With that thought, Merrick was prodded to action. He grasped Ursula’s reins as she softy huffed in the cold air. “Ready?”
“Yes, Your Highness.” He could feel Cassius’s thighs trembling against him, either from nerves or excitement.
“On one condition,” Merrick remarked, looking back at Cassius. He was tempting fate, treading a dangerous line, but he could not seem to help himself. “You may refer to me as Prince Merrick or simply Merrick for this trip. We are just two companions enjoying a simple horse ride together.”
There was a long pause as Cassius considered his request.
“As you wish, Prince Merrick,” Cassius replied, and Merrick huffed out a breath.
“Thank you.” He placed his heels against Ursula’s haunches and dug in ever so slightly, his signal for her to take off at a trot. “Hold on.”
Ursula cantered forward, and Cassius was forced to clutch at him, except he only changed his grip slightly, and Merrick was concerned he’d accidentally slip off the horse.
Sensing the valet’s hesitation, he shouted over his shoulder. “I don’t bite.” He heard Cassius snicker. “I also will not think any less of you if you decide to hold on properly. I promise.”
A moment later, Cassius slid his hands around Merrick’s midsection, clasping his hands together in a near-death grip as they began sailing through the woods. He heard Cassius’s exhilarated chuckles, and his heart clenched that he could give him this moment of joy.
After several long minutes, Ursula slowed to a trot at a small clearing surrounded on all sides by a line of narrow pine trees. “Here we are.”
After they dismounted, Cassius glanced around the space, at the tops of the trees forming a canopy of sorts, secluding them. “It’s quite magical here.”
Merrick smiled. “I’ll have to agree.”
Cassius tied Ursula to a nearby branch, and Merrick slipped his drawing pad out of the saddle.
They sat on opposite rocks in companionable silence, Merrick drawing and Cassius writing, possibly inspired by the ride or the new location. It was the most content Merrick had felt in a good, long while.
But too soon, the light faded, and disappointment clung to Merrick’s insides.
“We’ll need to head back.” Merrick stood and tore a page from his pad, then walked toward Cassius with an outstretched hand. “For you.”
Cassius, mouth gaping open, glanced down at his likeness on the page. It wasn’t Merrick’s best work, but hopefully his inspiration made up for it. “I thought…maybe your family would like to have it. To know you are…well cared for and…safe.”
Cassius’s eyes softened as he glanced at Merrick, then back down at the page. “Thank you, Your Hi…Merrick.”
Merrick’s breath caught in his throat at hearing that one simple word. Merrick. Not that he hadn’t been called by his birth name previous to this. But coming from Cassius, knowing how little of himself he gave away, it somehow meant more.
They shared a long, contented look that seemed to last for ages…until Ursula whinnied, breaking them out of their reverie.
“The woods are growing dark,” Merrick remarked. “I know of a shortcut.”
They hastily mounted the horse and began the journey back to the castle. Merrick pointed up ahead at a fork in the path to warn Cassius of the upcoming change in terrain. “We must go down a steep trail. But this will cut ten minutes off our ride.”
As Ursula cautiously descended the hill, Merrick tightened his fingers on the reins, angling his body backward to take the brunt of the sudden shift. Gravity altered at a sharp angle, pulling both of them toward the ground. They were strapped so tightly together that Merrick could feel every part of Cassius’s torso—from his broad shoulders to his flat stomach—as well as his hot breath on his nape.
The only sound was of snapping twigs beneath Ursula’s hooves as they concentrated on the task. As they neared the bottom, Merrick could feel Cassius’s thighs squeeze tighter around him as an almost inaudible gasp sprang from his mouth. Merrick was confused at first, wondering if Cassius was anxious about the rest of the ride, but then he felt it, a growing hardness against his buttocks, and Merrick thought he surely must be dreaming it.
Once they were on level ground, Ursula began a full trot again as Cassius tightened his grip on Merrick’s waist. But the bulge did not disappear—it only grew harder. And Merrick felt his own prick lengthening in response, his breaths growing ragged. He held in a shiver that was sure to wrack his body at any moment.
