by Annie Rains
Beverly reached a hand across the table toward him, clasping cold fingers over his. “Please, Tuck, tell me you won’t keep her from me. I need her, and she needs me. I know what Crystal did was wrong but don’t hold that against us.”
He shook his head. “I would never do that to you or Maddie, Beverly. You have my word. When Maddie comes to live with me, my door will always be open to you. Maddie needs all the people she loves around her while she’s growing up. She deserves that.”
He only wished Crystal had understood that as well.
* * *
Josie stared at the email she was typing to Michelle.
Hi, Michelle,
I found a little extra time in my schedule, and the opportunity arose to work on the article you suggested. I know we didn’t formally agree on anything but I thought I’d send this your way in case you have room for it in an upcoming issue. It was so nice to chat over coffee the other day. I look forward to hearing from you!
Josie
Josie’s finger hovered over the send button as nervous butterflies fluttered around in her chest. What if Michelle didn’t like it? What if she decided another writer should do it?
Josie clicked the button and blew out a breath. Needing to blow off her nervous energy, she slipped her feet into a pair of sneakers and headed outside to see if Tuck was back yet. She knew he’d only scheduled patients for the first half of the day today because he was going to pick up the horses he’d purchased and bring them back to Hope Cottage.
She spotted his horse trailer behind the stables and headed in that direction.
“Hey,” he called, when she was halfway to him. “Just acquainting Sugar and Chestnut with their new home.”
Josie reached the horse she’d ridden a few days ago and petted her muzzle. “Hey, girl, I missed you. Did you miss me?”
The horse nudged her nose into Josie’s palm.
“I’ll take that as a yes. You’re going to love it here—I promise. This is a wonderful place.”
“You really think so?” Tuck asked.
She looked over. “Of course I do. I’m actually glad my apartment in New York got fire damage. Not because my clothes will smell like smoke for the next year but because things have worked out nicely. Springtime at Hope Cottage has been exactly what I didn’t even know I needed.”
She watched Tuck brushing the other mare for a long moment. “That looks oddly therapeutic,” she said.
“It is. Want to try?” He offered her the brush.
Once she took it, he positioned himself behind her and took hold of her hands. She probably didn’t need him to guide her on how to brush a horse but she wasn’t complaining. She liked the feel of his arms wrapped around her. That was therapeutic too.
“Long, even strokes. Just like that,” he whispered in her ear.
“I think she likes it,” Josie said.
“Of course she does. This is something my patients can do too. Equine-assisted therapy is more than riding the horses. It’s caring for them, feeding them, leading them through the field.”
They continued to brush the horse in silence, and then Tuck pulled away and watched Josie work.
“I admit I’ve never been an animal person before but I love Sugar.” She reached over to pat the horse’s shoulder. “There’s something in her eyes that makes me believe she loves me too.”
Shadow got up and moved to stand beside Josie.
“Uh-oh,” Tuck said. “I think someone is jealous.”
Josie laughed and petted Shadow as well. “Yes, I love you too, girl.”
“Maybe you’re more of an animal lover than you thought. I’ve always loved animals. Kids too.”
Josie turned her attention to him. “How did your talk with Beverly go this morning?”
“Good. We’re going to tell Maddie next week. We’ll schedule DNA testing and go from there. Beverly will continue to be a big part of Maddie’s life. That won’t change.”
Josie nodded. “Maddie is a lucky girl to have a grandmother and a father who love her so much.”
“It just makes me sick that she believes her dad didn’t want her.”
Without thinking, Josie started brushing Sugar again, needing the distraction. Is that what the child I gave up thinks? Does she even know about me?
“I would never give up my own child. Never,” Tuck continued. “A child needs to know they’re loved. Wanted. To make them feel otherwise is despicable.” There was a hardness in his tone of voice as he talked, more to himself than to her.
Josie continued to brush Sugar’s coat, keeping her gaze pinned to the rich mahogany color. She didn’t want to compare her situation with Tuck’s. She’d made a choice that Tuck hadn’t been given. By listening to him though, it sounded like he wouldn’t approve of her decision.
“Are you okay?” Tuck asked once the conversation had lulled.
Josie’s hand paused in midstroke. And crap, her eyes were stinging. “Yeah,” she lied. “I’m fine.”
“I don’t think you are.” He turned her shoulders and angled her to face him. “Did I say something?”
“No.” She laughed lightly, averting her eyes from his. “Maybe I’m just allergic to Sugar. My eyes are suddenly watering.” She wasn’t sure her story was believable. For the most part, she never lied. As a journalist, she valued the truth. But right now, she didn’t want to admit that she was upset. Tuck would want a reason, which she wasn’t ready to disclose. “I’m fine.” She handed him the brush. “And I’m happy for you. Having Maddie come to live with you will be an adjustment but it’ll be great.”
His gaze on her was heavy. “I think so too…How about dinner tonight? I got a couple of steaks at the grocery store the other day. One with your name on it. A bottle of wine too.”
“Does the wine also have my name on it?” she asked. Because she could really use a glass of it right now.
“Matter of fact, it does,” he said with a sexy smile.
