergency call button. She started to drop one hand toward it now but stopped almost immediately as he cocked the gun.
“Don’t,” was all Nate said, his pale cheeks flushed and his hand shaking slightly. “Why couldn’t you just die in South America like I’d planned?”
Even knowing he’d had her kidnapped and had planned to take her out, hearing the words still hurt. “Because of the mon
ey. The inheritance means more to you than your own flesh and blood.”
“That’s the thing though, Serena. You aren’t my flesh and blood. Not really.” He stepped closer to her, sneering. “Growing up, I had to watch Mom and Dad spoil you and coddle you and treat you just the same as me, even though you weren’t like me at all. I was their child. You were just some poor kid they picked up from the orphanage. The CEO position should’ve been mine.”
“Take it,” she said, darting a glance around her to see if anyone had noticed their exchange, but there wasn’t a soul in sight. She backed up another step, only to have Nate follow, that damned gun still aimed at her heart. “Seriously. You can have it. I’ve got my phone in my pocket. We can call the attorneys now and tell them I’m resigning and turning it all over to you. Just let me keep working for the charities, that’s all I ask. They were what I really cared about anyway.”
“Shut the fuck up!” Nate yelled, waving the gun at her, his hand shaking slightly. “Always the little do-gooder, weren’t you? Trying to show me up to Mom. Always making me look selfish and bad.”
“That wasn’t the reason I helped out around the world, Nate.” Oh God. How long had he felt this way about her? Apparently from the start, and she’d had no clue. Serena had been dumb and naïve enough to think she’d been adopted into the perfect, loving family. She’d never considered that Nate might resent her presence there. Betrayal and pain burned deep into her core. She’d loved him. Trusted him. Hell, he’d even been the first person she’d called from the casino once Noah had freed her from the villa. And the whole time, he’d been lying to her. He’d been behind it all.
A new emotion flared white-hot alongside everything else scorching through her veins. Anger.