by Lucy Rains
“And I don’t want to look like I just rolled out of bed every second of every day.”
Alex took a step closer to me, I sensed his frustration turning to anger and I braced myself.
“So help me Jade…” His hands went to both sides of my body, pressing into the counter. His voice had lowered in pitch and he spoke softly. “There is nowhere you can hide it that I won’t find it, and burn it.”
I leaned even closer to his face, showing that his intimidation wasn’t affecting me. With the same tone I said, “Keep it up Alex, and you will be a strange smell in the backyard.”
He pushed off the counter in exasperation and ran a hand through his hair.
“Don’t you have class you need to go to?” I asked.
Alex shot me a frown before stalking out the kitchen, ignoring my question. I looked at Gavin, who ignored me as he ate his scrambled eggs. I needed to pick a bone with Pierce so I walked into the office. He was standing hunched over, looking at a computer. His blonde hair fell forward into his face, his grey button up shirt pulling tight against his arms and shoulders. I was walking into another battle and braced myself for impact.
“I don’t want to go with anyone today,” I said firmly.
Pierce continued looking at the monitor for several seconds before standing up and looking at me. “You really think that would be an acceptable option, after what happened last night?”
I cringed inwardly, not taking that into consideration. This was going to make my argument impossible to win. I let out a heavy sigh and plopped into a nearby computer chair.
“Who am I going with today, then?”
“With me,” he said while also sitting down in a computer chair. “What would you do if you weren't with us? Just out of curiosity. You have no car, you aren’t familiar with the area. No job. Wouldn’t you be bored at home all day?”
My head tilted back and my eyes went to the ceiling. I thought of Gavin and the time he spent at the animal shelter. “Maybe I could volunteer somewhere? An elderly home? A women’s shelter?”
Pierce folded his arms across his broad chest as he thought about my idea. Or how best shoot it down. “You do realize that anything you do, be it volunteer work, a job, schooling, even joining a gym- everything takes Identification and you will be put into the system. Which will eventually show up on Vera’s radar.”
I didn’t restrain the curse that slipped from my lips. Frustration pooling thick in my gut. I felt locked in a cage, looking at a life I wanted but couldn't have.
Pierce’s comment repeated in my mind. No ID. I thought about this for a minute. Thinking about the resources and talents the guys had. I knew in that moment Pierce was holding something back.
“Surely you guys have begun to take steps in preparation for us to disappear off the radar right?
He nodded once. “Of course”
My eyes narrowed, and I sat forward in my seat. “That would involve having new documents for all of us, wouldn't it?”
Pierce knew where I was going with this question. Yet he gave nothing away and continued working on his computer.
I threw my hands up in frustration. “This is almost worse than when I lived at home.”
“All the more reason to resolve the situation with Vera and the lab quickly. Is there something you would like to do? Here at home? Books? Drawing? A hobby of sorts?”
“Jewelry.”
He looked away from his monitor, studying my face. “You mean,-”
“I mean, I make jewelry. I would like to again.”
Pierce nodded, “We’ll go out and find what you need.”
“It will be expensive to start all over. The supplies, the tools…” Pierce continued looking at me, his stare not flinching. He nodded once and looked back to his computer.
Feeling somewhat placated, but still overly stifled, I cleared my throat uncomfortably, shifting in my chair. My fingers tapped on the desk and I searched for courage to say my next words.
Pierce sensed my discomfort and looked back to me. What is it? His voice echoed through my mind. A hint of concern in his mind.
I swallowed, “I uh…” My hands combed through my freshly straightened hair. “I need to go to a clothing store to get a few things.”
He raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for an explanation.
My cheeks burned hot and my mouth was suddenly dry. This was way worse than I had expected it to be.
How did I explain to him the changes going on in my body? That I had woke up that morning and realized my breasts had become much larger, that my hips curved in ways they hadn’t 2 weeks ago. How did I explain to him that my bras no longer fit and my pants choked my body. My clothes hugged me in all the wrong ways and I needed new ones. I certainly didn't understand it, but I needed his help.
Shaking my head I sighed, “I just, my clothes, things don’t fit right anymore.”
“Why? What do you mean?”
I knew I needed to be open with him. Since the five of us only had each other, were unique in our ways, he needed to be aware of these changes. I sighed and rushed through my words. “My body has changed. I don’t know why. Since being here, since my period, my body has changed and my under clothes don’t fit right, and neither do my pants. And some of my shirts. And I’ll definitely need a new swimsuit. ” My hands motioned towards my self, my palms open, my fingers waving. “And I don’t want anyone else buying my underwear for me.”
His eyes started to scan me, looking over my body. I folded inwards, crossing my hands over my stomach, wanting to hide myself from his searching gaze.
“Don’t do that,” he said almost chastising me. “Don’t hide yourself from me.”
My cheeks burned like fire. I tried to swallow, to find my voice. Something about Pierce, his presence physically and emotionally, dominated me. Straightening in my chair, I didn’t know what to say to that. I wanted to snap a sharp retort but also fought the desire to bow my head in submission. My feelings jumbled inside of me and all I could do was stare.
“I’ll make sure you go to a store today.”
