by R. J. Lloyd
Holding it before him, Kane growled as Dorian gasped, “Now you can join her in the abyss.” And with that, he crushed the beating heart rendering all signs of life left within Dorian gone. Kane let go of him, dropping the lifeless body onto the floor.
More footsteps filled the room, and I could faintly hear Indrell over the noise. Looking down over everyone, I saw Sarah fall into Wulfgar’s arms, and he held her close to him. The siblings, Oberlea and Dohlmas, held onto each other in the hall, but Indrell pushed her way through.
She shoved one of the Everwinter soldiers aside, coming up beside Kane. “No!” But in the time it took her to cover her mouth with her hands, she looked up at where I floated. “Wait!” She shouted.
Nobody reacted to her as she dove for where my body was lying. That is, nobody except for Kane as he caught her arm. “She’s dead.”
She struggled in his grasp. “You clearly underestimate her.”
“Do not toy with me woman!” Kane shook her.
She pushed against him. “If you stop yourself from sinking into that despair for one second and feel for her, you will believe me.”
I felt the breeze created when he spun to face my body, letting her go in the process. “What are you saying?”
Both of them ran to me, collapsing onto their knees on either side of my bloodied frame. Indrell lifted my hand to her cheek and pressed her ear to my chest. “I need my bag. Now!”
Kane stood, grabbing the closest person to him by the front of their armor. “Get me Indrell’s bag as fast as possible, or you will never take another breath.”
Kane shoved them toward the door. As he swiftly exited, Oberlea took the man by the hand and motioned. He lifted her, and the two were gone in a blur.
Returning to my side, Kane smoothed my hair away from my face. “Do not leave me, little one. I do not want this without you.”
Indrell put a hand on his shoulder. Despite him flinching, she kept it there. “She needs your strength right now. She needs a reason to stay.”
He leaned down closer and whispered. I could hear it as if I was still in my body, feeling his breath on my ear, caressing me. “I wanted her away from you. I needed her away from you to keep you safe. But I failed you. I failed in protecting you and our future. Come back to me, and I will never fail you again.” His voice caught in his throat. “Just come back to me.”
I wanted to return. I wanted to reach up and touch his face, sooth the lines that had formed there. I wanted to wipe away the tears that cascaded over his chiseled jaw. But I knew one thing. The pregnancy was over. The blow that Mika had dealt, the blade that she had slipped into my abdomen. It had hit its mark and extinguished the life growing inside of me. And a part of me died along with it.
Yes. I wanted to return to him. But I wasn’t sure I could feel that anguish and survive it. I wanted time to process. But I was growing cold. My entire being was growing so very cold and stiff. I knew that I wasn’t afforded the time I wanted.
The soldier returned, dropping Oberlea onto the floor next to us. She held out Indrell’s bag, handing it off to her and backing up.
Indrell grabbed it and riffled around inside. Pulling out a crystal, she laid it on my chest. She searched inside the canvas bag once again. This time, she pulled out a leaf. Slipping it under the crystal, she murmured words that I didn’t know, a singsong pattern of what nearly resonated as lyrics that pulled at me like a heavenly tune. A warmth emanated where she’d placed the items and spread down through my body.
Running her hands over me, she assessed the energies. “The life inside her is gone.”
Kane looked up, holding my hand between both of his to his chest. “Life? Just one?”
“Yes. There was just one,” she confirmed.
“How can you tell now when you did not tell me this before?” He glared at her.
She didn’t look up at him. “I could not tell before. There was a block. She protected her womb with a barrier. But I can tell now because I can feel its energies and its blood… your blood lying in her veins. The life force that was spilled within her combines with her own energies now. I can only guess it was how she was able to do what she did and how she is able to stay and have this choice now. This is not typical nature at work. But I can feel the energies.”
“Just one?” He gritted his teeth. “I did not love Mika. And Auri was not carrying any twins to fulfill that treacherous prophecy! All of this was for nothing! She endured all of this for nothing!” His eyes desperately searched Indrell’s. “She did not deserve this.”
