by S M Mala
‘Marry me,’ he asked, making her jump. She saw him leaning over the bed and peered at her. ‘Be with me for the rest of my life, that’s all I ask. All you need to know is, even if you have some nagging doubts, that I love you. I’m unsure if you love me.’
‘That’s stupid and you know it.’ She reached out and touched his face. ‘I’m surprised you gave me a second look.’
‘I’d been looking at you for weeks before I banged your leg in the bar. Little did I know you were actually coming into the clinic to see me the following week. How kismet is that?’
‘Kismet?’ Then she thought about what her daddy had said over Christmas. ‘You believe in all that stuff, do you?’
‘I certainly believe in fate.’ He slid off the bed and lay on top of her. ‘I’m very sincere about wanting to marry you but I realise you’ve had a few shocks recently. I guess you want to be sure about us.’ Then Mylo grinned. ‘Shall I ask your father for your hand in marriage?’
‘Good God no!’ she said loudly; the very idea made her head spin faster. ‘He won’t agree. I’ll tell you that for nothing.’
‘Oh, he will. Because if I can convince you then I can certainly convince him.’
‘I’m not sure about that. You don’t know what he’s like and he’s not a piece of cake, far from it,’ before turning away to make sure she wasn’t heard. ‘A bloody infuriating pseudo Indian fruitcake is what I’d describe him as, right now.’
Suddenly, she got a sinking feeling when thinking about her daddy.
‘Nothing has changed.’
That’s all her father said while sitting in his living room reading the paper. ‘No.’
‘And that’s you being reasonable?’ Bea started to laugh while she munched on a samosa. ‘You don’t want to meet him?’
‘No.’ He peered over his glasses. ‘No.’
‘I see.’ She looked at a photograph of her mother which took pride of place on the mantelpiece. ‘That’s not very charitable, is it?’
‘What would you know?’ he sniffed at her. ‘You shouldn’t be dabbling in relationships, not so soon after your mother has passed.’
‘It has been over two years.’ Bea swallowed hard, knowing it only felt like yesterday.
‘Another English man to break your heart? Yet more anguish for me to endure.’ Bernie glared at her.
‘No-one is going to break my heart and he’s not English.’
‘A foreigner,’ he sighed, feigning disgust.
‘You can talk!’
‘Probably wanting a passport.’
‘He’s Irish.’
‘Oh.’ Bernie put down his paper and took off his spectacles. ‘From Ireland.’
‘Where else? And his mother is American. He works locally and that’s how we met, sort of.’
‘Sort of, what?’
‘I actually saw him around then we bumped into each other, well, him into me in a wine bar.’ Bea cleared her throat. ‘And coincidentally, he’s my osteopath.’
‘You’re dating your osteopath?’ Then he smirked. ‘He can’t be that good if your leg is still hurting.’
‘It’s not hurting, thank you very much for asking.’
‘And it’s not extremely professional if he picks up women who are paying customers, is it? Doesn’t sound like a good one to me.’
‘He didn’t pick me up. He’s a good man and he is a doctor of his profession. Doctor Mylo Kearney.’
That got her father, because she knew he had no retort.
‘And for some insane reason he wants to meet you,’ continued Bea, shaking her head. ‘I told him you forbade the relationship and me seeing him. But he still thinks you should meet. I was totally frank, I said it wasn’t a good idea.’ Trying to hide her laugh she added. ‘He’s quite clever so you might feel intimidated.’
‘Simeon was a lecturer and I was never intimidated by him.’
‘But he wasn’t a doctor, was he? Anyway, Mylo owns his own clinic so he’s doing pretty well.’ She stood up, taking her cup and plate. ‘I think you’re right daddy, meeting up isn’t a good idea.’
Walking off to the kitchen she heard the rustle of his paper then something caught her eye. There were a pair of ladies shoes in the corner.
She stopped and looked closer
They weren’t small either.