“Sounds good. Can I at least help you cook this time? I feel like I’m taking advantage of you if you do all the work.”
“You can make a salad. I have the vegetables in my fridge.”
“Deal. I’ll just freshen up and meet you back at the house in about an hour.”
He bent to kiss her lips, and everything within her responded before her brain took over and reminded her of what Tuck had just said. In not so many words, he’d told her that walking away from a child was despicable. Right now, he was looking at her like she’d put the sun in the sky. Would he see her differently if he knew her secret?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Something was bothering Josie but Tuck couldn’t figure out what it was. She’d smiled enough over dinner. She’d laughed at his jokes as usual. She’d kissed him when he leaned down to brush his lips against hers. Nothing obvious was off but Tuck could feel the tension radiating off her.
“Penny for your thoughts,” he said, setting his fork down and reaching for his glass of red wine as they sat outside on the deck.
She blinked him into focus, another clue that her mind wasn’t completely with him tonight. “What?”
“You’re thinking about something. Can I ask what?”
Josie reached down to pet Shadow, who was nuzzled at her knee. “The comment you made earlier, about being despicable if you walk away from your child. Did you mean that?”
Tuck shifted, noticing something vulnerable in her gaze. What is that about? “Yeah. I never would’ve turned my back on Maddie. That’s not something I’m even capable of doing.”
With her other hand, Josie reached for her glass of wine and took a generous sip.
“Josie?”
She looked up. “It’s just…some people give up a child because it’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t make them a bad person, you know.”
He narrowed his eyes, hearing the tremble in her voice. “Are we talking about someone specific?”
“Yes…me,” she said quietly.
He took a second to pro
cess that, trying to make sense of what she was telling him. Josie was thoughtful and giving. He’d come to admire her so much since he’d first met her. She didn’t seem like a person who would act selfishly. The Josie he knew was just the opposite.
“I gave up a child in college,” she explained. “I was young, unemployed, and the father wasn’t interested in sticking around. I didn’t feel like I had a choice at the time.” She tucked an imaginary strand of hair behind her ear, sucking in a breath and making her chest rise and fall shakily. “I did it for her. So she would have a better life than I could offer,” she said, looking up at him.
Tuck swallowed. “I’m sorry if what I said earlier offended you.”
“Do you think I’m a despicable person?” she asked, her voice cracking.
“No. Josie, I was talking about my situation with Maddie. My family would’ve helped me finish college and provide for my daughter. We could’ve made it work, and I would have…I think you are one of the best people I’ve ever met. You wouldn’t have given up your baby if it wasn’t the absolute best decision. I know that because I know you.”
Her expression softened. “It was the hardest decision of my life. Part of me wanted to hold on to my baby forever. But I knew I wasn’t ready to be a mother.” She blew out a breath and turned to look out on the backyard. “I found a nice couple who’d been trying to conceive for years. They were employed, well-off, and they loved each other. That was so easy to see when I interviewed them.”
“That must have been tough.” Tuck reached across the table and took her hand. “Did you talk to anyone about this?”
She looked at him and nodded. “I saw the university counselor. After that, I focused on my studies and reminded myself it was what was best for Elizabeth. That’s what the adoptive parents named her.”
“It’s a beautiful name,” Tuck said.
“It is. It was an open adoption. I can go see her if I ever want to, but”—Josie shrugged—“I don’t want to confuse her. Her parents post pictures on social media all the time. She’s happy and healthy, and that’s all I ever wanted for her.” Josie’s eyes were shining in the moonlight.
“You are the most selfless person I’ve ever met, Josie Kellum.”
A startled expression overtook her face. “I thought you would think the opposite after hearing my story.”
“You sacrificed your needs for those of your little girl. Even now, you’re doing what’s right for her. You amaze me.”
Josie’s hair fell in her eyes as she looked down at the table.
He knew she was doing her best to keep her composure. He longed to tuck that strand of golden hair behind her ear himself and show her exactly how amazing he thought she was. “Let’s go inside. It’s time for someone to take care of your needs for a change.”
Her mouth fell open.
“Not necessarily those needs,” he said with a grin. “If you need me to just hold you, then that’s all I’ll do. Whatever you want. The night is yours.”
And he was hers. This was dangerous ground he was treading. He was a new father; he had to make up for a lot of missed time with Maddie. And some part of his heart still belonged to Renee, and always would.
But Josie had somehow captured another part of his heart. And if he wasn’t careful, she’d be taking it with her when she left.
* * *
The rain had just started when Josie had rolled out of Tuck’s bed and headed up to her apartment. Now it was a full downpour outside. Somehow her fingers typed faster and her brain circulated words and ideas more efficiently when the rain was coming down. She’d finished up an article proposal for Bart that she wasn’t at all excited to write—in fact, she almost hoped he turned it down. Now she opened her email to peruse any new messages. Topping the list was one from Michelle at Carolina Home magazine.
Josie clicked on the email and started to read, her heart skipping around in her chest.
Good morning, Josie,
I just wanted you to know that I absolutely loved reading Mary and Danny’s story. I’d like to publish the article in an upcoming issue of Carolina Home. Maybe we can talk more in depth about this later today? Let me know. If I may be so bold, maybe we can discuss your next article for us as well.