“Does not,” Indrell rubbed his arm. “She is not gone, my liege. She just needs to choose to come back.”
“What?” His shoulders dropped in disbelief.
Indrell waved her hand above them… below me. “She is here. She has to choose to return to her body and stay.”
“She has to choose to stay somewhere that she’s endured unimaginable pain and loss?” He closed his eyes. “Who would choose that? I would not blame her for not wanting to be a part of my world.”
Her hand stopped, holding his bicep. “Where she’s also been given great love. Love of friends. And your love. This life has not been all bad. She has experienced some of the most amazing gifts from a life with you.”
He looked up, exhaustion now joining the pain and despair that danced in his eyes. “A love that failed her.”
“A love that can save her,” Indrell added.
The healer took my limp hand and laid it over the crystal and leaf. When she reached for the one that Kane was holding, he resisted at first. Kissing my fingers, he reluctantly let go and sat back, cradling his head in his own hands.
She placed my fingers over the other ones and pulled one more thing out of her bag. Opening the small vial, she dabbed a small amount on the tip of her finger and pressed it to both of my temples and then the center of my forehead. Replacing the vial, she gathered her bag and moved back. “Auriena. It is your choice. The blood that was shed inside of you had great power. Power not unlike your own but with one other element. It was also from Kane. And his immortality lived within it. You have a choice. Let it start to heal you or abandon this world. But if you choose to return to us, you need to do it before the damage is too much for recovery.”
I didn’t know what she meant. Choose? I wasn’t even sure how I was still there. But as she spoke, it sank In. I’d heard it being said, but it was that moment that I felt it. Only, I didn’t know how to go back.
As I looked over the faces in the room, all watching the scene before them, an ache filled within me. One that rivaled the agony of the life that was lost. But this ache was the longing to stay with them all. They had become my family. And I wasn’t ready to leave any one of them.
When I looked to Kane, his shoulders shook with his sobs, my heart yearned with longing to be in his arms. But the longer I lay there, not moving, it was too much for him to bear. Slowly, carefully, he stood. Fists to his sides, chest heaving, he threw his head back and roared the most guttural, agonizing, despair filled scream. The very sound of it reverberated through me.
And everyone coward.
He turned and looked at my still body. Voice weak, his words coming out in a whisper, “I am nothing without her.”
Kane fell back down to his knees next to me and put his hands over mine. His broad shoulders curled in as his muscular frame leaned in over me. The sight of him shook every inch of my being as if shaking it loose, and I was able to move again.
Lowering down toward him, I reached out to touch his shoulder, by my hand passed through his physical form. I couldn’t touch him, nor did he feel my attempt. And as my movements started to grow stiff, it made me want to fight it.
I landed on the floor across from him. Seeing the somber faces of everyone else was hard enough. But seeing Kane’s complete loss of any sort of inner light was more than I could bear.
I didn’t know what to do. I tried touching his hands, my own hands, my own face. I even laid out in my own b
ody. The act sent shivers throughout me. And, for a moment, Kane blinked through his tears as if he felt something. His reaction giving me hope.
But something was off. I felt through my body, heard through it. But there was a disconnect. Like my body was an outer shell to my soul that wasn’t affixed together anymore somehow. That when the two layers were pried apart, the glue that held them together wasn’t there anymore. They didn’t stick together, no matter how I adjusted and tried to line up with it.
Frustrated and cold, I growled. “Come on!”
Eyes shot over to me. Only a few heard me, but they did hear me. Kane gripped my hands tighter. “Auri? Are you here?”
But his hope was extinguished when my body didn’t respond, even if I tried to speak to him. “I’m here Kane! Please! Tell me what to do!”
But it was my turn to have hope flickering out when he didn’t respond to my pleas.
