The twins, dressed and relatively awake, slurped down their breakfast. As they ate, I brushed and styled their hair and gobbled down a cup of coffee and a handful of dry cereal. One day, I’d have myself together and would be able to wake them up and eat breakfast without rushing. But it wasn’t today.
As I herded them out the door, I tossed my Mom a, “Have a good day, Mom. They’ll be home at three-twenty after school. My shift will be over tomorrow morning around eight if it doesn’t hold over.”
Mom waved a hand, and we hurried out.
It was the kind of night that never seemed to end.
And that was on a regular shift.
Add in the recent heartbreak, and I wanted to lie down in front of the ambulance and let my partner Josh run me over—then back up and do it again. I huddled in the corner of the station and plugged in my headphones to listen to an audiobook, hoping to pass the time without any more interruptions. There’d been nonstop calls since I had clocked in, but not the exciting, heart-pumping kind. It had been the menial, headache-inducing kind instead.
Not that I minded, really. It was better than being stuck at home with my thoughts.
I was damned if I was home, damned if I wasn’t.
Frowning at myself, I tried to focus on the words. Audiobooks helped pass the time when there was nothing else to do. Throughout the night, we’d had several transfers and a couple of regular patients—nursing home residents, elderly people with chest pains, the usual. Now, it was nearing nine at night. I’d finally finished the last transfer and was hoping there wouldn’t be any other calls so I could relax for a few hours and maybe catch a good night’s sleep before I had to be home with the twins.
Trying to focus was useless.
The voice in my ear was a buzzing drone. I couldn’t focus on the words, let alone derive meaning from them. All I could do was check my phone every five minutes, bouncing between hope and sadness. It was pathetic.
Chris was still blocked on my phone and social media. I’d held fast there. But there was a part of me, however small, that thought that he would still reach out. Use someone else’s phone and text me. Try messaging me from a dummy Facebook or Instagram account.
Total idiot.
If he’d wanted to be with me, he would have made an effort to reach me.
Hope springs eternal, I guess.
I started to doze off, my half-unconscious dreams plagued by images of Chris alternately apologizing and laughing in my face. When my phone began to ring, I had almost convinced myself it was him calling to apologize.
Except I didn’t recognize the number on my display. Rubbing at my eyes, I answered, thinking it was probably Mom calling for some emergency or another.
“Hello?” I winced at the sound of my sleep-rusty voice.
“Hi, is this Ember? Ember Stevens?”
I cleared my throat. “Yes, this is she.”
Well, at least it wasn’t my mother. Knowing that didn’t help the anxiety in my stomach.
“Hi, this is your neighbor from across the hall, Lennox Marquette.”
“Hey, Lennox. Is everything okay?”
I’d seen Lennox on occasion in passing. I knew she was working on her master’s at FSU and spent most of her time with her nose buried in books. If she was calling, it couldn’t be good. The only reason she’d get in touch was if there was some sort of emergency.
“Actually, I hate to call, but I heard crying coming from your apartment. When I went to knock on the door, your sisters answered.” I sat straight up, adrenaline pumping through my veins. My first overwhelming thought was that my Mom had had a heart attack and the twins were alone with her dead body. Then Lennox continued, “They told me your mother had left them all alone.”
“She what?” I whispered faintly. It should have been a relief that she wasn’t dead, but this was somehow worse.
“I’m sorry, Ember, that’s what they said. I was able to get your phone number from the contacts list taped to your fridge. I hope you don’t mind me going in your apartment.”
I pushed a hand through my sleep-matted hair. I could hear the girls chattering in the background. At least they sounded normal. “Of course not. My mother wasn’t there?”
Was I hearing her wrong? I knew my mother wasn’t the best in the world, but she’d never deliberately put the twins in danger.
“I checked everywhere. They said she told them to watch TV and she’d be back later, but that was hours ago. They got scared when it got dark.”
Lennox offered to watch the kids until I could schedule coverage for work. Thankfully, my captain was understanding and called in a favor. I’d have to work a double shift next week, but I couldn’t focus on anything but getting home to the girls.
I tried calling my dad, who was rarely home as it was, but he didn’t answer.
The first real threads of fear wove through my chest on the drive back to my apartment.
What if they’d left for good?
Chapter Four
Tripp
This was my last chance and I was going to kick ass.
Or at least that’s what I told myself after eight hours of practice and classes.
Muscles sore and protesting, I heaved myself from my car in the parking lot of my apartment complex. With the heavy weight of my gym bag thrown over my shoulder, the trek from my car to the elevator felt like an eternity. All I wanted was a big bottle of ice-cold water, a hot shower, and about a century of sleep.
I aimed to do just that—and I would have if I hadn’t heard the quiet sobs coming from behind the apartment door next to mine. It was so out of place that I froze with my key raised to my door. The last time I could remember hearing Ember like this was the day we met when she had the twins. Of course, the twins cried from time to time, but theirs was more of a high-pitched wail than the soft, heart-wrenching cries I heard now.
