by Craig Allen
She let the tablet slip from her fingers. “That’s why you can’t save me. We always thought this word was universal, a part of the human condition. No matter how different our cultures, this word would bind us. You showed us that’s not true, and that’s what terrifies us.”
She pulled her hand away from Jester’s grasp. “I’m tired. I’m so tired. I’m tired of the pills. I’m tired of waking up and reaching for the empty side of the bed. I’m tired of hurting every day. The pain never goes away.” She pointed at the pill bottle on the ground. “Even those can’t save me. I’d accepted that one day I would die, and then you came.”
Jester sat on his knees, letting the damp grass soak through his pants.
“I thought I could survive with you,” she said. “If we blissed, we would be together forever.” She picked up the tablet, the word still highlighted. “But the most horrible thing possible happened. You can’t understand this,”—she pointed at the word—“and so nothing has changed for me.”
“Help me understand.”
“Stop asking me that. I can’t. You either understand, or you don’t, and you don’t understand.” She threw the tablet, sending it skidding away across the damp grass. “I’m so tired of waiting for something to happen that can’t. I’m tired of waiting for you to understand, for you to be there for me. I’m tired of sympathetic looks from my doctor and my uncle and my friends. I’m tired of waiting to die. So just leave me. Go back to your awful world where the women bliss every day, and leave me here.”
Jester’s heart pounded. “I can’t.”
“Let me die.”
“No.”
He moved closer, closer than he had ever been to her. “I can’t. I won’t.” He searched for the words to describe what he wanted to say, but they just didn’t exist. “Ever since I saw you I’ve been thinking about you. I’d dream about you and not know why. Every time you appeared I felt…”
“What?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“I don’t know.” Jester ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t like it when you’re not around. When you are around, I feel as if nothing could go wrong. We could just sit somewhere all day and that would be fine, because you were there with me.”
She said nothing as she watched him, holding her hand to her lips.
“More than anything I want to understand this… this obsession. It’s as if I was dying of thirst and didn’t know it. Now I’m drowning.” He gave a small laugh. “I’m insane.”
She ran her hands around his neck as he spoke.
“I’m babbling, aren’t I? I don’t mean to. I think I’ve always wanted to say this, but I couldn’t put it into words. Even now, I—”
She pulled him close and pressed her lips against his. He was so shocked he didn’t know what to do, but then every thought failed him. It was electric. It was as if his mind had short-circuited. A current flowed from her to him, uniting them. He couldn’t push away, even if he wanted to.
They parted, but the sensation remained. He had to make a conscious effort to open his eyes. When he did, he saw her smiling
“Dear God,” he said. “What was that?”
She opened her mouth in surprise. “You don’t have kissing on your world?”
He tilted his head. “Is that what that is?”
“There’s no translation in your language for that word, either?”
He shook his head.
Her shoulders drooped as she stared at him. “Your people are suffering and they don’t know it.”
He gave a half smile. He was starting to suspect it was true.
She pushed herself to her knees and then stood. He stood with her, still holding her hand. “Take me home.”
She teetered for a moment, and he caught her. When she righted herself, he still kept his hand around her waist, just in case. She headed back to the car where Mr. Greyson waited patiently, a smile on his face, and Jester helped her along.
“Will you be all right?”
“Yes,” she said, “with your help.”
“But how do I help you?”
She smiled. “I’ll show you when we get home.”
~~~~
Jester thought he knew what to expect. He was wrong.
At last he understood why some of the appliances had wheels. The moved easily, as they were designed to do. As he helped her roll the refrigerator and pantry into the bedroom, he could see her face grow flusher, almost to the point of being a complete pink. She perspired, but the apartment’s temperature felt comfortable to him.
When they finished, he turned to her. “What do we—?”
She put her finger over his lips. “Shh.” She pulled off his suit jacket and let it fall to the floor. At first, she tried to undo his shirt buttons, but the dexterity in her fingers failed her. Finally, she ripped it open, sending buttons across the room. Her hands ran across his skin, the moisture in her palms gripping his skin like glue.
He ran his hands over her dress, trying to figure out how to remove it while she pulled at his belt buckle. She had his pants off while he still fumbled at the latch. He managed to pry it open, breaking it in the process. She pulled the dress over her head in a second. Their undergarments followed.
She pulled him on top of her as they fell into the bed. She pressed her lips against his chest, his neck, and on his own lips. Kissing, she called it. It was like nothing on Jester’s world. A simple touching of the lips changed everything. It increased every sensation. Every movement was almost too much to bear, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. But it wasn’t just that. It was… something he couldn’t define. Those shows on the net, showing people struggling to be together. They had gazed at each other the way she gazed at him. Every part of their lives had at least something to do with the bliss.
She was right. His people suffered.
~~~~
She clung to him as she lay on top of him. Her body was slick with moisture, but the moisture on her hands stuck to his bare skin. She could slide her hand across his body with ease, but she never broke contact.
