“Are we still fairly close to Wandermere?” he asked, recalling the park and the town they passed through earlier.
He heard an intake of air. “Yes…why?”
“Take me there?” Merrick begged, feeling more than ever that it was his greatest wish.
“No, I shouldn’t,” Cassius replied in a panicked voice.
“Please.” Merrick reached forward and placed his hand on Cassius’s shoulder. “I’d very much like to meet your family.”
Cassius pulled suddenly to the side of the road and turned to seek Merrick’s gaze. “Why would you request such a thing?”
“Because they are part of your life, and I long to know more of you.”
24
Cassius
I long to know more of you.”
The prince’s declaration hung heavy in the air. There was a part of Cassius that needed to say no. It was one thing to speak of his family, but to introduce Merrick to them was a different matter completely. It would be laying himself bare in the most vulnerable of ways. Being raw, his chest cut open, and Merrick seeing his bruised, beating heart. It was his instinct to protect that vital muscle in his chest. He had not even taken Valor home before.
But there was another part of him, perhaps a stronger piece of his soul, that longed to do just as the prince requested. He yearned for Merrick to know more of him too. For Merrick to know all of him. He yearned to crack his own chest open and show the prince not only his heart, but his soul.
“Cassius?” Merrick broke through his thoughts. “You do not have to. I only…I thought perhaps you might enjoy it.”
“Yes,” Cassius replied before he could talk himself out of it. “I would like that…but are you certain we have time? I do not wish to cause trouble.”
“You are never trouble, Cas.”
He caught Merrick’s dark eyes in the mirror briefly, longed to run his fingers through the soft strands of his hair.
To know he was not trouble to someone like Prince Merrick…that he was important… “Thank you” was all Cassius could bring himself to say. He was thanking the prince for his words, for giving Cassius his family today, and for the time they shared together that made Cas feel complete for the first time in his life.
“You do not have to thank me. This is for me as much as it is for you.”
Cassius didn’t know how it could be.
The snow continued to fall as Cassius drove to his family home. They were quiet, and he knew Merrick was giving him time. Cassius didn’t know how the prince knew him so well, but he did.
His heart beat harder as they approached his family’s small cottage. A sharp fear clung to him, and he could not deny there wasn’t embarrassment twined there too. His world was so different from that of Merrick’s life. Would he look at Cassius differently? That thought only made Cas angrier at himself. Merrick was not so superficial…and if he was, Cas would not care for him with the intensity he did.
His family, though… How would he explain Prince Merrick accompanying him? “We should say you were feeling ill…car sickness, perhaps.” Cassius’s eyes darted to the mirror.
Strangely, it was Merrick whose gaze darted away first in what appeared to be sorrow. “Yes, of course.”
“Merrick?” Cassius asked as he pulled up to the cottage.
“It is fine. I…”
“I wish it was different as well,” Cassius completed Merrick’s sentence.
“We are the same, you and I, Cas. To the marrow of our bones, we are but one.”
Emotion he could not allow himself to name welled up in his chest. He nodded without a word before tugging on his knitted hat and exiting the motorcar.
A blast of frigid air stung Cassius’s cheeks as he walked around the automobile and opened the door for his prince. “Come. The temperature has dropped even more.” Cassius hurried Merrick toward the house and opened the door. “Mother? Emily? Elizabeth?” he called as they stepped inside.
His mother sat at the table, in the chair she was trapped in, a book in front of her. A smile pulled at her lips for a brief second before her eyes landed upon the prince and grew wide.
She bowed her head. “Your Highness… I…”
Guilt raced through Cas, swift and powerful as Ursula galloping through the forest. He should have come in first to warn them, yet he had been so concerned with getting Merrick out of the cold that he hadn’t thought of it.
“It is a pleasure, Your Highness. Would you like some tea?” His mother attempted to roll herself away from the table, but Merrick held up his hand.
“Please, do not go through the trouble for me.” And then Merrick walked toward her, looked at her…and bowed.