It had to be Ember.
The thought didn’t quite compute. She was a rock. She put up with more than I thought physically possible. I thought I had it hard with my constant practices, workouts, and training, but that was nothing compared to working, going to school, and taking care of two kids with deadbeat parents.
She was like Superwoman.
I knocked on her door after a pause. Maybe she wouldn’t want me butting my nose in. She probably wanted to be alone. I would check on her to make sure she was okay, and then I’d bounce if she wanted me to go.
I immediately knew when she opened the door that she wasn’t okay.
Not in the slightest.
I had to hold myself back to keep from pulling her into my arms.
It wasn’t the red rims around her eyes or the smeared mascara that gave it away—at least not for me. I’d known Ember long enough to get used to her moods. She was either balls-to-the-wall full of energy or she was sleeping. I spent half the time we hung out just trying to keep up with her—and I was supposed to be a star athlete for fuck’s sake. It was how wrung-out she looked that clued me in. Like she simply didn’t have anything left to give.
After dropping my bag inside her front door, I closed it behind me. She had her arms wrapped around her waist, and, as much as I wanted to pull her close and comfort her, I knew it wasn’t the right time. So, I shoved my hands into my pockets instead. “What's wrong? Is it your parents?”
She shook her head but wouldn’t meet my eyes as we sat on her worn couch. I tipped her chin up with a finger. “Em, tell me what’s wrong, angel.”
As long as I’d known her, Ember had been a rock. Immovable. Unbreakable. I’d never seen her crack.
Until now.
And it made me want to do whatever I could to make her feel better.
Tears shimmered in her eyes, and then she cleared her throat, her shoulders lifting as she sucked in a deep breath. “It’s everything. My parents, pulling more shit. I had to take off from work when I really needed the hours. Chris broke up with me. He’s seeing someone else.”
“Broke up?” It didn’t quite
penetrate. He had Ember. Why would he need anyone else? “You’re kidding. What happened with your parents?”
I didn’t want to touch the conversation about her boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—with a ten-foot pole. Didn’t want to open that can of worms. It had taken a long time to get over her—or at least get to a place where I wasn’t thinking about her constantly.
Thankfully, she kept me from making a complete jackass out of myself. She was clearly hurting. Now was not the time to make any sort of move on her. No matter how much I wanted to.
“God, Tripp, I don’t mean to blubber all over you like this. I’m sorry. You look exhausted. You should go get some sleep.”
She made to move away, but I hooked her arm. “No, c’mon. Tell me what’s going on. I’ve got time.” Time for you echoed in my head, unsaid.
Ember wiped at her nose. I was a piece of scum for noticing how beautiful her eyes were, even when she was crying. “Are you sure?”
It was the hopeful upturn in her voice that had me nudging her shoulder with my own. “I wouldn’t say so if I wasn’t.”
She sighed heavily, and I was struck, as I always was, by how quiet the apartment was without her mother’s soap operas blaring or her father shouting demands from his place on the couch. The twins were mute in comparison to their parents.
Ember started recounting what had happened with Chris. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard her complain about him, and I wasn’t entirely convinced it would be the last. I’d been keeping my feelings about the asshole to myself as long as they’d been dating. It wasn’t my business. She was a big girl and could make her own decisions. But it burned me to hear how easily he’d squandered his chance with her. It only confirmed that he didn’t deserve her.
Not that I did, either, but that was beside the point.
“I wouldn’t be such a wreck right now if I hadn’t gotten a phone call from my neighbor saying Mom had split. I tried getting a hold of her, but her cell is out of service, and Dad is naturally nowhere to be found. She left the twins at home, hysterical and terrified. It took me forever to calm them down. We had a million calls last night, and all I want is a long, hot shower and a four-hour nap, but she dropped this in my lap. Trade parents with me?” she pleaded.
If I could, I would in a heartbeat. My parents were about as boring and kind-hearted as anyone could hope for. They’d supported and encouraged my dream to become a baseball player my whole life. Married for thirty-four years, they were the epitome of stability and understanding. The complete opposite of Ember’s.
I couldn’t imagine growing up the way she had, essentially raising herself and then caring for twin sisters when she should have been enjoying her life. It made me admire her all the more for her determination and will. Instead of following her own dreams, she’d gotten a job straight out of high school to support her family, first as an aid at the hospital and then working nights while she went to school to become an EMT, all while helping to care for her sisters.
I’d never had to deal with anything like that on my own. My parents were always in my corner, cheering me on and supporting me. Ember, on the other hand, had always had to support herself.
Knowing her kitchen almost as well as my own, I decided it was time for someone to take care of her for a change. “Don’t move,” I ordered and went to make her a drink. “What about your dad?”
She sighed heavily. “I tried calling him after she hung up on me, but he didn’t answer. Naturally. Sometimes I wish they’d disappear. Then, it wouldn’t be this constant back-and-forth rollercoaster all the time.” Her head drooped, and she studied her hands in her lap. “That’s a terrible thing for me to say, I know.”