“I was wondering about that.”
“It’s to keep you with me,” she said. “It keeps us bonded during the bliss.”
“How long is this bliss?”
She hovered over him, her breasts brushing gently against his skin. “Two days.”
“Two days?” He wrapped his arms around her. “I don’t want to admit this, but I’m not sure I can last.”
She smiled, her lips inches from his. “I have faith in you.”
~~~~
Two days flew by.
Jester barely registered the passing of night and day. After a marathon session, they slept. A few hours later, they awoke and continued. Jester expected his stamina to fail him at some point, but it never happened. No matter how long or how often, he managed to continue.
The only time they left the bed was to relieve themselves. She couldn’t disengage her hands from him, so they had to together. It worried him at first. But when she sat with him, connected to him as he relieved himself, he was fine. When she did the same, he didn’t feel a shred of disgust. Such a thing would’ve deeply disturbed his people, but now it felt natural.
In between lovemaking—it was what she called it—they would eat.
“You sure made a lot of sandwiches.” He broke off another corner and fed it to her.
She chewed slowly. “Mmm hmm.”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”
She swallowed the bite of sandwich. “I wasn’t.”
“If you say so.” He took a bite of the same sandwich and then gave her another bite. “Any reason you decided to make only sandwiches?”
“Soup wouldn’t make sense. Sandwiches are easy.” She took a bite. “I hope you’re not complaining. I thought you liked sandwiches?”
“I do. I’m just making a comment, nothing more.”
“If you say so.”
When they finished the sandwich, he barely managed to close the
refrigerator. She slid her hands around his back and pulled him close. He pushed her down and crawled on top of her.
“Is it always like this? I mean before with…” He stopped when her smile disappeared. “I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s all right.” She ran her hands up and down his back. “It’s a good memory. And, yes, it’s always like this.”
“I didn’t mean to ruin the moment.”
She shook her head. “You didn’t.”
“But you’re not smiling anymore.”
“Then why don’t you make me smile?”
~~~~
Morning light shined through the curtains, illuminating the peculiar patterns in the ceiling. Sasha lay next to him, one hand on his chest and one leg on top of him. Both her hands were as dry as his were.
She stirred, squeezing his hand gently. He thought he’d be so exhausted he’d be relieved it was over. Instead, he wished it could continue. He’d never been so close to someone before. How could his people have thrown away something like this?
She murmured in her sleep. It sounded like his name.
~~~~
They bathed in a tub large enough to hold them both. They’d been there for an hour and the water grew cold, but Jester didn’t care. He simply enjoyed watching her as they washed each other. And she did the same.
She looked between his legs and giggled.
“You know, where I come from most men would be offended by that.”
“Don’t be like that.” She gestured with the sponge. “It’s as if you are still in bliss.”
Jester didn’t have to look to know he was flaccid. After two days, he wasn’t sure when it would start working normally again.
“What do you mean?”
She pointed. “It’s still hanging. Well, floating right now.”
“That’s not normal?”
“After the bliss, they usually retract.”
“Oh.” He started to look down, then changed his mind. “Well, mine usually stay that way.”
“I see that.” She leaned over and kissed him. “We have a lot to learn about each other.”
“We do.” He kissed her back. It was something that would never get old. “I can’t wait to get started.”
Her laugh was melodic. “I think we just did.”
~~~~
They dressed, her in a bright white dress and him in a tan suit with a white shirt. He didn’t know if she had purchased it or if it belonged to Andrew, but the clothes fit perfectly.
She opened a small box on her dresser. She dug through the jewelry within and produced a pair of rings.
“What are those for?” Jester asked.
“They’re for later. Ready?”
Jester nodded. “Where are we going?”
“To the park. There’s one last thing to do.” She paused, looking at him. “If you’re ready.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He kissed her. “A court jester needs his queen.”
She kissed him. “Yes, he does.”
Together they stepped outside her apartment building. People lined the sidewalks and streets, always two at a time. Each couple walked arm in arm, and all in the same direction. Everyone dressed in white or lighter colors.
“Where are they going?”
“The same place we are.” Sasha put her arm under his. “Shall we?”
Together they went out into the street. Passing couples greeted them warmly. Some spoke of the beautiful, sunny day, not like the last bliss where it rained. Most were quiet, gazing at the one with them. There was nothing but joy in these people.
They rounded a corner and the park stood before them, packed with people. He had no idea how they could all fit in the park. He looked over at Sasha, remembering the last time a crowd surrounded them. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I’m okay.” She squeezed his arm. “I don’t know why, but I’m okay.”
They went into the park amidst the throngs of people. It wasn’t loud or disruptive. Everyone spoke graciously, saying, “Excuse me” or “Beg your pardon” if they bumped into each other. Many congratulated each other. Jester had never seen so many friendly people in one place.
“Sasha!” A woman came out of the crowd, dressed in white. She threw her arms around Sasha and hugged her tightly.
