“He was a distraction. The boy got you pregnant, and that’s the end of it.”
“That time’s come and gone, Mom. It’s long overdue for you to make peace with it. I survived, and I got through the tough times with your help, thank you. Nathan isn’t just some boy either. He’s the love of my life, and he didn’t impregnate me out of some evil plot. We were both virgins and loved each other very much. Sashy coming at that time may not have been convenient, but she was every bit made from love,” I finish and my daughter storms in, tackling me in a tight hug.
She has tears on her cheeks as she squeezes me. “Oh, Momma! I love you so much. You could’ve gotten rid of me or put me up for adoption, but you didn’t. You chose to love me instead. I know it had to be hard, and I’m so grateful you kept me.”
I embrace her tightly. “There was no other option for me, sweet pea. I’m the one who’s grateful. You’ve truly been the highlight of my life, and you continue to be. You’re the best thing that your daddy and I have ever done together. I couldn’t be any more thankful for you. You’re an amazing daughter, Natasha, truly remarkable.”
My mom’s arms wrap around both of us. Her touch is soft and dainty, just as it’s been my entire life. “Oh my girls, I’m proud of you both,” she coos.
Sashy and I smile at her. Just because I don’t always agree with her, doesn’t mean I don’t love her—not even for a second. My life wouldn’t be possible without her and my father, and I’ll never forget that.
After holding us for a beat, she gives in. “I guess it’s settled then. You need to call Nathan, and invite him for dinner.”
I’m not sure if I’ve heard her right or if I’m imagining things. “Ma’am?”
She nods, releasing us. “Oh, yes. If you’re serious about him, then you invite him over for a family dinner.”
Natasha’s face lights up, excited. “Can we ask him, Momma? I know he’ll say yes; he loves hanging out with me!”
“I-I guess. I mean, yeah, sure,” I manage to stammer, caught off guard that my mom has suggested he be included in our family dinner. It usually only happens once a week, and it’s the four of us around the table to eat and catch up. It’s always my favorite night of the week, and we usually end it with a card game or something of that regard.
I turn to my mom. “What about Daddy?” I inquire, still not sure this is a good idea.
My mom smirks. “You leave that man to me. You get Nathanial on up here for dinner, and I’ll make sure your father behaves himself.”
Sashy cheers and dives for her phone. “I’m calling Dad to see what night he’s free.”
I nod, still caught off guard by my mother suggesting we include Nate.
Mere moments pass and Sashy is back in the room wearing a smile the size of Alabama. “Dad said he can come Friday for dinner. He was already planning to come to pick me up.”
My mom agrees, and I nod. “It’s a date.” And shit, it’s kind of really is a date—a family date.
***
Having Nate come for dinner is both a good and a bad idea. I’ve been excited but also a hot mess. I have no idea what I should wear, for starters. I can’t be overly dressed, or else my parents will call me out, and I’m trying to save myself that embarrassment. I want to look nice for Nate though. I want him to notice me.
I don’t know if he’s interested in me like I am in him. My feelings for him never once wavered over the years. While he’s called me beautiful and been polite, it’s not enough to clue me in on his true feelings toward me. Could he want what I do? I can only hope he wants more with me. Yet, I’m frightened to get my hopes up too much, only for them to come to a crushing halt.
I lean over to fix my hair in the powder room again, and my mom catches me. I feel like a juvenile when she shoots me a look that says ‘really.’ I murmur a, “Just making sure I look all right.”
“Mm-hmm. You’ve checked, what, five times now?”
A blush steels over my cheeks. “Mind your business, Momma,” I admonish and can hear her tinkling laughter as she walks down the hallway. She’s far too amused at seeing me frazzled.
Maybe I should’ve invited Nathan to dinner at my house first, so we could talk. My parents' influence will have me on guard all night. They’ve always been critical of my relationship with him, even though we kept it mostly platonic. I didn’t lose my virginity to him until he’d confessed his feelings for me. That also happened to be the day that my parents decided to suddenly move us away. I was heartbroken to leave him behind, but I didn’t have a choice. I especially didn’t when I discovered I was pregnant.
The doorbell rings, and I draw in a deep, nervous breath. I guess it’s now or never.
Nate
“Dinner was great. Thank you for having me,” I compliment once we’ve eaten and Sunshine’s parents have had the chance to bombard me with several questions. I won’t lie, it was a little uncomfortable, but I wasn’t expecting any different. I figured Natasha’s grandparents would want to vet me once they’d discovered I was spending more time with my daughter.
“You’re welcome anytime,” Sunshine’s mom says again as Natasha and I make our way to the door.
I offered to help with the clean-up, just as my mom had always told us when we were younger. I’d also politely answered several questions Sunshine’s father asked me during and after dinner. As much as I enjoy being around Sunshine, I’m more than ready to get some time with my daughter. It sucks having to wait all week long to see her and depending on our schedules, sometimes longer.
Sunshine follows Natasha and me outside to my truck. She offers our daughter a hug and tells her to behave, and she’ll see her in a few days. I wish she’d come with Natasha sometimes. I’ve missed the family time we were getting together with just the three of us. I won’t add that pressure to her if she’s not feeling it.
