by Nicole Dykes
Rhys
“She hates this.” I walk with Blair back to our cars in the parking lot of Bree’s new school. There was a quick meeting we had to attend with her on the first day before classes start, and all I can think about is how miserable Bree looked.
She was wearing the school's jumper, and the kid does not like to wear skirts. If you ask me, it’s fucking sexist as hell to make the girls wear skirts and the boys wear slacks.
She had fun with her friends this weekend, and now she looks so incredibly sad today.
“She’ll be okay, Rhys. She’s a tough kid.”
I look at Blair and have no idea when she turned into this mom. It’s exactly what she is though. She did everything she could to make sure Bree’s party was perfect. She bought Bree presents she would actually want. She forced us to sing “Happy Birthday,” and she’s the reason Bree was smiling the entire weekend, right up until bedtime last night.
“I feel like a dick.”
She just shrugs easily and unlocks her car that’s parked right next to mine. “You are a dick.”
I almost smile. “Thanks.”
She laughs easily and opens her door. “Not for this though. This is protecting her. Soon we’ll go to the hearing and get our kid. Then we can do anything we want. We can let her go to the school of her choice and know she’s safe.”
Now I do smile. It’s small, and she may not even notice it, but it’s there. This fucking woman actually makes me happy. Which then makes my heart squeeze with guilt because I know I can’t ever be the man she deserves.
The night of the party in her bed . . . it took every ounce of control I had to let my full body rest against hers, to not pull back and bolt. To let my lips trail over her skin and breathe her in.
She’s this beautiful, perfect, strong woman with attitude to match my own, and I can’t even lose myself in her long enough to look her in the eye when I fuck her. I can’t kiss her lips and close my eyes, just letting everything go so I can be in the moment with her.
We both go about our day until I return to the school to pick up Bree. If possible, she looks even more miserable after school. She won’t look at me when she walks to my car and climbs in the back seat.
“How was it?”
She doesn’t look up to address me. “Fine. Dumb rich kids talking about the new iPhone all day long.”
Not surprising. “You learn anything?”
She just shrugs her shoulders, and I hate how fucking upset she looks. This is definitely not what I wanted. To street kids, school can oddly be an escape, the place you’re safest, the place you can be around your friends, have an actual meal.
School is something you hold close, especially in the earlier years before you find other stuff to numb your senses.
“What do you think Rhett and Fletcher are doing right now?”
Now her head picks up as her eyes meet mine in the rearview. “Probably starting their walk home.”
“They don’t ride the bus?”
She shakes her head. “They don’t like the bus. We all used to meet and walk together. Until I moved in with them.”
I don’t miss the contempt in her voice when she says “them.” I fight the sickening feeling in my gut. “Well, let’s go see if we can find them.”
She perks up. “Really?”
I smile inwardly, still not liking that her best friends are boys, but I know they’re important to her. “Yes. Really.”
I turn to go toward her old school, and it’s not long before we see Rhett and Fletcher walking on the sidewalk by the school, both with bookbags slung over their shoulders. I slow to a stop and roll down Bree’s window. “Hey!” she shouts happily.
They both recognize her voice instantly and jog over to talk to her. “Hey, rich kid,” Rhett says, whistling when he sees her jumper.
I roll my eyes, and so does Bree. “Shut. Up.”
He offers her a crooked smile, and I’m the next one to speak up. “You guys want to hang with Bree today? Will it be okay?”
They share a look, and Fletcher nods his head at me. “Yeah. That’d be okay.”
I unlock the door, and they both climb in the back with Bree. If anyone saw this, they would probably call the cops. But I know the system, and no one is watching out for these kids, which again makes my stomach twist.
I drive them to get a snack at a drive-thru before driving downtown to the shop. They camp out in the breakroom I have mostly finished now. I open the shop and shoot Blair a text to let her know we have three kids to feed tonight.
She writes me back immediately with laughing emojis and says I’m adorable.
I send her the middle finger emoji and then quickly get to work when a new customer arrives. Rhett seems particularly interested in my work, asking questions frequently, which I actually don’t mind.
A couple of hours later, Blair breezes into my shop with that knowing smirk on her pretty face. I’m sitting behind the front desk, and she leans across it. “Did you adopt two more?”
I shake my head, glancing back to the breakroom where all three are watching television, Bree with a textbook on her lap. I turn back to Blair. “You’re right. They’re her constant. They ground her.”
She smiles, looking into my eyes far too intensely, and I can tell she wants to kiss me. I want to let her, but instead I stand up and holler toward the back. “Your ride’s here.”
Blair rolls her eyes and stands up as Bree walks into the main shop area with the boys in tow. “Do we have to take them home?”
Blair shakes her head. “Hell, no. I haven’t gotten to hang out with them yet.” She flings her hair over her shoulder in her cool as fuck Blair fashion. “I thought we would go grab something for dinner and hang out at the house before I take them home.”
Bree actually lights up. And I mean, the kid is beaming. “Okay.” She turns to me. “Are you coming too?”
I shake my head. “I should probably keep the shop open.”
“Maybe you should hire someone else to do that,” Blair says, brushing past me as she heads toward the door.
