I looked back at Aiden nervously and he gave me a small nod.
Sam grit his teeth so hard I thought they may fall out. Was it that painful?
The Alpha pulled back and produced a white cloth, wiping away excess blood while Sam got used to the pack link. He’d be feeling the sensations of everyone’s mind ricocheting through his own and that would be rough to get used to. I was worried how I was going to handle it, but we had gone through some training to get to this point.
Now that I could shift I was put through my paces as a wolf, which included controlling her while she was in the forefront and that was rough, but I was getting better at it now. This run tonight would be my first proper pack run and run with Aiden and I was feeling my excitement rise with each passing minute.
My wolf was excited as well, not only to become a member of the pack but to finally run with her mate, side by side.
I caught my father’s eye in the crowd and he gave me a wink as Sienna bounced on the balls of her feet beside him. Phoenix was watching the scene with interest, but I knew he was at the point now where he’d long enough been surrounded by wolves and he was ready to go home to Ohio. He’d been helpful with the cleansing though—and what a cleansing that had been.
For nearly two hours my father, Sienna, Phoenix and Hannah had cleansed me, not wanting any repeats of Salem. I had endured it, no one knew where the remains of Danyeela and Tatiana had floated to, but you could damn well bet they weren’t hanging around me anymore.
Life was getting a whole lot better.
My mind slipped back to graduation a few days ago. Aiden and I had stood in his bedroom before the ceremony, burnt orange robes on, both bouncing from the excitement that we were about to close a chapter on our lives and start a new one. His injuries had healed but the scars remained and even though he reassured me that he was fine with them, I was always left with that burning guilt that he got those because of me.
My father had filmed the entire ceremony to send it back home to the rest of the family who couldn’t make it. He had cheered so loudly when my name had been called and I walked across that podium, finally accepting my certificate, posing for a quick photo before I joined the rows of all the other graduates.
Lucy had told everyone about her pregnancy and had accepted it fully, especially after prom when she thought she had lost them. She had enrolled in some online fashion courses and would still be pursuing her dreams of opening a little clothing boutique of her own, it was just going to take more time now. Geoff had assured her she could go to college, that he’d step up and look after the kids, but Lucy had refused. This was her life now, she wasn’t going to do a half job of it.
“Are you ready Evelyn?” The Alpha asked me quietly and I zapped back to reality as he shifted my hair from my neck.
It was my turn already?
“Yes,” I told him.
My eyes locked with Aiden’s and his lips pulled up into a wide smile as The Alpha pierced my neck with his teeth, the sensation stinging before outright agony coursed through me as he pierced the flesh deeper, embedding the roots of his pack within me. Already I could feel the links of the pack attaching themselves to me and their minds brushed against mine in a way of welcome.
The Alpha pulled away and repeated the same action as he had with Sam, wiping the trail of blood away.
A strong sensation pushed against my mind and in my surprise, I let it in, not able to use my training to keep it at bay.
Hey beautiful, Aiden’s voice floated through my mind and a smile broke out on my face as I looked at him. Welcome to the pack.
“If everyone would join me in welcoming our newest members officially into the Wolfsbane pack,” The Alpha announced grandly, “by joining us in a pack run through the territory.”
Cheers erupted throughout the pack and wolves began shifting instantly and my wolf proudly took her step forward, pushing into my mind and taking control of the shift. It was as fluid as swimming underwater now, the shifting and reshaping of my bones and muscles, it happened as easy as breathing and before I knew it I was on four legs.
Mmm yes, my wolf sighed to me. This feels right.
The pack link only felt stronger and the voices of the other wolves echoed through my mind, bouncing off each other. I spied my father, Sienna and Phoenix as the only humans left standing. My father gave me a small nod while Sienna watched on with a huge smile, trying to spot Lucas no doubt. Phoenix still looked disinterested, only giving me a small smile when he caught me looking at him.
Something nudged my side and I whipped my head around, spying Aiden beside me, his eyes twinkling, and I could just imagine him smiling if he were human right now.
Let’s go, he told me.
He whirled around and took off like a bullet into the forest and I quickly followed after, which signaled to the clustered wolves it was time. The sound of thundering paws echoed like beating drums, laughter and jesting floated through the pack link and my wolf relished in finally being included. The feeling of running beside Aiden as a wolf was enough to make me near giddy.
The freedom felt when we ran together, diving over fallen trees, brushing under thick undergrowth, darting this way and that—it gave you a feeling of euphoria, of invincibility, a feeling I hadn’t ever really felt properly before.
We found through my training that I was stronger than the average wolf, I was stronger than Aiden and my wolf was larger than the average female as well. Everyone put that down to my mutated genetics, but I knew deep down it was because of my magic. From the moment I ended Danyeela and Tatiana I knew I absorbed some of their power—Morgana had said it would be so, but I didn’t tell anybody.
I didn’t need that getting out, I was content to hide my power if it meant keeping my pack and the people I loved safe. I didn’t need to deal with anyone else trying to take a hit out on me. No one would ever need to know how powerful I was now, and I stopped myself from using it too much, scared that it might just take over me anyway.