She was obviously angrier than I’d suspected when she left Clyde’s house over a month ago. The time apart hasn’t been easy on me. I’ve wanted to call her so many times and even bring it up when I pick up or drop off our daughter, but I’ve held back. I promised to give her time, and that’s what I’ve made myself stick to. It’s hard seeing her tonight though. She looks so damn beautiful, and no matter how much I tell myself I can’t have her, the heart wants what the heart wants.
“I hope you don’t mind that I came tonight,” I mention after Natasha’s jumped in my truck and can no longer overhear us. The evenings have been growing cooler, so she should be comfortable in there for a bit, while her mom and I talk.
“Mind? Of course not. I’ll admit, I was surprised when my mom suggested you come to family night. I’m glad she did, though, and you came. I’m sorry for the million questions they asked you. My dad was practically badgering you like a hostile witness on the stand. I promise I had nothing to do with that.”
I crack a grin and shrug it off. “To be honest, I was expecting that much, especially coming into a lawyer’s house. I’ll admit, he’s a bit intimidating, but I’ve never scared easily. Plus, it helps that I’ve known them since I was like six years old or so, even just in passing.”
She nods, biting her lip.
Fuck, I want to yank her into my arms badly. It seems to get harder each time I see her, not just pull her to me.
“Try living with him. Even in college, I never brought a boy home,” she divulges, and the news piques my curiosity.
“No? That’s good to know,” I quip and wink, attempting to be flirty. I’m trying so damn hard not to make this awkward or heavy. I want her to feel relaxed around me as much as possible.
“I-I should let you guys get going before it’s any later and you’re stuck driving in the dark,” she asserts and peers behind me at our daughter in the truck.
“Right.”
I chance a glance behind and catch Natasha engrossed with her phone. Normally, it’d bug me to see her on it, but I’m thankful in the moment. It affords us just a touch of privacy between us.
Reaching
for Sunshine’s hip, I easily tug her closer. I move in for a friendly hug, but she clings to me like a second skin, and I swear she sniffs me. “If you ever want to come to the ranch, you’re always welcome,” I murmur.
She tilts her head up, gazing longingly at me.
We’re close enough I can feel her breaths against my mouth, and it makes my heart pitter-patter with excitement. She’s always been able to make me feel this way when no others have even come close. She smells good—like peaches mixed with home. I don’t even think, I just tilt my head down and brush my lips against hers out of old habit. It’s a slow, soft, intimate caress. The kiss has her pushing up on her tippy-toes to put us fully flush, as she returns it.
With a groan, I decide to just say fuck it. I take her mouth in a blistering kiss. I’m so torn up inside, going crazy from touching her alone. She tastes like wine and lasagna, and I swear it’s my new favorite flavor. She’s everything I’ve always wanted and everything I’ve always dreamed of. I’m completely lost in her warmth and the coolness of her tongue against mine. It takes me a second to register that she’s no longer clinging to my form but pushing me away instead.
A beat passes for me to catch on, and I step back, releasing her. Her eyes are wide, mouth still open enough for me to graze her tongue again if I were to dive back in. My heart thunders, the rapid pounding like horses’ hooves thundering over a plain in a tense run. My own mouth’s parted, panting, as the need for the woman before me spirals through my blood. It drives me to take even more from her than just a measly kiss.
“I can’t do this here or now,” she admits quietly, and reality comes crashing down.
“Right.” I manage to bark.
She can’t or won’t? All because I pissed her off over a month ago? She’s holding onto this? There’s no way she can deny it. From that kiss alone, I know she feels something, damn it. She may not want me as strongly as I want her, but she can’t completely deny that she has some sort of feelings for me as well.
“I got caught up.” I acknowledge the truth. “It’s easy to do with you.”
She swallows, her fingertips resting against her lips. She nods and reveals, “It’s easy for me too, but Sashy is waiting.”
I’m well aware of our daughter behind us, but she wasn’t paying any attention. I wouldn’t have kissed her otherwise. I respect their relationship, and I don’t want to cause any confusion where Natasha is concerned. I wouldn’t know how to answer her questions if she were to ask about her mom and me right now, and I’m sure Sunshine feels the same way about it.
“I meant it; you know, you can always come and stay out at the ranch. Clyde and Shyla have asked about you as well.”
She nods. “Thank you. I have a lot of work at the moment.”
“Sure.” I easily give in, though nothing about it is easy on me. I fucking miss her. I’ve missed her for over half my life, but I won’t put myself out there like that. “Best we get on the road then. I’ll leave you to your work,” I comment and step farther away, opening my truck door.
I don’t like leaving her. I want her there with Natasha and me, but I won’t push her. She looks so beautiful tonight. One thing I learned with my parents’ deaths was that life can change in a moment’s notice. That was reaffirmed for me when Sunshine suddenly moved away, and yet again, when I found out about my daughter. I wish she’d realize it as well and stop holding back from me. I can tell she is from that kiss a few minutes ago and the way she’d clung to me. It brought back so many memories of when she wasn’t scared to tell me how she felt.
