Dallas decides to pitch in and begins opening all the curtain rod boxes for me, placing each one in front of the other windows. With Shyla in real estate, I swear this place is going to look straight out of a magazine. It’s all on a budget thanks to her bargain finds online. Clyde spent this past week painting the inside of my house a light gray with white trim, per his wife’s instructions. The countertop business and glass place for the showers are supposed to stop by tomorrow to add in the last bits.
After that’s complete, we get to move on to the outside. I wasn’t planning to do anything where that’s concerned, but Shyla wasn’t hearing it. She’s ordered some Crepe Myrtle trees for the front of the house, and pear trees to surround it. While she swears it’ll be beautiful, it just sounds like a bunch of digging to me.
“I agree with you, but how do I go about doing that?”
Dallas interrupts. “Start with wine. I keep seeing everywhere that women like wine.” He shrugs, and Shyla laughs.
“While that may be true for some of us, I’d start by praying on it. Ask Him for guidance and think about it with an open mind. This is really important, so make sure you speak to her somewhere with privacy. Lead with your feelings and the truth. If Sunshine can’t respect you for it and reciprocate, then that speaks volumes on her.”
I release a tense breath and meet my brother’s gaze over Shyla’s shoulder. “I see why you married her,” I comment. “She’s not just a pretty face.” I send her a teasing wink, and she laughs.
“Shut it, Nate! Seriously, though, I hope it works out for you.”
Dallas bobs his head. “Yeah, man.”
Clyde wraps his arms around his wife and wishes me luck. Lord knows I’m going to need it. If I can’t come to some sort of middle ground with Sunshine on this, it may be the end of us before we have a chance to even get started.
***
Taking a seat in Sunshine’s formal living area, I offer her a friendly smile and gratefully accept the bottled water she hands me. I’d taken Dallas’s advice and shown up with a bottle of wine. I figured it couldn’t hurt to be overly prepared. If wine will do the trick, who am I to argue.
“I appreciate you taking off of work early so we could talk in private.” I was afraid our daughter would end up being around us when this finally happened, and I didn’t want the conversation to head south like it did initially.
She sits down beside me on the uncomfortable decorative couch. There’s enough space between us for her to turn toward me. Our knees lightly brush, and it’s sufficient enough to distract me and get me to look at them. I wish I could touch her more. I wanted to tug her into my arms from the moment she answered her door. That can wait, though. This is too important to allow us to get off track.
“You look gorgeous today,” I compliment randomly.
A blush steals over her lightly-freckled cheeks. “Thanks. Is everything all right?”
“Well, we never really got into what Natasha had said that’d made you so upset. Understandably so, I’d have been wrecked if the roles were reversed.”
“Wrecked,” she repeats. “Yes, that’s a decent word to explain how I was feeling. Nathan, our daughter, she’s everything to me. It’s been that way from the moment I found out about her. Every choice I’ve made was to offer her an easier life growing up. I’ve already discussed it with you and apologized numerous times.”
She releases a tense breath and continues. “I’m an adult now, and there’s no excuse for not contacting you sooner when I moved out of my parent’s house. However, I hope you know if I were given any other option besides adoption when it came to her, I would’ve contacted you immediately. To be faced with the possibility of losing her now, it has me on edge, to be honest.”
Reaching for her hand, I encompass it with mine. “I know sweetheart. That’s not what today is about. I was furious before. I will say that much, but I’m learning to forgive you. I know in my heart that if it were to happen today, that things would be different. At least I would like to believe they are. I’m not trying to take Natasha from you. I never would’ve in the past, either.”
“Knowing what I do now, I wish I could change it. I’m beyond grateful you’ve accepted Natasha so quickly, with open arms. You’ve been more than cordial to me about everything.”
“Of course, I going to accept her; she’s my kid. Besides, haven’t you realized the truth by now? I’ve always loved you, ever since we were kids. You were my best friend, Sunshine. I’d have done anything for you. I still will, in fact.”