When they neared the rock where he first saw Cassius writing earlier in the day, he pulled on the reins, and Ursula slowed to a stop. Suddenly Cassius pushed away from him and dismounted the horse, nearly catching his leg in the stirrup as he scrambled to get farther away.
His cheeks were flushed, and he refused to look at Merrick. “I must prepare for your evening, Your Highness.”
The air caught in his lungs. “No, Cassius, wait. There is something we should—”
Suddenly a voice rang out near the castle. “Your Highness!” And then two figures appeared around the bend—Marjorie’s lady maid, Isabella, and Valor, who worked in the kitchens.
Merrick and Cassius froze in place as they neared.
“Lady Marjorie asked me to find you, Your Highness.”
“Whatever for?” Merrick huffed in exasperation.
“There’s been a change in dinner plans. Her Majesty has included additional guests at the table. The Wellington family was invited along with their daughter, Penelope.”
Christ, Mother. Not tonight of all nights. Not after—
His skin felt so tight, stretched across his bones, as a hot brand of frustration pierced his chest.
“All right. But why were you needed to fetch me?” He looked down at his watch, realizing it was later than he’d initially planned.
“Because they have already arrived, Your Highness.”
Merrick’s eyes flew directly to Cassius’s, and their alarm mirrored each other’s.
Without Merrick having to utter further instructions, Cassius took off toward the castle to prepare his wardrobe, barking an order to his friend Valor. “Please, take Ursula back to the stables. Follow me, Your Highness.”
14
Cassius
Cassius’s head was spinning as he continued toward the castle. He fought to school his features as he waited for the prince. He could still feel Prince Merrick’s warmth between his thighs and against his chest. To have his arms around the prince that way…it had been incredible, the kind of dream he would never have allowed himself to have, but which sneaked past his defenses anyway.
Cassius did not waste time with foolish thoughts outside of his stories and poems, and yet that moment with Merrick felt like the most brilliant, foolish thought he could have. As unwise as it was, he’d wanted it to linger.
“Cassius.” The prince interrupted his thoughts.
He could tell from the curious sound of Prince Merrick’s voice that he would remark about the whole incident, so he shook his head. “Please, Your Highness, we must go. We must hurry. You are already late.”
It was strange how he knew that because he’d spoken that way, the prince would concede. If Cassius hadn’t made it about himself and his position within the castle, he knew the subject would have been pushed.
Because he is a kind man. Because he would not want me to get into trouble. He knew those thoughts to be true as anger at himself filled his gut. He should never have gone on that ride, and he should never have allowed himself to get to know the prince as he now felt he did.
“Of course,” the prince replied. “But I would like to—”
“Through the kitchen, Your Highness,” he interrupted. “If we take the back entrance, we can ascend the rear stairs without being noticed.”
The corners of the prince’s mouth turned down slightly. The edges of his eyes creased, and Cassius felt as if he’d let Prince Merrick down in some way. Before the prince could speak again, Cas b
egan to walk. They didn’t have time to linger, and he didn’t want to give himself even a moment to remember again what it was like to ride with the prince, to feel as if he flew with him, or the way his body responded. Christ, how could his prick have gotten hard with Prince Merrick?
Why didn’t he shove me away?
They were quiet the rest of the journey to the prince’s quarters. Some of the staff had given them strange looks, but a firm “Not a word of this” from the prince secured their silence.
Cassius speedily prepared Prince Merrick’s clothes, fought not to allow his eyes to linger or his hands to show any of the connection they yearned for as he dressed the other man.
His fingers sought skin. He desired to know what the prince felt like, how his stomach would move against Cassius’s hand without clothes and coats between them.
Was it him, or did the prince hold his breath? Did his eyes look heavy-lidded and his pupils dilated when Cassius’s right forefinger briefly touched his neck? “All finished, Your Highness.” Cassius stepped backward sharply before bowing his head. “Please hurry. Your… Lady Penelope Wellington will be waiting for you.”
