by Lynn Austin
“I trust Miss Blake has coached you on how to conduct yourself in social situations while we’re here in London?” Mother asked.
“Yes, Mother. I’m prepared.”
“You’ve outgrown your childish hysterics?”
“Yes, Mother.” Audrey’s heart thumped faster with each question, aware of the new situations she would soon face and her own awkward shyness. Yet her well of courage felt full, thanks to Eve. Her friend would arrive by train with the other servants later today. Audrey couldn’t wait to hear how Eve had enjoyed her first train trip.
“You will be attending several teas and socials while we’re here in London,” Mother continued. “You’ll need to make a good first impression at these events and do what’s expected of young ladies from your station in life.”
“I believe I’m ready, Mother. Miss Blake says I am.” But she couldn’t deny the slippery-sick feeling that washed through her stomach at the prospect of meeting strangers and being examined, judged.
A flash of lightning lit the room, but the grumbling thunder sounded far away. Clouds made the morning room dark and dismal. Their London town house was a narrow building five stories tall and attached to town houses on either side. With windows only in front and back, the rooms always seemed dreary to Audrey—especially today, when rain erased the small park across the street. The rooms were tastefully decorated, opulent even, but Audrey never understood why Mother preferred living here instead of stately Wellingford Hall with its spacious rooms, plentiful windows, and views of trees and rolling hills.
Mother drew a breath through her ever-present cigarette holder, a green one to match her emerald silk dress and jacket. “You’re still too young to think about finding a husband, but I expect you to watch the older girls and learn from them for the future. The Season is all about making the right connections. You’ll be joining a sorority of sorts, and I want you to be received into the very best coterie, right from the start. Then all the proper doors will open for you.” Mother seemed talkative for once, not in a hurry to run off somewhere, as she chatted on about the purpose of the Season and the social interactions that would eventually lead to marriages among London’s prominent people. Mother wouldn’t venture out until after the rain let up, so Audrey sat down in a wing chair across from her to listen, aware that their moments together were as rare as rubies.
“Did you meet Father here in London during the Season?” she found the courage to ask.
Mother gave a mirthless laugh as she crushed out her cigarette. “Certainly not! Your father didn’t become part of the London scene until after we married.”
“How did you meet him?”
Mother narrowed her eyes as if considering how much to reveal. “He pursued me with the help of a mutual friend.”
“And you fell in love with him?”
Mother’s brow puckered in a frown. “Why all these questions, Audrey?”
“I’ve been reading Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s poetry, and she makes falling in love sound wonderful.” Even now the poet’s words echoed through Audrey’s mind and warmed her heart: “I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.”
“What else would one expect from a poet?” Mother sounded irritated. “You’ll soon learn that love isn’t the only reason people marry.”
“Why did you marry Father?”
She gave a thin smile. “I liked the life he could offer me. And he liked my father’s title.” The coldness of her reply alarmed Audrey. She was about to ask what it felt like to fall in love when Miss Blake entered, interrupting their conversation.
“You asked to see me, Lady Rosamunde?”
“Audrey will be attending a tea on Thursday afternoon. Please make sure her wardrobe and her behavior are suitable.”
Fear slithered through Audrey. Her stomach rolled like a heavy, oiled ball. She thought of the shiny black beetles Eve had taught her to hold, and tried to summon the courage to face this new challenge.
“Of course, ma’am,” Miss Blake replied. “And are there any social events scheduled for tomorrow?”
“Mr. Clarkson and I have a dinner to attend in the evening, but Audrey won’t be going.”
“In that case, I wondered if Miss Audrey and I could tour London in the afternoon.”
“Not in this dreadful weather!”
“Only if the rain stops,” Miss Blake said. Audrey tried not to bounce on the chair with excitement at the prospect of seeing the city with Eve. She could keep her promise to take her to the Unknown Warrior’s tomb.
“Don’t tire her out,” Mother said. “I don’t want Audrey drooping like a wilted flower at her first tea—or worse, dissolving into hysterics. That will be all.”
