After a long stretch of silence, he whispered, “Roman?”
Oh, fucking hell.
What have I done?
“You can’t tell them,” I begged. “Please, Carter.”
“They know. Or at least Roman Bolick’s son is on the short list of people who’d want revenge. That is, after they found out he had a son.”
This is bad. Beyond bad. Super fucking bad.
My palms started to sweat and my legs shook.
Oh, no.
“You have to stop them.”
“Stop them?” My cousin’s face screwed into an ugly snarl. “Why the fuck would I stop them? Roman targeted you and—”
“I know what he did,” I cut him off, not needing the reminder—it was forever burned into my brain. I’d never forget a second of it, even if by a miracle the doctor could help me stop having horrible nightmares, I’d never, ever forget. “If you think what I’m going through is bad, I’d never be able to live with myself if something happened to them.”
“Nothing’s gonna happen to them.”
“I just lived through two fucked-up operations that say otherwise. Anything can happen out there and you know it.”
“Listen to me. Nothing is going to happen.” Carter’s hardened features, the way he enunciated his words, told me nothing I said was going to change his mind.
He was on their side, he would help my dad and uncles exact revenge, uncaring of the repercussions.
“I guess it doesn’t matter what I want. All of you are hellbent on payback. Just remember, Cousin, that blade—it cuts both ways, and sometimes when that knife sinks in, you feel it worse.” I grabbed my phone off the counter and started to walk out of the kitchen. “You can let yourself out.”
Five minutes later, I was lying in my childhood bedroom hugging my pillow tight, wishing Drake was there. He’d be able to talk some sense into my family. He would remind them how bad it is out there and all of the reasons why they should allow the military to handle Roman.
Exhaustion started to pull me under, and no matter how hard I tried to blink the sleep away, it was pulling me under. Bad dreams would follow.
Then I’d wake up alone and cold.
And Drake would still be gone.
27
“This is motherfucking bullshit,” Logan scoffed. “Who the fuck took the pictures?”
My hand in my pocket rolled Liberty’s dog tags through my fingers, the weight of them not doing a damn thing to calm me. Each day that passed, I felt her slip further away. Her leave would be up soon, she’d go back to Washington to her post, and eventually rotate out and deploy.
I couldn’t stop wondering if she was sleeping. If she was still having nightmares, and if she was, who was waking her up and holding her.
The thought of her being alone ate at me. Not even knowing that she was tight with her family pacified the throbbing in my chest.
“Don’t know who took the pictures. And to be honest, I don’t really care as long as Lennard and Wick make them disappear.”
“You don’t care?” Logan’s torso jerked. “Well, I do.”
“Some prick walking around snapping pictures with his phone is the least of my concerns. I just want Liberty protected.”
“And you think by taking a dishonorable discharge that’s gonna what, magically shield her?”
I knew Logan would give me a hard time about this. But he needed to hear it from me. Not as the squad leader but as a friend. I remembered how hard it was after Carter left the team. It’s a hit on a personal and professional level.
“What I think is, the lieutenant commander is going to need to cover his ass. If someone should ever come poking around he can truthfully say he took disciplinary action. And Liberty stays free and clear of charges.”
“Brother, I know how you feel about her. I watched the two of you. I get it—she’s a cool chick, tough, smart. I admit, she impressed the hell out of me out there. But you’re throwing everything away for her. Not just your naval career. You take a dishonorable discharge, where in the fuck do you think you’re gonna find a civilian job?”
I stared at Logan and knew he wouldn’t understand. The man’s childhood was fucked, yet he’d beat the odds and never turned to the dark side like his old man. Still took care of his mom and three sisters. But something he’d taken away from his younger years was the belief there was no such thing as love. Straight out, he thought the emotion was bullshit. He thought there were varying degrees of caring. He thought there was lust, want, and sex. He thought there was attraction. But love was not something real.
So I knew he’d never get it.
“You’re wrong, you don’t know how I feel about her. What you saw, the temptation of her, the lure, the fascination—that’s nothing. That’s the outward draw of her. What you cannot see, is the recognition, the way my body responds when she’s near, the way deep down, in the darkest parts of my soul, Liberty’s mere presence sheds light. You can’t understand, no more than I can explain it, but from the moment my mouth covered hers to breathe life back into her, a raw, pure, overwhelming, primitive need came over me. It was immediate. I knew in those first moments I would lay down my life for her. So, if I’d die for her, giving up my profession seems to pale.”
“Christ. First Carter, now you with this voodoo love shit.” Logan shook his head but the smile stretched across his face belied his sarcastic response.
“Look on the bright side, friend, you’ve been on my dick about sliding in the squad leader position for years. Now it’s yours.”
“Shit. They only gave it to you so you didn’t embarrass yourself and cry like a girl.”
“Right.” I chuckled.
“So, you’re done?”
“Considering I got no way to get back on the compound, I’d say I’m done. Lennard called me direct to tell me he was calling Wick. He also conveyed he wanted this shit done soon. No one wants a shit stain.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Logan’s shrug was nonchalant but his deep frown was full of disappointment. “Fucking jacked, all of it. Nothing changes between you and me.”
