by Lucy Rains
Intimidating as he always was, I held my ground. “Let me help you.”
“Didn’t you hear me?!” he bellowed. “Get out of my room!”
I was prepared for this response and so I didn’t cringe at his shouted demand. Patiently I waited, waited for his breathing to slow, watching as his anger deflated.
He swiped a hand through his hair and exhaled gruffly. “You can't help me.”
Knowing he would insist this, I quickly said “Let me try.”
Gavin closed his eyes and shook his head. I leaned forward and continued my slow crawl towards him. He turned his face away, not willing to look at me. His feelings shifted towards humiliation and I knew I had to tread lightly.
As I cautiously settled beside him, I reached out and grabbed his hand and pulled his palm up to my chest, resting it there. His body jerked at the contact. I watched his perfectly portioned pink lips part and his dark eyes close in pleasure as he felt the soft vibrations in my chest.
His breathing slowed and I could feel the fear leave his body, replaced with contentment.
“Do you still want me to leave?”
His eyes blinked open slowly, and I felt his desire creep up through his chest. He studied me, not responding.
I pulled one of his many pillows over for my head and laid down.
Gavin followed my actions, facing me, his eyes still on my face. I couldn’t read his expression, I could only feel that his emotions had settled.
“Will you stay all night?” he whispered, feigning disinterest but desperate in his feelings.
My heart swelled at his request. I nodded slowly.
I was pulling my hand off of his wrist when Gavin reached up and caught it. He gripped it, keeping my hand locked on his.
The action was unexpected from Gavin who was normally so reserved. I closed my eyes for a minute to catch my breath and still my own desires. He felt amazing under my skin.
He leaned up and pulled a stray blanket up over my body, then settled back down.
“Gavin,” I whispered.
“Shh,” he stopped me. His eyes closed and he let out a soft moan of pleasure. My core filled with warmth and spread lower.
I heard him let out a heavy breath and relaxed into his bed.
The smell of his body filled my senses. The familiar peppermint mixed with the smell of his own body. My eyes ran over his face as he slept, and I dug my sixth sense deeper into his mind. My cheeks warmed as I felt his heated desire and I quickly pulled out.
I wondered how the tension that was constantly between us would be affected after this. Would he open up more? Would his demeanor soften? My gut told me his issues were too deeply rooted to be fixed this easily.
His palm on my chest relaxed as he slipped into sleep. I kept watch over his emotions as long as I could until my own eyes felt heavy and I drifted off for the night.
********************
I awoke the next morning exactly how we had fallen asleep the night before. By the time I was awake, I could tell Gavin had awoken already. His emotions were a jumble. Pleasure, anxiety, frustration….
My eyes blinked and I looked at his hand that still rested against my chest. His eyes remained closed but his breathing was shallow. It would have been nice to relax in his bed for a while longer but nature was calling and I couldn’t put it off.
Gavin’s arms relaxed as I leaned back. His dark eyes were open, watching me.
“Bathroom,” I whispered. I felt his eyes on me as I walked out of his room, his emotions still anxious.
After I took care of business I showered and did my hair for the day, twisting chunks and strands back into a high bun.
I still needed to get dressed, so I wrapped a towel around me and was about to open the door when I paused. I felt someone in my room. I reached out expecting it to be Alex, but it wasn’t. Walking around in a towel in front of Alex was one thing. Gavin was a whole different league that I wasn’t sure about. Still, with no other option, I leaned out to see Gavin laying on my bed, dressed in dark jeans and a gray athletic shirt. Looking beautiful with his hands crossed behind his head.
I kept the door cracked and stuck only my head out. He watched me with a small smile on his face.
“Gavin?”
“Jade?”
“Why are you in here?” I asked.
“Waiting for you.”
“Okay,” I cleared my throat. I wasn’t sure what to think, Gavin was not usually one to pop up in my personal space.
“Did you want me to leave?” he asked, a corner of his mouth tilting up. He was enjoying my discomfort.
“Um, well, I need to get dressed.”
Gavin flicked his chin towards my closet door. “So get dressed.”
I swallowed, looking to my closet door and than back to him. He didn’t budge.
I rolled my eyes, “Could you just close your eyes,” I asked with exasperation.
He continued staring at me, ignoring my request. My heart skipped a beat and I couldn’t help but feel intimidated under his stare.
Trying to appear unruffled by his dominating presence I walked to the closet and quickly shut the door. I put on my under necessities and then some jeans and a black sleeveless top with ruching on the side seams. It gathered at my waist and hugged my frame. I opened my door to see Gavin sitting at the end of my bed, right in front of the closet.
“Is everyone already gone?” I asked.
“Yes. I have today off.” He turned and looked out the window. “You’re spending the day with me.” His expression had lost it’s humour and turned back to the serious Gavin that I knew. He was thinking about something. Something that made him feel nervous.
“Could we maybe stop by a store? So I can get a few things?”
Gavin looked back up at me, his eyes unreadable. “Whatever. “Let's get breakfast.”
********************
We stood in line at the coffee shop waiting our turn in line. Gavin was scanning the cafe, checking our surroundings.