No one needs to know, my wolf assured me. No one ever will know.
She knew the consequences as much as I did, and we had made a promise to Aiden. No more, and I would make sure to my last breath he didn’t have to go through anything else because of me. I couldn’t forgive myself if he suffered any longer because of some more drama I brought in. He’d paid the price enough for being my mate and I would spend the rest of my life making it up to him.
Aiden and I split from the massive group of wolves and I followed him up a steep hill, my wolf using her extra strength to push us up and keep pace with Aiden. Reaching the top, we both slowed to a stop and the moon bore down brightly, making everything its light touched look truly magical. We stood at what I felt was the highest peak in the world, overlooking the Wolfsbane compound and in further distance, the town itself.
One more summer and we’re out of here Evelyn, Aiden told me. No one is going to know us, there will be no expectations. No patrols, no hierarchy… just us, living a normal life for a while.
It’s going to be amazing Aiden, I murmured back. I wouldn’t want to do that with anyone else.
We were silent for a moment, taking in the expanse of our home below us, the way they looked truly tiny from up here, so insignificant. This was going to be our future one day, both Aiden and I would oversee protecting and preserving the pack the same way the Alpha and Luna had before us. Would we be able to step up, prove to the pack we can look after them? Did they trust I wouldn’t lure anymore danger to them?
Only time would allow us to prove ourselves and as I looked over at Aiden, standing grandly in his wolf form I knew that together we could do it. We could look after the pack and we would look after each other.
His eyes met mine and his face broke out into a wolfish grin and I felt myself warm all over, the amount of love I had for him was indescribable. Morgana couldn’t have paired me with a more perfect mate, there was no one like him.
You’re beautiful Evelyn, Aiden murmured through my t
houghts. I would choose you every time. I don’t regret us ever. You’re mine and I love you. I’d take these scars for you on the daily if it meant keeping you safe.
No more scars, I told him. No more keeping me safe. We have a whole future waiting for us and it’s time we lived it like the teenagers we are.
If it’s with you, Aiden grinned. I’m ready for anything.
END
Acknowledgements
There are several people I would like to thank for their contributions to the book and their continued support over the last twelve months as I wrote Wolfsbane: The Wolf Within.
Thank you to my mum, for once again sparing your time and helping edit my third book. Your notes are a highlight and make the process more interesting—especially on that fourth read through. Thank you, Sue, for reading the book in its test phase and not killing me for keeping the end from you. Thank you, Renee, for your honesty and time spent helping me get the book ready. Thank you for pushing me when I needed it and making sure I did my best work, especially when it became overwhelming.
Thank you to the team at eBook Launch for your formatting expertise and cover designs. It’s always effortless working with you guys!
Thank you to all the lovely ladies I work with for your support and enthusiasm. A special thank you to Hope, for helping me with the launch party for this book! I would not have been able to organize that myself.
Thank you to all my loyal readers and welcome to all my new ones. I hope this book lives up to expectation!
Thank you, God, for the mind I have and the life that I live.
BOOK ONE
Read On…
Introduction
Change.
It’s a constant in a werewolf’s life.
Well, you could say it’s a constant for anybody really, but a werewolf would experience it more frequently. From the moment they’re born they are evolving and growing, rapidly adjusting sharing their mind with a volatile creature.
A werewolf will share its mind with its shifter side from the moment he or she turns eleven. They feel their wolf’s primal instincts and can eventually be trained into understanding them fully and being able to converse both in wolf and human form.
This takes a lot of time and training and if your wolf doesn’t show up in your head when you reach eleven you aren’t to partake in any training. Eleven is a milestone year, it’s a year parents fear their children aren’t like those around them, and a year when children wonder if they’ve been gifted a wolf by the Moon Goddess.
If all goes well at age eleven, then the age of fifteen is the next big one. The wolf in their mind now has the ability to shift, taking over your human side and taking on the physical form of a wolf.
The wolf is a volatile and jealous creature. The change for a young shifter is like puberty for humans only with more mood swings. The wolf that has been trapped inside their humans mind is now able to run free. A young wolf will anger easily and with the right amount of coaxing or bating can push any young wolf over the edge to shift.
A young wolf is a dangerous wolf.
It’s at this stage the werewolf/human gains all the cool abilities such as healing super quickly, excellent hearing and brilliant sense of smell to say the least. They would also gain some massive amounts of strength and speed.
The third major change in a wolf’s life is their biggest, because it changes the whole course of their future and the makeup of their personality. This change can either make you or break you as a being.
This next step is where they find their soulmate. This usually occurs around the age of eighteen but some wolves have been known to only find their mates much later on in life, simply because their wolf was stronger than their human side. The mate would help balance the other and create a stronger wolf in each of them.
A wolf is able to find its mate just by a scent. It’s usually confirmed by looking into the others eyes but a scent is usually the first giveaway. It’s enticing and it clouds your mind in such a way that it only really mellows out once the two mark each other.
