“I know you want to come. But you have to get ready for your game tomorrow. I’ll be fine, I promise. Besides, you’re coming with me to your parents’ after.”
He sulked about it for a while but finally agreed to let me go to the first doctor’s appointment the next day alone. I knew he wanted to be there like he said, but I was adamant he not jeopardize his future. Besides, it was just a blood test to confirm the pregnancy and then remove my IUD. I could handle that. The important part was that he understood I wanted him to be there and that I’d let him take care of me when it mattered.
I was used to hospitals, doctors, and the scent of bleach and antibacterial spray. I’d spent about a quarter of my life in hospitals, sometimes with patients who were so close to death it was like I could feel death’s presence hovering over my shoulder, daring me to fail at my job. But when it was me as the patient? Hell no. I’d rather be on my deathbed at home, please and thank you.
The nurse walked me back to the room and had me change into a paper gown. They took urine and blood samples to confirm the pregnancy and asked details about my last period and history. Pretty standard routine, like I’d expected.
They explained the risks associated with the IUD removal, which I already knew. But the risks of keeping the IUD in were worse. The experience was a little painful, but not as bad as I’d anticipated.
“Take it easy for a few days,” they advised. “And come in if you experience any significant pain or prolonged bleeding.”
I was in and out in a little over an hour and felt immediately relieved when it was all over. Everything was going to be okay. Like the life blooming inside me, I allowed a little bit of hope to take root that everything would be okay.
I wondered if he could tell that things had changed between us. The words were on the tip of my tongue. I kept telling myself just to spit them out, but they wouldn’t come. What if my feelings were only because of hormones? I wanted to be certain before I said them to him.
Or maybe I wanted him to say them to me first so I wouldn’t look like a total fool if he didn’t reciprocate. Maybe I just needed to find it inside me to be brave. I had to be brave, take a chance.
He held my hand all the way from the hospital to his parents, who were watching the girls while I was at the appointment and Tripp was at practice. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to repay the Wilder family for their generosity.
“You feeling okay?” he asked.
“A little achy, but otherwise, I’m fine. Like I was five minutes ago.” I squeezed his hand to show I was teasing. It was honestly cute how concerned he was. He would be a good dad. My heart twinged, imagining him holding a tiny newborn. Damn hormones. If I wasn’t already pregnant, I sure as hell would enjoy trying to get that way.
“When do you think we should tell my parents?”
My smile fell a little. That was something I’d been worrying over. I knew they’d be ecstatic, but there was still a little part of me that was worried they wouldn’t approve of me as “the one” for their son. He was so wonderful in every way, and I was just...me. I wasn’t going to be a big star. I didn’t have huge plans with my life other than surviving day-to-day. Tripp should be with someone as special as he was.
“Let’s tell them once we’re past the first trimester,” I said. Maybe by then, I’d come to terms with how much everything had changed. Maybe by then, I’d have the courage to tell him I loved him.
“Sounds good to me. They’re going to be so excited.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. They love you, and they already consider Molly and Tillie to be their granddaughters. They’ll be ecstatic to add another to the brood.”
“They won’t be disappointed? Like, we’re not really in a relationship, and we’re not married or settled. I’m almost done with my paramedic certification, but you’re just starting your career.”
He put his finger over my lips after he parked in their driveway. “Labels don’t matter to me, but I know they do to you. I was afraid you’d walk away if I pushed, and I know what I stand to lose, but one of our rules is honesty, and I will always be honest with you.” My heart began to thud heavily in my chest. His blue-grey eyes bore into mine, and he took both of my hands in his. “I love you, Ember. I’ve loved you for years. I think you’ve known for a while now. Your girls are like my family. You are like my family. The only thing I want is to make you happy. Whether that’s as your boyfriend or, in the future, as your husband. I want to do this with you.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“I love you, too, Tripp. I was just too scared to say it. I want to be with you, too. Friends and benefits and all.”
“Then, c’mon, because Mom and I have a surprise for you.”
Another surprise? I didn’t think my emotions could take more happiness, but I followed him inside. Molly and Tillie were building an intricate structure out of Legos with Tripp’s father. We waved as Tripp pulled me into the kitchen, where his mother was baking something that smelled divine.
He gave his mom a kiss. “I told her we had a surprise for her.”
“Did you?” his mom said with a smile. “Well, I’d rather not keep you in suspense. Tripp’s father and I were talking, and we’d like to help you get custody of the girls. We know a family lawyer who is willing to help, and we’d like to pay their retainer.”
My mouth dropped open. I could barely breathe. “You can’t be serious.”
Tripp’s mother smiled. “Totally serious. We want to do this for you, and you know we adore the girls.”
“It’s—it’s too much. I can’t accept it. Thank you, but I can’t.”
“I told you she’d say that,” Tripp said to his mother. “We’ve been working on her accepting help from others, but she’s hardheaded.”
I smacked his arm. “It’s too much,” I repeated, unable to form coherent words. “I—I don’t know what to say.”