She bites her lip. “I-it will break me if she leaves,” she stammers on the verge of sobbing. “I’ve fought with myself over it, on what the right thing to do is...but it’s you’re time. If she truly wants to go, and you’ll allow it, I won’t stop her. She can live with you, but I’ll be visiting pretty much all the time. To the point that you’ll get sick of me.”
My lips turn up in an amused smirk. “Darlin’, please calm down. I’m not taking our baby from you like that. Would I like for Natasha to come live with me? Of course, but she needs her momma more than she needs me. I was thinking maybe she could keep staying with me each weekend, but also on any other days she may have off of school and during the summer.”
She squeezes my hand, still holding hers. “That would mean Christmas and Thanksgiving, and spring break as well, even her birthday...”
I nod, drinking from my water before continuing. “That’s correct, but back to your statement before, I’d never get tired of you. Actually, it’s the opposite. I want you around even more, as much as possible.”
She scoots closer and asks, “You want to see me more? Exactly how much is more to you?”
“I don’t want to scare you off or overwhelm you. How about we start with you coming around each weekend with Natasha like you were back in the beginning?”
“I can do that. I’ve, um, actually wanted to come. I was afraid I’d be encroaching on your father-daughter time, and the last thing I want is to take anything away from that.”
“Honey, if I felt that way, I could easily drive up during the week and have dinner with her.”
She smiles. “You are a great father, Nate—a natural already—and you’ve blown me away. There are men out there who live in the same town as their children and never lift a finger for them or visit. Here you are, willing to drive hours just to share a meal or to pick our daughter up.”
“Those men are stupid. Just because I’m a guy, doesn’t mean I should be offered an easier route. If a woman is expected to take care of her child day in and day out, there is no difference, in my book, where a man is concerned. Actually, that’s not true. It’s a father’s responsibility to make sure his family is taken care of financially as well. Anyone thinking differently is wrong. Having children, a wife, a family—it’s a privilege. One I’m grateful to be blessed with.”
She offers me a wide smile, her caramel infused irises shining, with a look that I truly hope is love. Lord knows that’s what I’m projecting toward her. Her hair’s back to normal today too. While she was beautiful with it straight, I like her best like this. It’s up in a messy ponytail, bouncy ringlets shooting off in every direction. Her light blue T-shirt’s falling off her left shoulder and her tight black yoga pants leave nothing to the imagination. Her curves are killer, and those yoga pants were one of the best inventions to ever hit the stores.
“You’re pretty amazing, you know that?”
Her compliment warms my chest, but I still have the intense desire to wrap my arms around her. “Come here, darlin’.”
“Hmm? Where do you want me?” she asks, and I pat my lap.
Her teeth sink into her plump bottom lip as she shyly adjusts to climb over me. Her knees straddle my thighs. My hands eagerly seek her backside, palming her fat booty to draw her in close. “This right here is what I wanted from the moment I walked in,” I admit and pepper an affectionate kiss on her forehead.
“You did?”
“Of course. I alwa
ys want to touch you,” I disclose. “Anytime you get the need to do the same, don’t hesitate.”
“I wasn’t sure you felt that way after last weekend. You seemed to keep your distance. I thought maybe dinner and stuff was a one-time thing. I didn’t want to assume you were ready for any more than that much.”
“What? Hell no. I was trying to back off and give you some space. I didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed or like I was expecting you to have sex with me. I just wanted you to have a good weekend and relax. I was trying to keep any pressure of expectations off you in hopes that by doing so, it’d make you keep coming back.”
Her head tilts as she gazes at me, her mouth perked up into a soft smile. “How can you always be so selfless? I don’t remember you being this way when we were younger. Was I blind before, or is it something new?”
My hands move to lightly graze over her back. “Nah, it’s probably just because I was an asshole teenager.” I crack a grin, and she laughs.