The words tasted bitter on his tongue but were the reminder he needed. The prince blinked rapidly a few times as though Cassius had awoken him from some kind of spell. Maybe this was all a dream, a fairy tale in Cassius’s mind.
“Yes, of course. Thank you for your assistance, Cassius. I don’t require anything else of you.” The words were a lash of a whip against Cassius’s skin, though they shouldn’t have been.
“Yes, Your Highness,” he replied and with another bow, slipped from the room.
Cassius avoided the staff as much as possible, going straight for his chamber. He wasn’t surprised to see Valor standing beside his door.
“Fucking hell. What was that, Cas?” Valor’s voice was sharp and much too loud for Cassius’s liking.
“Quiet your voice. It was only a ride,” he replied as he shoved into his chamber, his only friend in the world at his heels.
There was a soft click behind him, ensuring their privacy. This time, Valor’s voice was lower when he asked, “What was that? You were riding with Prince Merrick.”
“Why are you asking what it was if you clearly know?” Cassius replied with his back to Valor.
“You know what I mean. You were on a private ride, upon one horse with the prince of Evergreen. Have you lost your fucking head?”
Cassius whipped around, facing him. “Mind your place.”
“You’re my friend.”
“It was nothing. What could it possibly be? He is a prince. He is a man. Aren’t I the one out of the two of us who likes stories?” He hoped his lighthearted reply changed the mood, but Valor still looked heavy, confused, worried.
“You will get hurt, Cassius. I do not know if the prince fancies men. I do not know Prince Merrick, but I know you, my friend, and you will get hurt. You don’t disappear with just anyone. I’ve never seen this look in your eyes before.” His brows knitted together. “You’re fond of him. I would bet a week’s pay on it. And even if he returned your attraction, he could never act on it.”
Cassius closed his eyes. The words beat around his chest like Ursula’s hooves upon the ground. He knew every word Valor had spoken was true. He was fond of the prince, indeed, even if it was mostly his prick that was interested…but Merrick was a prince, and he could never give in to the carnal cravings Cassius had, even if he did hunger for them too.
“I know what I’m doing.” Cassius opened his eyes. “This is my place of employ. I have a family to care for. This is nothing more than wanting my prick in him.” He bit back the anger he felt at himself for saying those things aloud. That wasn’t truly what he desired from the prince. “I will not let the wrong head lead my thoughts, my friend. You worry over nothing. You said you know me, correct? And there is nothing I would allow to interfere with my ability to care for my family.” Valor nodded slowly, but Cassius wasn’t sure if his friend believed him. “Shall we take our dinner now? I know you need all the energy you can get to keep up with Isabella.”
Valor rolled his eyes. “I have no troubles keeping anything up.” They laughed together before Valor threw his arm around Cassius’s shoulders. “This is the last thing I will say and only because I care about you. Be careful, more careful than you’re being now, and I am always here for you, my friend.”
Cassius nodded, appreciating Valor more than he could admit. “Thank you. I’m always here for you as well.”
When Valor pulled away, Cassius shrugged out of his coat. Valor sat on his bed and waited as Cassius changed his shoes, and then they went to the kitchen where they shared dinner with the rest of the staff. Everyone laughed and talked, but Cassius’s head wasn’t in it. His mind was with the prince…and their day.
“You may refer to me as Prince Merrick or simply Merrick for this trip. We are just two companions enjoying a simple horse ride together.”
“I don’t bite.”
“I thought…maybe your family would like to have it. To know you are…well cared for and…safe.”
What the prince had done for him…drawing his likeness with such skill and for Cassius’s family…why would he do something like that? He couldn’t make sense of it, not from their time in the barn, nor from their ride today. The truth lingered there, teased the edges of his brain, but Cassius couldn’t let himself believe it. There was no way Prince Merrick could be interested in him. Unless it was as Valor said and what Cassius knew to be true: men sometimes lay with other men, even if just to satisfy their carnal urges.
