by Joseph Calev
There was no way out of this. I turned toward the villagers just as another burst into pieces at contact.
“Give me a warning, will you!” I yelled.
“What? Do you not expect there to be bumps and accidents?”
Another one exploded into me, and I sighed and faced them. I held out my hand, which was shaking. The villagers noticed and continued to scream in terror.
I thought back to my parents while another burst apart. I’d touched them plenty of times. They’d probably held me as a baby, or maybe not. After all, I wasn’t a tablet. Another damn villager exploded while I was deep in thought. How did I do this?
For the next one, I grabbed her before she reached me, but only succeeded in disintegrating her arm and lungs. I took care of the rest since her eyes were bulging. There had to be some trick to this.
I remembered back to what Raynee had said. Everything was simply bits. They were just turnips. I wasn’t seeing these people correctly. That’s what my problem was. Every person here was just collections of particles. If I could visualize them as that, then I could keep them away from me.
I closed my eyes and heard another one go splat. No. That didn’t work. This wasn’t resonance. I opened them again to witness another villager dying. And then I saw it.
All around me were trillions, maybe quadrillions or more, of particles. Though there were so many, I could count them. When the next victim burst, I saw every particle disappear. Each ceased to exist when it ran into me. I had to figure out a way to keep us separate.
Another died while I moved his particles back and forth. That one threw up on me just before he went. Of course, the barf disintegrated too, but I’d caused that. It was progress.
One-by-one, each villager was marched to his or her death while I desperately tried to control the right particles, and enough of them to create a barrier. After an endless stream of agony and cries, only the original little boy was left. He was trembling.
Yet, he was also smaller. There weren’t so many particles to correct. While he screamed, I raised my hand to request the guard not to toss him, then walked forward on my own accord. I knelt next to him, and reached out my hand.
The little boy gave me a fierce stare, then held out his hand. With every bit of my concentration, I latched onto every particle on his skin and created a thin coat around them. We shook hands.
When the Khan nodded her approval, the boy pulled his hand back. The guard approached and held out his saber. The Khan shook her head, then approached.
“You’re a feisty one, aren’t you?” she said with soft words.
He said nothing while his stomach heaved up and down.
“Well, we can’t leave you here now, so you’ll travel with us. What’s your name?”
“Temujin.” His eyes were still trained on me.
“Well, little Temujin, I think we’ll see great things from you. Don’t ever lose that anger.”
I wanted so desperately to forget avalance and plunge my fist into her. I was close enough. But I also didn’t know my way home.
“And now you know your way back. I’ll let you figure out yourself how to get between lower dimensions, but to reach your paramount dimension, just avalate yourself. You’ll be right where you started.”
I didn’t thank her. The methods weren’t worth the lesson. After turning away, I looked down and witnessed the narrow band that already separated the dimensions. She was right. My body knew the entire time how to avalate. I just wasn’t paying attention. When I pulled those particles away, I was back in the forest. Sareya was gone.
A strange guilt came over me. For some reason I felt far worse about leaving Sareya alone than murdering ninety-odd people. Yet, since I had no idea where she lived, an apology would have to wait for another day.
After walking the short distance to the house, I resonated into the living room to chat with Annie. Annie wasn’t home, but she had a visitor.
The piercing brown eyes and wavy brown hair were unmistakable. The tightened fist and clenched teeth were new. It was Raynee, and she was beyond pissed.
15
“You abandoned a little girl in the woods!” Raynee shouted.
She looked much the same as at the hospital, though for some unquantifiable reason, she was even more beautiful. Maybe it was because back then I was strapped onto a bed, and now I saw her straight on.
“Well! Why the hell did Sareya come back to my house crying?”
I shook myself out of the stupor. “Sareya? She was teaching me. How could she get lost?”
“She didn’t get lost. She freaked because you essonated away when she explicitly told you not to.”
“I wanted to explore. Here, take the gloves back.”
I handed her the essoball gloves. Raynee took a moment to cradle them in her hands, then promptly slapped me on the side of the cheek with one. “What were you thinking! And how did you even get these?”
“There was an accident at school. A kid had an attack, and in all the panic I forgot to return them.”
“So instead of helping him, you stole the gloves?”
“Actually, I—”
“You’re such a liar. I was nice to you. Here I was, thinking that maybe I’d been too tough on you earlier, but you played me the entire time.”
“I thought I was a turnip. I still don’t know why this happened to me!”
“Bullshit. You knew the entire time. It was just some twisted plan of yours to screw me.”
I paused for a moment to actually think how that could have possibly worked. She stood there with her arms crossed, and I then realized that my hesitation wasn’t helping my cause.
“I traveled to another dimension today,” I said. “Someone there knew my name.”
“So what? If you alter their minds, they do things like that.”
“I didn’t mess with her mind. I don’t even know how to do that. She taught me how to avalate. I even shook hands with one.”
She shook her head. “And how many did you murder before that happened?”
