by C.J Duggan
***
I stood at the kitchen sink, slowly downing a glass of water with a shaky hand. I was grateful I was home alone, as any attempt at coherent conversation would have been lost on me. My mind was mush and had been ever since Ellie left.
Ellie was a virgin.
Could I believe anything anymore? Once I had picked myself up off the floor where I'd fallen off the bed and got over the sting of the carpet burn on my elbow, what followed was an epic confession from a blubbering Ellie that left me shocked, stunned and shocked all over again.
Ellie confessed that the reason why the boys were so mean to her was because she refused to put out, but she agreed to let people believe she had. Little did she know that those lies would end up being the only reason boys wanted to be with her.
I couldn't believe it. What about her confidence? Her knowledge? Her sage advice?
Probably stupid Cosmo magazine.
Ellie said she had adopted the certain image, the reputation she had so fully, that she didn't know who the real Ellie was anymore.
And then she met Stan.
He didn't want her for sex; he was with her because he liked her: the real Ellie.
The clincher in the surrealness of her confession was when Ellie turned to me and asked:
"So, what's it like? You know ? sex."
I had blinked frantically, and my mind had gone blank. I just couldn't process that question, not from Ellie.
I had been with Toby a mere hours before, and I still struggled to form an answer to that question.
I had given as much detail as I was comfortable with. But as I stood at the kitchen window in the comfort of my own company, I remembered every detail from last night. It had been amazing, but my body had tensed momentarily as it remembered what it had done with Sean only a night ago.