“I can barely pay myself at the moment, Blair.”
She just shrugs as the kids go and gather their things. “Maybe you don’t have to worry about that, Rhys. I’ll be your sugar mama.” She winks, and I just shake my head, almost smiling.
“No thanks.”
She laughs, expecting that answer. “You can pay me back in other ways.” She wags her eyebrows at me, and I shake my head, but this time I do offer a smile.
All three kids meet her at the door, and she opens it for them. “I’ll save you a plate.”
“Thanks.”
She smiles at me before they all leave, and I think we can actually add this to our routine.
I’ll do anything I can to make Bree feel comfortable with her new normal.
It’s Friday, and we’ve had Fletcher and Rhett over all week after school. We agreed to let them stay the night again tonight, and Rhys has finally loosened up about the whole thing.
I was shocked when he told me I would have two extra kids to feed on Monday, but it’s become our routine. They both assured me as long as they were back to their foster homes by nine, they were fine. And so far, there’s been no backlash.
I did insist on asking both sets of foster parents Tuesday when I dropped them off and found out quickly they weren’t kidding. None of them could be bothered with getting to know me or where the kids were spending their time.
Which infuriated me and sent a little relief through me at the same time because if they don’t care, then Bree can still have her best friends in her life.
It’s late when Rhys gets home, and the kids are already settled in the living room. I imagine he gave them a once-over before he came upstairs. I’m sitting on my bed, rubbing lotion over my elbows when he walks in.
“Hey.” He looks tired. I know he’s working his ass off at the shop to make sure the numbers look good for the hearing.
“Hi.” His eyes
soak me in, and I crawl toward him on the bed, shamelessly dressed in a lacey black teddy so sheer I know my nipples peek through.
“You could just wait for me totally naked.” He approaches me slowly, and I wait for him to insult me or pull back, but what comes next is only his smooth, husky voice. “But this works too.”
Again, I feel the caress of his gaze over my body, and I’m on fire with the anticipation as he sits down on the edge of the bed, not undressing.
I start to pout until he pulls a black box from his jacket pocket. “It’s not much.”
I sit up next to him, tucking my legs underneath me as he hands it to me. “You really got me a ring?”
I thought he was fucking with me or that he’d forget. I open the box, and a gasp falls from my lips when I see the beautiful wedding band. It’s rose gold with small diamonds along it, with a dusty rose-colored jewel in the middle. “Rhys.”
He rubs the back of his neck nervously, his eyes cast downward. “I know it’s not a huge diamond. I guess it’s morganite or something. But I don’t know, it reminded me of a rose. And then the band was rose gold.”
I want to kiss him. I stop myself, but God I want to. A tear slides down my cheek, one I curse because I hate crying. “You bought me a rose wedding ring.”
He shrugs his large shoulders, still looking away. “I don’t know why. I can take it back. I have the receipt.”
I pull it out of the box and slip it over my ring finger. “Don’t you fucking dare. Rhys, look at me.”
He turns, his eyes meeting mine. “I love it. It’s . . .” I sigh, looking down at the ring he took time to think about, the beautiful ring that symbolizes the tattoo he gave me. “Perfect. It’s perfect, Rhys.”
He smiles slightly at that. “Yeah?”
I nod my head and pry my eyes off the ring to look up at him. “Thank you.”
He looks uncomfortable as he shrugs out of his jacket. “You’re welcome.”
I think about the band I ordered for him and smile to myself. “Yours should be here soon.”
He nods his head, peeling his shirt off, his eyes moving from the ring on my finger to my teddy. “Okay.”
I can feel his desire for me as I place the box on the bed and edge a little closer to him. “Are the kids watching a movie?”
He nods his head, standing up and popping the button of his jeans open. “Yeah. I made sure the sleeping bags were all appropriately apart.”
I laugh. “I’m surprised you didn’t measure the distance.”
He pushes his jeans down, and my eyes travel over his naked body, going straight to his dick that’s hard and standing at attention. Ready for me. “I thought about it.”
He kicks his jeans off and rejoins me on the bed. I want to climb onto his lap, kiss him, and let him sink deep inside of me, but I know that’s not what’s in store for the night. I wait for him to take the lead. Something that’s always been difficult for me.
“No question tonight?”
A stupid one comes to the forefront of my mind as I'm examining his package, and when his eyes meet mine, I know they gave me away.
“Go ahead.”
I don’t waste time asking because it’s Rhys, neither of us really back down. “Why can’t I say that you have a big dick? Most guys beg me to tell them how big they are even when it’s an obvious lie.” My eyes dart down to shamelessly ogle him. “Which with you, it’s not.”
He lets out a heavy sigh. “She used to tell me that. A lot.” My gaze lifts back up to his face, and I hate the anguish etched there. “She would tell me how much bigger I was than her husband and how she couldn’t believe it.”
I want to joke about it. I want to help him move past it, but I tread lightly. “I mean . . . she wasn’t wrong about you being big.”
He doesn’t smile, but he doesn’t grimace either, so I’m calling it a win. But then his features darken. “She said it once when she was on top of me and he was watching.” I watch him slowly swallow, it appearing to be painful. And I know he’s lost in the memory. “I hoped he didn’t hear it, but he did. And afterward he gave me the worst beating of my life. Broke two ribs.”