“You come here often?” I asked.
“Everyday,” he answered.
We stepped up to the counter when it was our turn and I let Gavin order for me.
The barista rattled off our total and waited for Gavin’s payment.
“Actually,” Gavin smiled, looking at me then back at her. “It’s her birthday.”
The young girl locked on to Gavin’s eyes, not even glancing my way. She smiled, her wide brown eyes twinkling. “That's great!”
The smile he gave her was mesmerizing. I had never seen it before and I was struck dumb. It lit up his face in a way that could get him anything he wanted without his ability.
“Maybe our order should be on the house for the special occasion?” Gavin suggested.
She nodded her blonde head enthusiastically. “Of course! Happy Birthday!” She said with a smile, still looking at Gavin.
We backed away from the counter to let the next person order. I raised an accusing eyebrow at Gavin. “I hope you don’t use your gift every day. Poor girl.”
“Of course not, now go find us a table,” Gavin said, “I’ll wait for our food.”
A corner table by one of the front windows was available, so I sat and waited. I pulled out my phone, seeing that I had received a text. My very first on my new phone.
You’re brave. Glad you survived the night and lived to tell.
I smiled at Alex’s text and responded.
You never should have doubted.
His response came seconds later. I need to start having nightmares.
“Excuse me,” a deep voice interrupted my texting. I looked up to see a blonde haired young man standing over me, smiling hesitantly. He was cute. Boyish features, preppy, his emotions suggested friendly curiosity. “Is this seat taken?”
I opened my mouth to reply when Gavin set our tray of breakfast down. His broad chest puffed up as he glared at the guy. My eyes rolled skyward.
The guy took a step back and offered an apology,
quickly leaving.
Gavin mumbled a few curses his way and then sat down.
“He didn’t know,” I defended the poor guy. “You didn’t need to scare him.”
Gavin glanced at me and then back down to our food. I had gotten a muffin and juice, Gavin had ordered a breakfast sandwich and milk. Caffeine didn’t work on our bodies, just like Advil didn’t apparently. I had learned this a couple years ago when sharing all sorts of morning drinks with Mia. Lattes, coffee, cappuccinos. She had gotten her morning buzz while I felt no different.
I leaned back, and pondered my next move. I needed to learn how to communicate with Gavin. He was not as open and forthcoming as the other guys. I studied him, rolling ideas around in my head.
He looked away from me and went back to handing me my food.
Screw trying to figure this out on my own. I went for a blunt approach. “Do you wish I wasn’t here? With you guys?”
I was satisfied to see that my question had caught him off guard and he paused in opening his milk.
He huffed, “What makes you ask that?” he took a sip from his glass.
“Don’t answer my question with a question.”
He set his milk down, “If I didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here.”
That was a very small baby step in a somewhat positive direction.
“You were at my school that day, watching me. During track.”
Gavin nodded thoughtfully but didn’t respond.
“Why?”
He eyed me for a moment then looked to his food. “Why else? I wanted to see you. Wanted to get a good look at what we were getting ourselves into.”
This didn’t seem to be a positive or negative response so I let it go and fingered my food. My shoulders were tense, my foot bouncing. I felt like I was walking on shattered glass, trying not to slice open my feet with every question.
“Do I bother you?” I asked.
“Everyone bothers me.” There was no humour in his voice.
“Why?” I questioned.
He shook his head and avoided my eyes by looking out the window.
Gavin pulled off a piece of bagel and popped it in his mouth. I waited for a response but it never came. I took a bite of my muffin and chewed thoughtfully.
“What about the guys?” I asked.
“What about them?” he responded.
“Do they bother you?”
He tore off another piece of bagel, “No.” He popped the bread in his mouth and chewed. “They kept me from taking my life on more than one occasion when we got out of hell. They are and always will be, apart of me. ”
I pondered his comments as I chewed my food, more questions coming to mind, but knowing I had to tread carefully.
“Do you remember anything before the lab?”
He shook his head, almost glaring at me. I had a desire in that moment to be frank with him. He seemed to think my life had been puppies and roses but the emotional neglect I had endured had to mean something to him.
“I haven’t celebrated a birthday in 9 years. When I turned 10 my mother,” I cleared my throat, “Vera, was out of town. She made a point to be for every year after that. Christmas was a media holiday for us, never got a tree or did presents. Half the time she was gone for that day too.”
“Rough life,” he said sarcastically and then took a bite of his food.
“At least you had each other,” I shot back. “When you found your abilities, when you were having a bad day. At least you had each other for support and comfort. I was scared out of my mind when mine developed. I had no idea what to do, and no one to talk to.” Not knowing I had leaned forward, I let my back rest against the chair. “And bad things happened because of it.”
His gaze softened in the slightest way, with no nasty response. That was my only sign that he accepted my rebuke.
I let out a sigh and looked at my food. “Where would you be right now, if you weren’t held down by Jason and his agency?”
He took a second to chew and then swallow, “Somewhere in the mountains. Remote. Removed from everything.”