“Nope, I don’t remember that so much. I do, however, recall you being protective.” She sits her sexy ass on my thighs, resting her hands on my shoulders. “And you were always saying these really sweet things to boost my confidence. I also have a favorite memory that involves you giving me my first kiss.” She punctuates it by leaning in to graze my mouth with hers.
The move has me wanting to yank her into me and lock my lips to hers. I try to show some patience, though and hold back from moving.
“That all?” I goad her on. My fingers move to kneed and massage her muscles. I could do this much better if her clothes were missing.
“No. Not even close,” she whispers. Her forehead rests lightly against mine, bringing me closer to claiming the next kiss from her. Meeting my intense stare, she admits, “You were my first in everything.”
My hand works its way to the back of her neck. My fingers spread, pulling her, so her mouth’s to mine once again. I mutter against her lips, “And hopefully, your last.” Then I’m kissing her like I’m dying of thirst and she’s the only water in sight. This woman owns me, heart and soul.
I’m engrossed with her scent and touch. I want her more than I can remember ever wanting something in my life. “I need to touch you, honey. Is that all right?”
Sunshine
“Yes.” I immediately agree as desire builds in me so quickly I could burst. “Please, always touch me,” I plead with him, remaining close enough that I can brush kisses between each word.
This man drives me insane just having him near, but when he touches me, it lights my body on fire. I’ve never reacted like this with another; it’s always been Nathanial no matter how I’ve tried to forget him in the past.
“Jesus, Sunshine. You know how to make a man lose control,” he confesses, and I feel his hardness between my thighs. He wants me, and that’s a very powerful feeling, knowing I’m the root of his desire.
His fingers move to the bottom of my shirt, working the material over my head. The air hits my exposed chest with the loss of my shirt, and the chill kisses my nipples into taut pebbles. My sports bra offers no padding of any kind, just a thin layer of material holding my generous breasts from being free.
“Take it off,” I demand and Nate quickly obliges, freeing me completely.
“You’re so damn gorgeous, you take my breath away.”
He’s not looking at my chest as I’d expect him to be, he’s not moving to grope and tug at my nipples either. Rather, he’s staring at my belly, using the pads of his thumbs to lightly trace along my stretch marks. No matter how much I’ve tried to get rid of them, they stubbornly remain. The thinly-lined skin has forever marked me with the proof that our daughter was there at one time.
My fingers go to under his chin, lightly lifting until his gaze meets mine. He licks his lips, eyes glossy, as he repeats on a whisper, “Beautiful.”
My mouth crashes to his, not being able to get enough of him all at once. Nate knows exactly what to say, and when to say it, to make me feel like I’m the prettiest woman in the entire world to him. My palms cup his whiskery cheeks as my tongue caresses his. We kiss like there’s no other as if we’re the only two people who exist in the very moment. His hands move to my thighs, running up and down until finally settling on my hips. He locks them there, tightly grasping me to tug me against his hardness. My core explodes with wet fire, suddenly needing to feel him right there without any of the barriers between us.
Pulling away on a moan, I nearly whimper. I need him to fill me, to feel him without our clothes on. He so easily turns me into this wanton mess, full of pent-up desire that’s all for him. He heeds my plea, lifting us as if we’re one being.
I cling to him, trying to not fall off and he spins us around, dumping me on the coach. In the next blink, he’s stripping my pants off and peeling his shirt over his head. With a flick of his fingers, he releases his jeans button and works to quickly shove the material down his hips and climb over me.
“I want you,” I assert without any more preamble.
I’m done with the teasing and beating around the bush. Rubbing my palm over his sculpted chest, I’m overcome with how sexy he is. I can’t believe he was a freaking stripper, though it shouldn’t surprise me with how good he looks and can pop his hips. Jealousy flairs through me at the thought of other women seeing him like that and it has me irrationally demanding, “Only me, Nate. No other women.”
“No one else, Sunshine.” He doesn’t hesitate.
“Promise me!”