Whatever woman he was entertaining had extremely large feet.
‘Whose are those?’ she asked, glaring at him as he walked into the kitchen. ‘You really are a hypocrite, aren’t you?’
‘What do you mean? Oh?’ He kicked them to the side. ‘They’re no-ones.’
‘No-ones?’ Bea shook her head. ‘Double standards if you ask me.’
‘Why does this man want to meet me?’ he grumbled.
‘Because he loves me and wants to meet a relative. As you are the only one I’ve got, I thought it might be interesting.’
‘Interesting?’ Bernie asked, stopping dead in his tracks.
‘Usually mummy has been on hand to smooth things over. Now that you are both my mother and father, which you have pointed out, it would be good to see you being congenial to one of my suitors. I’m happy to meet anyone you want me to.’ She glanced at the shoes. ‘Even if they are a giant.’
Bea washed up the crockery and put it to the side.
‘I’ve met his mother. She’s very glamorous,’ smiled Bea, seeing her father tick something over. ‘A sophisticated woman who goes to India once a year. I take it she’s into that spiritual stuff or she likes the idea of catching dysentery.’
Tight lipped, he stood next to her.
‘He’s not coming here. We will meet in the restaurant and see how it goes.’
‘And one thing,’ she said, wondering if it was a good idea but doing this for Mylo but mostly not for herself. ‘You don’t mention your hobby.’
‘Why not?
‘Sometimes it’s good to keep certain things private.’
And Bea was hoping that Mylo would also think the same way.
The ex-boyfriend and child for one.
‘You’ve been brilliant.’
Bea was smiling at a very grumpy Chloe, who was wearing less make-up than usual. ‘One more to go and then you’re done.’
‘I don’t want to do it.’
They were standing in the playground and she could see something was up.
‘Why not? It’s biology and you’re good at that.’
‘But I’m not the sort of biology Bruno is interested in,’ she said ending with a huff. ‘I think I need a cock to get his attention.’ Chloe’s cheeks went a bright, rosy red. ‘Apparently he was snogging some boy at a party.’
‘Apparently?’
‘I wasn’t invited.’ Her eyes started to well up. ‘I’m not cool enough.’
‘You’re more than cool and you know it. If those girls think that their behaviour is acceptable, then they’re wrong.’
‘But I’m not getting invited to any of the end of exam parties. I don’t belong here or anywhere!’
Then it happened.
Chloe was trying so hard to hold back the tears but couldn’t. Bea dragged her quickly away knowing that if the girls were to see a chink in the armour they would attack.
That was the last thing she wanted to happen to the vulnerable teenager.
Taking her straight to the office, she shut the door and sat Chloe down, who burst into tears.
There was exactly twenty minutes for her to sit the last exam.
Bea would have to work fast.
‘Is this about being a social butterfly or affairs of the heart?’ she asked, placing a chair directly in front. ‘At parties they would just be nasty to you but Bruno? Who told you this?’
‘I don’t understand,’ she sobbed. ‘I thought he liked me.’
‘I’m sure he does.’
‘Why blatantly go off with a bloke knowing I can’t compete? If he’s gay, he should have told me. I don’t understand.’ Chloe sobbed into her hands while Bea shoved tissues
in her face. ‘The only good thing is that his ex is well pissed off about it.’
‘It could be he is attracted to this boy and wants to see where it will lead?’ Bea knew she was repeating what Mylo had said. ‘Sometimes you have to try things to see if they work for you.’
‘If he’s with a boy, he’s not going to want me!’ she wailed, shaking her head furiously. ‘I thought he liked me. He’s the only person who has been nice to me, other than you. Now he just stares and won’t talk. Why do they all hate me? I’m not coming back after the exams. I hate it here! And my mum doesn’t care! She’s pissing off for summer and making me stay with my grandparents before dad turns up!’
She grabbed Chloe in her arms and let the child sob hopelessly.