The prince of Evergreen had just bowed to Cassius’s mother. Words stuck in Cas’s throat.
“The pleasure is mine,” Merrick continued.
His mother let out a soft gasp of shock. “I…thank you, Your Highness.”
“I would much like to call you by your name, if that is okay.” Merrick flashed Cassius a grin, and he realized he had not given the prince her name.
“Annabelle Havendale,” Cassius told him.
“Mrs. Havendale.”
His mother shook her head. “Please, call me Annabelle…if you wish, Your Highness.”
Merrick smiled. “Annabelle it is.”
There was the sound of a door in the background before light feet quickly padded across the floor. “Cassius!” Elizabeth flew past Merrick, as though the prince was not there, and threw herself into Cas’s arms. He caught her, hugged her tight, smelled her hair.
“Hello, little one.” Cassius kissed her forehead.
“I am so glad you’re home,” she replied.
“I am glad I’m home too, but we have a visitor. Prince Merrick was feeling ill, so we stopped for a few moments. Greet him properly, please.”
Elizabeth pulled back. She did not wear the same confusion his mother did, being too young to understand what it meant to have the prince in their home. But she did bow as she should. “Hello, Your Highness.”
“Hello, Elizabeth.” Merrick knelt in front of her. “That is a pretty dress.”
“Thank you. Em made it. She said I look like a princess.”
It was Merrick’s turn to smile. “You do. Princess Marjorie would say the same. She would love it.”
“You look like Cassius’s prince,” she said, and Cas nearly swallowed his tongue.
“Lizzy, he is the prince for all of us. Please apologize.” His mother sounded nervous, uncomfortable.
“It’s fine.” Merrick turned to her and smiled. “And who is Cassius’s prince you speak of?” he asked with mischief in his voice.
“In our last letter, he wrote me a short story of a prince with hair like cinnamon, and he looked like you.”
Cas’s cheeks burned, though he knew they should not. He and the prince were intimate enough that it should have banished his blush ages ago.
“I am honored,” Merrick replied before he stood again. “Is Emily not here?”
Cassius saw his mother’s eyes widen again, likely because Merrick seemed to know his family so well. Cas felt a warmth in his chest. He wanted nothing more than for Merrick to know them…for his family to know Merrick.
Christ, what am I doing?
Valor was right. He was going to get hurt.
“She is always grumpy now…and sad.”
A pang sliced through Cas’s chest. He missed her. God, he missed his Em. He felt Merrick’s eyes on him, felt the compassion in them as if it was a hug, though Merrick was not touching him. But Cas didn’t return his stare. It was too painful.
“I shall fetch her, Your Highness,” Cassius replied.
“May I accompany you?” the prince asked.
“I…” His prince would undo him. This was for Cassius. He knew it was. “Yes, Your Highness.”
The house was small, and it did not take many steps to get from the table to the hallway but as they went, he felt Merrick’s fingers soft
ly, briefly brush against his in support. Cassius felt that touch in his chest, in the very muscle he’d been so concerned with in the car, and he thought he would not have to cut his chest open for Merrick to know his heart and soul. He already had.
“She will come around,” Merrick whispered.
“I…” Cassius did not know how to reply with words, so he did so with his fingers dancing upon the prince’s cheek. Before they could be caught, he pulled his hand away. “Thank you,” he replied as his brain caught up with his heart, and Cassius allowed himself to admit the truth that already lived inside him. Merrick had more than seen his heart; it belonged to him.
His fist rapped on the door, and they heard a mumbled, “Come in.”
Cassius opened it to see Emily sitting on her bed, knitting, yet before he could walk inside, Merrick asked, “May I?”
Emily’s eyes snapped up at that before she shoved to her feet and bowed. “Your Highness…”
“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Merrick replied. “Cassius has told me a great deal about you. He is very fond of you. I hope you will allow me to take a moment to speak to you myself.”
Emily’s cheeks reddened as she nodded.