“Well, um—”
“You’re one sick asshole. And you’re all proud thinking you learned something of a higher level. I knew how to do that in the first level and I didn’t kill anyone learning it, you sick jerk.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt them.” I was in near tears. “They threw them at me. I had no choice!”
“You know, I cried myself to sleep that day I accidentally killed that man. Sure, he was a prick, but I never meant to kill him. Had I the chance, I would’ve just messed with his mind and make him screw a car exhaust. You, on the other hand, just slaughtered I-don’t-even-want-to-know-how-many people, and you’re completely calm!”
With each villager who had burst apart in front of me, I’d wanted to scream. Being a former turnip myself, I empathized with them more than she could know. However, ever since I reached this place, my only goal had been to be with Raynee. Now she was right in front of me, but farther away than ever. I had to move this to friendlier terms.
“Listen, I’m sorry about everything, but I need your help. There was a desert and some weird woman who knew my name. I need you to help me essonate back to her.”
“Help! Is this your latest game to screw me?”
I shook my head, but probably not convincingly. The reality was, though I truly did need her help, another part of me perked up at the idea.
“I did help you, asshole. Who do you think sent Sareya?”
“I thought Annie—”
“No. I sent her!” Her voice went up. “I felt bad for you. Figured you had no clue in this world, so I sent her. Then you ditched her in the middle of the woods.”
“I’m sorry I did that. I should’ve listened to her—”
“Lucky for you she taught you how to avalate back. Otherwise, you would’ve essonated to random dimensions until you starved.”
“Actually, she didn’t—”
“You know.” Her tears were now streaming. “I thought you we
re special. When you took Boongarry to the vet, I was very impressed. And then I find out you were playing me.”
“I wasn’t. I swear. Maybe, maybe if I could go to your school instead of one with little kids . . . .”
She began to laugh. “You’re so ridiculous. First, you should be groveling on the floor and begging given the shit you pulled. But no, you ask for a favor. Then you think that a moron like yourself, probably the worst student in level zero, can handle my school? This is making me sick. I’m out of here.”
She moved to resonate outside, and I immediately collapsed to the floor and pleaded. “Please! Please, don’t go! You have no idea what I’ve been through. What I lost!”
Her tears stopped, and she wiped the rest away. Raynee’s face was stone cold now. “You insensitive piece of shit.” Then she was gone.
That did not go nearly as well as I wanted. There had to be some way to fix this. Something about seeing her this way made me feel like the worst piece of excrement in existence. Yet even with an apology, there was no way she’d speak to me ever again. I would also almost certainly not see Sareya again. There was only one place to go for help.
I took out the credit card screen Annie had given me, and began reading the books on essonation for the first time in depth. There was no more of those “it’s too complicated” thoughts. After having just rearranged the particles on a boy’s hand, dimensional portals couldn’t be that bad. I had to figure out how to navigate. There was one woman who could help me. She was an evil sadistic bitch, but she was my only chance now. I had to get back there.
I studied nearly to when school began the next day. Three times the rodents tried to turn off the suns, and each time after I turned them back on, I heard a chorus of insults. Finally, when one threatened to bite my dick off if I didn’t turn out the lights, I relented and went to bed.
The next day, I paid every bit of attention while each student produced a wormhole. They weren’t the same as dimensional portals, but it was still essonation. Of course, I failed miserably when I attempted to create my own. It was as big as a finger and collapsed immediately. Still, Alina proclaimed that it was a marked improvement.
Several days later, I was beginning to understand the layout of the universes. One individual portal from ours could lead to a billion others from a single spot. Just like with avalance, where I had to deconstruct the individual particles, with essonance I needed to understand and enumerate the possible universes before me, then pick one. That’s why Sareya paused before creating a portal, and why the essoball gloves were useless. They had no idea which universe I wanted, so they just picked one.
I practiced creating a dimensional portal to the first universe I found, then avalating back. There was nothing wrong with entering the incorrect universe, but knowing how to reach home was crucial.
Finally, I returned to exactly where I’d left Sareya, and searched for the turnip patch. It was from there that I’d reached the desert world. It took me nearly a half hour of examining every inch of that place before I found it. Then it took another full hour among the turnips until I once again uncovered that hot, bleak world.
I’d never felt so glad to see a cow’s skull. I could’ve hugged the thing. Instead, I wandered toward the ruins of the first village. The Khan and her army wouldn’t be there, of course, but I had to start somewhere. The desert was a huge place, and even with my strong hearing it would be difficult to track an army of ten thousand. The village, to my complete surprise, had been completely rebuilt.
Ilyos, Jamol, and the boy stood by its edge when I arrived. I rubbed my eyes. Perhaps this was an evil mirage of the desert?
“Who is your father?” Ilyos asked.
“I have no idea. But, are you Ilyos?”
“Scout!” Jamol shouted, and instantly he was on me. I focused on his hands, carefully pulling each particle out, when his spear flew into my head.
Instantly, the metal and wood burst apart, followed by the rest of Jamol’s attached arm. Blood spewed from the stub of the limb, and he gasped for the last time and collapsed into me.
“Damn it all!” I said out loud.