“I promise darlin’, only you...It’s always been you,” he soothes and then I’m wrapping my legs around his hips, bringing his length in contact with my core.
“Fuck me, Nathanial, please.”
“I will, but I have to know, are you on birth control?”
I nod. “Yeah, are you good?” It didn’t even cross my mind the last time we got together to ask. I’m not worried where he’s concerned. I trust he’d never put me in a compromising position, but I should’ve said something regardless.
“Hmm, wonder how strong it is? You make me come so fucking hard, I’m gonna knock your ass up.”
Licking my lips, I take him in, waiting to see if that possibility frightens him. When he doesn’t balk, I ask, “You gonna put it in?”
“Maybe I should rephrase.” He pauses and then emphasis, “I want to put another baby in you.”
“Nathanial Owens, stop stalling and fuck me. Right now.”
“Yes ma’am,” he purrs, and then he’s thrusting his cock deep.
“Oh, God!” I cry out, my hands moving to dig my nails into his back, shoulders, biceps...hell, anywhere I can reach. “Harder! I want to feel you everywhere.”
“Darlin’, just you wait. You won’t be able to move later on without feeling exactly how much I’ve touched and taken. You’re mine, Sunshine, best you never forget that.”
He plows forward, my legs spreading to take him as far as he can push in. He’s huge. I’ve never had a cock as big as his and losing my virginity to him, it’s a miracle I ever wanted to have sex again in the first place.
“You hear me?” he rumbles. “You’re my woman, for good now.”
“I hear you, cowboy. I’m not saying no, trust me.”
“Good.”
He moves both my legs until my knees are hooked over his shoulders then he’s hitting me so deeply I’m yelling. Thank God we’re alone; I’d never be able to hold back at this rate. I want to tell him that I love him so badly. Would it be wrong if I did? Is it too soon after he’s admitted he wants me? I mean he’s talking about the possibility of me becoming pregnant again and that I’m his woman. I would think that means he loves me, right? Or is it all the-heat-of-the-moment sort of thing? I hate it how I tend to overcomplicate things, especially where he’s concerned.
Holding on for the ride, I let my body and mind relax into the feelings. Quickly after I let go of my tension, the pleasure builds, and I’m orgasming. Nate follows quickly after, groaning through his intense release
. It seems like we’re in tune with one another without really trying to be that way. It all comes fairly easy in this department when it’s with him, and I don’t know if I should be frightened or overjoyed with that prospect.
This time after we’re finished, I don’t let him leave so quickly. We have about an hour until our daughter gets home and she’d be overjoyed to find Nathan here anyhow. “I don’t want you to go,” I disclose, tired of keeping my true feelings bottled up.
He flashes a charming, sated smile. “That’s good, darlin’. I was hoping you’d let me take my girls out for dinner before I have to head on back home.”
I can’t help but smirk, with pleasant butterflies flying around in my stomach as I clarify. “Your girls, huh?
“Damn straight. If you’ll have me, that is. I meant what I said Sunshine. You’ve always been mine. You’re the only woman I want. Natasha and you both mean the absolute world to me.”
“Are we really doing this? I mean, with you and me?” I question, with the possibilities consuming me. “I want to, but I need to know if you’re serious or if we’re only having sex. I have to know what I should expect.”
“Tried to keep it strictly sex the last time I came up here. I thought it was what you wanted. It ended up making me want you even more. I attempted to hold my feelings at bay, for months now...but they haven’t gone away. I’m beginning to believe that they never will. I’ve loved you since I was a kid. I’ve wanted you to be mine from the moment I hit puberty and stopped seeing you as just my best friend, but as more.”
Tears work their way up, wanting to break free. I can’t allow myself to become overly emotional about this. Whatever choices and decisions we make right now will affect our daughter, so I have to keep a clear head. “I want to be with you too. My feelings for you have never wavered over the years. To be perfectly honest, I still love you. I found it hard not to say it just moments ago...does that freak you out?”
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