Audrey and Miss Blake were dismissed. On her way upstairs, Audrey asked the butler to send Eve Dawson up to her room the moment she and the other servants arrived.
Eve bounded into Audrey’s room a few hours later, barely pausing for breath as she described her train trip and how huge the London train station was and how crowded the streets were. “I’ve never seen so many enormous buildings in my life!”
Audrey was bursting to tell Eve the news. “You’ll see even more of London tomorrow. I’m taking you to Westminster Abbey and the Unknown Warrior’s tomb.”
Eve backed up a step and sat down on the edge of Audrey’s bed. “Really? Am I really, truly going to see it?”
“Yes! My parents have dinner plans in the evening, so you’ll have the afternoon off from cooking. Miss Blake is going to take us.”
“I can’t believe it!”
Audrey eyed Eve’s baggy gray uniform and stained apron. “Do you have something nicer to wear than that?” she asked.
“Well . . . I have my Sunday dress . . .”
“I know! You can borrow one of my dresses!” Audrey bounced to her feet and flung open the doors to her wardrobe, where her dresses and jackets hung in tidy rows.
“If you think I should . . . I mean . . . if mine isn’t good enough . . .”
Audrey turned to her. Eve’s freckles stood out against her pink cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Eve. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I only thought . . .” What had she thought? Fussing about her wardrobe was something Mother would do, and Audrey didn’t want to be like her. “I thought we would look like sisters if we dressed the same. And it’s such fun to dress up for special occasions. After Westminster, Miss Blake is taking us to see Buckingham Palace and then to Fortnum & Mason for tea.”
Eve managed a small smile. “I would like to look my best when I see the Unknown Warrior’s tomb.”
“Good. Then let’s see what fits you. I think we’re nearly the same size.” She pulled Eve to her feet and towed her to the open wardrobe.
“So many dresses! What do you need them all for?” Eve reached out to touch the clothes, then quickly snatched back her hand. But not before Audrey noticed her chapped skin and broken fingernails.
“I’ll be attending parties and teas where I’ll be seen—and hopefully noticed—by London’s finest families,” Audrey said. “It’s how people find marriage prospects for their sons. My brother, Alfie, says there’s already a mob of girls fluttering around him.”
“You mean, you’ll be on display to attract a husband? You’re only thirteen years old!”
“I know. It does seem silly.”
“I would feel like a piece of fruit on a street vendor’s cart.”
Now it was Audrey’s turn to feel embarrassed. She lowered her head for a moment, then drew a breath. “The point is, I have more dresses than I’ll ever need, and I would like to share one with you. Please, take your pick.” They sorted through Audrey’s wardrobe together until Eve chose a simple blue dress and matching jacket. Eve was the same height as Audrey, but more muscular with strong shoulders and sturdy legs from working in the kitchen and running errands. Audrey was annoyed to see that the dress looked better on Eve than it did on her spindly body.
The sun shone in a nearly cloudless s
ky the following afternoon as they climbed into the car with Williams and Miss Blake. Audrey felt as though she were seeing London for the very first time as she viewed it through Eve’s eyes—the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben, the lumbering red buses, the boat traffic on the river Thames. Her friend’s enthusiasm was contagious. Audrey felt genuine joy as Eve gripped her hand and gazed through the car windows in wonder.
“Williams, stop!” Eve said suddenly. “I need to buy flowers for the warrior’s grave.” He pulled to the curb and Eve darted from the car, returning with a colorful bouquet from one of the vendors. A few minutes later, they got out by a small park across from Westminster Abbey. Eve stared up at the two enormous spires as if frozen in place. “It’s beautiful!” she murmured. “Like it’s made of lace!”
The inside was even more magnificent. A forest of pillars supported the soaring ceiling while light from above flooded the space. A towering stained-glass window sprinkled jewels at their feet. “I feel so small,” Audrey whispered.
“I know. This must be what heaven is like.”