“Is that where you want to go after everything goes down and you guys,” I looked around the shop, “disappear?”
Gavin shrugged again, looking nonchalant but his feelings had shifted to a deep longing. “The guys want to run to some island. I’ll stick with them.”
My eyebrows went up, “Have you told them what you want?”
He shook his head, looking down. “Nobody has ever asked.”
My heart sank. He was obviously quick to sacrifice his desires for the other guys and for the sake of keeping the peace. I would not let this go down quietly.
I looked out the window as I chewed my food, watching the morning foot traffic pass by the window. A young couple stood at the corner of the street, lip locked and joined at the hips. My eyes locked onto them, caught up in their personal moment of passion and the words came spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Have you had a girlfriend? Since getting out?”
He snorted, and I looked away from the couple, turning to read his face. He gave me an incredulous look.
I scowled, “Well, have you been with a girl?”
His face went blank and my body tightened. I didn’t want to hear this, why had I even asked?
Gavin read my expression and felt through our connection my darkening mood and he spoke quickly. “Not what you’re thinking. She initiated, I let it go for a little while, but before anything could happen I stopped it.”
I swallowed, catching my thoughts before they could spiral out of control. “Just once?”
He nodded, leaning back.
“Why?”
“Why what?” he asked.
“Why did you stop it?” My fingers were twisting the paper napkin into a tight ball.
He brought a hand up to his chin and rubbed, his hands scanned the ceiling, like he was looking for the right words. “You’ve never been with a guy, right?”
I shook my head slowly.
“If you had, you would probably understand. When she touched me my body went cold, especially in my chest. It was like ice water running through my veins. My head felt weird. It just felt...wrong.”
“What about the other guys? Have they had relationships?” I asked quickly. Suddenly desperate for information that I knew would keep me up at night.
Gavin eyed me warily for a second before shaking his head.
I let out a breath and looked down at the table, closing my eyes for a second to try and relax the tension from my shoulders.
Gavin suddenly began cleaning up our wrappers and trash, pushing his chair back as his stood. “Let's get out of here.”
CHAPTER 21
I followed Gavin out of the coffee shop and into his silver car. Color me surprised as he held the door open for me. Without a word, he shut it and quickly made his way over to his side.
Yesterday’s rain clouds were gone and the sun shone brightly in the late morning. I slipped my sunglasses on and leaned back against my seat. “What are we doing today?” I asked.
“First, we’re going to go wash my car.”
“Wash your car? We?” I mused.
Gavin glanced at me. “You ever washed a car?”
“Not by hand,” I admitted.
“Then I guess you get to learn today.”
“What’s wrong with the automatic car wash?” I suggested.
“Hell no,” he cringed. “Those places are the worst.”
We pulled into a car wash bay and Gavin turned off the car. He reached in front of me, between my knees, to pull open the glove box. Inside was a ziplock bag full of quarters. He pulled them out and shook them, “Let's get going.”
After pulling out his car washing gear from the trunk and inserting several quarters into the machine, Gavin patiently showed me all the details of babying his baby. I followed his direction with my hand movements, how to use the mit, and where not to use the mit. We crouched together in fron
t of his tires and polished the chrome to high shine.
I stiffened when he held onto my wrist while he showed me how to accurately squeegee his windows, making sure there were no trails of water left behind. His hand covered mine on the handle, his skin rough against the back of my hand. I would be lying if I said I was paying attention to anything he was saying at that moment.
After we had toweled off the entire car with microfiber towels, in all the nooks and crannies that Gavin pointed out, I stood back and admired my work.
“I think it looks fabulous,” I observed.
Gavin walked over to where I was standing and looked at the car for a moment, before turning to look at me. “Good enough,” he agreed.
He opened my car door for me and waited for me to sit down before closing it. I waited patiently as he gathered up his supplies and put them back into the trunk.
Gavin took me to a store next, where I gleefully picked out make-up, a straightening iron, hair necessities, lotions, and makeup remover. Gavin stood back, calm and uncaring. I was thankful for his uninvolved behaviour. The other guys would have given me all sorts of dirty looks and complaints.
When we were back in his car, I looked over and asked, “Now what?”
“Now,” he said while turning his car on, “You get to go to therapy with me.”
I couldn’t help the visible shock that came over me. “Therapy?” I squeaked. “Are you sure that’s a good idea.” I knew Gavin had issues, and frankly therapy for him sounded like an excellent idea. Just not with me involved.
Gavin shrugged, “I guess we’ll find out.”
I swallowed, and coughed nervously. “So, like, am I going to wait in the lobby?”
“Of course not,” he protested.
“Um, okay. Is your therapist ok with this?”
He nodded slowly. Humour glinted in his eyes.
My eyes narrowed at him, “You’re not telling me something.”
Gavin looked back to the road and focused on driving. I kept my eyes peeled on where he was taking us, not sure if I was going to like this.
We headed out of town and into a rural area with large fields, and big trees along the river. When we passed by a large sign that stated our location, realization dawned on me. Gavin pulled into a parking spot and already from inside the car I could hear the dogs barking.