“What are you making?” Merrick walked in, and slowly, ever so slowly, Cassius walked away.
“Um…a hat, Your Highness. They are my favorite to knit.”
They are my favorite too, Cas thought as he slipped away.
The moment his mother saw him, the truth was there in her eyes—she knew. He had never told her his preferences, yet she knew not only that he favored men, but that he favored the prince.
“Oh, Cas,” she whispered. “You cannot do this, sweet boy. Tell me you know you cannot do this.”
He didn’t ask her how she knew, or how long. He only nodded and answered, “I know, Mother. I will be fine.”
But he wouldn’t. When he lost Merrick, he would be anything but fine.
25
Merrick
Do you not wear a covering for your head?” Emily asked, studying Merrick from the scarf tied beneath his chin to the auburn locks of hair near his temple. He did not feel strange under her scrutiny. Instead, it felt like genuine curiosity. “You’ll be sure to catch a cold.”
“I suppose I never considered that,” Merrick replied, glancing through the small bedroom window at the swirling snow outside. “Cassius certainly seems warm.”
“I shall knit you one,” she remarked with a fiery determination in her eyes, and Merrick recalled how Cassius’s description of her included the same sort of prideful resolve he also possessed.
“I would like that very much,” Merrick replied as he glanced around the modest room. He knew Cassius worried about how their meager living arrangements would appear to someone used to lavish surroundings. But to Merrick, it was charming, lived in, and had history. Love lived here, and it warmed his stomach.
His gaze landed on the nightstand beside Emily’s bed, where a photo of a handsome older gentleman was displayed, more than likely their father. And beside the frame was his drawing of Cassius. The likeness between them was uncanny.
“I drew this one day in the forest. Did Cassius tell you?” Merrick asked, motioning to the image, and Emily nodded. “I hoped you would see that…that he is always safe with me at the castle.”
When her eyes softened briefly, it was another glimpse into her bruised heart. He longed to help in some way, to ease her pain and worry, but he didn’t know how. Cassius seemed to carry the same burden, and it made his chest ache.
When he spotted a writing pad alongside some pencils she no doubt used for schoolwork, Merrick walked over to the desk. “Do you think we should surprise him with something from you?”
“You would like to sketch me?” Her eyes were wide and glittering, with a hint of awe.
“If I may?” he replied, settling himself on the chair at her desk and reaching for the pad. “I like to keep my skills sharp just like you must with your knitting.”
He began a rudimentary sketch as he asked more about her hobby.
“I use wool yarn because it helps to keep the chill out.” Her eyes lit up as she spoke. “I’ve made a scarf for each of my teachers as well.”
After another minute, they fell into a companionable silence as if they were just two friends working side by side. She had the habit of biting her lip as she worked, just like Cassius, and it made Merrick smile.
“Do you enjoy living in a castle?” she asked as she concentrated on the points of her knitting needles. “The girls at school think Princess Marjorie stays in the highest peak north of the castle—like Rapunzel.”
“Do they now?” Merrick replied with amusement, recalling the fairy tale. “And do they think a handsome prince will come to her rescue?”
She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I do not like that version. One time, Cassius told us a story where the princess rescued a handsome but wretched young man and they lived happily ever after in the castle. That was more to my liking.”
Merrick chuckled. “Princess Marjorie would definitely like that version as well.”
He suddenly felt guilty that he hadn’t spent enough time of late with his own sister, and he vowed to remedy that soon. Marjorie would certainly like Emily because she possessed the same fire that came from somewhere within. She’d enjoy Elizabeth and Annabelle too.
“Cassius speaks of you often,” he remarked as he studied the arch of her eyebrow on the page. It wasn’t his best work, but he was talented enough to capture her likeness with a few more sweeping arcs of the pencil.
“You have become friends, then?” she asked hesitantly, as if unsure whether it was her place to ask such a thing of the prince of Evergreen.
“Yes, we have become good companions.” His chest ached at the truth of his own words.