Things like this simply didn’t happen to me. I wasn’t a perpetual victim, but life had always been hard. I’d always had to fight for everything I wanted. Fight my parents to take care of me simply to survive. Fight them to go to school, then college. Fight them to do what was best for the girls. To have someone be so effortlessly generous...it simply didn’t compute. Was that why I’d given Tripp such a hard time for so long?
“Say you’ll at least think about it. We want to do this for you. If it makes you feel any better, you can consider it a loan and pay us back when you’re able, but you don’t have to.”
Mrs. Wilder punctuated her offer with a soft smile. Her salt-and-pepper hair was as perfect as ever, falling to her shoulders in a sleek, straight cascade. She looked as opposite of my mother as possible, and I ached for the loss of not having someone like her in my life—in the twins’ lives. Would I be depriving them of a mother like Mrs. Wilder if I did pursue custody? I had to admit, even if it was only to myself, the worry plagued me.
“I’ll think about it,” I told them, and they shared a smile. “I’ll have to talk to the girls because I think they should have a say.”
“Whatever you think is best, angel. We only want to help,” Tripp said.
Mrs. Wilder organized a consultation with a family attorney the following week. I switched shifts with another EMT so I could have a couple of days as a buffer to focus my thoughts. Butterflies took up permanent residence in my stomach, and they dove and swooped so often and so violently that I thought my ribs would crack from the pressure.
I was scared.
Ever since my parents had disappeared, I’d been running on instinct and fumes. Tripp had helped to distract me from the true force of my worries, but I couldn’t hide from my problems forever. And the twins deserved to have normalcy and security in their lives now more than ever. If I was so adamant that they have both, then I needed to put on my big girl panties and face it.
I wouldn’t become my mother. And the twins hadn’t hesitated in saying they wanted me to be their guardi
an when I talked to them about it.
That was the driving force behind agreeing to let Mr. and Mrs. Wilder front the retainer for the family lawyer. It would help secure their future, and that was all that mattered. If I needed to bear the brunt of my mother’s ire when she was served the papers, then so be it. I was done cowing to her demands. I had not only the twins but a baby to think about. None of us needed that toxicity in our lives.
The secretary led us back to a conference room after a short waiting period where my heart beat double-time, and Tripp had to hold my hand to keep me from flying out of the seat. I hadn’t yet started to experience morning sickness, but I was definitely feeling queasy from the nerves. The lawyer had a small practice that had a homey feeling, located in an historic-looking house, with the first floor serving as offices. After gesturing us into the conference room, the secretary left us to wait for another short period.
After a time, a woman in her mid-to-late forties appeared, her hands full of manila folders. “Good morning! My name is Tara Shultz,” she said brightly, shuffling the folders to shake our hands. “Thank you so much for your patience.”
She took a seat behind her desk, opened a file, and perched a pair of thin, wire-rimmed glasses on her nose. “Now, we’re here today to discuss custody of Matilda and Molly Stevens, aged six.” She glanced over her glasses to me. “You’d be their older sister, Ember?”
“Yes, I am,” I answered, my voice shaky. Tripp gripped my hand more tightly in his.
“Tell me about your parents. How long have they been gone?”
Then everything sort of seemed to spill forth—their negligence when I was growing up, how I’d supported the twins and my parents, and how they’d abandoned the girls.
“And have you spoken with your mother or father since they left?” she asked.
“I spoke to my mother the day she left. And she came back a few weeks ago and took the girls without warning. They were found abandoned at the mall the next day. The police took a report.”
Ms. Shultz took down the information and promised to get a copy of the police report. She explained that in order to receive custody, we’d have to prove both parents were unfit for custody in some way or have them waive their rights. It wouldn’t be hard to convince my father. He didn’t give a shit either way. It was my mother I was worried about. She was spiteful and vindictive and would fight ‘till the end simply because she could. The thought made my stomach ache.
After the visit to the lawyer, Tripp drove to pick up the girls, and we went home and watched cartoons until they passed out. The next morning was Tripp’s last game of the season—the one that would determine if they went to the championships or not.
He left before we woke up to head over to the field for warmups. I’d planned on getting the girls awake and dressed so we could go cheer him on, but all that changed in an instant.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Tripp
Sweat dripped down my brow, and I wiped it away with the back of my wrist. This was the last game of my senior year. My last chance to impress—shit, I didn’t even know who anymore. My last chance to wipe away the memory of my injury. We were playing a killer game and were in the lead 10-0, but I knew better than anyone that it could change in an instant. So I played hard, like my heart and life were on the line.
And maybe they were.
“Good fucking game, man,” Alex said, clapping me on the back as we entered the dugout.
“It’s not over yet.” I squirted water from my bottle over my head, but it didn’t do much to cool me down. The Florida heat was relentless. I could already feel a sunburn turning the skin at my neck tight and splotchy.
“The hell it isn’t. You haven’t given them a break all day. Your arm is on fire. I’ve never seen you pitch better.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you give so many compliments in a row.”
“Call me sentimental,” he answered, his eyes on our shortstop, who was at bat. “It’s our last game together. When I get signed next year, we could be playing on opposite sides of the country. We could even be playing against each other.”