The boy had taken off, yelling and screaming for help, while Ilyos backed away. Only a severed hand and two feet remained of Jamol.
“I’m not a scout. I honestly thought you guys were dead, or I wouldn’t have bothered you.”
“The Khan sends his demons!” Ilyos shouted, and backed away farther.
“Actually, the Khan is a she.”
“Go back to your hell!” He then muttered a variety of spells and incantations while he twirled a blunt staff in front of me.
“Honestly, this whole thing is a huge misunderstanding.”
“Now, leave our village and return among the demons!” Then he unexpectedly collided into me with his staff.
I now knew how that man had caught Raynee by surprise. Half of Ilyos’s head lay by my feet.
“Double damn!” The remaining villagers huddled into the largest dome.
In my frustration, I hadn’t noticed that there were ten thousand horse warriors behind me now.
“Don’t touch this one,” the same burly man said. “Summon the Khan.”
Twenty horses roamed through the camp, but I’d sufficiently scared those inside.
“I expected more from you,” a familiar voice said.
I turned to face the Khan. She had the same piercing glare and evil grin.
“Burn them all,” she said.
“Seriously! Why do you keep doing this?”
While she exclaimed, again, that it was my fault that they would die, I returned my gaze to the huts and focused on the fire. Yet every time I obtained a bit of concentration on the blazing surface, their tortured cries distracted me.
“Stop screaming!” I yelled a bit insensitively. “I can’t concentrate.”
Moments later, their cries stopped and two minutes later I learned to control the fire on the main dome and had completely extinguished it. Every other one was now only cinders. Relieved, I approached with a smile, only to find a pile of charred bodies.
“Things have never seemed normal to you, have they, Jason Bezna?”
I rolled my eyes and faced her again.
“You knew this growing up in a dimension where you never belonged.”
“Yeah, yeah. We’ve been through all that already.”
“We have?” She seemed slightly confused.
“Yes. You already went through all that crap with the doors and how I haven’t opened them all.”
“Very well. But you still haven’t mastered avalance, so we need to go to the other village.”
I groaned, then followed them and patiently waited for the warriors to round up every villager. In the meantime, I breathed deeply and concentrated on their skin. When they were finished, I calmly walked up to the little boy and held out my hand.
“Pleased to meet you.” I grasped his hand.
The boy spit at me. Paying no attention, I walked down the line and shook each of their hands. When I reached the parents, I hugged them.
“Watch out for little Temujin. He has a bit of an angry side. Could cause some damage when he grows up.”
“He kills seventeen million people,” the Khan said.
I double turned.
“The people are real, but this isn’t. He grows up to be my most trusted general. Eventually, I convince everyone that he is the Khan.”
“And he then slaughters seventeen million people?”
“More or less. I never bothered counting them.”
“What the hell is with you sick bastards?” I paused. “Did you say none of this is real?”
“What were you expecting when you returned? Let me guess: You pissed everyone off who can help you in the paramount dimension, so you came here.”
“Yeah, more or less. But why did everything repeat?”
“This entire universe exists just for you. I already said that you’re special.”
This was making
no sense. It was like a movie that restarted every time I watched. And why would someone create a universe where I murdered villagers? Why couldn’t it be something more expendable like leeches or those cursing rodents?
“So, what’s today’s lesson? Are you going to boil villagers alive and I’ll have to piece back their bodies using avalance?”
“Not a bad idea, but no. You still have much work ahead on your avalance, but you may ask any questions you wish.”
Well, I sure did have plenty of questions. This was finally the opportunity to answer them all. “Who are my mother and father?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know that.”
“Who and where is Mordriss?”
“I don’t know that, either.”
“I thought you were all knowing?”
“No. I never said I knew the answers. I only gave you permission to ask the questions.”
I sighed. Maybe something more personal would work.
“How do I receive forgiveness from a woman?”
Her head drew back and she snorted slightly. “The Khan of a Thousand Armies provides you the opportunity to pose any question, and you ask that?”
“I care for her.”
“Well, the answer is . . . you don’t.”
I squeezed my face with both hands. This wasn’t happening.
“A proper woman will never forgive you. She’ll bring up your mistakes every opportunity that works for her, until death pulls you apart. However, that won’t prevent her from loving you. Whether she loves you or not, depends on what you do after your failures, not on how you attempt to receive forgiveness for them.”
I opened my eyes again to the bright sun and gentle breeze of the desert that swirled sand to our sides.
“Who are you?”
“I am nothing,” she replied.
Raynee’s school returned to my thoughts, along with the badge and the key. Perhaps there was still hope, but I had to face her again, probably several times. There had to be a way in.
“There’s a school. It’s for the gifted, but there’s some secret inside, something I think only I can find. I want to get in. Can you teach me what I need to know? I can keep coming back here.”
Her eyes grew narrow and she stroked her chin with her hand. “I know this school. But you would need to spend years here, and even then there’s much that I can’t teach you. Only avalance and orasance can be practiced in this world. The other forces, and a great many other things, can only be learned in yours.”