I nodded once in gratitude and stood up to leave the room. Needing space to flush the heat from my cheeks and emotions before I was forced to be by his side all day.
CHAPTER 26
When I had gotten up that morning I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide it any longer. Though the changes were subtle they were increasing daily. My pants no longer skimmed the ground. My bras were a joke, and my leggings fabric stretched so tight against my new hips I could see through them. My skin itched where my body was changing, shifting. My muscles along my arms were more defined, my hair thicker.
I had hoped that I would be able to get by a few more weeks or even days before I had to bring this up to someone. I wanted to keep my body my business. Not only was this a completely baffling situation I didn’t understand, but I didn’t have experience talking to anyone about my personal problems. So bringing it up to the guys was like the nightmare where you show up naked to school. Only I wasn’t waking up.
Sitting through Pierce’s classes, and study groups was torture. I was constantly fidgeting, shifting, tugging. I adjusted my chest strap through my shirt, trying to ease the tension in the bra strap. As well as tugging my leggings down as they creeped up my thighs.
Finally, half way through Pierce’s noon class, he grabbed my hand and hauled me from my seat. I looked at him for an explanation. Without meeting my eyes, he picked up his books and we exited the classroom.
“What are you doing?” I asked, breathless at trying to keep up with him without tripping.
“If I see you pull at your clothes one more time I think I’m going to lose my mind. You’re obviously very uncomfortable. So we’re going to the mall.”
I clamped my mouth shut, embarrassed at his words and unaware that my movements had been affecting him.
My cheeks burned as we walked to the truck. In silent obedience I climbed into the passenger seat and buckled in. If I could have it my wa
y I would be dealing with this on my own. Instead I have to share this awkward experience with an incredibly masculine man who happened to be my first kiss and orders me around like his soldier half the time.
When he settled into a parking space in a strip mall shopping area, I unbuckled my seat belt quickly, clearing my throat.
“I’ll just run in real quick, you don’t have to come.”
Pierce unbuckled his seat belt and opened his door without looking at me.
“Pierce?”
I hopped out of the truck and closed the door behind me. Pierce stood in front of the truck, poking at the screen of his phone.
“Did you want to go check out another store while I get my stuff?”
He rolled his eyes, “Why are you acting like I’m about to watch you get a pap smear?” He shoved his phone in his pocket and began steering me towards the store. “Your clothes don’t fit, your body has changed, its fine, Jade.”
“Easy for you to say,” I grumbled.
Pierce took me to a large department store that had all of my clothing needs, rather than hitting individual stores. The individual stores would have been easier on my wallet but I wasn’t going to complain. I just wanted to get this over with. I found a couple pairs of jeans fairly quickly, as well as some athletic leggings. I picked out several basic shirts, and tanks in various colors.
When it was time to get a swimsuit, I groaned inwardly. Swimsuits were not cheap and there were no sales going on to lessen the blow. But not having a swimsuit that fit, was not an option. I needed to swim, and definitely needed to be covered. I found the cheapest, simplest black one piece I could find and took it to the dressing room.
The suit was a miserable fail. It fit where needed, but the material was low quality and rubbed in areas I knew would leave a mark. Not to mention it was thin in places that needed more padding. It was uncomfortable, frumpy, and poorly made. While frowning at my reflection, a white two piece was placed over the top of my changing room door. I could feel Pierce’s presence on the other side, and I called out. “What’s this?”
“Just try it on. See if you like it better.”
I scowled, pulling it over the door. When I looked at the price tag on the suit I choked out a strangled laugh.
“What?” he asked through the door.
“This is over my budget,” I explained.
Pierce gave a low laugh, “Good thing you’re not paying for it.”
My grip on the swimsuit tightened, “Like hell, I’m not.” I grumbled.
“Try on the suit,” Pierce ordered in a firm voice.
I pulled the suit off the hanger and proceeded to step out of the black one piece. “See, I don’t know how you can argue this one,” I slipped my legs into the bottoms. The suit felt like silk on my skin and hugged my new curves in a way I didn’t know was possible. “It’s my body, my clothes, so it will be my money.” I finished clasping on the top and stared longingly into the mirror. I was properly covered, yet the cut highlighted my curves and angles in a spectacular way.
“Open the door,” Pierce growled.
Blood ran to my cheeks. “Um...I’m not decent.”
“I don't have to be Alex to know you're lying. Did you try it on?”
I sighed, looking at myself. “Maybe.”
“Now.”
His one word dared me to argue and I worried he would break the stall door. I flipped the lock and opened the door an inch.
I peered out at him, “I don’t think guys are even allowed over here.”
Pierce’s eyes went to what little he could see through the door opening, appraising my suit. Or body. Or both. Before I could close the door, his fingers grabbed the edge and pulled it open, letting himself in and locking the stall door.
I gasped, backing up against the mirror to create space between us. “What are you doing?!” I whispered.
He folded his arms, not hiding his attempt to look over my body. I turned slightly, crossing my arms in front of myself as he did, but with much less confidence. His eyes flashed a look of warning at my movements and I remembered his earlier rebuke. But I didn’t move.