Miss Blake led the way as they wandered through chapels and alcoves with ornately carved tombs and past the sepulchers of kings and queens who’d died centuries earlier. Eve grew somber as they walked through the vast, silent space, pausing to view the chancel and high altar, then turning to walk down the broad central aisle to the Unknown Warrior’s resting place. In the center of the aisle, a dark rectangle of stone lay flush with the abbey floor, marking the simple grave. Tears flowed down Eve’s face as she knelt to place the flowers on it. Audrey was only able to read some of the words engraved on the plaque before Eve’s flowers blocked the view:
BENEATH THIS STONE RESTS THE BODY
OF A BRITISH WARRIOR
UNKNOWN BY NAME OR RANK . . .
THUS ARE COMMEMORATED THE MANY
MULTITUDES WHO DURING THE GREAT
WAR OF 1914–1918 GAVE THE MOST THAT
MAN CAN GIVE, LIFE ITSELF . . .
THEY BURIED HIM AMONG THE KINGS BECAUSE HE
HAD DONE GOOD TOWARD GOD AND TOWARD
HIS HOUSE.
In the hush of the vast space, she heard Eve talking softly and leaned closer to listen. “I never got to meet you, Daddy, but your friends told me all about you. Mum loves you very much and I love you, too.” She rested her palm on the black stone. “Mum works very hard. And she still loves you, Daddy. Williams asked her to the cinema but Mum says she’ll never love anyone else.”
Audrey recalled another line of Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s poetry: “. . . and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.” She felt empty inside, knowing her own parents had never loved each other the way Eve’s had. They didn’t even seem to like each other much.
“I hope you’re happy up in heaven, Daddy . . .” Eve’s voice broke. “Give Granny Maud a big hug for me . . .” She lowered her head and covered her face as she wept.
Audrey started forward to comfort her, but Miss Blake stopped her. An unfamiliar emotion stirred inside Audrey, and she was surprised to discover that it was jealousy. How she envied Eve Dawson! In spite of her hard life as a servant, Eve probably never felt the aching loneliness that filled most of Audrey’s days. And Eve’s parents loved her and loved each other. Tears of grief filled Audrey’s eyes, not for Eve but for herself. She would gladly trade everything she owned to be her.
At last Eve stood and wiped her tears. She looked sad and broken and drained of strength. Audrey remembered the strawberries and wished she had a pocketful to cheer Eve. “Thank you for bringing me here,” Eve said. “I’ve wanted to come all my life.”
“You’re welcome. Are you ready to leave?”
Eve nodded. But she turned to look over her shoulder at the grave one last time before they walked outside into the sunlight.
“Let’s go see Buckingham Palace next,” Audrey said. She had to squint in the bright sunlight as they crossed several bustling streets and entered St. James’s Park. The path took them alongside a lagoon where children waded near the edge and ducks floated on the tranquil surface. Trees muted some of the city noises, but Audrey missed the peaceful grounds of Wellingford Hall. Nobody spoke as they walked the length of the park and emerged into the broad square in front of Buckingham Palace and the Queen Victoria Memorial.
“The king’s palace is enormous, isn’t it?” Audrey asked. “Dozens of people could live inside and never run into each other.”
“The king must need hundreds of servants,” Eve said.
They peered past the golden crests on the iron gates and saw the king’s guards in their red coats and bearskin hats. Eve still seemed subdued. Audrey longed to cheer her but didn’t know how. “Are you ready for tea at Fortnum & Mason?” she asked.
Eve shook her head. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to go back to the town house.”
Audrey’s emotions had swirled inside her all morning, and now anger rose to the top. She couldn’t disguise it as she said, “But I don’t want to go home. We still have all afternoon to see the sights.”
“Go without me. I’ll take a taxi back. I have money.” But Miss Blake insisted they both accompany Eve. The lovely day Audrey planned was ruined.
Her temper had a chance to cool by the time they reached the town house. “We’ll do all of the other things that I planned tomorrow,” she told Eve. Eve simply nodded without looking at her. They climbed from the taxi and Audrey bounded up the steps to the front door with Miss Blake. Eve left them as the taxi drove away and walked around to the servants’ door in the rear.