Like humans wolves have their own God—Goddess correctly put.
The ultimate Luna.
According to the stories, the Moon Goddess was a witch—she created the first wolf. He was powerful and strong, the perfect Alpha, however his temper and lack of control over the beast within him drove him to the brink of madness.
The Moon Goddess knew that he would not survive without another by his side. Splitting his being in two she sent the other half of him into the universe, and the magnetic pull of the two souls would eventually drag them together. If a wolf wanted to feel whole, they had to control their beast, or live a half-life.
Each supernatural culture has their own story and name for the Moon Goddess. She was the same being—still the most famous witch who created different magical beings. For Vampires she was known as the Great Mother, for Merfolk she was the Siren. To witches, she was Morgana and I believe that was her actual name. For the Lycan’s she was a symbol that was held so reverently you’d never blaspheme of her in their presence. A Lycan is the ultimate werewolf; they’re stronger than your regular wolf—much stronger. They don’t live in large packs, just usually in small close groups. They never shifted into a full wolf; they looked like every terrifying Halloween werewolf you’d ever seen. You’d never mess with a Lycan.
I’m not really a wolf but I’m not really a human, I’m somewhere in the middle which isn’t fun, especially in one of the most blood purity conscious packs in the United States.
The only reason I’m talking about this is because I’m just a year off turning eighteen—and I have no wolf physically or in my mind, which further strengthens the pack view that I shouldn’t be here. Half-breed mutt is what they called me.
An apt name considering that’s technically what I am. I didn’t get the wolf in my mind at eleven, or the physical wolf at fifteen so the chances of me getting the mate at age of eighteen were not high. I still had a year to prove myself. I doubted any miracles would occur.
My mother—who is mated and married to the pack Beta, Michael—had been buying me as much time as she possibly could. Maybe I was a late bloomer—heck it happened, but if by the time of eighteen you showed no signs…I knew what would be coming for me and she couldn’t protect me forever.
My half siblings were fifteen now and were in the training group with their wolves. They didn’t associate with me, not like they used to before they knew about pack prejudices.
Michael despised me, not because I was a half-breed, well I’m sure that was part of the reason, but he really hated me because of how I was conceived.
My mother had been raped when she was seventeen and I was the result.
The only thing that confused people was what had been strong enough to subdue her wolf for the attack to happen. Whatever it was had been classed as evil which of course in turn, made me evil. Werewolves are strong, almost up there with the same strength as a vampire—yet I showed no vampire traits.
But I could do things…only recently anyway. Maybe they had been flukes, like closing my eyes when I wanted the sensor light to turn off—it felt too early but maybe it hadn’t. The dead plant I walked past in Miss Jones’ garden the other day and I’d felt sad about it, when I came home it was alive again.
No one knew that I was doing—or wasn’t doing—this stuff.
Aside from the weird things I could do—or couldn’t do—I did get some werewolf traits. For instance, I was fast. I could run like the wind. My vision was slightly better than a humans but not by much and my hearing was alright but it was nothing to brag about.
But I was still strange.
No one understood what I was so I couldn’t be accepted.
I didn’t want to be, not here anyway.
This was fine because once the school year finished I would be exiled from the pack and all contact from my family would be off limits. I didn’t mind being exiled so much, the only thing I minded was never seeing my mo
ther again.
The whole course of my life she has protected me, or at least done her best. She couldn’t shield me from every beating or abuse I suffered from these people. I stopped going out alone altogether just to survive and get out of here in one piece.
I have nothing but horrible memories of this place and to see the back of it would be the best thing to ever happen to me.
Chapter One
I felt like I was drowning, my hair was wrapping around my neck and going into my mouth, along with the water that was choking down the back of my throat and up my nose and into my eyes. I could feel the hands on my head and shoulders that pushed me further into the porcelain bowl and I wondered if death was a better alternative than receiving my weekly swirly.
Finally the flushing stopped and the pressure on my shoulders left as my attackers vacated the bathroom, letting the toilet lid smack onto my head. I ended up heaving my breakfast into the bowl, discoloring the water and I was glad they weren’t here to shove my face in it.
It had happened before.
Getting up I stumbled toward the sinks, washing my face the best I could, but the smell of toilet water would be stuck on me all day. I can’t believe people buy perfume that smells like this. I hovered under the hand dryer for the whole first period until all the remnants of the water vanished and I stumbled into the hallway as all the classes emptied, following the sound of the siren.
I watched as people either thudded or trotted through the halls, laughing and slamming lockers. The girls wore their nicest clothes and cute little bags as they flicked their hair and paraded about like some bad teenage sitcom.
I didn’t dress like them—it would bring way too much attention to me from the wolves if I did. Seeing as they were very visual creatures if I dolled up it would be like painting a big bright red target on myself saying, ‘come here guys and beat me up’, no thanks. I made sure I didn’t under dress either, that would still bring me attention from the humans and the last thing I needed was them on my back as well.
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