by G Lawrence
As he left me that evening, I sat by the fire by myself, letting my ladies play at cards together at the table. They asked if I wished to join them, but I did not. Kate offered me wine, but I set it to one side. My eyes were stolen by the flames, leaping and prancing about each other, stroking and whirling in their beautiful dance. Outside, the night was clear and the stars were bright.
I thought on all that Cranmer had said, and drew comfort from his words. He was right; faith in God, in Henry, in myself and in my friends… this was all I needed to succeed. And soon, I thought, soon we would. We had the opinions of the universities, we had Cranmer and other scholars, we had the quick mind of Cromwell… And my great enemy Wolsey was no more.
Above all others, that was what du Bellay wrote about me… Above all others, the Lady Anne. And it was true now… there was no one above me in Henry’s heart, estimations or friendship. Any who opposed me would be cast down. And soon enough I would find a way to persuade Henry that the words of Cranmer and the Collectanea were true… He would become the King I knew he could be.
I sat for a long time that night, thinking of all that had passed since Henry asked me to be his Queen. It felt finally as though we were standing at the edge of something, something vast and unimagined before in England. A time in which we would break free of the oppression of Rome and her corruption, but also a time of fresh hope, when the new learning could be brought to the people, and set them and us free.
I was at the edge of something wondrous and beautiful, teetering at the cliff tops of this possibility and change, so vast, that I could not see all that lay ahead. But I was excited, elated… I felt as though if I but put out my arms then wings would grow from them, and I would fly free. I knew too that there were many miles left to go for us, but with the strength of the people who believed in me, such as Cranmer, I felt as though I could flow over those miles, wending my wings through the skies, and coming to rest only when our great task was done.
This was no longer only the King’s Great Matter, it was all of England’s and I was the force, the power and the will that seemed to drive it.
One day, we would have all that we dreamed of, I thought… for Henry, for me, and for England.
Epilogue
The Tower of London
The Afternoon of the 18th May, 1536
Shadows have started to appear in the corners of the room; they stretch long in the afternoon light. The ghosts of my past have returned to stare at me through the whitewashed walls. Master Kingston left me many hours ago, and I have prayed, and remembered the past all this time…. All this time I thought not on my present misery, and it has done me good. I have barely noted the hours pass, so deep and long have been my reflections.
Those men who came to us then, Cranmer; Cromwell; Gardiner; Foxe… Each had his part to play in our story. I thought them all friends and allies then, but I did not know I had already met and befriended the man who would one day spell my doom.
But how could I have known, then, that one of these men would topple me from the precarious seat of power so many years later? Should I have seen such a thing, somehow, and prevailed against it? Should I, too, have noted the changes in Henry, and feared them rather than welcoming them? I did not see that my greatest enemy would rise one day from the heart of my greatest love… and that he, and the powers of the court, would one day remove me, just as I had done so with Wolsey.
I did not consider then, what I had done. I did not think that one day I would face the same charges as Wolsey. I did not understand I had shown Henry how to remove a loved one, how to leave one behind. I did not know I had given a sketch of my own fate, to my enemies.
But on that night as I sat before the fire, I knew not what was to come. I knew only that I was at the edge of something great, something momentous, not only for me, but for the faith I turned to so often and so desperate in those years to console me. I had risen higher than any could imagine, but there was still further to go… and but two barriers to overcome; Katherine and her daughter Mary. In those years that would come to pass after, I would come to know things about myself that I had never known before. I came to face aspects of my character I had hardly known existed. I was tested in those years. Tested more than I had ever imagined possible. And yet, in all the ill I did to Katherine and her daughter, I sought to do much good for my country, for my King, and for my friends…
We are none of us, perfect creatures. There are many who come much closer than I to the mark of sainthood. I know this. I have asked God to forgive me of my sins, and I hope He will.
It is past noon. The morning wanes to afternoon. I have but what hours of this day are left, and one more night before I face death.
Cranmer has asked to come to me once more. I will be glad of his company, for he always managed to bring me peace, and peace is what I need now, as I prepare for the end.
My story is not yet done. I have to face memories of the time when my greatest sins were done. I will have to face Katherine’s ghost, and Mary’s memory. Now, as I sit awaiting death, I know what I did to Katherine and her daughter. It is only now that I come to fully understand the pain she endured. Perhaps this, then, is God’s way of making me understand all that I did. Sinners find ways to repent… I have found mine. This story is my penance. My way of explaining to God all that I did, and why I did it. My way of confessing my sins, and trying to uphold all the good I did amidst the evil.
And yes. I know I did wrong by many. I do not seek to excuse myself of such sins. Tomorrow morning, I will meet God. I must do so with a clear conscience. I must explain myself to my maker.
I wonder if I will get the chance to speak to Katherine in Heaven. If we walk under the light of God together, I will tell her much… And perhaps she will forgive me… for she was always a stronger woman than I…
There are voices outside the door. I turn, waiting to see who has come to see me on this, the last full day of my life.