Eve waited all afternoon and evening to tell her mum about the Unknown Warrior’s tomb. They shared a bedroom high up in the attic of the town house while they were in London, and for the first time in her life Eve could talk to Mum every night before bed. But night fell and Mum didn’t come. The other servants trudged up the creaking stairs and settled down in their rooms after the long day. The town house grew quiet. Mum’s bed remained empty.
When she could wait no longer, Eve lifted Mum’s worn flannel dressing gown from the hook on the back of the door, put it on, and padded downstairs in the dark, barefoot. She slipped through the door into the forbidden part of the town house, hoping she wouldn’t run into Audrey. They hadn’t spoken a word on their way home from Buckingham Palace, and Eve knew Audrey was angry with her for not going to tea. But it seemed wrong to enjoy a fancy tea after mourning at Daddy’s grave for the first time.
A ribbon of light shone from beneath one of the bedroom doors. It was ajar. Eve approached quietly, listening for voices, then halted and peeked inside. Mum dozed in a flowered armchair beside the lamp, her head propped on her hand. Eve must have awakened her because she looked up. “Eve! Come here, love. What are you doing up at this hour?” The thick carpet felt soft beneath Eve’s feet as she hurried inside and knelt in front of Mum’s chair. The aroma of perfume filled the shadowy room, the same scent that trailed Audrey’s mother wherever she went.
“I came looking for you, Mum. I wanted to tell you that I went to the Unknown Warrior’s tomb today. I bought flowers with the money you gave me and put them on his grave.”
Mum took Eve’s hands in hers. “What did you think of it?”
“The abbey was so grand and beautiful. It’s like God really could live there. And the warrior’s grave is in the most important place of all. No one is allowed to walk over it like they do the other graves. He’s buried with kings and queens, Mummy!”
“It’s wonderful, isn’t it?”
“I think the warrior really is Daddy because when I talked to him, it felt like he was listening. Like he heard me.”
Mum bent to hug her tightly, holding her in her arms for a long moment. “I’m so glad you were able to go.”
“I wish you could have come with me,” Eve said when they separated again.
“I know. I do, too. I try to visit Westminster at least once when I’m in London. Maybe we’ll have a chance to go together.”
Eve thought
the heaviness she’d felt all day would lift after she talked to her mum, but it didn’t. “I don’t understand why Daddy had to die. You and Granny Maud went to church and prayed for him, didn’t you?”
“I asked Granny the same question. She was a woman of deep faith, but I could tell she had questions of her own that had no answers. Especially when her husband died so soon after we lost Harry. It seemed so unfair. But then you were born and we knew you were a special gift to us from heaven. A little piece of your daddy lives inside you.” Mum traced her finger across Eve’s freckles. Angels’ kisses.
“Tell me about Daddy again,” she said as she leaned against Mum’s legs.
“Harry was honest and kind and hardworking. And so loving. He enjoyed a pint or two and a laugh with his friends, but he was never a troublemaker. When the war began, he was very courageous and signed up to do his duty. And he was determined to see the good in life in spite of all the bad. When the time comes for you to get married, don’t ever settle for anything less than courage and kindness and laughter in a man.”
“Audrey told me that the reason they come to London for the Season is so she can start looking for a husband.”
“I pity her. I truly do. And I’m glad you can fall in love with anyone you choose. You’re so pretty and lively, Eve. The young men are going to buzz around you like bees. But don’t fall for the first man who pays attention to you.”
“But you never went out with anyone but Daddy.”
“That was different. I knew Harry and his family from the village. They were good people, and Harry was steady and solid with both feet on the ground. He wanted a lifelong wife, not a fling. Don’t let any man take advantage of you, Eve. If he’s honorable, he’ll marry you.”
Eve stood and took Mum’s hand to pull her to her feet. “Come to bed now, Mummy.”
Her eyes looked heavy with sleep but she shook her head. “Lady Rosamunde will be out very late tonight with a dinner and then a party to attend. I need to wait up for her until she comes home.”