She nodded and looked down at her pattern. “I am glad. He could use a good friend.”
“It sounds like you miss him,” Merrick replied in a gentle voice. “I know he desperately misses you.”
Her gaze flew up to meet his. “I do not want him to worry. I know he thinks I am cross with him.”
Merrick’s eyebrows drew together. “You are not?”
She shook her head and looked down. “I am only sad and lonely for him. I miss him, and the feeling is sometimes stronger after we speak.”
Merrick felt like there was a boulder lodged in his throat. He longed to invite Cas’s family to the castle, but his parents, as well as the entire staff, would think he’d gone mad. He did not want to bring Cassius any more trouble.
After another quiet minute, Cassius appeared at the door, tentative, and glanced at them curiously.
Merrick stood up and leaned over to show Emily the sketch. Her eyes widened and gleamed. “Would you like to present it to him?” he whispered.
She nodded as she fished it from his fingers, her gaze never leaving the paper as she marveled over it. Merrick felt a sense of pride that he could please her so.
Finally, she held the drawing out to her brother. “This is for you…so that you’ll know I’m all right.”
Cassius’s breath caught even as his eyes misted over. Something passed between the siblings across the small space, and as Cassius stepped forward to pull his sister into a hug, Merrick slipped out of the room to give them privacy.
“It was so lovely to meet you,” Merrick said, bowing again to Annabelle. “I hope my visit wasn’t too much trouble.”
“Not at all. It was wonderful to see my son…and to meet you.” Her cheeks flushed, and she glanced down at her lap, which was covered with a blanket. “I made some tea to get you both warm. I added a peppermint stick to help settle your stomach.”
Annabelle proceeded to pour from the teapot, and Merrick picked up the steaming cup and sipped at it gratefully. “It is delicious. Thank you.”
As she studied him curiously, there was something knowing in her gaze, and it gave Merrick pause. Just as she was about to ask something, Cassius and Emily joined th
em in the kitchen. Their mother smiled warmly at their clasped fingers and the drawing in Cassius’s other hand.
Cassius met his gaze. “We must be getting back on the road now.”
Annabelle glanced over his shoulder to the window, where the flakes were dancing against the glass. “Be careful.”
After they said their goodbyes, Merrick slid into the back seat, knowing many pairs of eyes were on them from not only inside the house, but the neighbor’s as well. It wasn’t every day that a black, polished motorcar drove into the modest Wandermere neighborhood. Thankfully though, royal cars were unmarked so as not to call too much attention while traveling. But the people of Evergreen were dutiful and resolute, and royalty moving around them wasn’t anything they got up in arms about. They had more important things to tend to, and that made Merrick proud to serve them.
The snow was falling heavily, and Cassius kept his eyes on the nearly deserted road ahead of him. It wasn’t until the valet made his way to the winding canyon that would take them back toward Pinewood Castle that he finally spoke.
“Thank you for that, Merrick.”
“No, thank you. Your family is lovely, and I can see why you miss them so.”
But just as he said the words, they drove over an icy patch of road and the car jolted wildly to the left and began spinning. Merrick held on to the back of the seat as Cassius’s hands moved swiftly over the wheel, counterclockwise, in an attempt to gain control of the motorcar. Just as they were about to land in a ditch, the car straightened out on the side of the road.
“Are you okay, Your Highness?” Cassius asked in a frightened tone.
“I’m okay, only startled,” he replied with a hefty pant, his pulse pitched. “Nice work handling the vehicle.”
As Cassius’s heavy breaths fogged up the front seat windows, Merrick knew the roads were too treacherous for them to traverse in the dark. “We should find lodging for the night.”
Cassius’s eyes widened in the mirror. “No, I can—”
“It is too dangerous,” Merrick replied fervently. It was not worth it if it cost them their lives. But at least they’d be together, Merrick thought as a shiver raced up his spine.
Ever After (Forbidden Love #1) Page 16