“Yes, ma’am.”
“In fact!” Mrs. Nelson lifted her hand. “He even has theories. He knew Xander was the baby’s dad two weeks before it was revealed!”
“Oh.” Sasha was smiling and nodding, and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
As a private person, standing silently while someone told your life story to a perfect stranger was not the most comfortable thing in the world. A week ago, I would’ve been a lot more upset about it.
“Isn’t my granddaughter beautiful, Holden?”
Sasha’s eyes cut to her grandma and I had a feeling I wasn’t the only one that was uncomfortable.
“Yes, she is.” I smiled.
“Sasha just found out her boyfriend, the actor that plays Xander and Trent is cheating on her with the actress that plays the nurse, in real life. Talk about art imitating life.”
Sasha looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up. That explained the red-rimmed eyes.
“I would set you two up”—Mrs. Nelson waved her hand between us—“but Holden here just started shackin’ up with our yoga instructor.”
And that was my cue to go.
“I would love to stay and chat with you ladies, but I have a best man errand that I need to run before the ceremony.”
“Go!” Mrs. Nelson shooed me away. “What are you doin’ standin’ around flappin’ your jaws?”
I couldn’t help but smile. “It was nice to meet you, Sasha.”
She lifted her hand in a half-hearted wave. “You, too.”
As I walked back to my truck, I checked the time. Bentley was due to be here any minute. I shot him a quick text letting him know that I forgot the ring at home and I’d be right back.
It wasn’t a lie. I had forgotten the ring at home, just not his ring.
Chapter 33
Olivia
“You’re always one decision away from a totally different life.”
~ Maggie Calhoun
Holden had tried to get my attention the entire wedding ceremony. He hadn’t even been paying attention when they asked for the ring. And then he’d been so flustered he’d reached into one pocket and pulled something out but then snatched it back before Bentley took it, and then pulled the ring out of his other pocket. The guests found it funny, but to me it was just a reminder that his life had gotten turned upside down the night before when his ex-girlfriend showed up at his doorstep pregnant.
After the pastor announced—“I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Calhoun”—I’d taken his arm and we’d followed behind the bride and groom down the aisle. As soon as we got into the foyer, Holden tried to pull me into the children’s church room because he said we needed to talk.
I’d pulled away from him and made an excuse about needing to go grab the photographer to make sure he was getting the shots Maisy wanted. He’d let me go, but he hadn’t looked happy about it.
Now, we were two hours into the reception and somehow, I’d managed to avoid him. I’d basically shadowed the wait staff, pretending to keep an eye on things and stayed close to the bride and other buffers like Melody and Madison who were really tying one on. I’d thought that they might have been upset because I’d been MOH, but it turns out they were just upset because now both Delilah and Maisy were married and they were “terminally single.”
If it was any other day, I would have had words of encouragement for them. Even before Holden and I got together, I believed in my soulmate and true love and going out and finding them. I would have pep talked them right of the single cliff.
But not today. Today I was doing everything I could not to think about true love and soulmates. Which was made exponentially more difficult since I was maid of honor at a wedding and the best man was my true love and soulmate.
I wasn’t afraid to talk to him because I thought he’d cheated on me last night or even that he’d got back together with Luciana. I knew that Holden loved me, which made what I was going to have to do that much harder. I knew that I’d have to tell him to try with her. For the baby. Every baby deserved two parents that loved them at home raising them. I would never stand in the way of that, even for Holden.
And even if I didn’t, even if we stayed together, what was to say the two of them wouldn’t grow close again bonding over having a baby together. I couldn’t blame them if they did. It’s a magical experience.
I’d stayed up all night thinking about it and I just didn’t see any options where Holden and I still had our happily-ever-after.
“May I have this dance, young lady?”
I looked up and saw Mr. Rogers offering me his arm. I was relieved that it was him. Up to now, I’d been so diligently keeping an eye on Holden so I could avoid him, but I think the zero sleep was catching up with me and I’d been zoning out.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed that I would be relieved for someone to rescue me from Holden; when for so many years I’d imagined him coming back and swooping me off my feet. But that is exactly what I felt now.
“I’d love to.” I smiled widely and took Mr. Rogers’ arm.
We began to move across the dance floor and Mr. Rogers cleared his throat. “So, I heard you and Holden are going steady.”
I felt tears begin to pool in my eyes, but I blinked them back.
“Boy, that young man can’t take his eyes off of you.”
I glanced over my shoulder and sure enough, Holden was posted up against the wall staring at me. He looked so handsome in his suit. I wished so badly it was him that I was dancing with. But I knew that there was no way I’d be able to put on a brave face with him. I might be able to fool other people, but he would know something was wrong with me.
Mr. Rogers spun me out and pulled me back. He’d taken ballroom dance at the studio for years now. “You know, I’ve had my eye on someone for quite a while.”
“Really?” I faked ignorance.
Everyone knew that Mr. Rogers was sweet on Mrs. Dixie Rose Porter. It wasn’t a secret. He’d made it pretty obvious.