“Scared? It’s okay. I’ll make sure I kick your ass quickly so it doesn’t sting so much to lose.”
He punched me in the arm, tossed his dark hair back, and slid his baseball cap over it. It always made the chicks who came to the games go crazy. “You wish. Don’t think I’ll take it easy on you if that day ever comes.”
“It will. Believe it. You’re almost as good as I am.”
“Asshole,” he said without heat. “Where’s your girl? I thought she was coming?”
Thinking the same thing, I scanned the crowd again for her face in the family seats. She and the girls weren’t in their normal spot next to my parents, and neither were Liam and Dash. I figured something must have come up with the girls, but a niggle of doubt and worry wormed itself into my stomach.
“I’m not sure. She was supposed to be here, but she may have had to take care of her sisters or something.”
We cheered as our shortstop hit a double, batting in the player on third and scoring us another point. “What’s going on with that?”
I lifted a shoulder. “It’s complicated.”
“You sound like a chick.”
“At least I’m getting laid,” I said, making him scowl.
“Douchebag.”
One of the assistant coaches came out of the hallway that led to the locker rooms. He made a beeline for Coach Taylor, who listened with an impassive expression as he observed the next player up at bat. His body went still as the assistant coach kept talking, gesturing wildly. Then Taylor’s gaze moved to me, and I stiffened.
Coach Taylor murmured to the assistant, his eyes still on me. The assistant coach nodded, and Coach Taylor started to cross the dugout to me. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. Coach Taylor was always focused on the game. Especially a game as important as the one that would lead us to the championships in Omaha.
“Wilder. A word?” I nodded and followed him to the hallway where the assistant had come from. “Listen, I’ll get straight to the point. Are you involved with a young woman named Ember Stevens?”
“Yes, sir,” I answered, fighting to keep my voice steady. Coach Taylor wouldn’t interrupt a game for any reason other than an emergency.
“There’s a Miss Charlie St. James here who says you need to go with her immediately. Ms. Stevens is in the hospital.”
My heart dropped to my feet along with my stomach. “The hospital,” I repeated faintly. The baby. Fuck. Something was wrong with the baby. I had to get to her. “I have to go to her. She’s pregnant,” I said without thinking.
Coach Taylor’s expression didn’t change, but the words that came out of his mouth were the last ones I expected. “Of course you do. Miss St. James is waiting at the ticket gate to take you to the hospital.”
“I’ll make sure he gets there,” Alex said. I hadn’t even realized he’d come with me.
“What about the game?” I asked, more out of habit than anything. I didn’t really give a fuck about the game.
“Go be with your girlfriend.” I didn’t correct him. “You’re young, but you’ll realize there’s more to life than baseball.” I never thought I’d hear him say those words. “Get going. You need to be with her.”
When I didn’t move, Alex took me by the arm and hauled me through the locker rooms and up the stairs to the main level of the complex where the concession stands, and ticket booths were located. It wasn’t as packed as it usually was before a game, but there were still people milling around getting refills on their sodas and popcorn who stopped and pointed at us as Alex propelled me toward the ticket booth. Charlie was there, pacing back and forth, still in her pale blue scrubs.
She turned toward us when she looked up, and I noticed, almost emotionlessly, that her face was bleached of color. She rushed forward. “I’m sorry for interrupting your game, but she’s asking for you, and I didn’t know what else to
do.”
“It’s alright.” To Alex, I said, “Thanks, man. You should get back.”
He started backing away, and his normal easy-going expression was grave. “Call me. Whatever time. I’ll be there.”
“I know. Go win for us.”
“You got it.”
Somehow, he must have grabbed my bag with my change of clothes from my locker when we went through the locker room because I found myself hauling it out of the complex to Charlie’s car. As I tossed it in the back seat, I managed to spit out the words I didn’t want to voice aloud for fear that it would make my worries an actuality. “What happened?”
The keys in Charlie’s hand rattled as she put them in the ignition. “The doctors think she’s having a miscarriage.”
“Is she alone?” I asked.
“Layla was with her. I volunteered to come get you.”
“How was she?”
Charlie swallowed hard. “She was in pain. They gave her some medication to help the pain and help her rest. They want to keep her overnight for observation. I got here as quick as I could.”
“Thank you.”
I was quiet for the rest of the drive to the hospital. The baby had only been alive for a few short weeks. I hadn’t even had time to properly wrap my thoughts around their existence. It didn’t seem fair for their life to end so suddenly. It hadn’t been planned, but they had been wanted, and they were already loved.
Charlie drove into the emergency room parking lot at the hospital and stopped under the awning for me to get out of the car while she parked. I signed in at the front desk and followed one of the nurses back into the maternity ward on autopilot. When they stopped at her room, it took me a minute to work up the nerve to open the door, afraid of what I’d find on the other side.
Layla looked up from where she was sitting beside the hospital bed. Both of her hands were wrapped around one of Ember’s. The other was hooked up to a bunch of wires and tubes. She looked incredibly small in the large bed. Her eyes were closed, and her chest rose rhythmically in sleep.
Friends with Benefits (Friend Zone Series Book 3) Page 16