Talk to you soon,
Michelle
Josie laughed out loud. Why was she so happy about getting Michelle’s approval? She wasn’t sure but it felt good.
She typed a quick response telling Michelle she would love to meet over coffee today if she was available. That would mean riding her bike through the rain, however. Josie frowned. Maybe Tuck could drop her off before one of his appointments downtown. Added bonus was that she’d get a little extra time with him.
It was seven a.m. now. Tuck would be awake and probably getting ready for the day ahead. She pulled on a raincoat and headed out the door and across the lawn. She knocked lightly on Tuck’s back door, hearing Shadow’s answering bark inside.
Tuck opened the door. “You’re getting wet out there,” he said, gesturing her inside.
She stepped over the threshold and pulled off the hood of her raincoat. “Thanks.” Then she went up on her toes to give him a good-morning kiss.
“Now that’s how I should’ve started my morning.”
“Sorry. When the inspiration hits, I have to work.” At least that was the old Josie’s way of thinking. Something had shifted slightly since she’d been in Sweetwater Springs though. She still had a strong work ethic but her one-track mind had two tracks now. Work and Tuck.
“Did you just come over for my coffee?” he asked.
“I’d love a cup. I also came to ask for a favor,” she said, pulling her lower lip between her teeth and biting down.
“Oh yeah? What kind of favor?” he asked as he walked across the kitchen and grabbed a mug from the cabinet.
Josie slid into a chair at the table. “Michelle just emailed, and she wants to talk about my article.”
He placed a full cup of coffee in front of her. Josie took the cup between her hands, lifting it to her mouth for a sip. “This is so much better than the stuff I have in my apartment.”
Tuck sat down beside her with his own full mug. “Did Michelle like the article?” he asked.
Josie shrugged. “She said she loved it.”
“That’s great.”
“She wants to meet. The problem is it’s supposed to rain all day, which would mean riding my bike for a mile and getting soaked.”
“I don’t mind dropping you off,” Tuck said. “It’s only a mile or two down the road so it’s not much trouble. Plus, any chance I get to spend with you is worth it. I’m seeing Claire Donovan again at twelve thirty. Is that a good time for you?”
“Perfect, actually.” Josie leaned over and planted a quick kiss on his mouth. “Thank you.”
“Anything else I can do for you?” he asked. “Anything at all,” he added with a gravelly tone to his voice.
Oh, I’m in so much trouble. And she didn’t mind a bit. “Maybe later. I’m a little nervous to meet with Michelle again, and I’m not sure why.” She took another sip from her coffee.
“You probably have as much journalistic experience as she does, if not more. There’s nothing to worry about, especially if she told you she loves what you wrote.”
“And there’s no real job potential at Carolina Home magazine. I’m not even sure Michelle is hiring right now, so…”
“It’s always flattering to have someone enjoy your work. Congratulations. Do you want me to pick you up after I’m done with my appointment with Claire?”
Josie shook her head. “No, I’ll find my way back. I can call a cab or get Kaitlyn to take me home. I don’t know how long Michelle and I will talk.”
“Well, you have my cell phone number, and you can call me if you change your mind. You’re not an inconvenience. You mean a lot to me, Josie,” he said, reminding her of something similar he’d said last night.
He was always saying exactly the right th
ing, and they didn’t feel like empty words. They felt rich and full, and they warmed her up as she dried from her sprint through the rain.
* * *
After dropping Josie off at the Sweetwater Café for her lunch meeting, Tuck continued toward the downtown parking lot. Once he came to a stop, he checked his phone and noted that Claire Donovan had canceled her appointment.
He sighed. The appointment he’d scheduled with Mr. Garrison, his lawyer, wasn’t for another two hours, and since he was right at Little Shop of Flowers, he decided to go see Halona. Pulling the hood of his rain jacket over his head, he stepped out into the downpour and ran for the cover of the awning.
“Hey, stranger,” she said as he walked in. “You here for flowers?” she asked. “I think you should hold off. The rain isn’t expected to stop until tomorrow.”
She was referring to his weekly habit of placing arrangements on Renee’s grave site.
“No flowers today. I just got a cancellation with Claire and thought I’d stop in.”
Halona tipped her head toward the back room. “I have coffee, and business is slow.”
“Sounds perfect.” Tuck followed Halona into the back room and watched as she poured him his third cup of the day. At this rate, he might not sleep for the rest of the week. That might have more to do with Josie, though, than how much caffeine he consumed.
“You’re going to tell me eventually so go ahead,” she finally said.
He looked up. “What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. Something’s up. It’s written all over your face. I noticed as soon as you walked in. I just can’t decide if it’s good news or bad.”
He nodded, chewing on his thoughts. He’d have to tell his family eventually. “I do have news,” he admitted. “Good news, I think. It turns out I’m related to one of my patients.”
Halona’s eyes widened. “What? Who? If you’re related, then so am I. You can’t keep that a secret.”
He looked at her. “The little girl I’ve been seeing for physical therapy. Maddie Sanders.”
Halona seemed to process this. “I remember her. She was with Josie and Kaitlyn when they stopped in the store the other day.”