“Oh, thank God.” She kissed Sasha on the cheek. “I’m so happy for you, girl.”
Jester watched the strange woman as Sasha returned the hug. He couldn’t hear what Sasha mumbled to her, but when they parted, they were both in tears.
“Congratulations.” A man stood beside Jester, his hand extended. Jester took it and shook. “We haven’t met. I’m Kay’s husband, Mark.”
“Nice to meet you.” Jester assumed the other woman was Kay. “I’m Jester.”
His laugh was loud, but pleasant. “Yes, you are. I want to thank you.”
“For what?”
“For saving our friend.” Mark nodded at Sasha. “We were terrified she wouldn’t make it through this one.”
Before Jester could respond, arms wrapped around him. Kay stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you.” She hugged him so tightly it hurt.
Mark put a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll leave you two to join. See you later.”
Sasha waved at them as they disappeared into the crowd.
“Why are they here?” Jester said. “Not just them, but everyone.”
“Most are reaffirming their vows,” she said. “Some are here to join for the first time.”
“Like us?”
She stopped, gripping his arm tighter as she looked at him. “I need to know.”
“Know what?”
“Do you want to stay with me?”
He shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“No, listen.” She wrapped her arms around him. “It’s not like your world.”
He nodded. “You mate for life.”
“Yes. Until death. Can you—?” She pursed her lips. “Can you do this?”
He cupped her face in his hands. “I don’t want to be with anyone else. I only want to be with you.”
She let out her breath. “Okay then.” She guided him through the crowd toward a grove of trees. Some people had set up small booths and sold snack items. All congratulated him and Sasha. Up ahead, a group of people stood in a circle. One of them saw Sasha and Jester and waved them over.
“Wait, Father,” he said, “I think we have another.”
Sasha led Jester to the circle of people. They parted, and in the center stood an elderly man. “Are you here for the joining?”
“Yes, Father,” Sasha said. “We’re not late, are we?”
He grinned, as if he’d rather not be anywhere else. “You’re just in time.”
The group moved aside and allowed them to join the circle that surrounded the elderly man. Each couple faced him, holding the hand of their partner. Jester did the same.
The man spoke as if had said the lines many times but still enjoyed it. “You all stand before your maker. You stand beside the one who will walk with you always. Now and forever, they will be with you.”
Forever, Jester thought. Sasha glanced at him, grinning as broadly as he did. Yes, he could see them being together forever.
“Do you swear to cherish each other always?” the father asked.
“I do,” murmured the crowd.
“Do you swear to stay by each other always?”
“I do,” The crowd murmured again.
“Do you swear to love each other always?”
He used the word, the word Jester didn’t know. For a split second, the word felt natural. To love. Always. He repeated the word in his mind. He looked at her, and he thought he could feel the word they way they did. The feeling burst forth before he could stop it.
“I do!”
Everyone stared at Jester’s outburst, which came half a second after everyone said, “I do.”
“Uh, excuse me,” Jester said. “I got carried away.”
&nbs
p; They laughed openly, and then all at once they shouted, “I do!”
“That’s more like it,” the father said.
The laughter continued for a moment, and then the father continued. “And so before the maker, I pronounce you bonded until death.”
Sasha faced Jester, and he her. She took one of the rings she had brought with them and placed it on the third finger of his left hand. She handed him the other and then held out her own hand. He placed the other ring on her same finger.
“Go forth,” the father said, “with the maker’s blessing.”
Sasha put her arms around him. They kissed, as did every other couple. Applause erupted around him, but Jester ignored them. He wanted to savor every moment with his wife.
~~~~
After a day of dancing and celebrating, Jester thought he’d go right to sleep, but he lay awake, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep with so much on his mind.
He’d found a message on his tablet earlier. The prime minister’s people had sent him all the information they had regarding Earth. It wasn’t much, but it was more than his people had.
Sasha curled up next to him, her arm over him, breathing softly. Long before he promised himself to her, he made a promise to his own people. It was an obligation he couldn’t refuse. Besides, his people had to know what happened here, what they were missing.
Sasha’s form shifted in the darkness. He would do it early, before she awoke.
THE MEANING OF THE WORD
The morning sun woke Sasha. For the first time for as long as she could remember, she looked forward to the day. She had no clue what to tell her uncle, or the rest of her family. They’d be happy for her, though not as happy as she was. She reached over to the other side of the bed.
He wasn’t there. “Jester?”
There was no answer.
The bathroom door was open, and he wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen. He must be outside, she thought. Maybe getting some air. That had to be the reason.
Her tablet rang. She picked it up off the kitchen counter and answered it.
Kay looked panicked. “Sasha?”
“Kay, what is it?”
“Is Jester there?”
She shook her head. “Not at the moment.”
“Oh no! Tell me he’s not doing what I think he’s doing.”
“What do you mean?”