I made a tall glass of iced tea and sat the glass in front of her on the coffee table. “I won’t tell anyone. Besides, what they do to you isn’t fair. I’d say you’re allowed to talk shit every once in a while. What are you going to do?”
With her schedule of a twenty-four-hour shift every third day, Ember normally watched her sisters on her day off, and one of her parents would watch the twins after school on the days that she worked. It hadn’t been easy for her to convince them to do that. I remember the blowup. They had wanted her to work, but they hadn’t wanted her work to take away from her watching her sisters either. I had been able to hear it all because my apartment was right next to hers. In fact, we shared a bedroom wall. I had heard them yelling at her for hours that night.
With both of her parents gone, it would mean she had no one to watch them on her over-nights.
“What about my parents?” I offered as the thought popped into my head.
My mother was a retired grade-school teacher, and my father owned a home improvement store. We’d been trying to convince him to let someone else take over, but he was determined to work until he had one foot in the grave. These days, my mother spent a lot of her time working with education-based charities or tending her award-winning flower garden.
Ember drained the glass of tea and then shook her head. “No, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out. I can find the money for a babysitter or daycare somewhere. Do they even have those overnight?”
“I’m serious. Mom isn’t working. She has a lot of free time. I’m sure if I asked, she wouldn’t mind. In fact, this might be perfect.” Before she could object, I said, “At least let me ask her before you say no.”
Her eyes were no longer red from tears, but there were dark blue smudges underneath them. Strands of flame-colored hair fluttered around her neck and shoulders where it had come out of her messy bun. The shapeless, almost tactical, pants and faded, dark-blue shirt emblazoned with her station number did nothing to showcase the bombshell figure underneath.
But I’d never found her so sexy.
“. . . but I don’t want to make it a permanent situation,” she was saying. I forced myself to tune back into the conversation. “You can ask them, but don’t make them feel obligated. In the meantime, I’ll try to make more permanent arrangements.”
“I’ll call them after I finish practice, but I promise they won’t mind. They like you better than they like me, remember?”
This made her laugh. “Shut up. Your parents love you. It’s almost hard to watch. Every time you come home, it’s like you haven’t been home in years. King Tripp,” she teased, then glanced at her phone and cursed. “It’s so late. I shouldn’t have kept you here for so long. You need to sleep. Thank you for helping me, but now you need to get going.” Ember got to her feet and pulled me to mine, shoving me to the door.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I can call Coach Taylor tomorrow and tell him I’m sick or something. Probably the flu from one of the brats.”
Ember laughed. “I’ll make sure to tell them you said that.”
My heart eased at seeing the smile, however brief, flirt across her lips. “I’ll stop by after practice tomorrow to check on you guys.”
“You don’t have to do that. We’re fine. My parents have gone on benders before. It was a lot of things at once, and, apparently, I need to take a nap before I break down and cry on anybody else.”
I reached up and tugged on a loose lock of her hair, causing her to smack my hand away. “You can cry on me anytime,” I said.
I thought about her when I went to sleep in my room that shared a wall with hers. Which wasn’t new. I thought about her all the time.
It wasn’t really a secret, either.
Which somehow made it even worse.
Chapter Five
Ember
“When is Mommy coming home?” Molly asked.
How was it that children could be so innocent and so intuitive at the same time?
I decided the best course of action was honesty. The girls knew what our parents were like, and I felt that they didn’t need another adult in their lives who lied to them. Of course, I didn’t know if telling them the truth was the proper course of action, but I was doing my best.
“I don’t know, sugar bean. She…had so
me plans, and they must have taken longer than she anticipated. But don’t worry, we’ll do something fun today to pass the time.”
Explaining it to them when she didn’t come back tomorrow or the day after or the day after that would be a little more difficult.
Tillie shared a look with her sister. “What about Daddy? He didn’t come home last night either.”
They were too smart for their own good. I knew it, and yet sometimes I took how much they absorbed for granted. Kneeling down, I cupped both of their cheeks.
“Babies, this is one time I won’t have all of the answers for you. Sometimes grownups make mistakes. Sometimes they disappoint you and do the wrong thing. Mommy and Daddy aren’t making very good choices right now, but I don’t want you to worry. No matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right?”
Their eyes watered, and I pulled them close, my heart aching for them.
“Do they not love us anymore?” Molly asked, her voice wobbly. Tillie sniffled in my ear on the other side.
My heart broke into tiny little pieces. No child should ever have a reason to ask such a question. I held them tighter. “Of course they still love you. Who wouldn’t?”
“Then why would they leave us?” Tillie asked. “Were we being bad?”
I would have gladly ripped my parents to shreds as I listened to the twins’ questions and allayed their fears. It had never bothered me how inattentive and downright negligent our parents were when I was growing up. I hadn’t known any different.
“This isn’t about you,” I said firmly. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t want to hear you say that again. You two are perfect. I don’t ever want to hear you thinking it’s your fault again.”
Friends with Benefits (Friend Zone Series Book 3) Page 3