Here ends Above all Others. In book four, The Scandal of Christendom, Anne works to remove Katherine and her daughter Mary from their royal titles as Henry’s men work hard on the King’s Great Matter. In her quest to become Queen, Anne will find ways to persuade Henry that he can rule as Pope and Emperor… changing the course of British history, and shaking the foundations of the Church….
About the Author
I find people talking about themselves in the third person to be entirely unsettling, so, since this section is written by me, I will use my own voice rather than try to make you believe that another person is writing about me to make me sound terribly important.
I am an independent author, publishing my books by myself, with the help of my lovely editor. I write in all the spare time I have. I briefly tried entering into the realm of ‘traditional’ publishing but, to be honest, found the process so time consuming and convoluted that I quickly decided to go it alone and self-publish.
My passion for history, in particular perhaps the era of the Tudors, began early in life. As a child I lived in Croydon, near London, and my schools were lucky enough to be close to such glorious places as Hampton Court and the Tower of London to mean that field trips often took us to those castles. I think it is hard not to find the Tudors infectious when you hear their stories, especially when surrounded by the bricks and mortar they built their reigns within. There is heroism and scandal, betrayal and belief, politics and passion and a seemingly never-ending cast list of truly fascinating people. So when I sat down to start writing, I could think of no better place to start than somewhere and sometime I loved and was slightly obsessed with.
Expect many books from me, but do not necessarily expect them all to be of the Tudor era. I write as many of you read, I suspect; in many genres. My own bookshelves are weighted down with historical volumes and biographies, but they also contain dystopias, sci-fi, horror, humour, children’s books, fairy tales, romance and adventure. I can’t promise I’ll manage to write in all the areas I’ve mentioned there, but I’d love
to give it a go. If anything I’ve published isn’t your thing, that’s fine, I just hope you like the ones I write which are your thing!
The majority of my books are historical fiction however, so I hope that if you liked this volume you will give the others in this series (and perhaps not in this series), a look. I want to divert you as readers, to please you with my writing and to have you join me on these adventures.
A book is nothing without a reader.
As to the rest of me; I am in my thirties and live in Cornwall with a rescued dog, a rescued cat and my partner (who wasn’t rescued, but may well have rescued me). I studied Literature at University after I fell in love with books as a small child. When I was little I could often be found nestled half-way up the stairs with a pile of books and my head lost in another world between the pages. There is nothing more satisfying to me than finding a new book I adore, to place next to the multitudes I own and love… and nothing more disappointing to me to find a book I am willing to never open again. I do hope that this book was not a disappointment to you; I loved writing it and I hope that showed through the pages.
This is only one in a large selection of titles coming to you on Amazon. I hope you will try the others.
If you would like to contact me, please do so.
On twitter, I am @TudorTweep and am more than happy to follow back and reply to any and all messages. I may avoid you if you decide to say anything worrying or anything abusive, but I figure that’s acceptable.
Via email, I am [email protected] a dedicated email account for my readers to reach me on. I’ll try and reply within a few days.
I publish some first drafts and short stories on Wattpad where I can be found at www.wattpad.com/user/GemmaLawrence31 . Wattpad was the first place I ever showed my stories, to anyone, and in many ways its readers and their response to my works were the influence which pushed me into self-publishing. If you have never been on the site I recommend you try it out. Its free, its fun and its chock-full of real emerging talent. I love Wattpad because its members and their encouragement gave me the boost I needed as a fearful waif to get some confidence in myself and make a go of a life as a real, published writer.
Thank you for taking a risk with an unknown author and reading my book. I do hope now that you’ve read one you’ll want to read more. If you’d like to leave me a review, that would be very much appreciated also!
Gemma Lawrence
Cornwall
2017
Thank You
…to so many people for helping me make this book possible… to my editor Brooke who entered into this with me and gave me her time, her wonderful guidance and also her encouragement. To my partner Matthew, who will be the first to admit that history is not his thing, and yet is willing to listen to me extol the virtues and vices of the Tudors and every other time period, repeatedly, to him and pushed me to publish even when I feared to. To my family for their ongoing love and support; this includes not only my own blood in my mother and father, sister and brother, but also their families, their partners and all my nieces who I am sure are set to take the world by storm as they grow. To Matthew’s family, for their support, and for the extended family I have found myself welcomed to within them. To my friend Petra who took a tour of Tudor palaces and places with me back in 2010 which helped me to prepare for this book and others; her enthusiasm for that strange but amazing holiday brought an early ally to the idea I could actually write a book… And lastly, to the people who wrote all the books I read in order to write this book… all the historical biographers and masters of their craft who brought Elizabeth, and her times, to life in my head.
Thank you to all of you; you’ll never know how much you’ve helped me, but I know what I owe to you.
Gemma
Cornwall
2017