“I know the look of a man in love, and our young Holden has that look.”
My smile was tight as I sniffed back the tears that were threatening to fall down my cheek. This was one of the reasons I’d agreed to keep things private between us when we’d just been hooking up. The fallout from everyone knowing your business when you broke up in a small town, was catastrophic.
This day could not get over fast enough. We were at the finish line, I just needed to make it through the cake cutting and garter throwing and then I could fade into the background and go home.
I’d been so excited to finally have a date for a wedding. And not just any date, a boyfriend. And not just any boyfriend, the love of my life. And not just any wedding, a wedding that I was the MOH and he was the best man. It was my rom-com fantasy come to life.
Now, as I danced with Mr. Rogers waxing poetic about how much Holden loved me, I felt like I was living a rom-com nightmare.
When the song ended, I thanked Mr. Rogers for the dance and was walking off the dance floor when I looked up and saw that Holden was standing in front of me and he wasn’t holding his cane. I hated to admit this, but it had been easier getting away from him because he was moving slow.
He smiled down at me and held out his hand, “Can I have this dance?”
“Um, no I need to go check on the—” I gasped as my feet flew out from under me as he picked me up, just like he had the second time we’d had sex when he carried me upstairs.
My arms flew around his neck. “What are you doing?”
“I’m making your fantasy come true.”
“But your back!”
“It’s fine.” He was heading outside with the look of a man on a mission.
There were a few wolf whistles, and cat calls as we made our way through the crowd.
“Put me down!” I pleaded. I thought about squirming, but I was scared I would injure him.
“No,” he said it in a way that left no room for argument.
I hated to admit it but hearing the authority in his voice was really hot. But then again, most things he did were really hot. That’s a big part of why I’d fallen in love with him.
He pushed the doors open with his shoulder and didn’t stop until we were behind the building in a spot that teenagers frequented to make out and smoke weed. I was actually surprised there weren’t any there now.
When he set me down, I was a little breathless. I hoped that this wasn’t going to be another hyperventilating episode because I didn’t have Channing to comfort me.
“What is going on with you today?” He stood with his feet shoulder distance apart and crossed his arms. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
“Can we please talk about this tomorrow? I really don’t want to get into it.”
“No,” his answer was short and to the point.
“I don’t want to get upset.”
His eyes softened when he heard the tremor in my voice.
I dropped my chin and looked down at the ground so he wouldn’t see them getting watery. He reached up and lifted my chin with his hand. “Why would you get upset?”
I didn’t know if it was because I was sleep deprived, or I felt secluded, or if it was just because I’d had this information in me and I hadn’t been able to tell anyone but I blurted out, “I know about the baby.”
He stared at me for a second and asked, “The baby?”
Was he really going to play dumb? “Yes. Luciana’s baby.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“How are you so calm about this?” I heard my voice getting louder, which was exactly why I didn’t want to have this discussion tonight. Here.
“Wait…What do you think you know?”
“After you texted that you were going to be calling it a night, I left the bachelorette party to go pick up Channing. I wanted to surprise you and maybe, you know fool around. When I got there, there was a woman on the porch. I heard her talking on her phone saying that she had texted you and you were coming home. That’s when I realized it was Luciana. I rushed inside because I didn’t know what to do.” I sniffed as a large lump formed in my throat. “And then you came home and I heard you guys talking outside. I heard her tell you that she is pregnant.” A tear slid down my cheek and he wiped it.
“It’s not mine. Her new boyfriend is the father. She’s just been wanting to talk to me because we’ve been friends for years and honestly, I think in the crowd she runs in I’m the most normal person she knows. She was worried that she was going to end up being a single mom and wanted to know what I thought about it.”
“It’s not yours.” I knew that he’d explained it wasn’t, I just needed to say it out loud so I could hear it.
He smiled. “No. I texted you last night to let you know that she was in town and she was going to stay the night, but you didn’t call me back. I crashed at your place and let her stay at mine,” he clarified. “And I’ve been trying to call you all day and you kept sending me to voicemail. I even tried to see you before the wedding but Melody or Madison wouldn’t let me in.”
“I thought you were going to tell me that Luciana was having your baby and I didn’t want to have that conversation until after the wedding.”
“If we’re gonna do this, you can’t hide from me. You have to talk to me. You have to tell me what’s going on,” he smiled as he repeated verbatim what I’d told him on the couch.
I laughed and swatted at his arm.
He grabbed my hand and held it to his chest. His smile dropped as he stared into my eyes. “But seriously, I can’t go through what I went through today again. It was killing me not being able to talk to you. I didn’t know what was wrong. I couldn’t even get you to look at me. I know you had reasons, and they were good reasons, but please don’t shut me out like that.”
“Okay.”
“Promise?” he asked as he squeezed my hand, the same way I’d squeezed another part of his anatomy.
“While you’re in an agreeable mood, there’s something else I’ve been wanting to ask you.”
He dropped my hand and my breath caught, was he going to ask me to…?