It felt like holding a little girl who was inconsolable with pain.
And all the time she realised that Chloe’s dilemma was pretty much like her own. The inability to truly understand the person she loved, especially their life choices. Then she remembered the marriage proposal and there were butterflies of hope in her gut.
Mylo Kearney was the man for her.
But right now she was going to have to focus on someone else’s needs other than her own.
‘Chloe, listen to me,’ she said, gently pushing her away. The girl looked like a child, other than her streaked mascara. ‘You sit this exam and let me sort it out.’
‘I don’t want to do it!’
‘You do and you will. Look, I’m in charge of challenging children.’
‘You mean dysfunctional fuck ups like me.’
‘No, I mean young people who need a helping hand dealing with growing up. I’m here to help and make sure the transition goes smoothly.’ Bea got to her feet, pulling Chloe up. ‘Wash your face and pull your shit together. You are going to get all A’s and I’m going to take the credit. I will deal with your mother after the exams are completed.’
After five minutes of Chloe being uncooperative, Bea decided to search information on the internet about gay men having sex for her plan of action.
What she didn’t expect was for her to read the description on what men liked, especially those who had slept with women. Suddenly her little research project was mainly for her own curiosity and self-doubt about whether she was enough for Mylo.
Reading the description of two men making love, she certainly had many attributes missing.
Her phone rang.
It was Mylo.
‘Hello,’ she said, frantically trying to shut down the web pages which were leading her towards an internet porn site.
Men sucking dick wasn’t what she really intended to see.
It left her slightly shell shocked.
‘How are you?’ he asked lightly. ‘Are you still getting your head around me meeting your father on Sunday?’
‘I love you,’ she sighed, dreading the idea. ‘And you know if you ask my dad, he is going to refuse my hand in marriage and no doubt advise you to find someone else.’
‘Barriers and obstacles make people stronger.’
‘You’re very optimistic.’
‘That’s your influence.’
‘I don’t think so. I’m trying to get my head around many things,’ Bea replied gasping at a rather disturbing shot of someone having anal sex. She then pressed the button to shut the laptop down. ‘Mylo, you know when you were with Cole.’
‘Yes.’
‘The sex side. Did you adapt easily to it?’ There was a silence at the other end. ‘I’m doing some research, that’s all.’
‘If something gives you pleasure, then yes.’
‘Did you enjoy him?’ This silent pause was longer than before. ‘Was it a shock? Gay boys aren’t my strongest topic.’
She shook her head not wanting to imagine him having sex with Cole.
‘Gay boys aren’t an area I know a lot about, believe it or not.’
‘Okay, you’re a straight man but had a bit of a bend before turning straight.’ Bea peeked at her laptop again and realised the frame she was looking at was more shocking than before, closing the lid shut.
‘Seriously?’ he asked sounding pissed off.
‘It’s not a homophobic comment. I said that about my dad. Remember?’
‘Why are you being mean?’ he gently asked, as she slowly opened up her laptop and got a flash of two men performing a joint sex act on a man.
She slammed the top down even harder.
‘Chloe’s having a few problems and had a meltdown. She is being excluded from the party scene by some bitchy girls. She also likes Bruno but he allegedly, over the weekend, kissed a boy and liked it.’
‘Isn’t that a song?’ Mylo started to laugh. ‘And wasn’t it about a girl?’
‘When you kissed him, did you like it? Was it the start of an awakening in you?’ There was a deathly pause on the other end of the phone. ‘I might as well ask. If I mention it to Erio he’s going to tell me all sorts of confusing stuff.’ She let out a little sigh before starting to grin. ‘Was it manly and strong compared to kissing a woman?’
‘I’ve kissed women who have been manly and strong,’ came the smart-arsed reply. ‘I’ve also snogged some who have had rougher skin and more facial hair.’
‘You better not be talking about me,’ she whispered.
‘A kiss is a kiss. It’s how you feel that’s important.’