That. Fucker.
Way to kill the mood, Blair.
“So, he had a tiny dick and was jealous of you. That’s not your fault.”
A small smile tugs at his lips, and then his hands wrap around the back of my neck, pulling my face to his before our lips crash together. It takes me a moment to realize what’s happening. That Rhys is actually kissing my lips without me having to ask him to do it.
And God, it feels good.
I try to keep my hands at my sides, afraid I’m going to spook him as his hands grasp my neck and hold me to him. His tongue tangles with mine as we nip and suck, lost in the moment together.
He pulls his mouth away only slightly to breathe against my lips, “Touch me, Blair.”
I suck in a deep breath of surprise from his words and bring my trembling hand between our bodies to graze over his taut abs, relishing in every single carved ridge. His lips attack mine again as we kiss, and I'm desperate for him. But I don’t push him.
He pulls me to his lap to straddle him as we kiss, and I don’t wait now, grabbing his hard cock and positioning it where I need him. When I sink onto him, we both groan deeply into our kiss, and neither of us relent.
I rock against him as his hands smooth over my back and mine explore his chest and stomach.
It doesn’t take us long to get to the finish line, the experience a brand new one and jacking up the excitement for us both.
I can feel him tense a couple of times as he kisses me, almost like he’s waiting for his mind to send him into a spiral, but when I come, he follows moments later, and we fall back onto the bed, me in his arms.
Will it last?
Who knows?
But I’ll always remember tonight.
Things have been going smoothly, far too smoothly. And I'm waiting for the massive fuckup that’s on the way.
I look over at Blair, asleep in the bed, fully naked from last night. I’ve been sleeping in the bed with her lately. Ever since the night I gave her the ring, I've been trying to. I’ve been working on keeping my breathing even and letting her touch me.
Why?
I don’t know.
Something about the way she looked at that ring set something off inside me. I could see the love she had for it. I was nervous as hell that she would laugh in my face, but the tears in her eyes and her admiring gaze twisted my insides in a good way, made me feel things I wasn’t sure I could ever feel.
I stare at the band on my hand. It’s simple. And it’s rose gold.
She’d ordered mine before I gave her ring to her. And they match.
I don’t know. That’s gotta mean something, right?
The hearing is today, and I feel the anxiety rush over me as I sit here, staring at my wedding band, looking over at Blair, my wife. We’ve done everything we possibly can for it to go our way, but who the hell knows if it’s actually enough?
I’ve never had the system work for me.
And if it does this time, then I'm going to be responsible for a minor. And it’s permanent.
I nearly dart for the bathroom, the wave of nausea hitting me, but my phone rings on the bedside table, and I see Sean’s name.
I grab it and answer gruffly, “Hello?”
“So, now you’re fucking married? And not only that, you’re married to Blair.”
It’s not a question, and Jesus Christ, Gillian has a big mouth. I groan and lean back. “Not for that long.”
“Long enough, man. What the fuck? You were in my wedding.”
I look over at Blair who is still fast asleep, and I want to tell him that it’s just on paper. That it’s not a big deal. But I’m not so sure that’s the truth anymore, and Sean can smell bullshit from a mile away. “It was at the courthouse. Nothing special.”
“Wow, man. You’re all in now.”
My heart squeeze
s tightly in my chest and beats at a steady thump, thump, thump I can hear in my ears. “I know.”
“You still taking care of yourself?”
No. “Yes.” I know he’s talking about going to meetings, and the truth is I haven’t been for a bit. I’m going to make time for it, but everything has been chaotic. I’ve been doing my best to make a profit at the shop by working long hours, and it’s starting to pay off.
“Really?”
Again, he’s a great bullshit detector. “I’ll make more time for it.”
“Okay, man. Well, I better be at your next wedding.”
“Fuck you.”
He only laughs because with us “fuck you” most definitely means we care. “Fuck you too.”
I hang up and after placing the phone down, I run my fingers through my hair and try not to think about what will happen if Blair and I don’t win custody of Bree today, if we have to pack Bree up and send her on her way with that motherfucker Herrington.
What I will do after that.
Because how the fuck can I not try to numb myself into oblivion if I know she’s there under his roof? Where she doesn’t feel safe. Where everyone else assumes she has it made, but he has access to her every night.
A coat of sweat coats my skin, and my stomach lurches as I'm bombarded by so many fucking memories that I dart off the bed and just barely make it to the toilet in time.
“Fuck!” I flush the toilet and lean back against the wall, running my fingers through my hair and shaking like a pussy. Naked and cold. Numb.
Blair walks into the bathroom, wrapping a silk robe around her, but she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t touch me.
She lets me sit there, leaning my head back against the wall, breathing in and out rapidly until finally my breathing starts to slow and my eyes close.
I want to be over this shit. I don’t want to think about it anymore. Ever again. But it’s something I'll never escape.
I hear the shower turn on. When I open my eyes, I see Blair’s robe hit the ground at her bare feet. Then her hand reaches down for me.