I sat up and let my hand hover over his, my legs crossed under me. Then, as it had dawned on me while locked in a fight to the death with Mika, the scrawling spells on me caught my eye.
I had tried to avoid learning them for so long, not wanting to get sucked into a world of magic that I saw corrupt so many. But I realized something vital as the spells all flipped through my mind. I was a book… a living grimoire. Just as was intended. And when I touched my own flesh, slowly, those spells filled my mind. And just as if I was touching a physical, paper book, I absorbed all of its text. The fact that I was outside of my body allowed me to read it where I hadn’t been able to while alive.
Spell after spell, use after use compiled into the tome that was forming in my head. Spells for everyday use and others for less common purposes. Some that were simple and others so complex I wasn’t sure I could find even the materials needed. And yes. Some spells were darker than the blackest midnight skies.
Then… there it was.
Hope reignited within me as a small, simple spell came into focus. Instantly, I translated it from the Romanian it was written in to look like the others into English, the language it had been written in as it was specially designed for a single purpose.
By earth and air.
By fire and water.
The elements combine.
By three and nine.
This soul in mine.
My body I bind.
By sky and sea.
Cord go round.
Powers be bound.
Keep harm from me.
By moon and by sun.
May it be done.
I recalled the day the spell had been inked onto me. My captor hadn’t wanted to let me go. And he sure as hell didn’t want to afford me any chance to escape. So, in his office, late one night, he toiled over creating the perfect binding spell, unlike the others.
“I’ve created it!” He stood, tossing his pen onto the desk.
“What?” I was tied to one of the posts of the bed as I had been every night, weary and exhausted.
He walked over to me, gripping my chin hard, lifting my head up to look at him. “A spell to keep us together forever.”
The spell was designed to bind my soul to his body with him. In his insanity, he’d become obsessed with me... with my power, as he would say. And sure, my being his living grimoire added to the strength of the spells when he cast them, but he wanted a step further. He wanted to bind my soul and my strength to him, in his body with him… and preserve my skin like a book.
The very thought shook me even after all that time.
But that was that night I escaped. And that was the last of the ink that they stained into my flesh.
The memories of the times on the needle end of the tattoo gun and all those moments filtered in along with each of the spells, but my lips were chanting the words, my voice steady yet quiet, “By earth and air. By fire and water.”
Kane’s despair was settling back into his features.
“By three and nine. This soul in mine. My body I bind.”
Indrell had sat back, leaning against the closest solid piece of furniture to her. The look of hope she had been steadfast with had started to fade.
“By sky and sea. Cord go round. Powers be bound. Keep harm from me.”
Wulfgar lowered his head as he hugged Sarah in closer to him. The twins nearby huddled into the corner of the room. And Aeden moved quietly across the room to knelt down next to Indrell, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“By moon and by sun. May it be done.”
Nothing.
But my soul didn’t feel it was nothing. Immediately, I chanted the spell again. Then, once more.
Along with everyone else, I waited.
Suddenly, I felt a pricking sensation tugging on me like nerves waking up when a part of you had fallen asleep. Numbness with tiny, fuzzy shocks licked every inch of me, pulling me out of the memory of those dark times, out of my baited breath and into the scene before me. I began to feel my metaphysical hands knitting together with my physical ones. My consciousness wasn’t sure what to do or even if I should move at all.
However, I wouldn’t have to figure it out on my own.
My soul lurched forward, the ghosts of my hands reuniting inside my actual body. My legs melded together in a contorted wave. I was being pulled down, my soul stretching oddly as it was being pulled back into my nearly lifeless body. And when my finger twitched physically, I knew it was working.
Kane stumbled back, his face in shock. “Auri?” He rushed back to my side, taking my hands again. “Auri!”
Indrell was right beside him in a flash, as was Sarah and Wulfgar. Everyone pushed forward, waiting to see what was happening.
Kane looked up. “She moved. Her finger moved!”
Indrell placed a hand on my shoulder. “Auriena, my dear? Welcome back.”