“I can pay for my own clothes,” I said, keeping my voice low. “You buy my food, let me live in your house, buy me new sheets, take care of all my other needs. I can handle this. It's not like I have anything else to pay for.”
Pierce took a step forward, in our already cramped environment and I stiffened. There was nowhere to run. Nowhere to go but stand in his dominating presence. I felt weak in that moment, wearing next to nothing while he towered over me. My bare skin made me feel exposed. I could feel his frustration tinged with anger, mixed with heavy desire.
“You are mine to care for. Ours, to care for. You are one of us. What’s ours is yours. Our money is your money. So, it's technically not me paying for your clothes, its you paying for your clothes, using our money.” His arms uncrossed his arms and he reached forward for my hips. As he pulled me closer to him, I was forced to crane my neck up to meet his eyes.
“That’s not fair,” I said softly. “You worked hard for that money, you earned it. You shouldn’t be spending it on a new wardrobe. For me. Again.”
His face dipped down and I could feel him holding back his frustration, “I don’t care if you think its fair. The sooner you accept the way of things, the happier you will be. Because this is not going to change.”
My eyes closed as he leaned closer, “Do I get a say in this?”
“Of course,” his lips brushed my ear, “You get a say in what you spend it on.” I felt his teeth graze my jaw line and I stiffened. Electric shocks running up my spine. “I’m going to go pick out a few more things for you, including undergarments. And you’re going to get what you want, and you’re not going to argue about it again.” His hands slipped around to my lower back and threatened to go lower as his fingers grazed the hem of my bikini bottoms.
I struggled to find my voice, wanting to protest that I was going to pick out my own underwear, but my ability to speak was failing as I breathed in his clean masculine scent and let myself lean into his body. If I was to be honest with myself, I wanted Pierce to take care of me. I wanted to be thought about, cared about. But there needed to be balance where I stood on my own and took care of myself.
Pierce’s mouth landed hard on mine, but only for a moment. Only long enough for me to lean into him and open my mouth for more. Just when I had finally relaxed, his hands left my body, his lips left mine and he was gone from my dressing room. The sudden absence leaving me cold and wanting.
Per Pierce’s intense encouragement, I picked out several more items in the store. An extra swimsuit in addition to the white two piece, as well as a black cotton swim dress cover up. A couple different jackets, shorts for when the weather was warmer, and a couple pairs of shoes. I suffered through bra shopping as quickly as possible and made Pierce fetch me new ones when the ones I had tried on didn’t fit. He encouraged me to pick out a few more tops, blouses and soft chiffon tanks. The whole shopping experience was surreal. No one had ever encouraged me to wear nice clothes, and I wasn’t even sure where I would wear them to.
Satisfied with my items, and completely starving, I let Pierce begin the checkout process at a customer service desk. He pushed me away, knowing I would fret about prices and money. I begrudgingly complied, but as I walked away something stopped me.
A high female voice. A certain feeling of admiration and longing coming from someone. Someone near Pierce. My blood pulsed in my ears as I watched him from a few racks over. The young blonde behind the counter was breathless under his stare. Her fingers dabbing at her earring, adjusting her hair, and attempting to brush his fingers as she helped remove hangers from my items. There was a constant femmie tilt to her smile and her chin dipped when she spoke.
My feet began moving without me knowing, stalking towards the counter. My fingers formed claws as I came closer and my lips pinched. She stood a little straighter, tossed her hair over her shoulder. Her emo
tions were like a sick pull on my mind and a red tinge began to prick the edges of my vision.
As I reached the counter, Pierce suddenly stepped in front of me, blocking me with his back, his right arm coming around and holding me in place. I stilled under his touch, the warmth of his skin like a calm wave. He finished his sentence about a recent messy return of shoes at a nearby store and then turned his head to look over his shoulder.
Don’t
That one word, though simple, had a powerful effect on me. There was a calm pressure pushed into my mind. I gained some control over myself and was able to take a deep breath.
His voice came back inside my head. Wait for me at the shoes, I’ll be there in a minute.
A rumble built in my throat and I bit it back with a hard swallow. I peered over his shoulder and gave the girl a death glare she would remember. Knowing I needed a little more help, Pierce pushed me away from him, giving a head nod in the direction I needed to go.
Don’t make a scene.
I shot one more glare towards him and headed towards the escalators.
The shoe section was up a level and far enough away from Pierce that I could more easily ignore the tinkle of giggles from the cashier. With my hearing, nowhere in the store would be completely safe, but this was better.
At first I just paced amongst the tables of shoes, getting a grip on my irritation. But as I let my eyes wander and appreciate the styles I looked closer. Trying to distract myself from ripping out blondie’s hoop earrings, I let myself daydream about what I might like to purchase, if I had anywhere to wear nice shoes. I bent over to lightly touch a pair of black suede pumps, then red rhinestone studded heels, and cream fringed booties.
I lifted my head, looked around for a salesman to inquire about pricing when Pierce sounded in my head.
Jade…
His voice was distant, like he was unsure about something.
What is it? I asked, standing still, looking at the ground.
At that moment of odd emotion pricked at my mind.