That was cool he said that, but we both knew everything had changed. Just like with Carter. Sure, we kept in touch when we could, I’d still drop everything to take his back, but there was a level of closeness that was gone, because we no longer had the teams in common.
The same thing would happen with me and the guys. The thought made my stomach recoil.
“Nothing,” I confirmed.
* * *
I was numb.
When Lennard had told me he wanted this situation off his desk and away from his command, he hadn’t lied. There were many differences between the teams and the regular Navy. We, or they as it were, had more latitude. Most of the rules and regulations regular sailors had to follow, team guys did not. It seemed everything moved faster in naval special warfare.
I tossed my separation papers on my coffee table and glared down at them and fought the urge to rub my sternum as pain radiated.
I loved Liberty McCoy with every breath I took and I’d protect her until my last, but fuck if this wasn’t killing me.
Everything was gone.
It had taken me years to get to the height of my career and days for Lennard to chapter me out.
DISHONERABLE.
The word taunted me.
There wasn’t a goddamn thing dishonorable about the way I served my country. Not a fucking thing dishonorable about loving Liberty. Yet there it was, line six, character of separation: dishonorable.
Fuck!
There was a knock on my door and I ignored it.
I couldn’t face my former teammates.
Not yet.
I didn’t want their words of consolation or encouragement.
I couldn’t look at the men who I’d gone out on countless missions with knowing I was no longer one of them. I’d never go into battle with them again. And fucking shit, I couldn’t stop the jealousy from invading my thoughts
.
Another knock came, this time pounding. I scrubbed my face and dug the heels of my palms against my eyes in an effort to ward off the headache that had been threatening since I was escorted through the very compound I’d called home for years. A motherfucking escort—in my own home.
If that wasn’t a kick to the gut, signing some shitty piece of paper that negated my good service was.
A third knock came and I gave up the hope they’d go away.
Wooden feet took me to my front door, my clammy hand turned the knob, and when I opened the door prepared to tell my former friends to beat feet and leave me the fuck alone, I was shocked to find a man I’d never seen standing there.
“Can I help you?” I inquired as I studied him.
About my height, older with some graying around his temples, he was fit in a way that suggested there was a time he was built. But it was the man’s eyes. They were hauntingly familiar. Hazel, but unusual, flecks of gold and yellow that made them look like cat eyes.
“Are you Drake Hayes?”
What the hell?
“And you are?”
“Levi McCoy.”
My torso jerked and fear rolled through me.
“Is Liberty okay?”
“No.” Every muscle tightened and my fists clenched at his words. “But she’s slowly getting there. May I come in?”
I stepped aside, allowing Liberty’s father to enter.
“What do you mean she’s slowly getting there? Is she still having nightmares? Did you get her to talk to someone?”
Levi frowned and narrowed his intelligent eyes, his gaze searching, penetrating, and I didn’t give the first fuck what he’d find. I needed to know what was going on with Liberty like I needed my next breath.
“She told me you’re the one who saved her life.”
I remained silent. I didn’t want to talk about her rescue or CPR or missions. I needed to know what was so wrong with Liberty her father would come up to Virginia Beach from Georgia to meet with me, a total stranger to him.
“She’s talking to someone. It took a few weeks, and a confrontation I’d rather forget but never will, because watching my daughter break down is something that’s tattooed on my soul.”
“Break down?” I growled, unable to keep my emotions in check. “What the fuck does that mean?”
I was already mentally checking off shit I’d need to pack a bag and get in my truck to go to her, so I missed the change in Levi. But when I refocused on the man, he stood taller, shoulders stiff, eyes no longer narrowed but wide in shock.
“So, it’s true. Something happened out there between you and my daughter.”
“Levi, I mean no disrespect, but you have two minutes to explain why you’re here and what’s going on with Liberty before you find yourself alone in my apartment because I’ll be in my truck heading south.”
The man had the balls to smile at me. What he didn’t do was start talking. Fuck this. I needed to get to my woman. Levi wouldn’t come all this way unless there was a serious problem.
I turned to head to my bedroom when his words stopped me.
“For ten days I watched my girl struggle. She’d wound herself up so tight, it was a wonder she could breathe. Her uncles and I talked and agreed some tough love was in order.”
A surge of anger took over thinking about Liberty being pushed to talk about what had happened to her. There was no doubt she needed to get it out, but my heart slammed into my ribs thinking about how scared she must’ve been. I’d witnessed the devastation firsthand. First when I found her, then when she’d dreamt about it.
“So you forced her,” I snarled.
“Yes, and it was ugly.”
Fucking shit.
“I have to go.”
Ugly.
Breakdown.
Jesus Christ.
I stalked into my bedroom with the singular mission of getting to my woman. Haphazardly tossed shit into a bag, not caring what it was, I’d buy whatever I needed when I got to her. Two minutes later with my backpack over my shoulder, I walked back into my living room and found Levi studying a stack of papers in his hand.
Even though I didn’t mean to, I glanced at my coffee table now clean of the documents I’d thrown there.
“What’s this?” Levi held the papers out for me to see and I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood.
The man didn’t need me to answer, it was clear what they were.