My fibers were still knitting back together. The energy that I had combined with the intense powers that were still in my body surged as the last of me bound together. A wave shot out like a gust of wind, rushing around everyone.
Indrell laughed. “Sorry. I stand corrected. Now, welcome back.”
“Auriena? Auri? Little one?” Kane kissed my cheek.
I felt his lips tight, nervous. Then, I took a breath. My eyes fluttered as I held it for a moment before coughing, my hands letting go of the elements Indrell had placed there, my fingers entwining with Kane’s as I gasped for air.
He lifted me up, holding me against him. Stroking my back, he stood, cradling me in his arms. “What does she need?”
“I don’t know,” Indrell replied.
He saw him shoot her a look. “You don’t know?”
She laughed. “Kane. I’ve never seen power like hers. My people only tell tales of this sort of thing. I would imagine water, food when ready, rest and… you.” She brushed her hand down my arm. “But maybe you should ask her what she needs.”
My voice was hoarse. “Put me down please.”
“But…” He started to protest.
“Please.” I looked up at him.
Reluctantly, he complied. Carefully, he lowered my feet to the floor but kept ahold of me as I steadied myself. “Are you alright?”
I shook my head, trying to regain my voice as I coughed. “I will be, I think.”
He ran his hands up and down my arms. “What can I do? What do you need?”
Every cell in me was alive. My senses were on hyperdrive, and I took a breath. Reaching up, I laid my hand against his cheek. “Here…”
I closed my eyes and pushed a layer of energy out of me. A layer of emotions. Everything that happened from the moment I saw him take Mika’s hand and her bite into him to watching everyone and realizing I didn’t want to go. It included my need for him and how much I loved him. And it included my fear that I wouldn’t be able to be in his arms ever again.
He caught my hand in his and pulled me into his chest. “I never would have accepted her. I never would have chosen her over you. No one is above you, little one. I was just trying to get her away from you so I co
uld take care of her.”
I nodded yes, knowing that then. “But I didn’t know that when you reached out for her. And it nearly killed me.”
“I’m so sorry.” He kissed the top of my head. “What you just showed me, how you feel…”
I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. “Fate.”
His eyes softened, and he nodded. “Yes.”
His lips crashed down on mine. I moaned, the hypersensitivity that was forcing me to feel every little thing made the intensity nearly unbearably overwhelming. Just as I was getting lost in the kiss, he yanked back, looking me over. “Your injuries.”
I hadn’t felt any pain when I reentered my body. With all the confusion, I hadn’t really thought of it either. The memory of what had happened hadn’t escaped me, but the pain from the wounds certainly had.
Kane’s hands searched me, pausing on my sides as he knelt down. Gently, he pulled the torn fabric aside, ripping it more to expose the flesh below it. “Auri…”
I looked down, nervous. “What?” Not sure if I wanted to see a gaping hole in my abdomen, I looked away, cringing, waiting for the pain to settle back in.
“Auri… look.” Indrell stepped forward, her jaw slightly agape.
I looked. But what I saw gave me pause, relating to the look of awe on their faces. There was no blood. No open wound. Not even a pink scar where the knife had impaled me.
Immediately, I looked to Indrell. “Did you…”
Sarah broke free from Wulfgar and came forward, signing, “I was so worried about you! Thank you for not dying. But don’t you ever do that to us again!”
I laughed. “I’ll do my best not to.”
Others gathered closer, looking at me in awe. Hugs, handshakes, salutes. It was apparent that they were relieved at the outcome. Something I was more than grateful for since part of me was a little worried that more of them were loyal to Mika.
Seemingly, by the happy reactions I was receiving, that wasn’t the case.
Kane kept most people at bay, standing protectively by my side, save for Indrell, Sarah, Wulfgar, Aeden, Lochlin and the twins. But even that small group of people was enough to feel like the whole room descended upon me in one swoop as they all came in to look me over.