When he pulled out his wallet, I almost laughed that that’s where my mind had gone. I was going to tell him what I’d thought, when he pulled out a folded up notebook paper, my heart stopped. “Is that…?”
“Yes. This is a letter that you wrote to me fourteen years ago. I found it in my bag and read it the night before I left to go on my first international circuit. And I’ve read it thousands of times since then.”
“You have?” I couldn’t believe that he’d not only got it but that he’d kept it.
“Yes. But it wasn’t anything I didn’t know. I always knew how you felt about me, and to be honest, I felt the same way.” He took a deep breath. “The reason I stopped talking to you in middle school was because when I saw you that first day of eighth grade I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. My palms got sweaty. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.”
“It did?”
“Yep, and I popped a boner, but you know that happens around you a lot.”
Knowing that he still had the letter was one thing, hearing all this was… I didn’t even know what to say.
“That’s why I stayed away from you. I couldn’t even be in the same room as you.”
“But if you liked me, why didn’t you…?”
“I didn’t just like you, I loved you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I couldn’t. I thought for a long time that I didn’t tell you how I felt because I was protecting you, and maybe part of me was. I knew that I couldn’t stay in this town and I didn’t want to hurt you by leaving. I was selfish and I wanted my career.”
“That’s not selfish. You were a kid.”
“Yeah, but then I grew up. And I think the real reason that I didn’t say anything all those years was not that I was scared to hurt you, it was because I was scared that if I did tell you how I felt, if I did kiss you and make love to you, then I wouldn’t have left. I would have given up my career to be with you.”
I shook my head, “I don’t think that would’ve happened.”
“We’ll never know. When I came back home, I tried to stay away from you again because I’m broken and damaged—”
“You are not”
“I know that now. You showed me that. But I’m just telling you how I felt. I thought that you deserved better than a washed-up cowboy that knew you loved him for years and was too chicken shit to do anything about it.”
“Well, when you put it like that…” I teased but he didn’t smile. “Why are you telling me all this?”
“Because, just like I wanted you to know that I’d watched you doing naked yoga before we had sex. I wanted you to know all the facts before I ask you…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful solitaire diamond ring. I gasped as tears filled my eyes to the brim. “Olivia Calhoun, to me you are perfect in an infinite amount of ways, and I don’t deserve you, but I love you. You are the only woman I’ve ever loved. I don’t deserve you, but I’m a hell of a lot better than the nose picker.”
I laughed as I wiped my eyes. “He had an itch.”
Holden smiled but then grew serious again. “I can’t give us back all the years that I wasted, but I can promise you that I will do everything I can to make you happy every second of every minute of every day for the rest of our lives if you’ll let me. Will you make me the happiest, luckiest man in the entire world and be my wife?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” I shouted as he slid the ring on my finger and wrapped his arms around me.
I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Not only was Holden not having a baby with someone else, he’d read my letter, been in love with me since we were kids, and we were going to get married.
“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. They’re cutting the cake.” Molly shouted as she came around the corner.
“Oh no,” I sniffe
d back my tears and wiped my face. “Okay, we’ll be right there.”
My sister left and I looked down at my ring one more time before taking it off and handing it to Holden.
“What? Why are you…?” he looked so confused.
“Oh, I just want you to hold it because I think it would be bad form if we announced our engagement at Maisy and Bentley’s wedding.”
“Maisy would love it,” Holden reasoned.
“She would,” I agreed. “But still, I think it’s better if we wait.”
“But we can tell people tomorrow?” he asked before taking the ring back.
I loved that he didn’t want to wait to share our good news. “Yes, we can tell people tomorrow.”
He took the ring, kissed me one more time. “You go ahead. I need to take my time.”
“You did hurt your back!” I pointed at him.
“If I did, it was worth it. Now go.”
“I don’t want to leave you.”
“I’m fine. You’re the maid of honor. Go.” It was the same tone that he’d had when he’d said no, that he wouldn’t put me down. I was definitely a fan of that tone and would be asking him to use it after I took my rinse off showers at night.
I kissed him one more time and rushed into the reception. When I walked in I saw Beau Briggs was in the middle of the dance floor kissing someone, I couldn’t tell who it was.
I looked around and found my sister and hurried over to her. “What did I miss?”
“Beau caught the garter. Sasha caught the bouquet. Then she grabbed him and that happened.” I looked back and they were still kissing.
“Who’s Sasha?”
“That’s Sasha Nelson. She’s Mrs. Nelson’s granddaughter. Apparently, she’s on some soap opera.”
“Sunset Bay,” I filled her in. “Why is Sasha kissing Beau?”
“I don’t know. People do strange things at weddings. Like I knew this one girl, she was a maid of honor and she snuck outside and got engaged.”
My head spun toward her. We’d never really had what people called twin telepathy Molly used to mess with me and say that she did and I must not love her as much as she loved me if I didn’t feel it, too. But Bentley figured out what she was doing and made her come clean.
Educating Holden (Wishing Well, Texas Book 11) Page 20