“Dishonorable. The Navy burn you?”
Why did that feel so good? His first question hadn’t been, what had I done to earn the characterization—instead he’d assumed I was wronged by my command.
“Doesn’t matter. As of today, I’m out.”
He looked back at the memorandum attached to the notice of separation and his brows pinched together.
“You declined a trial by court-martial. No persons to speak on your behalf. Ineligible for VA benefits. Nineteen years, six months into your service, paygrade E-9, six months from hittin’ your twenty and you decline a trial?”
“Know what it says, McCoy. What I don’t understand is why you’re interested.”
“I’m interested because this shit doesn’t jive with the man my nephew’s told me about. So, tell me, why the fuck you’d let them railroad you like this? And was the rest of your team treated to this bullshit?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared.
“Right. Either you can explain this to me, then I can explain why I’m here. Or, you can get in your truck, drive to Georgia, and I’ll get my team started on digging through your life until they find it—so by the time you get down there, I’ll know just how bad this shit stinks and then we can have the discussion we should be having now. But instead of six hours. Your choice.”
Goddamn, hearing Levi speak put a whole new spin on my friendship with Carter.
“Anyone ever tell you, Carter’s just like you?”
“As much of a compliment as that is, Carter is a spitting image of his father. Now, we gonna talk now or in six hours?”
No bullshit. No nonsense.
My kind of man.
“What I’m going to tell you stays between us.”
“Won’t make that promise to you. If I feel like Lenox, Jasper, Clark, or Carter needs to know, then they know. We don’t keep secrets in our family.”
“All right. Then I’ll amend. This doesn’t get back to Liberty. That’s a promise you’ll make or you can dig all you want, but the only thing you’re gonna find is a bunch of falsified documents. And I’ll give you this, I know the documents and charges are false, because I made sure they were. It was the only way I’d agree to a DD.”
“Will this information hurt my daughter?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“Yes, it would hurt her. But it will not harm her or her career. I made goddamned sure of that.”
“Fuck. Tell me.” Levi’s agitation was clear as day, therefore, I didn’t make him wait.
It took me twenty minutes to run down the situation, and that was only because before I told the man that basically a sex tape had been made of his daughter and me, he needed to know how I felt about her. She was not a quick, adrenaline-fueled fuck against the shower room wall. I was in love with her.
Throughout my explanation, Levi McCoy’s hand tore through his hair, his face paled, and at one point I was afraid my new eighty-inch TV was going to be thrown across the room. He was not a man who was angry—he was a father who was beyond livid.
Liberty had been through enough. She didn’t need this shit piled on top of an already high shit sandwich.
When I was done, Levi stopped pacing, turned to face me, and stared at me like he was looking at me for the first time.
“You lookin’ for a job?”
“Come again?”
“Seein’ as of today, you’re officially unemployed, no retirement, no insurance, no paycheck, are you looking for work?”
“Retirement, insurance, and a paycheck aren’t on my
radar. However, getting to Liberty is. I told you what you needed to know, now it’s your turn.”
Levi started talking and it was my turn to pace, shove my hands through my hair, and ball my fists as he explained what tough love entailed and Liberty’s breakdown. Then he further enlightened me about Triple Canopy’s investigation into their past targets, and finally what they’d concluded and Liberty had inadvertently confirmed.
They knew about Roman Kushnir.
“I hope you understand why Wick didn’t want you in the know,” I told him even though I knew a man like Levi would never understand.
“Not even a little bit, but that’s a conversation between me and Stew.”
“Right. So I’m sure in all your intel gathering, you found that Roman was supplying the bomb maker known as Lore with materials.”
“Indeed. Also know the bastard blew himself up and almost took two of your guys with him.”
Regret and pain swirled in my gut thinking about Trey and Luke. Both had a long road ahead of them, especially Luke. His vision in his left eye was bad enough that if it didn’t start healing, he’d be facing a med board. Something that would kill him.
“Why’d you come all this way to tell me that? You could’ve called.”
“I needed to see for myself if my wife was right.”
Levi’s odd response took me off-guard. “Right about what?”
“That my daughter’s heartbroken and it has nothing to do with her being captured and tortured by the fucker. I didn’t see it. Then my wife, Blake, brought it up. Carter added his suspicions so I decided to come up here, and see for myself.”
“Heartbroken?”
A flicker of hope sparked and adrenaline surged like a shot of dope in my veins.
Does Liberty miss me as much as I miss her?
Fuck, I hope so.
“A long time ago when I was young and stupid, full of anger and pride, I made the biggest mistake of my life and walked away from Blake. I did it knowing she was the only woman I’d ever love. That mistake cost me twelve years. My wife took one look at her daughter and knew there was more in play. She told me that looking at Liberty was like looking in the mirror. Because you see, while I knew Blake was the only woman for me, she knew that I was the man that was meant to be hers and she knew it so deeply that for twelve fucking years my woman lived in pain. Pain that I caused. So when Blake says she knows my daughter’s heart is broken and it’s because the man she knows was meant to be hers walked away, you better believe I listened.”
Taking Liberty: The Next Generation Page 20