‘So you were immediately turned on?’
‘Are you when you kiss someone?’
‘Not always.’
‘There you go.’
‘But when I kissed you that was different.’ Bea shut her eyes. ‘Very different. I felt something exciting happening in my body.’
‘I did too,’ he sighed. ‘A tingling in my pants turning to a hard on.’
‘Mylo!’ she shouted, starting to laugh. ‘That’s not nice.’
‘It was very nice later on.’ He sniggered down the other end. ‘Listen, the guy is young. Let him discover what he wants to do. If this Chloe likes him and there’s no chance, at least she’ll find out now. Then she can get out while the going is good.’
Bea pondered on his words and wondered what the sentiments behind it were.
‘Is that from personal experience, Mylo?’
‘I mean, if he’s not suitable then she’s better off knowing now than wasting her time.’
‘You didn’t answer my question.’
‘From personal experience, if you’re not suited there’s no point carrying on. I found that with many ex-girlfriends and Cole.’
‘Boyfriend,’ added Bea.
‘Cole.’
‘He was your boyfriend or would you prefer lover? The children were aware you were sleeping in the same bed. If the other two were used to it with their fathers, then surely Kayden would think you were a couple.’
‘I don’t want to talk about it right now,’ he replied sounding uncomfortable. ‘Like I’ve said before, I don’t regret it but it wasn’t one of my better life choices.’
‘Have you had any good ones?’
‘Yes.’
‘What.’
‘You.’
Hearing him breathe, she closed her eyes and thought about making love and laughing with Mylo.
‘Okay, that’s sweet,’ she eventually replied. ‘And I love you very much, even though your previous taste in both men and females is dubious.’
It was the man one that still left her with some doubt.
‘You’re tense.’
Mylo had tried to make love to Bea but he wasn’t relaxed. ‘Is it about tomorrow?’
‘You’re tense too,’ she replied, knowing he was making her edgy. ‘We might as well be camping?’
‘Pardon?’
‘Two tents in a field.’
Her quip fell flat as he pulled away and sat with his back to her on the edge of the bed.
‘It wasn’t that bad, my joke.’ Bea watched as he ran his fingers through his hair and then shook his head. ‘Of course I’m worried. You would be too if you only knew wh
at daddy was like.’
‘If you’re unsure about me then what’s the point?’
‘I’m not unsure.’ She moved closer and pressed her naked body against his back, wrapping her arms around him. ‘Not based on how much I love you, which is the point.’
Bea kissed his neck before running her hands up and down the side of his body. It felt firm and warm.
‘I know what I want,’ he mumbled holding her hand and kissing it. ‘And if you can’t feel it, then I can’t do anything else.’
‘A suitcase,’ she said, smiling into his back. ‘That’s all I need.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘And maybe a couple of boxes.’
‘You’ve lost me,’ he sighed and she could see his miserable face from the side.
‘I don’t own any furniture. What I had, I sold, and the things I use aren’t mine. They belong to the person who owns the flat. Clothes, books and stuff is all I’ve got. No need to waste money on a removals company. The boot of your car will do fine.’
‘Bea?’ Mylo turned to look at her.
‘When do you want me? I need to give notice on the flat. Tell me how much I have to contribute and-.’
He smothered her mouth with his lips. The kiss was gentle and warm as he moved away and smiled.
‘Are you sure?’ he asked, cupping her cheek with the palm of his hand. ‘Don’t do this because you-.’
‘I love you. And I want us to be happy. I want you to be happy.’
‘You make me happy.’
It was very quick.
Him stroking her body and making her straddle his lap, all the while attached to her lips. His soft kisses made her body tingle and the movement of his hands turned her on.
All the time she looked into his eyes, watching him watch her.
Then his hand went between her legs and he started rubbing her nub with the tip of his finger.
She closed her eyes.
‘Keep them open. I want to look at you when you come. It turns me on,’ he whispered.