She waves to Natasha without offering me anything else. Climbing in, I slam my truck door and pull out of the driveway. My gaze is trained on her the entire time. I don’t look away until the last moment until I absolutely have to.
***
“I can’t believe how much you and Uncle Clyde have gotten done since I first came to the ranch!” Natasha exclaims, the following morning. She’s made her way down to the building site of the new house. She’s spent the morning making multiple batches of pancakes and waffles with her aunt Shyla. I suppose once she was done, she helped her uncle Clyde eat the majority of them.
“Hey squirt, how was breakfast?”
“Amazing! Aunt Shy is one of the best cooks. Seriously, sooo good, but don’t tell Grammy I said that.”
I shake my head, chuckling. “My lips are sealed…your secret’s safe with me. So, we’ve managed to get the framing, plumbing, electrical, gas, and the roof all finished on this place. I’d have to agree with you that we’ve been kicking butt.”
“It’s beginning to look like a real house, Dad. I’m really proud of you for doing all of this. I told my friends you were building it, and they thought I was joking. I’m going to snap a selfie with it behind me and text them all.”
“I sure hope so; I’m ready for it to be finished.”
“Me too,” she agrees. “I want my own room here, so I can stay for Christmas break.
“As for the pic, go for it. I’ll even get in the background and stick my tongue out at them if you want.”
“Yes, do it!” she gushes.
I step around until I’m in the background and stick out my tongue until she takes a pic. “I don’t know if the entire house will be finished by then, but I’ll try. You know you can always stay in the main house when you’re here anyhow. Uncle Ty was more than happy to give up his room to you for when you’re here visiting.”
“I know, but can I tell you the truth?”
“Of course, Natasha. You can always tell me anything.”
“Well, I kind of want to move down here when the house is finished. If it’s okay with you...”
I’m shocked to hear her say that, to be frank, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond either. I’d love nothing more than to have her come and live here—other than both her and Sunshine coming to live here.
“Have you spoken to your momma about any of this, by chance?”
She shakes her head, appearing a bit guilty. She shouldn’t feel that way about wanting to be here. I’m her dad, and this is her family as well.
“How about this; I’ll try my best to get the house ready for Christmas. Even if it’s not completely finished, maybe it’ll be done enough for us to stay in. Let’s not freak your momma out over premature talk of you moving in, just yet. We’ll start off smaller, like getting her to allow you to stay when you have days off of school. We’ve got Thanksgiving coming next month, and that’s a decent place, to begin with. You may end up deciding you don’t like it enough here anyhow if you get a chance to stay longer than two nights.”
She pulls her caramel colored locks into a high ponytail and shakes her head. “I already know I want to move here, Dad. I want you to be my coach in high school, and then we won’t miss each other’s games. I’d be so much better of an athlete with your help. We could see each other more and hang out.”
I nod. “But I don’t want that to be the only reason you come here—as an athlete. I can help you train from a few hours’ drive as well. Don’t take this the wrong way…I would love to have you here; I really would. I’m just trying to make sure it’s what you truly want because I know it’ll upset your mom.”
“I know, and just your suggestions you’ve given me already have made a big difference, but I want to be with you more. As in here, in this house, and physically being around you.”
I’ve hardly done anything. I got her on a healthy protein shake when I discovered she doesn’t eat enough before school. Not that it’s Sunshine’s fault or anything where that’s concerned, Natasha just runs out of time and grabs whatever she can find. Once she started the shake I suggested, she gained a lot of morning energy she lacked before. I also got the school to switch her morning homeroom to her last period, which gave her the extra time she needed to use it for her homework time. She gets to bed earlier, sleeps more and better, and her performance has blossomed because of it. They were just a few tweaks to help her out, nothing overboar
d.
“Do you think Mom would ever move back?” Her brow hikes, gazing at me curiously. She reminds me so much of Sunshine at this age, all tomboy mixed with natural beauty.
“I don’t know, Natasha.” I exhale, wishing I had a better answer for her. “At this point, you know her better than I do.”
I use the nail gun to shoot nails into the sheetrock I’m currently hanging. Dallas, my cousin, will go through the house this week with the mud and sandpaper to give it a finished look. I’ll work on cleaning the dust from sanding, and next week Clyde will go through with paint. The three of us have been steadily working, and we’ve made great progress. Shyla has been picking out fixtures and cabinets. Her helping out saves me a lot of time, since I’m coaching during the week, and then hanging out with Natasha whenever I possibly can.
“She says that this is her favorite place, and she always loved it here.”
“Really?” I pause to meet her gaze. “She said that?”
Natasha nods. “She wishes she moved back before, but it never happened.”
“Huh.” Her words hit home, again making me feel like there’s more to Sunshine than what I already know. I swear she was meant to be here, meant for me.
“Do you love her?”
“Those pancakes sure made you nosier than usual,” I murmur, and she giggles.
“Ha-ha, Dad, do you?”
“Does she love me?”
She shrugs. “I think she does, but you know Mom, she’s a tough one to crack.”
“Now that, we can agree on and to answer your question, of course, I do. I’ve always loved your momma; she’s a damn good woman.”
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