But that did not feel like Prince Merrick. He didn’t seem to be the kind of man who did such a thing. I don’t know him, not truly. Why am I pretending I do?
“Did you see Penelope Wellington? If the prince doesn’t fancy her, I think it might be to the insane asylum for him!” Theodore, one of the staff, said. A few people laughed, but others shushed him, looking around as though they feared getting caught.
White-hot anger sliced through Cassius.
“What is wrong with you! Don’t say such a thing so loudly!” Valor scolded him before his eyes darted to Cassius.
“It was merely a joke,” Theodore said.
“An inappropriate one,” Valor replied. The table was quieter after that. Cassius pushed his plate away and tried to prevent thoughts of Prince Merrick and Penelope from weighing heavily on his mind. She would be what he wanted. She would be who he’d have, and Cassius had been the idiot servant who got a hard-on during a simple horseback ride.
The rest of the meal went by in a fog. The staff played cards and laughed, but Cassius couldn’t find it in himself to join them. He heard the whispers, felt the stares, but he did not care. Still, he didn’t retire to his chamber, knowing if he did, he would obsess upon things he had no business obsessing upon.
It was a couple of hours later, after brandy in the parlor, surely, when Harris came downstairs. “Cassius, Prince Merrick will be retiring to bed soon, and he asked that I fetch you. He’ll require your assistance.”
Cassius’s stomach tumbled like Elizabeth rolling down her favorite hill at the park. He didn’t have to look to know Valor stared at him. He could feel the intensity of his gaze.
He pushed to his feet and cleared this throat. “Thank you, Harris,” he replied before the two of them climbed the staff stairs.
His throat burned uncomfortably, though it shouldn’t have. This was his responsibility. He was here to care for the prince, and that was all this was. He needed to remind himself of that.
He followed Harris to the parlor. The moment he stepped in, his gaze immediately snagged upon the prince, who stood by the hearth, a woman’s hand on his arm, her head thrown back in laughter.
A heaviness pressed down upon Cassius’s chest, and then…then Merrick’s gaze clashed with his—as though he’d known Cassius had entered the room—and held on.
He looked…sad. How could he look sad with the elegant woman on
his arm?
Prince Merrick’s stare jerked away, and sudden anger lit a fire in Cassius’s gut in a way it shouldn’t have. He was angry at the prince for being kind to him. Angry at him for the drawing sitting in Cassius’s coat pocket. Angry for the ride. He knew he had no right to feel that way, to be cross with the prince, but he was, and that only made him more enraged at himself as well.
Prince Merrick continued his conversation with Penelope. Her blonde hair fell in ringlets around her face, and her breasts were plump. Cassius figured if he’d fancied women, she would be the kind he’d like. Valor had tried to explain to him the joys of a woman’s breasts, but he still did not get it. Though he guessed Valor would not understand the joys of another man’s prick either.
She laughed a lot, he noticed. Yes, Prince Merrick was funny, but was he that humorous?
Every few moments, the prince would glance at Cassius before quickly looking away. His eyes were different, though Cassius could not explain why. Was he uncomfortable because of Cassius’s erection earlier? Did he think Cassius would speak of it? He didn’t plan to. Not ever.
Cassius might have had a guilty conscience, but he could have sworn Princess Marjorie watched him more often than the prince did.
When Mr. Wellington finally announced their departure, Cassius knew he had not been in the parlor long, though it certainly felt like it.
“It was lovely of Lady Penelope and her family to join us on such short notice, wasn’t it, Merrick?” the queen asked with a smile on her pretty face.
“Yes, Mother,” Merrick replied before he turned his gaze upon Lady Penelope. “It was delightful to share your company this evening.”
She smiled, her cheeks turning pink, and said, “You as well, Prince Merrick. I had a wonderful time.”
Ever After (Forbidden Love #1) Page 9